Part 18
Justin stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought. It had been two months since things with Brian had ended. Things. That's the only way he could think of to describe what he and Brian had shared. It had all happened so fast, going from blissful to miserable in a matter of days, hours even. Two Months. He still couldn't get the brunette out of his head. Every time he closed his eyes, Brian was there. And every time he saw Brian in his head, it was the memory of the hurt look on his face the night Justin had ended things.

He'd seen Brian a handful of times since, walking on campus with Daphne or hurrying to a class, but had otherwise studiously avoided him. Seeing the guy he was so wrapped up in that it hurt, was too much for him. He wondered why he hadn't felt that way with Jonny, or even Chris who he'd believed was the only person in the world for him.

Two months.

It seemed like no time had passed at all. Like a zombie, Justin went through the motions. His days were filled with classes and long hours in his room drawing. The color seemed to have drained from his life and nothing was brilliant anymore.

"Justin." Anthony's arrival at his door roused Justin from his thoughts and he tore his eyes away from the ceiling to look at his best friend.

"Hey, Ant." Justin smiled weakly and gestured Anthony to come in and sit down.

"Pondering the meaning of life again?" Anthony teased. The only way he could stop himself from getting into yet another discussion about what happened with Brian, and how Justin should take some action and get Brian back was to tease him playfully.

"Not today." Justin sighed. "What's up?"

"You're gunna make yourself pretty and come out to Babylon with us tonight. It's Nathan's birthday and he wants you there to celebrate with us. Linds is going to be there, Emmett from the diner and his new boy toy, and a few of the guys from the restaurant." Anthony smiled, hoping it would be infectious.

"Babylon?" Justin looked like a deer in the headlights.

"You're scared he'll be there."

"I don't want to see him, Ant. It's too hard." Justin sighed again. "Why doesn't Nathan come over a little earlier so I can wish him a happy birthday and we can hang out a little here?"

"Because he wants you to come to Babylon with us. And so do I. It's time you got out of this place for something other than school. You're starting to turn the same color as the walls. Pretty soon, you'll just become one of them." Anthony said firmly.

"Ant…"

"Listen, J, you and I both know that there's a chance that Brian will be there tonight, though I haven't seen him there since the night…" Anthony let his voice trail off, feeling stupid for bringing up the night Brian and Justin had called it quits.

"The night it ended." Justin said sadly. "You can say it, Ant. I'm all too aware that it happened."

"You have to stop beating yourself up about this. You're the one who ended it. He hurt you. End of story." Anthony decided that it was time to stop coddling Justin.

"What if I see him?"

"What if I get hit by a bus. We have to take chances or nothing will ever happen." Anthony threw an arm around his friend. "Besides, Brian's graduating in a few days. If you see him tonight, you'll probably never have to see him again."

"Fine, I'll come." Justin relented.

"Awesome. Be ready by ten-thirty sharp!" Ant kissed his friend on the cheek before disappearing from the room.

***

"Only a few more days." Brian said with a small smile as he and Daphne sat in their kitchen having coffee. "Can you believe we're actually graduating?"

"I can't believe that I'm starting medical school in a few months." Daphne shook her head. "And I'm not going to see you everyday anymore. I was just starting to get to know the new Brian."

"The new Brian?" He raised an eyebrow.

"You've changed a lot in the last couple of months, Mr. Kinney." Daphne smiled. She'd watched him change. It had started the night he met Justin, accelerated the night he and Justin broke up, and had been progressing steadily every since.

"How so?" Brian didn't want to admit it, but he felt different as well.

"You're not out making the rounds on Liberty or around campus anymore. You're not as concerned with appearances or whatever. You're calmer." Daphne listed the three main things that had changed about her friend.

"I realized that I didn't want to turn into Jamie, I guess." Brian shrugged.

"I'm proud of you, babe." Daphne smiled. "I like this new Brian more than I liked the old one."

"I don't know whether to be complimented or insulted." Brian chuckled. "So I'm going to tell myself that was a compliment and leave it at that."

"It was." Daphne paused. "Are you going to talk to him before we move?" Brian knew exactly which "him" Daphne was talking about.

"I don't know yet." Brian shrugged. "I don't know if there's anything left to say."

"How about that you love him?" Daphne suggested as though it was obvious.

"Didn't change anything the night we broke up." Brian looked sad. "All it would do now is make me feel like a fool."

"So you're just going to move on? Without any closure?"

"I got all the closure I need. He dumped me, Daph." It was the first time that Brian had been able to say those words out loud. "It'll be better once we graduate. I won't have to see him on campus."

"You sure you don't want to see him?"

"It'll only make it worse." Needing to change the subject, Brian grinned. "The time has come to talk of other things… Of shoes and ships and sealing wax… Of cabbages and kings."

"Cute, Kinney, very cute." Daphne said with a laugh. She loved when Brian said goofy things, like that line from The Walrus and The Carpenter.

