I Remember You

Part 5 : Wished Ever After Would Be Like This

Brian and Justin were sitting on the couch watching a movie as Gus slept soundly on Brian's bed. He had fallen asleep there not long after dinner and the boys had decided not to move him until they were ready for bed. Though the movie was playing on the big screen, both Brian and Justin were preoccupied with their thoughts.

     Justin thought of something one of his friends from school had asked him. He had been sitting in the quad when his friend, Darla, had come up to him and they began talking about a trip some of the students in his inspiration group were taking. It was a weekend trip to New York to see some museums and small galleries. She wondered if he would come. He said he would think about it. She then asked him if he was going to be moving back into the dorms soon. He hadn't really thought about it. For over three months he had been living at the loft with Brian, only stopping at the dorm to check in with his roommate and get his mail.

    After Darla's question, and his lack of an answer to it he wondered if Brian wanted him to stay or move back into the dorms full time. He knew that it was time to make a decision because there were hundreds of people on the waiting list. Justin knew that Brian liked having him around, but wasn't sure if he wanted to take the serious step of them moving in together again. They both knew what a disaster it had been the last time.

     Things are different this time, he told himself. And things were different now. Brian almost never hooked up with tricks, and when he did he never mentioned it or acted differently. He was extremely attentive to his young lover, but not so much that it felt awkward. He always seemed to like when he and Justin went out to the clubs and was easily affectionate when they were in public. The buzz on Liberty Avenue was that the former King of Babylon had snagged the one man that no one thought was snaggable.

    Brian's thoughts as he held his baby on his lap were of a different nature. It had been over a month since he had realized that he loved Justin and, though he said them every night after Justin was fast asleep, he had yet to say the words to Justin's face. He knew he had to make it special, Justin deserved it to be special. He was wracking his brains for plans to make it perfect. There was one thing Cynthia had mentioned in passing that he was trying to decide on, but he wasn't yet sure.

    Neither Brian nor Justin knew that the other was caught in his own thoughts as the images on the screen played. Each thought that the other was intently watching the movie. They were roused from their thoughts when Gus woke from his nap.

    "Daddy! Me thirsty!" Gus called as he toddled out of the bedroom rubbing his eyes. As Brian got up and picked Gus up, Justin reached for his sketchpad. The image of Gus rubbing his eyes was too adorable for him to pass up the chance to draw.

    "Juice?" Brian asked Gus as he sat him on the counter and kissed his fingertips.

    "Juice." Gus said. "Me want pink juice." He said with a smile. He loved staying with his daddy and Jussy. Brian poured the juice into Gus's cup and snapped on the lid. Gus was reaching for it and Brian had to reach out and catch him before he slipped off the counter.

    Justin was sketching furiously on the couch while the image of Gus standing at the top of the stairs to Brian's bedroom sleepily was still fresh in his mind. When Gus jumped on his lap he laughed and set his sketchbook on the coffee table before hugging Gus close to him.

    "Hey, Gus. Are you gunna come watch a movie with us?" Justin asked with a smile. Gus started bouncing on his lap and flailing his arms in the air.

    "Gus movie! Gus movie!" He exclaimed. He kept bouncing and accidentally smacked Justin in the face with his arm. "Jussy! He exclaimed. He knew that hitting was bad and swiftly kissed the spot sloppily on Justin's head where his hand had connected.

    "Thank you for kissing me better, Gus." Justin said. "I think we can watch the Gus movie, but ask your daddy." He pressed a kiss to Gus's cheek.

    "Ask your daddy what?" Brian asked as he returned to the living room.

    Gus jumped off Justin's lap and walked over to his daddy. He looked up at Brian with the doe eyes he had learned got him everything he wanted. "Daddy, Gus movie?" He asked sweetly.

    "Sure, Gus Gus." Brian said with a laugh. His son had become addicted to Cinderella the moment he heard his name in the movie.

    "Gus movie! Gus movie!" He exclaimed jumping up and down.

     "Are you sure we have to do this?" Brian grimaced as he walked up to Chuck E. Cheese with Gus on his shoulders and Justin's hand in his.

     "Brian, Gus loves it here." Justin reminded him. Justin had to admit, he was a little nervous about Brian spending an afternoon at the family fun center.

     "What is it with my kid and some giant rat?" Brian asked.

     "It's a mouse, Brian." Justin laughed.

