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| “I don’t want us to be over again.” The reality of what Brian was saying hit Justin suddenly and he wasn’t sure how to react. “Bri…” Justin wasn’t sure how to react to Brian’s honest admission. “Don’t worry. I understand.” Brian said softly. “I just wanted you to know that it’s all still there, even after all this time.” Brian turned to walk back into the house, but Justin caught his arm. “Don’t walk away again.” Justin said quietly. Brian turned and looked at him. “The last time it almost killed me.” “Justin…” Whatever Brian was about to say was silenced by Justin’s lips on his. The kiss was filled with all of the passion, and love, and anger, and need that had built up over five years… Five years since that last night…. ~ Five Years Earlier ~ Brian Kinney had a decision to make. And it was a big one. “Hey.” Justin smiled as he looked up at Brian from the desk in the corner of the loft. He was working on some graphics for a very important project he was doing. “Hey.” Brian grumbled walking into the bedroom and stripping his suit and tie off. Before deciding what he wanted to change into, he fell onto the bed and closed his eyes. “Bri.” Justin’s voice came from the doorway. Reluctantly, Brian opened his eyes and looked at his lover. He wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something about Justin that made him soften. “What?” “Are you thinking of selling the loft?” “What?” “One of my mom’s friends said that a great loft was about to come on the market… She said it was at this address.” Justin seemed more than a little troubled. “Oh.” Brian wasn’t sure how he was going to tell Justin what had transpired in the past few days. “Uhhh…” “It wasn’t a rumor?” Justin was confused. “Did you find another place?” “Justin, we need to talk.” Brian said softly. “Uh oh. That doesn’t sound good.” The younger man replied as he walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, far from Brian. “Ryder asked me to head a western branch of the firm.” Brian avoided looking into Justin’s eyes. When he was planning to move to New York he had seen the emptiness in Justin's eyes, he never wanted to see that again. “You’re leaving?” Justin’s voice was flat, emotion had yet to hit him. “This is the opportunity of a lifetime.” Brian’s explanation seemed to weak to a heartbroken Justin. “When were you going to tell me?” “Soon.” The older man sounded like he was trying to convince himself as well as his lover. “And you didn’t want to bring me?” “Justin…” “So I guess you’ll go away and you’ll forget.” Justin kept his eyes on the floor, unwilling to show all of the emotion he was feeling. “We both knew that this couldn’t last forever.” Brian lied convincingly. He had truly believed that he and Justin could and would last forever. “Yah, I guess we did.” Justin said angrily. He stood and started throwing clothes into a duffle bag. “What the fuck are you doing?” Brian asked. “Pardon me if I don’t want to sit here and wait for you to leave me.” Justin blinked back the tears in his eyes. “I’m not the kid you met three years ago, I’m not going to devalue myself by holding out for any scrap of your time that I can get.” Justin’s words stung and Brian turned away. “When are you leaving?” Justin asked as he zipped the bag. “In a few weeks.” Brian replied. “I’ll come and pick up the rest of my stuff sometime this week while you’re at work.” Justin said, finally lifting his eyes to meet his lover’s. “I wish you all the happiness in the world, Brian.” As the younger man turned to leave the loft, Brian let out a strangled cry. “Justin!” The young man turned, but when Brian didn’t speak again, he left the loft. For the last time. Before he could leave the building, Justin sank to the floor outside the loft and pressed his hand to the door. “I love you, Brian.” He whispered sadly, finally allowing the tears that had been building in his eyes to flow. Unbeknownst to him, on the other side of the door, Brian sat in a heap on the floor with his hand pressed to the door so that if the door wasn’t there, they would have been touching. ~ “You have to go?” Lindsay asked Brian as he threw the last of his clothes into his suitcase. “I have to get back to work.” He replied. “The place will fall apart if I stay away for too long.” He zipped the suitcase closed and placed it on the floor. “What about Justin? I saw you two kissing outside Debbie’s today.” Lindsay said knowingly. “Linds.” Brian’s tone held a warning that Lindsay chose to ignore. “Was it just a slip? Are you both going to leave again and try to forget each other again?” Lindsay knew that Brian, not for lack of trying not to, still loved Justin very much. “No.” Brian said firmly. He and Justin hadn’t talked about it, but he was sure they’d be keeping in touch and, hopefully, something would happen with them again. “Is that all you’re going to tell me?” “Yes.” Brian replied. “I’ll be back in a couple of months to visit Gus. And I was thinking that you could maybe send him up to visit me this summer.” “We’ll talk about it.” She replied. “I have a plane to catch.” He said. She walked him out to the taxi that was waiting. “It was good seeing you, Linds.” He said with a smile before kissing her cheek and getting into the taxi. As the driver pulled away, Lindsay watched after the car. “Good luck, Bri.” She said quietly before turning and walking away. **** “Are you going to be okay, Deb?” Justin asked. He was leaving to head back to Toronto and had stopped by the Novotny house to say good-bye. “I’ll be fine. Stop fussing.” Debbie groaned. “I’ll call you in a few days.” Justin promised. “Ok… Now shoo.” She swatted his butt. “And Justin?” “Yeah?” “Tell Brian that I’m pissed that he didn’t say good-bye.” Debbie had a knowing grin on her face and Justin was sure that someone had seen the kiss in the backyard and the news had traveled. “What makes you think I’m going to talk to Brian?” Justin played the innocent. Debbie raised an eyebrow. “You little shit.” She said with a smile, realizing what he was doing. Justin smiled and left the house without another word. It looked, to him, like there was going to be a lot of fuss from their friends over his and Brian’s new non-relationship. NEXT |
| Part 2 |