| "Holy shit." Justin Taylor breathed. He was standing at the corner of two very busy New York City streets near his office. He usually walked out here on his lunch break to grab a hotdog for lunch when he didn't have a meeting. Who he saw walking towards him, seeming to stand out in the crowd, was Brian Kinney, the love of his life. He and Brian had parted ways a few years earlier. Neither of them ready for the relationship that they were heading towards, they had decided to go their separate ways. Each kept tabs on the other through their mutual friends, but never spoke again after that day in Brian's loft...~ "That's everything." Justin said quietly as he closed the last box of his things. When they had decided, far too calmly, that it was time for Justin to move out and start his own life, it was like they had both died inside. "Where are you going to be staying?" Brian asked quietly. He wanted more than anything to fall to his knees and beg Justin not to leave him, to finally say the words that he had never said before, but he couldn't. "With Emmett for a while and then I'm not sure. Depends on what kind of job I can get after graduation." Justin shrugged. He wasn't sure when he and Brian had become so emotionless with each other. He wondered if they had hurt each other so many times that there were just no feelings there anymore. "If you need anything..." Brian stopped. He knew Justin would promise that if he needed anything, he would call. He also knew that he would never get that call. Justin nodded and walked to towards Brian. "Bye, Bri." he wrapped his arms around the man and they hugged for what seemed like an eternity but ended far too soon. Brian stood back and watched as Justin lifted that final box and walked out of the loft. For the last time. Once the door was closed, Justin turned and looked back. He wondered if this would be like the other times he had left. He wondered if he would be back. Something inside him urged him to run back in and try to fix things. But something else, something stronger, told him to leave. I'm going to turn and walk away You can wait till I am far along Then run and come and catch my arm And say you'd die if I were gone Brian sat down on the back of the couch and stared at the door as if Justin was still there. He thought of all the times he had watched Justin walk in that door, remembered how his world seemed to fill up as soon as Justin was there. Now there was a void, a big gaping hole in his life. ...~ What is he doing in New York? Justin asked himself. He was supposed to be in Pittsburgh living the high life, enjoying his life as the King Of Liberty Avenue. Emmett and Lindsay had both told him that Brian was back to being the guy he was before Justin came along. Somehow, that made Justin sad. Maybe it was because Brian had been so empty before he met him. "Justin!" April called out to him. She was his assistant. At 24, Justin was already the head of a branch of the art department at a major advertising agency. "What's the matter?" Justin asked. April knew where he always took his lunch but had never followed him. "I came to tell you before you found out from somewhere else." April tried to catch her breath. "Remember how H.R. announced that they had found a replacement for Dixon?" Justin nodded. "Well, I heard who he is this morning. It's Brian Kinney." Justin's heart seemed to fall down into his stomach. April knew all about his past relationship with Brian. One night, she and Justin had gone out to celebrate a national account that his work had landed the company and drank too much. Justin had spilled everything. "We're having a meeting this afternoon so that all of the managers and supervisors can meet him." April saw as more and more color fell from Justin's face. "In half an hour." Justin started to wonder if Brian knew that they would be seeing each other again and having to work closely on a regular basis. As the head of his department, Justin had always worked closely with Dixon and was sure that the same would happen with Brian. "Fuck." Justin breathed. "I haven't spoken to him in over three years." He had to take a seat on a bench, the thoughts in his head overtaking him. "What are you going to do, Justin?" April asked. The concern in her face was evident. "I'm going to go to that meeting and try to be as professional as possible. I'm an adult and I'm sure I can attend a meeting with my ex-lover just fine." Justin was saying the words more to convince himself than April. *.*.*.