Mr. Big Stuff 15/15 By HK Rating: R- language and some sexual content Authors Notes: Although this is the last part of the Mr. Big Stuff series, don't expect this to be the last you'll see of this Alternate Universe. I had so much fun writing this that there's sure to be more. Thanks: To Lois, superbeta. And to everyone who's been supportive or even a little pushy (you know who you are *wink*) I needed it. Feedback: Yes yes yes!! Please Please Please!! hannahkelli@netscape.net Website: www.geocities.com/hannahkelli/Fanfic.html Two Weeks Later… "Do you have everything packed?" Ethan asked. He and Justin were scheduled to fly back to Los Angeles in the morning and Ethan knew that Justin had a bad habit of packing at the last minute. Seeing how distracted the blond had been in the two weeks since he'd last seen Brian, Ethan figured there was no way he would be packed. "All done." Justin looked around the room once more before turning back to Ethan. "There's something I have to do tonight, E." "Talk to him?" Justin nodded. "Go. Be back by seven, we have to be at the airport by eight." Ethan patted his friend on the back and sent him on his way. Justin walked most of the way to Brian's, feeling like he really needed the time to think about what he was going to say. In all of his fantasies, Brian pulled him inside, made love to him all night, and never let him go. Justin had a feeling that wouldn't be happening. When he found himself outside the loft, Justin took one last deep breath before punching in Brian's code and entering the building. He wondered if the brunet would even be there, it was Friday night and there was a good chance he was at Babylon. "No matter what, I have to try." Justin took a deep breath and knocked on the door to Brian's loft. He waited several long moments and was about to turn away when he heard a click and then the door slide open. Brian stood on the other side, hair mussed, eyes only half open. "Justin?" "Hey." Justin's voice was quiet. "Can I come in?" "What are you doing here?" Brian asked after he'd closed the door. A storm of emotions was brewing inside him and he didn't know whether to pull Justin inside and do everything in his power to keep him there or to run and hide until the blond went away. "I'm going back to LA tomorrow." Justin said quietly, "I couldn't leave without…" He paused. "Don't worry, nobody saw me come here." "I'm sorry I freaked out, Justin." Brian sighed. "All that media stuff scared the shit out of me. I had no right to be so harsh." "You only did what I asked you to." Justin shrugged. He'd never imagined that things could be so awkward with Brian, it had always come so easily for the two of them. "So what happens when you get back to LA?" Brian gestured for Justin to sit down on the couch and he poured two glasses of wine. "I have to meet my new assistant and then I'm going to start working on a new picture." Justin shrugged. "After that, who knows. Maybe I'll take some time off." "Sounds like a good idea." Brian replied. He had no idea what else to say, the tension in the room was stifling.  "How about you? Anything big going on?" "Not really. The munchers are thinking of going to visit their friend Leda in New York, so I might take Gus up to my partner's cabin for a couple of days next month. Other than that, business as usual." Brian shrugged. "Oh, I almost forgot." Justin reached into the messenger bag he was carrying and pulled out a small stuffed Scooby Doo toy. "I thought Gus would probably get a kick out of it. I ordered it online before… well, just before." "If you want to give it to him yourself, I'd be happy to give you their address." Brian offered. "No, thanks. It's better this way. Besides, I'm leaving first thing tomorrow." Justin bit his lip. "Just tell him that it's from his Jus and that I'll always remember him." "Listen to us," Brian chuckled slightly, "we sound like one of us is dying." "Something's dying." Justin mumbled, making certain that Brian couldn't hear him. "Brian?" "Yeah?" In reply, Justin placed his wine glass on the table before grabbing Brian's and doing the same then shimmying closer to the brunet on the couch and capturing his lips. Brian stiffened for a moment before melting into the kiss. "Don't think about tomorrow." Justin whispered. "Just take me to the bedroom and make me feel loved." "Justin…" Brian's voice came out in a strangled cry. "Please," Justin sounded desperate and Brian didn't have the strength, or even the desire, to turn him down. Sliding his arms around Justin and pulling the blond's legs up around his waist, Brian lifted Justin from the couch and began making his way to the bedroom. Justin's arms were immediately around Brian's neck and his lips were attacking the brunet's neck. As Brian lowered the both of them to the bed, Justin slid his hands under his lover's shirt and slipped it over his head. In moments, Justin's hands were feeling Brian all over, and his mouth was leaving a wet trail across the brunet's collarbones. Brian arched his back, pressing closer into Justin's touch. He'd been trying to convince himself that he didn't miss the feel of Justin against him, but the blond was quickly reminding him why trying to convince himself had been so difficult. "I missed you."  