"You wanna be a good little fag hag and come to Babylon with me tonight? One last hurrah while I can still call myself a student?" Brian suggested with a wink. He wanted to downplay the fact that he hadn't gone to Babylon since the night he and Justin broke up.

"Promise to buy me a drink?" Daphne raised an eyebrow.

"I'll buy you a couple." Brian grinned. "Tonight we celebrate the fact that we made it through four years at this place."

"And how." Daphne smiled as well.

***

"Happy Birthday, Nate." Justin said with a  smile, hugging Ant's boyfriend from behind. "You're a big boy now." Justin was finding it a little difficult to be in the club again, but kept telling himself that it meant a lot to Nathan and Anthony that he was there.

"Awww, thanks, J." Nathan laughed.

"Hey, Justin, it's a blast from your past." Anthony said nodding towards the railing only about 10 feet away. Justin turned, expecting to see Brian, and was surprised to see Jonny.

"Whoa, haven't seen him in a while." Justin wondered whether he should feel weird seeing his ex, but really was having trouble feeling anything at all concerning Jonny. "Maybe I should go over there and say hey."

"If you want." Anthony shrugged. He wondered how it was possible that Justin was with Jonny for a year and was completely okay going over and talking to him, yet he was terrified to even see Brian, who he was only with for a matter of weeks.

"I think I will." Justin grabbed his drink off the bar and walked over to Jonny, who looked a little startled to see him. "Hey," he said with a small smile, hoping that it wasn't awkward.

"Hey, Justin. Long time, no see." Jonny seemed a little nervous. "How've you been?"

"I've been well." Justin lied. He didn't want to get into a conversation about Brian. "How about you? Keeping busy?"

"Oh yah, things are crazy. I'm just relieved that finals are over. Now I can actually spend some time with…" Jonny trailed off. He'd forgotten that he was talking to his ex-boyfriend.

"With?" Justin smiled, realizing that he didn't really care who it was that Jonny wanted to spend time with.

"Uh, Luke. My boyfriend. The guy from the…"

"The guy from the phone." Justin nodded. "I'm happy for you, Jonny."

"Thanks." Jonny seemed to loosen up. "What about you? I heard a rumor that you tamed Brian Kinney." Justin felt his stomach drop.

"Not quite." He shook his head. "We broke up about two months ago."

"Sorry to hear that."

"So, is Luke around here?" Justin grinned. "He must be pretty hot if you left me for him." The tone in Justin's voice told Jonny not to be offended.

"He's over there. In the DJ booth." Jonny pointed and Justin saw Luke wave. The look on Jonny's face proved that he loved him.

"Well, if he won't mind my keeping you busy for a couple of songs, do you want to dance? For old time's sake." Justin was actually starting to feel better and have fun. He felt some of the familiar ease that he'd always felt with Jonny and it seemed to make everything better.

"Sure, why not." Jonny led the way out to the dance floor and the two of them started dancing immediately.

***

"Wow, it's totally packed in here tonight." Daphne said, surveying the club upon entering. "Must be on account of finals being over."

"How about we go get a drink?" Brian suggested. He wasn't sure why, but he was feeling more than just a little uncomfortable in the club.

"Anything you say. I'm just the fag hag, I'll follow you wherever you go." Daphne joked, taking Brian's arm so she didn't lose him in the throng of half naked men.

"Least you know your place." Brian said pressing his tongue against the side of his cheek.

"Fuck you, Kinney." Daphne smacked his arm.

"I don't do twat." Brian teased. His easy banter with Daphne was making him significantly more at ease in the crowded club.

"Hey, Bri!" Michael hurried up to his friend like an anxious, slobbering puppy. "You didn't tell me you were going to be here tonight."

"And yet you still managed to find me in here within two minutes of when I walked in." Brian turned to Daphne and rolled his eyes so that Michael couldn't see.

"I was up there with this really hot guy I met when I saw you walk in." Michael said by way of an explanation.

"And you left this really hot guy to come down here and bug me?"

"Actually, I told him I'd be right back." Michael grinned. "His name is Ben Bruckner. He's a grad student at Carnegie Mellon. He's studying English. He wants to be a professor."

"Well, why don't you go back up there and dazzle your Grad Student while me and Daph go make the rounds?" Brian suggested. He wasn't really in the mood to listen to Michael talk anymore.

"Ok." Michael offered a dopey smile. "I'll see you later though, ok?"

"Ok, Mikey." Brian rolled his eyes again before ordering himself a beer and Daphne a frozen margarita. "Here you go, Miss Daphne."

Daphne accepted her drink and then looked around the club. "Uh oh, incoming sleaze alert." She warned her friend when she saw Jamie approaching. Brian turned and felt his stomach churn when he felt Jamie's eyes on him.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my former stalker." Jamie said, holding an adorable blond twink under his arm. "You missed your chance, babe."

"Gee, darn. You mean I missed my chance to get treated like shit by a conceited asshole with a puny cock? I'll pass." Brian rolled his eyes, feeling suddenly empowered when it came to his former lover. He turned back to the bar and waited until he was sure that Jamie had moved on.