* "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you all to meet Brian Kinney." Mr. Davis, the CEO of the company, presented Brian to the group sitting around the conference table. Brian had just walked into the room with Davis and hadn't seen Justin yet. "Why don't you all introduce yourselves to Brian, he will be working with all of you quite closely." Brian took a moment to look around the table. He noted that it was a fairly young group and smiled. He preferred to work with younger people. When he saw the blonde head at the other end of the table sitting next to the pretty blonde, who reminded him of Cynthia, he did a double take. He had known that Justin was working in New York for an advertising firm, but he couldn't believe that they were going to be working for the same company. As everyone around the table stood and told Brian their name and position he tried his hardest to listen to them, but his attention kept floating back to his former lover sitting across the room. Whenever he looked over at Justin, the young man was whispering with the woman next to him. When it came time for him to stand, he obligingly did so. "I'm Justin Taylor. I'm the head of the digital arts department." Justin forced a smile before sitting down again. "This is my assistant April Lewis." After the meeting, Justin hurried back to his office instead of waiting to kiss the new boss's ass. He chuckled at the thought, he himself had done that more often, and more figuratively, than anyone in the office would believe. As he sat at his desk staring at the digital mock up for an ad for tea, he tried to figure out what Brian would say once they actually talked. "Mr. Taylor," April's voice came over the intercom. Justin knew that someone important was there to see him because she didn't use his first name. "Yes, April?" Justin replied. He started shaking and he knew that Brian was outside wanting to talk to him. "Mr. Kinney is here to see you." April spoke quickly, with a hint of warning in her voice that Brian picked up on. Obviously, the young assistant knew of his past with Justin. He found the thought interesting and wondered if Justin had just told her about him that day at the meeting. "Send him in." Justin kept his voice calm and confident though he was trembling inside. When the door opened he gasped. Brian hadn't aged a day since they were together. He was still lithe and fit. He was dressed to the nines. And he smiled. "Hi, Justin." Brian said as he sat down across from Justin and looked around the office. For a 24-year-old only 3 years out of college, the boy had done well for himself. "Hi, Bri." Justin said quietly. "This is a surprise." Brian looked at him then and regarded him curiously. "I always said I would move to New York someday." Brian shrugged. "When they offered me this job it was too prime to turn down." "I take it you didn't know I worked here." Justin speculated. "I didn't know." Brian confirmed. "You've done well for yourself." "I worked my ass off." Justin shrugged. "Well, it looks like we're going to be working together, so I had hoped that we could be friends." Brian was all business now, no more small talk. "Sure." Justin said without thinking. He wondered if Brian was going to want to pick up where they left off. "Good." Brian nodded. "We need to have a meeting tomorrow so that you can bring me up to speed about what's going on right now." "Sure." He buzzed April and told her to bring him his appointment book. Brian pressed his tongue against his cheek; he was seeing a whole new Justin. "You're free at ten and two." April said. "Mr. Kinney, when is best for you?" April was rather concerned about her boss as he sat behind his desk looking at Brian. "Two would be better." Brian said. He stood and excused himself. He needed to be alone to try and process what he was feeling after seeing Justin again after so long. Seeing his former lover had initially shocked him beyond words, but now the shock was wearing off and he wasn't sure what he was feeling. *.*.*.* Justin sat in his apartment later that night and thought about seeing Brian again. No matter what he had been doing in the last three years, Brian had always been in the back of his thoughts. Everything seemed to remind him of his time with Brian. For so long things had been wonderful, but at the end they had been more painful than Justin could express. When his phone rang, he reached over and picked it up. It was Daphne. She lived only 5 blocks from Justin and they were closer than ever. "Hey, Daph." "Wanna come out with us tonight? We're going to see Les Miserables." Daphne, now a successful lawyer, was always out and about with the cream of New York society. "Not tonight." Justin declined. "You'll never guess who moved to town and is working at the agency." "Brian?" Daphne guessed on the first try. She knew that Brian was the only person in the world that would cause this kind of response from her best friend. She also knew that in the last three years Justin had never met anyone who could hold a candle to Brian, flaws and all. "He just showed up and now everything is different." Justin was obviously very upset and Daphne offered to give up her theatre tickets to spend the evening with him. "No, you go ahead. I want to be alone for a while." "Call me if you need to talk." Daphne said before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. Justin sat in the apartment thinking about Brian and all the things that had led to the demise