     "He likes toys. Can't we take him to a toy store and buy him everything he wants?" Brian paused at the entrance hoping Justin wasn't really going to make him go inside.

     "Let's see, screaming kids who want every toy that their parents won't buy them or happy kids who get to eat pizza and spend an afternoon with a giant mouse? Hmmm, hard." Justin said sarcastically, pulling Brian into the building.

     "You're right. Bring on the pizza and the mouse." Brian said. "But I expect to be compensated fully once Linds and Melanie get back."

     "I promise." Justin said with a laugh.

     "Gus, are you ready to see Chuck E. Cheese?" Brian asked with a smile.

     "Chuck E. Cheese! Chuck E. Cheese!" Gus exclaimed as he bounced up and down on Brian's back. He had developed a thing for chanting and bouncing, no matter where he was.

... Three Hours Later...

    "Why did we go there again?" Brian asked as they pulled out of the Chuck E. Cheese parking lot. Gus was sound asleep in his child seat and Justin, having actually enjoyed the afternoon, was smiling.

    "Gus. He loved it. I've never seen him smile so much, and he's a happy happy kid on a normal day." Justin said with a laugh. "Tomorrow we can take him somewhere quieter."

    "Or we could just stay in the loft and let him watch the entire Disney Princess collection on DVD that Lindsay brought over. She says he loves those and it'll keep him quiet for at least a few hours." Brian said dryly. He really did have a good time but couldn't drop the facade of having hated it. He had, however, gotten a little angry at the looks he and Justin had been getting from all the straight parents.

    "We'll see what Gus wants to do. How about that?" Justin asked. "Linds and Mel will be back tomorrow night."

    "And then I have you all to myself right?" Brian asked hopefully.

    "Well, I promised, didn't I?" Justin replied.

    "Good." Brian said making a decision. "I'm going to drop you and Gus off at the loft and go run a couple or errands, ok?"

    "K. I'm sure you need a break after the day you've had." He leaned over and kissed his lover on the cheek. "Tonight we can take him to Deb's. She offered to give us a couple of hours off to go and unwind."

    "She's an angel." Brian said dramatically. He pulled up in front of the loft and kissed Justin swiftly before he lifted Gus's car seat out and carried him into the building. "I won't be long!" Brian called before the door to the building closed. "There's only one place I have to go." He said to himself with a small smile.

     "Deb, have I told you lately that you are a beautiful, generous, and amazing woman?" Brian asked as he kissed Deb on her temple after she set Gus up with a movie in front of the TV.

     "Not lately." Deb said. She really liked the Brian that she had been seeing lately. The one who was madly in love with Justin. "What time will you two be back?"

     Brian looked at the clock on the VCR. "Probably about ten?" He suggested. "I was thinking we would go out for dinner and then meet the boys for a drink at Woody's."

     "Ten is just fine, Brian." Debbie put her arm around Brian's waist and squeezed lightly. She was extremely proud of him. She never thought she'd see the day that Brian Kinney grew up.

     "See you later, Deb. Vic." He said before slipping out the front door to join Justin in the Jeep. When he climbed in the driver's seat he leaned over and kissed Justin before driving off down the street towards a delicious Vietnamese restaurant he had recently discovered.

     "We going for Vietnamese?" Justin asked.

     "Sure are. And I told the guys we'd meet them for a drink at Woody's after. But we have to be back at Deb's by ten or Gus will turn into a pumpkin." Brian said with a laugh. Justin could tell he was in a goofy mood again and was pleased.

     "We've been watching too much Gus movie." Justin slipped his hand into Brian's as they drove. Though neither of them said it, they were turning into a full-fledged couple. Quiet dinners, evenings at home, hand holding.... it was all leading to a place Brian had never thought he would go but was starting to look forward to. Sometimes he found himself thinking, are we there yet? like a little child on a road trip.

     When they reached the restaurant, they climbed out of the Jeep and met in the middle. They clasped their hands and walked into the restaurant. Holding hands was a reflex for both of them these days. It made them feel connected and safe when they were together.

     "Mr. Kinney, Mr. Taylor. " The thin Vietnamese waitress said. "We seem to be seeing the two of you a lot lately." And she was right, Brian had been taking Justin their at least twice a week for the last three weeks.

     "What can I say? I'm having an intimate relationship with the spring rolls." Brian said. "And this one here loves those fried thingy’s. The Imperial rolls. You'd better not get all fat from all that fried food."

