"Hello." Brian answered when Justin buzzed.
"It's Justin. I'm downstairs." He replied.
"Come on up. Apartment 409." Brian said before buzzing Justin into his building. Daphne had gone out on her date with Mr. Wonderful and Brian hoped that she would be late so that he could spend some time alone with Justin.
Brian already had the door open when Justin walked up to it. He smiled and let Justin in. They made their way to the living room and sat down. "So, uhm, did you want to order food now?" Brian asked.
"Not yet. I'm not really hungry... unless you're hungry... I, uhm, brought some dessert. Do you like brownies?" Justin was extremely nervous.
"Love 'em." Brian replied with a smile. "We can order pizza after the movie if you want. Do you want something to drink?"
"A beer?" Justin asked.
"Sure, I'll be right back." Brian said as he disappeared into the kitchen. He was nervous and he knew that Justin was too. He hoped that everything went well with the evening. He grabbed two beers and a glass in case Justin didn't want to drink out of the bottle and made his way out to the livingroom where Justin was sitting on the couch fidgeting with his fingers.
"Here you go." Brian said, handing the younger man the bottle before sitting down next to him on the couch. "Uhm, I got a couple of videos after I dropped Mikey off. I didn't know what you like, so..." Brian grabbed the stack of three videos and handed them to Justin.
"Ooh, this one!" Justin seemed to loosen up when he saw that Brian had rented one of his favorites, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. "This movie rocks!" Brian chuckled.
"I have to agree. Did you want to start it now, or did you want to talk for a bit?" He asked. He noticed a change in Justin as soon as he said it. The boy seemed confused.
"Uhm, sure, we can talk." He replied, a little shaken. He hadn't imagined Brian wanting to really sit down and talk in any of the scenarios for the evening that he'd played out in his head. "What... uh... What do you want to talk about?"
"You know, I don't even know what you're taking." Brian said, taking a sip of his beer and leaning back on the couch, getting comfortable. Daphne had told him that he and Justin needed to get to know each other and he planned to do just that.
"I'm an art student. Ultimately I want to be a computer animator or a graphic designer. I do all sorts of art, I draw and paint a little. I've even tried my hand at sculpting a few times." Justin seemed to loosen up when he started talking about art, his first love.
"Wow, you didn't strike me as an artist." And Brian wasn't lying. He'd pictured Justin doing something more practical, like business or something. It had never struck him that the kid was doing something less conventional.
"My parents hate that I'm an artist." Justin chuckled. "They think that's why I'm gay."
"So you're out to your family then?"
"Yep, though I didn't really come out on purpose." Justin thought back to the night his parents had caught him and Chris in a passionate embrace in the pool when he thought they were at his Grandparents house for the afternoon.
"Got caught?"
"Red handed." Justin confirmed. Brian laughed at the expression on his face. "It was never really my idea to keep it a secret anyways. I wanted to tell my parents as soon as I hooked up with my first boyfriend, it never occurred to me that our parents would care."
"Was he a friend?" Brian asked, thinking about his almost encounter with Michael when they were 17.
"Yah. He was." Justin's voice held regret.
"Not anymore?"
"I haven't talked to him since that day." He said sadly. "My dad dragged us out of the pool and immediately called Chris's parents. They were furious, they had him on a plane to live with his uncle in Texas that night."
"He never called you?"
"Nope." Justin shook his head. "That was almost two years ago now... seems longer." Justin was surprised at how easy he was finding it to talk to Brian. "What about you? Is it true that you don't 'do' boyfriends?"
"I had a boyfriend once." Brian said. He had never been able to tell anyone about everything that happened with Jamie. Not even Daphne, and certainly not Michael, all the knew was that Brian had been devastated when it ended. He remembered Daphne telling him that he had to let Justin know him if he wanted anything to happen between the two of them, so he decided to go for. "He kinda made me not want to do it again."
"So you don't want a boyfriend now?" Justin asked feeling his hopes about Brian dissolve.
"Not one like Jamie, and it seems like most of 'em are carbon copies."
"Tell me about him." Justin said gently, hoping that Brian would open up to him. He'd always been the type of person who liked to talk about his feelings instead of locking them up and letting them fester and he hoped Brian could open up to him.