"Way to go, Bri!" Daphne exclaimed. She had been waiting for Brian to finally take a stand against Jamie. "I knew you had it in you."

Brian turned and smiled at her, but a blond head caught his eye and his smile quickly faded. There, on the dance floor, was Justin laughing and dancing with Jonny. Turning back to the bar, he tried not to think about what he'd just seen.

***

"Well, I'd better get back over to my friends." Justin said breathlessly after dancing four songs with his ex. "It's Ant's boyfriend's birthday."

"Ant has a boyfriend?" Jonny asked surprised.

"Uh huh. That's him over there." Justin pointed to where Anthony and Nate stood, wrapped in each other. "They're painfully sweet."

"That's weird. I always kind of thought that with me out of the picture, you and Ant would give it a go." Jonny admitted. Justin looked over at Anthony and thought about the feelings that had arisen when he started dating Nathan.

"Nah. Ant and I were never meant to be more than friends." Justin smiled, knowing that it was completely true. "Maybe I'll see you around? I'd love for you to introduce me to Luke."

"For sure." Jonny replied with a smile. "Later, Justin."

"Bye, Jonny." Justin turned and made his way back over to his friends, noticing that Anthony looked a little worried. "What's wrong, Ant?" Without speaking, Ant nodded to where Brian was standing and then looked at his friend with concern.

Justin's eyes were fixated on Brian, who he couldn't help but admit looked even more amazing than ever that night. He was about to turn away when Brian looked in his direction and their eyes met. Without saying a word, Justin made his way over to where Brian stood, as if he were drawn to him.

"Where's your boyfriend?" Brian asked, trying to seem unaffected by Justin's presence, even though his heart was racing.

"My what?" Justin was confused.

"What's his name? Jonny."

"Jonny's not my boyfriend. Remember? He and I broke up the night I met you." Justin reminded the brunette. He wasn't sure why, but he really needed for Brian to know that he was single. "I ran into him tonight and we danced. His boyfriend is the DJ."

"Well, good for you then." Brian decided that he needed to drop the mask or he was never going to get anywhere with Justin. "How have you been?"

"Alright, I guess. Hasn't been the easiest couple months." Justin replied honestly. He was tempted to pretend that everything was fine, but he just couldn't. "How about you?"

"Surviving." Brian shrugged.

"Seeing anyone?" Justin wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer, but asked anyways.

"No." Brian looked into Justin's eyes and hoped that the blond interpreted what the stare meant.

"Oh." Justin nodded. He felt like Brian was trying to tell him something beyond what he was actually saying out loud, but he couldn't figure out what it was exactly. "Well, I guess I'd better go. We're celebrating Nathan's birthday."

"Tell him I said happy birthday." Brian cleared his throat. "And, uh, it was good seeing you, Justin."

"Bye, Brian." Justin turned and walked back to his friends. He couldn't help but feel like he should have said more, like he should have tried to be more personal.

"Are you alright? How'd it go?" Anthony asked with concern as Justin rejoined them by the bar. For the first time ever, he was having trouble reading the blond's facial expressions.

"I'm fine." Justin nodded.

"Justin, let's dance." Nathan took Justin's arm. "And you can't say no, it's my birthday."

"Taylor! If I catch you putting your hands on his ass, we are SO not friends anymore." Anthony called jokingly.

"I'm sick of seeing you miserable." Nathan said sincerely. "If Kinney is going to make you happy, why don't you just forget all the shit already and go get him back?"

"It's not that simple. You know what happened." Justin said pleadingly. It was the first time since the breakup that anyone had talked to him like that. Up 'til then, everyone had been handling him like he would shatter if they upset him at all.

"Did you expect it to be perfect?" Nathan asked. "Do you think me and Anthony haven't both screwed things up in the last few months?"

"What?"

"Both of us have slipped, but we talked about it and figured things out." Nathan said. "And we just get stronger every time. It's not always sunshine and chocolate roses, Justin."

"I'll think about it."

"That's all I ask." Nathan decided to lighten the mood. "Now, let's get a little naughty out here. Ever had sex with a guy who's jealous? It's hot."

"So I'll be sleeping with my discman tonight?" Justin asked with a smile, but still let Nathan move closer. The two of them watched Anthony, who was keeping his eye on them, out of the corner of their eyes.

"I think he's suitably jealous now. Let's go back over there." Nathan smiled. "And really think about what I said. I saw you when you were with Brian… you were really happy. You deserve it."

"Thanks, Nathan. I'm sorry I hated you at first." Nathan laughed.

"No problem, Justin. I kinda hated you too."

"Thought I told you not to touch his ass." Anthony said as the two approached. He immediately pulled Nathan close.

"Awww, baby, you know that blonds aren't my type." Nathan nuzzled at Anthony's neck. "I only like hot brunette's named Anthony."

Justin, who was watching the exchange, suddenly made a decision and walked away without a word. Anthony watched as his friend disappeared into the crowd before turning to his boyfriend with a curious look on his face.