Brian whispered, needing to say the words but still hoping the blond wouldn't hear him. Justin was sure that he'd heard Brian say he missed him, but chose not to reply. It was obvious by the volume at which the words were said that they weren't meant for his ears. Justin pulled Brian's lips back to his own and captured them in a bruising kiss. Brian swiftly rolled them over so that Justin was on top, straddling him. Sliding his hands under Justin's shirt, Brian caressed the length of his torso before sliding the shirt up his arms and over his head. Brian wrapped his arms around Justin's back and pulled him back down to him so that they were attached from groin to lips, legs entwined. Justin rolled his hips against Brian's, brushing their still covered groins together, causing a guttural moan to escape Brian's lips. Justin moved his lips from Brian's and trailed them across his jaw line to the soft, sensitive flesh of his neck. He tasted him with his tongue before gently nibbling on the soft flesh. Brian threw his head back to give Justin better access and lost himself in the sensations that the blond was creating. Justin moved his mouth lower to capture a taut nipple between his teeth, biting gently before laving it with his tongue. Brian tangled his fingers in Justin's hair, needing the blond to continue his oral assault. Justin's tongue continued its journey down Brian's body. Dragging the tip of his tongue down the line of Brian's belly in a feather light caress, Justin found the top of his pants and felt the man sigh. Taking his time, Justin licked from hip to hip along the waistband on the bands and he gently stroked Brian's erection through the soft fabric of his worn jeans. "Please…" Brian begged softly, achingly. Justin lifted his head from where he was licking and looked into Brian's eyes. They held eye contact as Justin unbuckled Brian's belt and quickly pulled it from it's loops and tossed it to the floor. Using quick, practiced fingers, Justin undid the brunet's pants and began kissing each bit of flesh that was revealed as he slowly lowered them. They still kept eye contact. Justin nuzzled against Brian's groin, still covered in the thin fabric of his briefs, and enjoyed the smell he'd come to know as Brian's mixed with the musky smell of arousal. Brian tossed his head back as Justin ran a finger over his straining length before running his tongue over it, moistening the fabric encasing it. "Justin…" Brian's moaned softly, pleadingly. Justin responded immediately to Brian's plea, quickly shedding Brian of his remaining clothes and going back to work on his cock. He licked around the head, teasing him, only for a moment before capturing it between his lips and sucking gently. When Brian moaned, Justin was desperate to hear it again. Opening his mouth wide, he pulled Brian's length in its entirety into his mouth and wrapped his lips around the base. "Jesus!" Brian hissed, digging his toes into the mattress. *~*~* Brian smiled lazily at Justin as the two of them lay, still wrapped in each other, in the afterglow of their intense lovemaking. Justin reached out and gently stroked his fingers through Brian's hair as Brian leaned his head into the touch. "Thank you." Brian whispered as his eyes fluttered closed and he drifted off to sleep. He was smiling slightly in his sleep and Justin couldn't keep his eyes off him. Justin stroked the older man's cheek a moment, watching him, memorizing him. He wondered if this would be the last time they would see each other. He hoped that it wouldn't, but something inside him told him that when he said goodbye he'd have to say all the things he wanted to, or else he might never get the chance. After several minutes of watching Brian sleep, filing every memory away, Justin slipped out of the bed and started getting dressed. Once he was fully dressed, he took one last regretful look at his lover and walked down the steps out of the bedroom. Finding some paper on the desk, Justin began writing down everything he wanted Brian to know, he knew that he couldn't have expressed everything verbally. After the letter was written, Justin slipped back into the bedroom and laid it on the pillow that he'd be lying on. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Brian's lips, biting back the tears, before slipping out of the room and out of the loft. The streets were dark and quiet and Justin decided to just walk for a while, he didn't feel like going back to the hotel and climbing into the bed he hadn't been able to sleep in since the night Brian left. He'd taken to sleeping on the couch, just so that when he closed his eyes he didn't remember all the things that he and Brian did in that bed. *~*~* Brian felt Justin kiss his lips softly and then he suddenly felt the emptiness in the room. He opened his eyes just as the door to the loft slid closed. He knew what had happened, had known what was happening as soon as Justin asked him to take him to the bedroom. He hadn't fallen asleep, he'd only given Justin his chance to leave. Once the door was firmly closed and he was sure that Justin wasn't coming back, Brian stepped out of the bedroom and walked to the window. He watched as Justin left the building and walked, shoulders slumped, into the night. It was hard to watch him leave, but he knew that it was something he had to do. Brian poured himself a Beam and went back to the bedroom to get the letter he'd seen on the pillow next to him after Justin left. Sipping his drink, he unfolded it and started to read. Brian, So I guess you figured out by now that I'm gone. Hoepfully you'll sleep through the night and I'll already be on my way back to LA as you read this. I really wish that things hadn't gone the way they did. I felt things for you that I'd never felt in my life. I'm not going to call it love or anything else because I don't think what I feel needs a label. I'm just going to tell you that it was different and more than I've ever felt for anyone. I kind of felt like you felt that way too. If you didn't, don't correct me. Just let me believe that you did. I had such an amazing time with you, Brian. Thank you so much for letting me into your life, even if it was only for a short time. Thank you for introducing me to Gus, he's the greatest kid I've ever met. He has a lot of his father in him. I know that we didn't know each other for long, it was actually a very short time, but I feel so intensely that it feels like a lifetime. I'm going back to LA and I don't know if life will bring me back to Pittsburgh any time soon or ever for that matter, so I don't know if we'll ever cross paths unless we decide we want to. I don't really know how you feel about that, so I'm going to give you my contact info. If ever you're sitting around thinking about me and you just want to talk, or know that I'm okay. You can contact me. If you don't, know that I'll be thinking of you and that I'll remember you. Sorry for being so cheesy, there was no other way to say what I needed to say. With all, Justin All of Justin's contact information was at the bottom of the page. Brian stared at the paper, unsure of how to react. Knowing that Justin's feelings for him were as strong as they were made him feel good, but knowing that Justin was really gone was hard for him. He didn't know whether he'd contact Justin. He didn't know if he was strong enough for it. "Maybe someday… When I'm a better person…" Brian sighed and finished his drink before going back into the bedroom and climbing into bed for yet another sleepless nigh alone. *~*~* Justin slipped into the suite just before sunrise. Ethan was already waiting for him and all of their luggage had been loaded into the SUV. "How'd it go?" Ethan asked, already knowing from the sad look on Justin's face that it was over. "Fine." Justin shrugged. He walked over to the table and grabbed his discman. "Can we just go? LaLaLand is calling." He slipped his headphones onto his ears, the sounds of an mp3 CD that Daphne had made him filling his ears. Looking for a way in It's a big step, when you fall in And every single touch says How you need it, can you feel me It comes on a whirlwind And it blows in, like a hurricane Till you wonder where you are And how you got so far I'll be with you When we go our separate ways You'll be with me When we go our separate ways I have to believe when you're fast asleep I'll still be the first one in your dreams 'Cause I'll be with you When we go our separate ways We had to find a way out For escaping, from the faking Put our open hearts up Not expecting they'd be taken You know that I will always Take you with me, when I don't know where to go You know that you will always be the answer To the questions I don't know I'll be with you When we go our separate ways You'll be with me When we go our separate ways Baby sometimes I get so excited The night that we met I was bursting inside We know that It must have been fate That we found it too late A special relationship died And I hate that night It was so good when It felt like it should Are the ones that we can't have again When times just get too tough And we've both had enough Maybe we'll find out That we're still in love Justin wondered what trick of fate had played that particular song at that particular moment. He listened to all the words as Ethan led him out of the hotel and into the SUV. Justin pressed repeat on the song, he figured that if he was going to be miserable he might as well have the song to keep him going, and closed his eyes. He lay his head back and sighed. Goodbye, Bri. The End. Previous Home Above lyrics are from Separate Ways by Jordan Knight