"Well, like I said, his name was Jamie. I met him when I was a senior in high school. I came on a campus tour before I sent in my application, before that I'd been planning on going out of state, he was the tour guide. Before that, I guess I experimented with guys and stuff, but once I hooked up with him I learned that what I had been doing was kid stuff." Brian took a deep breath. "In the beginning, we were having sex all the time. So I decided not to go out of state."
"You were in love."
"I guess." Brian shrugged. "It's all tainted now, you know? It's like everything I thought was happening at the time was all bullshit. After I moved out of my parents place and started going out to clubs with him and stuff, everything was different. He wanted to trick together, pick up guys and take them home... He told me that gay men weren't meant to be monogamous and that he never had any intention of being so. I believed him. So I told him that he could do whatever he wanted, as long as he didn't kiss them. I started tricking too. I guess it started going to shit from there. He graduated and moved away, told me he was going to forget about me, and I stayed here." Brian couldn't believe that he'd told Justin all that, but somehow he knew that Justin wouldn't think him weak because of it.
"So now you trick like crazy and avoid relationships like the plague." It wasn't a question.
"What about you? What happened with that Jonny guy?" Brian desperately needed to change the subject. He promised himself that he wouldn't close up on Justin, but there was only so many bad memories he could bring back in a night.
"I met him just before graduation, about a year ago. My parents were convinced that the 'gay thing' had just been a phase and things were pretty much okay at home. I guess it wasn't long after Ant and I became friends, he'd gotten us fake id's and we went to Boi Toi." Justin chuckled. "I was in heaven." Brian laughed too.
"First time you'd been in a room full of gay boys?" He asked, amused. He remembered a time when he felt a rush just being around people who were like him.
"Yep. I was terrified, but it felt so good." Justin paused for a moment and let himself go back to that night. "I met Jonny there, he was only a year older than me and we got along great. I'm not even sure when it stopped being great, probably a couple of months ago. He met someone and left me for him."
"Still upset?" Brian hoped as hard as he could that Justin was over the other guy.
"Not upset really, I regret how it ended though. I always kind of thought that I'd be the kid of person who stayed friends with their ex's and I'm 0 for 2 now." Justin chuckled.
"I have a rule about never fucking my friends. Made that rule when I was 17 when I almost fucked up my relationship with Michael." Brian admitted.
"You slept with Michael?" Justin made a face and Brian could tell that the blond wasn't too fond of his best friend.
"No, we made out, I guess. Kissed, touched each other on top of the clothes, adolescent shit. But it fucked things up for a while." Brian shook his head and smiled. "This sure is a heavy conversation for the first date."
"Yah, it is. Why don't we watch the movie?"
Brian nodded and grabbed the tape. He slipped it into the machine and turned out the lights before returning to the couch. Over the course of the movie, the two repositioned themselves many times before ending up spooning, Brian holding Justin close to his chest.
***
"Well, I guess it's time to say goodnight." Justin said turning to Brian, who had offered to drive him home. Justin was thrilled with how the night turned out. After the movie, they'd ordered pizza and talked, though not as seriously this time. They talked about books and movies and food.
"Yah, I guess it is." Brian nodded. He was completely unsure of what he was supposed to do at the end of the night, he and Daphne hadn't covered that part. "Can we do this again sometime?"
"I'd like that." Justin smiled. He had been wondering all night if Brian was going to try anything with him, he was kind of hoping that he would. However, Brian didn't look like he was moving, so Justin decided to stop being a pussy and make a move. He remembered that Brian had liked when he took initiative at Woody's that night.
Justin leaned over and slid his hand around the back of Brian's neck, slowly bringing their faces back together. As their lips touched, both pairs of eyes drifted closed and they lost themselves in the kiss. As the kiss intensified, they became wrapped in each other. Soon, their hands were exploring underneath each other's shirt, teasing nipples and rubbing hard flesh.
When Brian pulled away, Justin was startled. He was becoming more and more confused by Brian with every passing moment. Sometimes it seemed like Brian and he were really making a connection and other times it felt like Brian was pulling away, putting distance between them.
"I'll call you tomorrow?" Brian asked for permission, breaking the silence in the now steamy car.
"Yah."
"K. Later." Brian grinned.
"Later." Justin sighed as he climbed from the car, wondering if he would ever figure the other man out.