"I think he's going to try and be a hero, instead of staying the damsel in distress." Nathan said proudly before dragging Anthony out to the dance floor.

***

Daphne was on the dance floor pressed in between two of her other gay friends. When she felt a tap on her shoulder, she turned around to find Justin looking at her hopefully. "Hey, Justin. What can I do for you?"

"Where's Brian? I need to talk to him." Justin said almost frantically. Now that he'd decided to try and get Brian back, he felt like he needed to do it immediately before he lost his nerve.

"I'm sorry, Justin. You just missed him. He left about five minutes ago." Daphne looked really sorry that Brian was gone. She could see that Justin had something important to say to her friend.

"Oh. Ok. Thanks anyways." Justin's shoulder's slumped and he walked away.

Daphne watched him go and wondered whether the fates were out to get Brian and Justin or whether it was their own fault that they weren't together. She decided that it was a mixture of both.

***

Brian watched as the rain made the lights of the city brilliant. He was on the roof of his apartment building, his special place to go and think alone. He'd been there a lot since his break up with Justin. Seeing Justin looking so unaffected by him earlier had prompted him to leave Daphne at Babylon to party and dance while he opted to go home and think.

Even after two months, he was still unable to figure out exactly what had caused his relationship with Justin to crumble. He knew that it was a compound of things happening all at once, but he wondered if maybe there was one thing that had tipped the scales. He wondered if Justin's sudden preoccupation had perhaps turned into more, or maybe Justin had decided that he wasn't good enough for him. It was obvious to him that Justin's feelings for him weren't as intense as his, if they were Justin wouldn't have been so casual earlier that night.

Brian sighed and looked out over the city trying not to think about Justin and what had happened between them. He thought about the fact that he was graduating in a few days and then everything would be different. His life was about to change and he'd have no time to think about the adorable blond who had changed him forever.

***

"Remember this?" Daphne laughed as she help up a funny looking sculpture that sat on a high shelf in their living room. They were packing up their apartment so that everything was ready for when the movers came the next day.

"Didn't that idiot art student Tommy get that for you?" Brian laughed as well and took it from her hands. "It's really phallic. You should have known he was a fag when he gave this to you. It shouldn't have taken you finding him at Babylon fucking some big ol' bear."

"Fuck you." There was no malice in Daphne's voice, only amusement. "Didn't we play spin the statue with that one night in junior year?" Brian thought for a moment.

"Oh yah! And I had to kiss that little slut Tammy Northam." He made a wretching sound. "And she was so certain that she could get me to fuck her."

"Ahhh… Some straight girls are so deluded." Daphne laughed. "I think I'm gunna chuck this ugly thing. No use in dragging this out to California with me."

"Unless you wanted to use it as a dildo." Brian teased.

"Gross." Daphne made a face. "Throw it out for me, will you?"

"Yes, ma'am." He happily tossed the statue into the garbage bag at his side. He spotted a picture in a frame that had fallen behind the TV and he picked it up. "Daph, how long has this been back there?" He asked holding it up.

"Jesus." She said when she saw it. "Must have been a long time. Look how young we were in that picture." The picture was of the two of them at their high school prom. Daphne was wearing an orangey pink gown and Brian was wearing a very tasteful tux with a beautiful white silk scarf. "We looked really hot that night."

"We sure did. Heads turned when we walked into the room." Brian chuckled.

"I think they were wondering whether I turned you straight." Daphne slugged him in the arm. "But alas, I'm just a fag hag."

"The best fag hag ever." He corrected her. "Listen, I'm gunna go start on my room. I'll come back out and help out here in a bit, okay?"

"Sure." Daphne said as she started packing up her video collection.

Brian closed his door behind him. He didn't want Daphne to see him getting choked up about moving out of the apartment that the two of them had shared for their four years of university. He was a little sad to be moving on, especially since they were going to be so far away from each other.

Brian put on a brave face and starting packing all of his things into boxes. About a half hour after starting, Brian was cleaning out his last drawer and he found two pictures of himself and Justin. They were from one of those pictures booths that gives you four pictures. He sat down on his bed and looked at the pictures, remembering the day they were taken…~

"Mmm… That breakfast was so good." Justin said as he and Brian walked out of the diner. He cuddled as close to Brian as he could, unwilling to let the bliss he'd felt with Brian the previous night and that morning end.  "I needed that breakfast after the long, hard night we had."

"It's always long and hard when I'm with you." Brian teased, enjoying having the cheerful blond in his arms.

"I know." Justin grinned. "You proved that last night. And this morning when we woke up. And then in the shower. Wanna prove it again?"

"You're a little minx, aren't you?" Brian laughed. "We both have to go to school, so we can get an education. Well, so I can get an education and so you can finger paint." Justin slugged Brian in the arm, but knew he was teasing.

"Hey, look! A photo booth!" Justin exclaimed. "Brian, do you have three bucks?"

"You want to get your picture taken?" Brian raised an eyebrow.

"No, I want to get our picture taken, asshole." Justin grabbed his hand and led him over to the photo booth. "Pleeeeeease?"