     "You're just jealous cuz you can't eat all the greasy yummy foods at your age or you'll start to look like Drew Carey." Justin said. Brian playfully glared at him but started laughing.

     "Should I get you guys the regular?" The waitress asked.

     "You sure should." Brian said. He reached across the table and took Justin's hand as the waitress made her way back to the kitchen.

     "This is nice."

      "What, the peace and quiet?" Brian asked referring to their afternoon with screaming children and a giant mouse.

     "No. Just being here. With you." Justin said. Brian just smiled.

     Over dinner they talked about Brian's work and Justin's school. Their conversations these days were in depth and animated. It was like they were trying to learn everything about each other that they never knew. They shared all the funny stories of things they had experienced. Justin, especially, loved hearing about things Brian had experienced because he felt like Brian was finally letting him in and he was learning the things that he had always wanted to know.

     "You ready?" Brian asked after they had finished their dinner and their wine and Brian had taken care of the bill. "The guys will be waiting for us."

     "Yeah." Justin slipped his coat on and the two of them left the restaurant, once again, holding hands.


      "So he comes up to me and says 'Hey, you wanna come back to my bat cave?" Michael had everyone laughing as he regaled them with stories about the comic book conference he had attended in New York the previous week. About a year earlier, Michael had taken some money he had saved and bought a comic book store. It was his dream job.

      "What did you say?" Emmett asked with a laugh.

      "I told him that my boyfriend is enough of a superhero for me, but if we ever broke up I would send him a signal with the bat light." Michael laughed and laughed. He had everyone in stitches, including Brian.

      "I am so glad there wasn't any real competition out there." Mac said. He and Michael were closer than ever and tossing around the idea of moving in together. Neither of them were really pushing it, but both were just tossing around the idea.

     "At a comic book convention?" Brian asked. "Unless Mikey is looking for some scrawny little comic nerd, I think you're in the clear."

     "Why, Brian, I think that's the best compliment you've ever given me." Mac jokingly pressed his hand to his heart.

     "Don't get used to it." Brian said with a smile. Mac was quickly becoming a part of the group, kind of the way Justin had, and Brian was glad that it was Mac and not another guy like David that Michael was getting serious with. Mac was always respectful of Michael and never took him for granted.

     "Never!" Mac said. "We all know that kind words coming out of the great and powerful Kinney's mouth are few and far between."

     "Unless they're directed at our baby here." Emmett said smiling. He put an arm around Justin and waiting for Brian's warning.

     "Emmett." Brian said warningly, the way he always did when Emmett, who found this quite amusing, got too close to his Boy Wonder. Emmett laughed and pulled his arm off Justin and winked.

     "How about a drink on me?" Ted offered. He was happy because his new job was working out really well and wanted to celebrate with his friends.

     "You got it, Teddy." Emmett said. With a flourish of his arm, he called a waiter over and the guys all ordered the drinks they wanted. The guys all sat around and chatted about what was going on in their lives.

     "So, Bri, I hear you spent the afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese." Michael said with a laugh. Justin had told him about their afternoon when he called the loft to ask them to come to Woody's.

     "It was hell. A million screaming children, greasy pizza, and a giant stuffed mouse." Brian said drolly. "Remind me never to let Justin talk me into any of these excursions again."

     "He loved it." Justin mouthed the words and everyone laughed. Brian turned and looked and Justin wondering what he missed. "You have more fun than Gus did. You guys should have seen him taking Gus in the ball pit, and helping him play the games."

      "I like him!" Mac said with a laugh.

      "You have Mikey. Leave Justin alone." Brian said pulling Justin closer to him. Justin snuggled into Brian's arms proving that it was, by far, his favorite place to be.

      "Yeah, you have me." Mikey said with a smile. Mac leaned over and kissed him.

      "I would never risk the wrath of Brian Kinney by not only trying to steal him man, but hurting his best friend in the process. I may not be a rocket scientist, but I'm not colossally stupid. Besides, I go for the adorable comic-loving types." Mac pinched Michael who started to giggle uncontrollably.

      "Well, guys, it's quarter to ten. We should go relieve Deb of her babysitting duties and get the child to bed." Brian said. "And it's passed Gus's bed time too." Justin slapped him in the arm.

      "Bye, you two." Everyone said in chorus making Brian turn and raise an eyebrow at them.

      "That was just frightening." He said. "See you guys later." He slipped his hand into Justin's and they walked out of the bar.