When Justin walked into the apartment, he found Anthony sitting on the couch looking troubled. He wondered what had happened with Michael. "Hey, Ant. What's matter?"
"Remember Lindsay's advice about picking up a trick and leaving Michael high a dry?" Justin nodded, taking a seat next to his roommate. "Well, I took it. We went to Babylon tonight and I made a big show of finding the hottest guy in the place and taking him to the back room."
"And..?"
"You should have seen Michael's face." Anthony sounded tortured. "He looked like someone had just killed his dog."
"You didn't expect it?"
"I didn't think I would care." Anthony admitted. "I kind of feel bad about hurting the little fucker."
"Uh oh." Justin did like where the conversation was going.
"I don't want him back or anything. He was driving me up the fucking wall. I just think I should have been at least a little bit human." Anthony pushed his fingers through his hair.
"He had no reason to think that you two were a couple." Justin reminded his friend even though he knew that if it had been him in Michael's place, he would have been heart broken too. Brian would never do that, would he?
"I know." Anthony shook his head. "Was your night better than mine?"
"I kind of had a date."
"With?"
"Brian."
"Kinney?"
"Uh huh."
"When the fuck did this happen?"
"When you and Linds ditched me this afternoon to hide from little Mikey, Brian asked me to come over and watch a movie." Justin almost blushed.
"It's only midnight. Why are you home already?"Anthony obviously assumed that by date Justin meant that he and Brian were having sex. "Shouldn't you still be basking in the afterglow?"
"We didn't fuck." Justin admitted. "He didn't even try to kiss me. I had to kiss him when he dropped me off. And then when things got hot he pulled back."
"Is that guy on crack?" Anthony asked, amazed. "Biggest stud on campus and he's not trying to get you in his bed."
"You forget, I've already been there." Justin reminded his friend.
"Sounds like he's going all hetero and trying to have a relationship with you."
"You make it sound like that's a bad thing." Justin sneered.
"It just seems weird. I were you? I'd keep my guard up when it comes to Kinney. You never know what kind of game he's playing." Anthony warned.
"I know." Justin looked down at his hands. "He confuses the shit out of me. In my life I've met two different kinds of fags. There are the ones like me, the ones who want the relationship, the boyfriend. And there are the ones like you, the ones who only want to fuck. Seems like Brian has a split personality or something because I've seen him be both."
"And to think, I almost fucked him."
"Don't remind me." Justin hated the knowledge that Brian had wanted Anthony first and the only reason they hadn't hooked up was because he interrupted.
***
Brian dropped his keys on the table and checked to see if Daphne was home. She wasn't. He walked over to the answering machine, which said there was three new messages. He pressed play before going to get a beer.
"Brian, it's Michael. *sniffle* I need to talk to you. Call me as soon as you get this." beep
"Brian, me again. *sniffle, sniffle* Please call me, I really need you right now. Anthony dumped me." beep
"Brian, I'm coming over." beep
"Fuck." Brian groaned. Having a sobbing, whining Michael on his hands was exactly what he didn't need. He was still trying to figure out how to proceed with Justin. Moments after the message ended, there was a knock on the door and Brian knew that it was Michael. As soon as he opened the door, the whining began.
"Is there something wrong with me? Why doesn't he want me anymore? What did I do wrong?" Michael whined, launching himself into Brian's arms.
"It's not you, Mikey." Brian said in his best comforting voice. "Anthony just isn't a boyfriend guy, I told you that from the beginning."
"Oh! So now you're taking your chance to say 'I told you so'!" Michael raged, taking out his emotions on Brian. "Fine! I guess your kind have to stick together."
"My kind?" Brian raised an eyebrow and pressed his tongue against the side of his cheek.
"Guys who only like to fuck!" Michael started to sob. "How could I have been so stupid? He was only keeping me busy so that little bastard Justin could get his claws into you!"
"Step lightly, Michael." Brian warned.
"Don't tell me you're actually still seeing the little slut! Can't you see that he's just like Anthony? He's just going to use you and then throw you away? He's probably using you to get back at his ex boyfriend." Brian winced, Michael was tapping in on one of his biggest fears about the situation with Justin.
"Leave it alone, Michael."
"Don't keep seeing him, Brian! If you're really my friend, you won't see him anymore." Michael said pleadingly, laying his forehead on Brian's chest.
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