"Fine." Brian relented. He was actually kind of excited to be doing something so coupley with his young boyfriend.

They deposited their coins and then Justin pushed Brian into the booth, quickly following behind to sit on Brian's lap. Immediately, Brian started kissing Justin and then moving down to caress the blond's neck with his tongue and nibble it with his teeth. The result was 4 pictures of Brian kissing, sucking, and biting a first giggling and then moaning Justin.

"You can't even do a photo booth like a normal person." Justin laughed as they looked at the pictures.

"You complaining?" Brian asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Not in the slightest." Justin giggled. He took the long piece of photo paper and quickly ripped it in half.

"What are you doing?"

"Two for me and two for you." Justin said proudly, handing Brian his two. "I'm keeping this one," he pointed to one of the pictures on his piece, "because you look like you're going to devour me."

"Awww, how romantic." Brian drawled.

"Shut up, you big oaf." Justin slipped his pictures into his back pocket and then wrapped himself around Brian once more.~

Brian wiped a tear from his eye and slipped the picture into a book before putting the book into the box. He reminded himself not to forget the title of the book so that he could look at the picture whenever he wanted.

***

"…So we're going to spend a week at her parents place in the Hamptons once schools over." Lindsay giggled excitedly as she told Anthony and Justin her plans for the summer. "What are you two doing?"

"Working." Justin replied.

"Having mad sex with Nathan every chance I can." Anthony replied in the same flat tone as Justin before giggling a little. "What's with you, bitchy boy?"

"Nothing." Justin grumbled.

"Nothing, my ass." Anthony said with a little more attitude than usual. "What crawled up your ass… or didn't?"

"Nathan talked me into asking Brian for a second chance." Justin said honestly. "And…"

"Oh my god! He said no! Did he say no? Oh, you poor baby!" Lindsay cut in.

"No." Justin said softly. "He'd already left Babylon. I don't know whether to go over to his place and talk to him or just say fuck it and move on."

"You have to go over there, Jus. You love him." Lindsay said. "He deserves another chance."

"Why does he deserve another chance?" Anthony asked. "He hurt him. A lot."

"He didn't mean to. And I'll bet that Justin hurt him just as much." Lindsay stood firm. "And besides, what can it hurt to just go talk to him?"

"Is this what you want, J?"

"Yah, I think it is." Justin replied.

"Then go." Anthony smiled. "Go get your man."

Justin smiled brilliantly before standing and walking out of the diner. He was a man on a mission now.

***

"So this is it." Daphne said looking around the packed up apartment. The movers were in the process of emptying the place out. "Our last time here."

"I'll miss waking up to your coffee, Daph." Brian said a little sadly. It was really their over coffee conversations that he was going to miss, but he wasn't about to get all mushy on her.

"I'm gunna miss everything about living with you. Except maybe the panting and moaning coming from your room at all hours." She grinned. "And having to pick your underwear up off the bathroom floor because you still haven't learned how to use a hamper."

"Hey!" Brian protested.

"Life won't be the same without you, Bri." Daphne reached up and hugged him. She was on the verge of tears and needed to feel him close to her.

"Hey, it's not like we're never going to see each other again." Brian pulled back and wiped a stray tear off her cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow at graduation. And it's not like we won't keep in touch after that."

"I know. It's just that I'll be in California and you'll be…"

"Only a phone call away." Brian assured her. "I'll always be around for you to bug or to bug you. It's hard to find a good fag hag, you know! When you find the perfect one, you have to keep her." Daphne laughed.

"Okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow. If you need me before then, call me at my parent's place. You have the number." Daphne smiled, looking around the apartment one last time.

"I'll be at Deb's tonight if you start to miss me." Brian smiled and pulled her back into a tighter hug. He was sad to leave the apartment that had been more of a home than his parent's place had ever been.

***

"Brian, I love you so much." Justin said. "I know that breaking up with you was stupid… I was just so hurt. FUCK! Way to go, Taylor, could you sound anymore like a straight chick?"

He took a deep breath and continued walking in the direction of Brian and Daphne's apartment. After spending the entire day after seeing Brian at Babylon thinking about what to do, and then having his friends back him up, he was determined to get Brian back.

"Listen, it sucks without you. Take me back?" Justin groaned. "This isn't going to be as easy as I thought. Everything I can think of to say sounds like some teen drama."

As he approached Brian's building, he noticed two moving trucks outside. When he felt a familiar feeling of dread in his stomach, he ran inside and took the stairs up to the apartment. Sure enough, the door was open and the movers were moving in and out with furniture.

"Where are the people who lived here?" He asked one of the movers.

"The girl left about twenty minutes ago, the guy about five minutes later." The man replied.

"I guess you don't know where he went, huh?"

"Sorry, can't help you there." The mover shrugged.

"Where's all this stuff going?"

The mover looked down at the address and then back up at Justin. "To a storage locker, but I heard him and the girl say something about moving to California."

