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| Part 4 : Love Letters In The Sand |
| "Honey! I'm home!" Brian called teasingly as he walked into the loft after work. All day he had thought about coming home to Justin who had promised to prepare a nice dinner for them to share before heading out to Babylon with the boys. In the past several weeks while Justin had been staying at the loft, the two had fallen into a comfortable routine that both of them really enjoyed. Justin would go to school and then come home to the loft where he would work on his homework and then start on dinner or order in. When Brian got home they would eat together and talk about their days. Justin liked to hear about Brian's campaigns and would often offer his artistic opinion. Brian would always listen with interest to Justin's stories about school. After dinner they would take care of the dishes together and then they would either go out with the guys or they would just stay in and hang out. They both loved their time together. Justin was really starting to feel comfortable and confident about himself. He wasn't scared anymore either. But there were moments, just like today, when got scared. "Brian! You're early!" Justin's heart started beating fast. "I got caught up in my homework and I haven't started dinner. I'll start right now." He ran into the kitchen and started putting dinner together. Brian saw the look on Justin's face and became worried. When he heard Justin drop a pot in the kitchen, he hurried in. "I'm sorry, Brian! I'll try harder next time." Brian walked over and Justin pulled back a little. "Baby, it's okay." His voice was barely a whisper. "Don't be scared of me." He gently put his arms around Justin and held him until he felt him relax. "Sometimes I forget that I'm not still there and that you won't hurt me." Justin felt tears well up in his eyes and he pulled Brian back against him and held him close. "I'm so lucky to have you." "Oh, baby." Brian kissed the top of Justin's head and kept holding him. He hated when he saw the flashes of fear in Justin's eyes, they made him want to find Galen and show him what it was like to get the crap kicked out of you. He wished that Justin hadn't chosen to drop the assault charges against Galen. *** Brian sat on the couch after Justin fell asleep thinking about the events of the last year. He didn't know how he had survived all those months without Justin. He now admitted to himself that while he had survived, he hadn't really lived. Sure, there were other tricks, like there had been before Justin, but none of them even began to fill the void. Brian had to admit that, with Justin, it hadn't been only about sex. Not since that first night. Maybe not even on that first night. He wondered if he did know on that first night that Justin wasn't like all the others. Was there something in his eyes even when he saw him standing under the light of the street light, the evening fog gathering around his ankles? Was it that this sweet, innocent, beautiful man trusted him enough to come home with him and give up his virginity? Do I love him? Brian asked himself. Can I love him? Am I capable of it? Do I even believe in in? Can I give up tricking for good and just be with Justin? Brian was wracked with all these questions and he wondered if he would ever find the answers. Or if maybe, just maybe, the answers were already there and he was just too scared to see it. "Baby, it's time for bed." Brian whispered in his young lovers ear. Justin just moaned and cuddled closer to Brian. Brian lifted Justin off the couch and carried him to bed. Once they were both snuggled peacefully into bed, Brian took a deep breath and said the words for the first time. "I love you, Justin. I love you so much." And to his surprise, it felt right. With Justin, everything felt right. *** "Justin." A familiar voice made Justin jump up off the bench he was sitting on sketching on campus. He turned and Galen stood there smiling at him. To Justin, he looked like another person. He looked like the person Justin had first met. "Hi." Galen said. He looked nervous. "Galen, go away." Justin said and turned to walk away. Before he could even get five feet away Galen grabbed his arm and swung him around. "Let me go, Galen." Justin said keeping his voice controlled. "Justin, I'm so sorry about what happened. My life has no meaning without you." Tears came to Galen's eyes as he plead his case to his former lover. "Well, life without meaning?" Justin almost laughed. "I'm sure you'll find someone else to smack around to give your life meaning." "He turned you against me, didn't he? That Brian Kinney. He was always between us." Galen exploded. Justin saw the familiar flare of rage in Galen's eyes, but this time Galen didn't scare him. "Brian Kinney is ten times the man you'll ever be!" Justin returned. "And I didn't need him to turn against you, you did that all on your own." "Justin!" Galen didn't know what to do. Justin had never came back at him with something like that. He could do nothing but stand there while Justin turned and walked away calmly, head held high. "It's over." Justin said to himself. He smiled to himself. Now he knew that he was stronger than Galen, and even he himself, had thought. He broke the cycle, he stood up for himself. He was one of the few. *** "How's Justin doing?" Lindsay asked as she watched Gus eat his spaghetti. His face was completely covered in red sauce. Brian laughed at the look on his son's face as he enjoyed his dinner. "He's doing really well. In no time he'll be the Justin we all knew and loved." Brian said before he realized what was coming out of his mouth. As soon as he realized that the word love had come out of his mouth his eyes snapped up to Lindsay’s face to see if she had noticed. She had. "Love?" She said in that way that only Lindsay could, her eyebrows raised. "So you're finally admitting it?" "Well, he's a good kid." Brian tried to shrug it off. He wasn't ready to admit that he loved Justin to someone else before he admitted it to Justin himself. "You haven't told him yet, have you?" Brian realized that Lindsay knew him even better than he thought. He looked up at her and shook his head. "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me." She smiled and leaned over to kiss Brian lightly. "So, how's Mel?" Brian asked desperate to change the subject. "She's well." Lindsay said with a smile. "She got a big case at work so she isn't as much as usual, but she should be done in about a month and then we were thinking of taking a little vacation?" "You need a babysitter?" Brian asked with a laugh. "It'll only be for the weekend." She said. "We'll do it." Brian said. "We?" Back was that same Lindsay tone and the raised eyebrow. Brian looked at her warningly and she only smiled. "Thanks, Brian." "Well, Sonny Boy hasn't come for a sleepover in a while." He smiled and looked at his spaghetti-covered son. "Right, Gus?" "Gus, do you want to spend a weekend with Daddy and Justin?" Lindsay asked. "Yay!" Gus clapped his hands together sending sauce flying in all directions. "Daddy and Justin." "Well, I guess that's an answer." Brian said with a smirk. Lindsay grinned. Now she knew what Brian was like when he was in love. He didn't even notice the spaghetti sauce that was sitting on his red silk tie. *** "Have I told you lately that it's good to have you back?" Emmett asked Justin that night at Babylon as they stood by the bar watching Brian, Michael, and Mac out on the dance floor. "Em, you tell me that every time I come out with you guys." Justin laughed. Emmett threw and arm around Justin casually until he saw the look Brian shot him from the dance floor after seeing the movement. "He loves you, kiddo." Emmett said with a little laugh. "I've never seen him before like he is now. With you." "I know he loves me. I'm just waiting for him to know." Justin said. He set down his empty beer bottle. "Let's go join them on the dance floor." "You got it, honey." Emmett said. "I wanna try out my new move anyways. The Buddha." He took Justin's hand and they joined the guys on the dance floor. Brian grabbed the front of Justin's shirt and pulled him close. "This is where you belong." He said into Justin's ear before pulling him close for a sweet kiss. They danced close like that all night. And Justin knew. He knew that this was where he belonged. He had no intention of being anywhere else. NEXT |