of their relationship. There were so many times that they argued and one of them left, but there was always the dramatic reunion. Their friends had even started taking bets on when they would get back together. In the weeks before Justin moved out, there was nothing there. The loft was always quiet, as were its tenants, and there was no emotions. They didn't fight. You couldn’t fight when there was only silence. It was cold, and Justin had decided he had to leave before he froze to death. It broke his heart to leave Brian, even when things were bad he loved him more than anything, and in his final months in Pittsburgh he had been a mess. Emmett had tried to take him out, but the one time that Justin went to Babylon with him he saw Brian dancing with a hot young guy and he never went back. After moving to New York City, things were different. Justin was different. He lived for his art. When he wasn't working, he was in his apartment painting. He met people through work but he found that nothing satisfied him and no one challenged him the way Brian had. After a year in New York, the pain of Brian had dulled and seldom did Justin think about him directly, but still he was always there. For Justin, it was like he had started with the best and there was no way to go down from that. He realized that he had been waiting for someone who could measure up, but was never letting anyone prove themselves to him because they just weren't Brian. He was wrapped up in his thoughts and barely heard the knock on he door. When he opened it, the object of his thoughts and his three years of angst stood there looking at him. Justin couldn't figure out the look on Brian's face, but decided that this wasn't a business visit. "Hi, Justin." Brian's voice was a little gravelly. "Hi." Justin opened the door a little wider as an invitation for Brian to come into his apartment. Justin was proud of his place. It was a big old apartment with beautiful hardwood floors and architecture that was hard to match. "Nice place." Brian commented as he looked around. The place, for some reason, reminded him of his loft. Justin stared at Brian, unable to find words. He had forgotten how beautiful Brian was. "We should talk." "Have a seat. Do you want some wine? Or tea?" Justin offered. "I'm fine." Brian sat on the couch and Justin sat across from him in one of the arm chairs. They simply stared at each other for several long moments. "What do you want to talk about?" Justin broke the silence. "It's probably going to be hard for us to work together." Brian began. "I would never have imagined that after all this time we would be in this situation." He looked nervous and fidgety. "We're going to have to try since I'm sure neither of us are willing to give up our jobs." Justin was doing his best to stay calm and handle the situation like a mature adult, though he felt like a vulnerable teenager. "I agree." Brian looked away for a moment and then turned back to Justin. "I missed you, Justin." He said with all the emotions that he had bottled up for the past three years. "Brian--" Justin wasn't sure what to say. He was afraid to admit that he had been feeling the same way, missing Brian every minute. "I understand, Justin." Brian said trying to let Justin off easily. "It's been a long time. You probably have the perfect relationship that you always wanted, that you deserve." "I'm single, Brian." Justin's voice was barely above a whisper. He wasn't sure where Brian was going. After thinking about it for a few seconds he realized that Brian needed him to be happy. He needed to know that he hadn't ruined the boy he once knew. "I never would have guessed that. Lindsay told me that you were happy out here. I figured you were happy because you met Mr. Right." Justin wanted to scream at him that he met "Mr. Right" a long time ago. Brian would always be his "Mr. Right" but for some reason, it had always been the wrong time. He wondered if he could love Brian the same way again, if Brian's sudden arrival in his world was going to break his heart again. "Do you have a boyfriend?" Justin asked. The look on Brian's face gave him all the answer he needed. Brian still didn't do relationships. Justin frowned. "Do you think we can work together and be ok?" Brian asked. He was pulling away from the personal questions because he was afraid of saying too much, of telling Justin about his anguish. "We're adults, Brian." Justin said simply. "Now, maybe you should get going." Justin saw a flicker of pain in Brian's eyes but did his best to ignore it. Once Brian was gone, he sat on the couch, still warm from Brian's body, and cried. He hadn't cried since before he had moved out of the loft. It seemed like a lifetime and for some reason, the tears and gasps helped him feel better. NEXT DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters... I just like to play with them... |
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| Part 1 : Love Is Loose, It Shifts Each Time You Move |