"Uhhh, thanks." Justin felt a familiar stirring in his stomach and had to get out of there before he started to cry in front of the burly mover. He made his way outside and stepped into an alley to let his emotions out.

***

Justin stepped into the apartment, dejected. Anthony was waiting for him on the couch. When he saw the look on his friend's face, he hurried over. "What happened? What did he say?"

"I was too late." Justin sniffled. "He wasn't there. The movers were moving all his things out. And he's moving to California!" He began to cry. Ant pulled him into a tight embrace.

"I guess it just wasn't meant to be." Anthony said gently, holding Justin while he cried. "There's someone out there for you, and when you're ready, you'll meet him and everything will fall into place."

"Thanks, Ant." Justin sniffed.

When Nathan arrived twenty minutes later, Justin was still crying in Ant's arms on the couch. "What happened?" He asked with concern, seeing how upset Justin was.

"He went to ask Brian to get back together and he found out that Brian moved out of his apartment and is moving to California." Anthony said, stroking Justin's hair.

"You should go find him and talk to him anyways." Nathan said as he sat down on Justin's other side and put a hand on his arm. "If you don't talk to him, you'll always wonder. And you may never get the chance to see him again."

"But I don't know where to find him." Justin said sadly.

"Do I have to do everything for you?" Nathan asked exasperated. He pulled Justin up and looked him in the eye. "Brian is graduating tomorrow, correct?"

"Uh huh." Justin grunted the affirmative.

"So go to the ceremony and talk to him there." Nathan looked proud of himself for the idea.

"Do you think it would work?" Justin asked, looking at Anthony.

"Couldn't hurt." His friend shrugged.

"I'll think about it and decide in the morning." Justin hugged his two friends and then made his way to his room.

***

"I can't believe that the kid I met when he was a gangly little fourteen year old is graduating University today." Deb said with a huge smile on her face. "I'm so proud of you, baby." She reached out and pinched the brunette's cheek.

"Deb!" Brian squirmed.

"You look so handsome in your suit." Vic put in, reaching out to smooth Brian's lapels. "Every bit the grown up."

"Thanks, Vic."

"Oh, Sweetie!" Debbie started to cry before she pulled Brian into a bone-crushing hug. "You're going out into the world to make something of yourself."

"What about me, Mom?" Michael whined. He was a little jealous of all the attention that his Mom and Uncle Vic were lavishing on Brian.

"You know I'm proud of you, baby." Debbie squeaked. "Now, let's get some pictures of you guys. Brian looks so gorgeous in his suit that I just need to capture it on film."

~knock, knock~

"That must be Daph. I told her to come over here before she and her parents have to leave for the ceremony." Brian hurried to the door. Daphne was smiling brightly, dressed in a tasteful summer dress. "Well, aren't you just a little hottie." Brian teased.

"You're not so bad yourself, Stud." Daphne giggled. "I can't stay long, my parents want to stop by my grandparents place on the way to the ceremony."

"Come pose for some pics for Deb and then could you drop me at the Kinney Manse?" Brian rolled his eyes. He wasn't looking forward to seeing his parents, but he knew that graduation was one of those occasions where he couldn't just not invite them.

"Course." Daphne smiled. "Hey, Deb. Vic. Michael." She greeted them.

"Daphne, you look so pretty." Debbie said with a big smile. "I'll bet your parents are so proud of you."

"They are. I think Dad will be prouder after medical school though." Daphne replied.

"Oh! That's right! You're off to California to become a doctor." Debbie clapped her hands together happily. "Congratulations."

"Thank you, Deb." Daphne smiled.

"Well, we had better hurry and take the pictures. Me and Daph both have to go over to our parents places." Brian said with a smile, even though he was dreading seeing Jack and Joanie.

***

"Hey, Mom." Brian said as he stepped into his childhood home. His mother was dressed in her Sunday best and was sipping on a martini. "Hey, Pop."

"Hiya, Sonny Boy." Jack grunted from the living room. "Come on in here and talk to your old man for a minute."

"How ya doin', Pop?" Brian asked as he sat down across from his dad who also had a drink in his hand.

"Well, look at you in your fancy suit." Jack said patronizingly. "You're a fancy boy now, are you? Too good for this family? Too good to come to dinner on Sundays?"

"Pop…"

"Shut up." Jack was getting angry. "You think you're so special because you're graduating college. Pah! You spent a shit load of money and all you learned was things they would have been paying you to learn had you come and work with me."

"I don't want to work in a factory, Dad." Brian said firmly, setting his jaw.

"Too good for honest work?" Jack slammed his glass down on the table and stood. "What are you, some little faggot whose afraid to get his hands dirty?"

"And what if I am some little faggot, Pop?" Brian stood, angry now as well. The color drained from Jack's face and he had to sit back down.

"You're a fairy?" Jack asked, still too shocked to be angry.

"I sure am, Dad. I like to suck cock. What do you think of that?" Brian raised his chin defiantly.

"Get the hell out of my house and don't you ever come back here. You're a disgrace." Jack turned his head and pretended that Brian no longer existed.