      "He was an angel, as usual." Justin told Lindsay and Melanie when they came to pick up Gus after their relaxing weekend in the country.

      "He is my son after all!" Brian called from the bedroom as he finished packing all of Gus's things up in his bag. He lifted Gus off the bed and carried him into the living room. Lindsay, who still hated being away from her son for more than a few hours, ran over to him and hugged him as soon as Brian set his feet on the floor.

     "Hi, Sweetie." She said pressing kisses all over his face. "How did you enjoy your weekend with Daddy and Justin?"

     "Chuck E. Cheese!" Gus exclaimed flailing his arms in the air. "Daddy go in the balls with me!" He was squealing as he went on to tell about his night at Nana Debbie's house, and Daddy and Jussy playing with him in the afternoon.

     "You took him to Chuck E. Cheese?" Melanie asked Brian in disbelief. She had barely survived the last time she and Lindsay took Gus there. She had no idea how Brian did it. "How many dead children are we going to be reading about in the newspaper?"

     "None. Brian was very well behaved." Justin said. Lindsay and Melanie both stared at Brian who was just grinning at them.

     "Who are you and what have you done with Brian Kinney?" Lindsay asked. She was secretly thrilled at hearing this. It meant that she was right about Justin being a good influence on Brian.

     "I killed him. Threw him in the river." Brian said with a smile. He kissed Lindsay on the cheek and then kissed Melanie. "Now, you guys better leave. Justin promised me a special treat tonight."

     "So that's why you behaved!" Melanie exclaimed. "He lied. This is the real Brian Kinney, just wearing a nice guy mask." She lifted up Gus's bag.

     "Byebye, Sonny Boy. Be good for your mommies." Brian kissed Gus.

     "Byebye, Daddy!" Gus said throwing his arms around Brian and giving him a sloppy kiss in return. He then turned to Justin and did the same. "Byebye, Jussy."

     "Byebye, Gus Gus." Justin said as Lindsay and Melanie took Gus out of the loft. "Bye, Linds. Bye, Mel." Justin said before sliding the door to the loft shut.

      "Morning," Justin said when he woke to find Brian dressing for work. "You should call in sick and come back to bed." Justin groaned. He and Brian had been up until 4am making a mess of the loft while they indulged themselves in a night of passion.

      "Can't. Big meeting today. If I land this account they might promote me to partner." Brian tightened his tie. "I'm meeting Cynthia for coffee down the street to get my head on straight before the meeting."

     "Still want me to come over tonight?" Justin asked as he finally sat up in bed.

     "Come over?" Brian asked. "I thought..." Brian stopped. "Yeah, come over tonight." He leaned over and kissed Justin softly on the lips.

     "Good luck, Bri." Justin said as Brian grabbed his briefcase and hurried out of the loft. Justin heard the door slam and then slide open again. Brian ran into the bedroom and kissed Justin again.

     "Thanks, baby. I'll see you tonight." He said before hurrying out again.

     Justin lay back on the bed and though about Brian's reaction to him asking about coming over. He had acted like it shouldn't even have been an issue. Did Brian want him to move in? Did Brian assume that it was already decided without saying the words? Had he just ruined everything by asking about coming over?

     "Congratulations, Partner." Marty Ryder said shaking Brian's hand. It had been two hours since the papers had been signed. The account he had landed that morning was going to be one of the biggest accounts the firm had ever had. The client had specifically asked that it be put in the contract that Brian head up the team on their account.

     "Thanks, Marty." Brian said. He was thrilled to be made a partner, but downplayed it of course. He didn't want anyone at work to think he had gone soft. In truth, he couldn't wait to get home to Justin and celebrate. He had decided that tonight was the night. Tonight he would say the words out loud, while Justin was awake.

     When Brian pulled up in front of the loft, after having an obligatory celebration drink with several of the people from the agency, he saw Justin's car parked outside. He smiled. It was only now, after the pressure of the meeting and the partnership were off that he thought about Justin's question that morning.

     "Still want me to come over tonight?" He had asked. What did that mean? He had been living there for months. Brian had just assumed that Justin had moved it. More and more of his stuff had migrated from the dorm to Brian's loft; he thought that the rest would come at the end of the school year.

     He started doubting his decision to take that final leap with Justin. What if he didn't feel the same? What if he wanted to move back to the dorms and fool around like other 20-year-old guys? Brian looked into the gift bag that he had stashed in his glove box and he knew that he was doing the right thing.

    "Justin!" He called when he walked into the loft. He looked around. There were candles everywhere, the smell of cloves and garlic wafted into his nostrils, and he could see Justin in the kitchen stirring a pot on the stove. "What's all this?" He asked.

    "Cynthia called. Congratulations, Partner." Justin said opening his arms and pulling Brian into a hug. "I'm so proud of you."

    "I'm pretty damn proud of myself." Brian was happy that he had Justin to share this with. Without him, it wouldn't feel as good. "What's for dinner?"

    "Chicken. It's baking right now." Justin replied. Brian took his hand and led him to the couch. "What's up?" Justin asked. Brian didn't answer, he just made Justin sit down on the couch. "Brian!" Justin giggled at Brian's seriousness.

     "Are you going to move in or what?" Brian asked bluntly.

     "What!?!" Justin exclaimed. Not because he was surprised by the question, but because he was surprised by the manner in which Brian asked.

     "Are you going to let some other poor sap who's paying far too much in rent at some dingy apartment have your dorm? Or are you going to stay in the dorm and be far, far away from me?" Brian asked, this time he was more cute and sweet.

     "You want me to move in?" Justin asked.

     "Well, you haven't slept in the dorm at all in the last few months. You've basically been living here anyways. Let's make it official." Brian said. "Let's move your stuff in and finally be able to call this Our loft."

     "Yes!" Justin exclaimed. "I will move in!" He jumped up and hugged Brian. Brian hugged him briefly and the gently urged him to sit back down. Justin did as Brian wanted.

     "I need to say something, Justin. And you can't interrupt me. OK?" Justin nodded. "When I met you three years ago you were a nuisance. But I still couldn't resist you. And then I realized that I actually liked you. Not only in bed, but I liked having you around, dancing with you at Babylon, just talking to you. There was something about you. When I finally resigned myself to the fact that we were in a relationship it scared the shit out of me. When you moved in here the first time I felt trapped. I, Brian Kinney, had a live in lover. So then I started doing things to screw it up. I guess I wanted you to leave me so I could hate you.

     "For a while I thought I actually did hate you. Whenever Emmett or Lindsay would mention that they talked to you I would tell them to shut up. That I was just glad you were finally gone. Neither of them believed me. Lindsay knows me better than anyone, even Michael. And Emmett has a sort of intuition when it comes to how people are feeling. Anyways, they kept talking about you. And that was when I started to realize that I didn't hate you. I missed you. God, I missed you more than anything." Brian reached out to take Justin's hand before continuing.

     "When you came to Gus's party with Galen I was furious. There I was missing you so much and you were flaunting the person who took my place. I was about to leave the party when I saw those bruises. I was back there in that parking garage on the night of your prom. Except this time, there was something I could do.

     "I brought you back here because I wanted nothing more than for you to be mine again. I tried to give you time to heal. To feel safe. And when I felt you were ready I asked you to come out to Woody's. I had to see if things could be the same again. But they weren't. Because this time I realized...." he cleared his throat. "I realized that I love you."

     Justin's eyes, which had been brimming with tears, now spilled over and he sniffled. These words were what he had been waiting three years to hear and now he really was hearing them. For some time now he had been dreaming that Brian said it to him, and now that dream had come true.

      "I got you something." Brian said putting the gift bag on Justin's lap. Justin wiped at a tear before gingerly opening the bag. He gasped when he saw the rings inside. They were both a beautiful, thick white gold band with a Claddagh pattern on it.

     "Oh, Brian." He breathed. He looked on the inside of each ring. In the one that Brian pointed to and indicated as the one he wanted Justin to wear it said. "Us. Forever. Brian." And on the other it said "Justin. My heart."

     Justin slipped the ring on his finger and picked the other up to slide it on Brian's finger. "Are you sure?" He asked. Brian smiled and nodded. Justin returned the smile and slipped the ring onto Brian's hand. "Tell me again."

     "I love you, baby." Brian said before leaning in to seal it with a kiss. In the middle of the kiss, Justin pulled away.

     "Wait! I love you too!" He exclaimed. He then pulled Brian back to him. "Ok, continue." They resumed what was their most passionate kiss. Before retiring to the bedroom, Justin turned off the oven. He was fairly confident that neither he nor Brian were going to want to eat the chicken any time soon.

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