"Why do you have to get him so angry like that?" Joan asked as she shuffled Brian towards the door. "You always provoke him, Brian."

"Mom…" Brian didn't know what to say.

"Just get out of here, Brian." Joanie said coldly. "I'll be at your little ceremony."

"Bye, Mom." Brian walked sadly out of the house. He didn't know why he was surprised. Sometimes he wished he could just have parents who would accept him not matter what, parents who would be proud that he was graduating instead of being jealous.

***

"We're so proud of you, baby." Deb said pulling Brian's face close and pressing a kiss to his cheek. When she saw that he had a bright red lipstick mark, she licked her thumb and started rubbing it off.

"Deb!" He squirmed away.

"Where are your parents? Why isn't your mother over her leaving lipstick marks on your cheeks?" Deb asked.

"My mom doesn't wear lipstick." Brian paused. "And I don't think they're here."

"What??!!" Deb exclaimed. "How could they miss their son's college graduation!"

"I came out to them today." Brian said. "They didn't take it very well."

"Oh, sweety." Deb pulled him into a hug. "No matter what their reaction was, you did the right thing."

"Doesn't feel like it."

"You should be proud of who you are. Just because your parents don't approve, don't feel ashamed." Deb was the typical PFLAG mom. "And just remember, you'll always be one of my boys."

"Thanks, Deb." Brian smiled a little. He felt like something was missing, but he didn't know what it was. He figured that it was the fact that his parents weren't there.

"Hey, Brian!" Daphne ran up and hugged her friend. "Are you coming out with us tonight?"

"Us?"

"Yah, a whole bunch of us are going out for dinner and then to a club to celebrate." Daphne was all smiles.

"Sure." Brian said. After the day he'd had, he didn't really feel like going out. "I have to find Mikey and Vic and then I'll meet up with you, ok?"

"For sure. Meet me at my car as soon as you're done." Daphne bounced away in search of more people to invite to dinner.

"I'm going to go find Mikey. Thanks for coming… and for everything, Deb." Brian hugged her.

"Like I said, you're one of my boys." Deb kissed him one last time and then encouraged him to go find Michael so that he could go out with his other friends.

Brian was searching through the crowds of people when he heard his name. He turned and saw Justin standing by a tree. The blond was looking at him unsmiling.

"Hey." Brian said walking over to him. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you. You're a hard guy to find." Justin looked up at him.

"You were looking?" Brian tried to keep cool.

"I went to your apartment yesterday. The movers said I'd missed you by about fifteen minutes." Justin started picking lint off his pants.

"Yah, we moved out." Brian cleared his throat. "Why were you there?"

"I wanted to talk to you." Justin looked up at him wishing that things weren't so awkward. "And then the movers told me you were moving to California… I just had to talk to you before you left."

"I'm not moving to California." Brian said, confused. "Daph is moving out there for medical School. I got a job here in Pittsburgh."

"You're not leaving?"

"Nope. I'm staying at Deb's for a couple of weeks until I find a new place to live." Brian looked at him closely. "What did you want to say to me when you thought I was leaving?"

"What I wanted to say and what I would have said are two very different things." Justin laughed nervously.

"What did you want to say?" Brian asked intensely.

"I wanted to beg you to stay." Justin only realized what he'd said after it was out of his mouth and he immediately blushed bright red.

"Why?" Brian was trying to understand what Justin was saying to him and he wanted to have everything on the table before he opened up at all.

"Brian…"

"Why?" He repeated.

"Because I love you." He said honestly. He hoped that he could trust Brian not to stomp on his heart.

"And?"

"What do you mean, and?" Justin exclaimed.

"You said you loved me after you broke up with me. What's different now?" Brian couldn't believe that he had the strength to keep asking questions when all he wanted to do was grab Justin and kiss him.

"I… Bri, this is really hard." When Brian didn't say anything, Justin continued. "I don't want to be without you."

"When did you realize this?"

"The other night, Ant said that you were graduating and I might never see you again. Just the thought of that terrifies me." Justin wanted Brian to say something that would indicate that his feelings were reciprocated.

"So what exactly do you want?" Brian bit his lip.

"I want to be with you." Justin took a deep breath and decided that he didn't care if he sounded stupid, he just wanted to tell Brian what he was feeling. "Everything has felt so empty without you. I want to be able to hold you and kiss you and hold your hand. I want to cuddle up on the couch and watch movies. I want to ride the ferris wheel. I want to dance with you."

"What about everything that happened?" Brian tried really hard not to be moved by what Justin said.  "Where does that come in?"

"Can't we just forget it and start over?" Justin was almost pleading.

"Just forget it? Even the good things?"

"No, just the bad." Justin reached out and touched Brian's hand. Moments later, their fingers were intertwined. "I just want to be with you."

"And if I fuck up again?"

"It can't all be sunshine and chocolate roses." Justin remembered Nathan's words and was glad he said them when Brian smiled. "Just promise me that you won't give up."

"Promise me the same thing?"

"Anything." Justin moved closer and Brian leaned down to rest his forehead against Justin's.

"I'm glad you came." Brian said with a small smile.

"I'm glad too." Justin smiled. "Want to come over?"

"Yes." Brian said softly.

***

"It's been too long." Justin said once he and Brian were alone in his bedroom. He led Brian over to the bed and the two of them sat down. They stared at each other for long moments, drinking each other in.

"I can't promise you I won't fuck up." Brian said softly, reaching out to touch the blond's cheek. "But I promise to try harder this time."

"I'm not asking for everything." Justin leaned his cheek harder against Brian's hand, finding comfort in the touch. "I just want you."

"You've had me since that first night." Brian broke the eye contact, feeling vulnerable.

Justin smiled softly before leaning closer to Brian for a kiss. As their lips touched, it was like they hadn't been apart. In moments, they were wrapped in each other and they didn't know where one started and the other ended.

THE END

Epilogue

Five Years Later

~Ding Dong~

"Looks like we have our first guest." Justin said with a smile. He and Brian were having a housewarming party at their new loft. "You ready to reveal the new place?"

"Hell yes." Brian smiled. "The place is such a show place."

"I think my mom is relieved that we finally moved in together." Justin chuckled. "And she's so happy that she found this place for us."

"Your mom is so great." Brian said as he walked towards the door. Justin retreated into the bedroom to finish dressing. "Speak of the devil." He said when he opened the door and found Jennifer Taylor standing there. "We were just talking about you, Jen." He leaned over and kissed her cheeks.

"I hope it was all good things." Jennifer said with a smile.

"Always." Brian grinned. "Hey, Mol."

"Hey, Bri." The teen said in her practiced bored tone.

"Can I take your coats?" Brian offered. He loved Justin's mother and sister, he had started to think of them as his own family.

"Thank you, Bri." Jennifer handed him her coat. She loved Justin's boyfriend. She couldn't think for anyone better for her son than Brian Kinney. "This place looks great with all the furniture in. Has anyone else seen it yet?"

"Nope." Justin replied as he reentered the room. "This will be everyone's first time seeing it."

"This place is fucking amazing, Justin." Molly said as she explored the place.

"Molly! Language." Jennifer admonished.

"Sorry, mom!" Molly rolled her eyes.

~Ding Dong~

""Ahh, more guests." Justin smiled and began making his way over to the door. As he walked past Brian he stopped for a quick kiss before continuing to the door. "Daph!" He exclaimed when he found Daphne and her boyfriend Jason on the other side.

"Hey, Justin." Daphne quickly hugged him before hurrying inside and throwing herself into Brian's arms. He picked her up and swung her around.

"Daph, you look fantastic. New York agrees with you." Daphne had moved to New York after finishing med school. She was currently working in a maternity ward in the city.

"You look great too, babe. And this place is awesome. How did you find this place?" Daphne looked around wide eyed. She hadn't known that anything so amazing existed in Pittsburgh.

"My mother in law is an amazing realtor." Brian winked at Jennifer.

"Hey, Mrs. Taylor." Daphne smiled and went over to kiss Jen's cheek. "It's so good to see you. Everyone, this is my boyfriend Jay. He's an actor."

~Ding Dong~

"I love this whole host thing." Justin grinned.

"Don't you mean hostess, honey?" Brian said, pressing his tongue against his cheek.

"Bitch." Justin mouthed before opening the door. "ANT!" He exclaimed and launched himself into Anthony's arms.

"Hey, J." Anthony said hugging him back. He'd moved to Philadelphia not long after graduation and he and Justin didn't get to see each other very often. "Cool place. Your sugar daddy must be doing well."

"I heard that!" Brian called with a chuckle. He made his way to the door and quickly hugged Anthony. Over the years they had become much closer friends. "How's the symphony treating you?"

"Fabulous." Anthony smiled. "Everyone, this is my boyfriend Colin. He's a pianist." A really cute red head stepped into the room and gave a small wave. "I'm not gunna bother with personal introductions right now, he'll just forget." Anthony looked down at Colin and grinned.

~Ding Dong~

Several doorbell rings later, everyone had arrived. Brian and Justin stood together near the kitchen as everyone came to talk to them. Justin was still amazed that he and Brian had made it. True to their promises, they'd both tried over the years. They both screwed up more than once, but they worked through it and it just got better as time went by.

For five years, they'd kept their own apartments. They'd rarely slept alone of course, but there was something comforting about having a place of their own. When they decided to move in together, they made sure that they got a place big enough for Brian to have a separate office and Justin to have a studio. After moving in two weeks earlier they decided that it was perfect for them.

Jennifer clinked her glass and everyone quieted down. "I'd like to purpose a toast. To my son and my son-in-law," she winked at Brian, "they've been together for five years and if it's possible, they just keep getting happier and happier. So here's to Brian and Justin."

"To Brian and Justin!" Everyone repeated.

Brian and Justin looked into each other's eyes and then kissed. "I love you," Justin whispered.

"Ti Amo." Brian whispered in return.

THE END… For real this time!!

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