Dressed and as ready to leave the apartment as he was going to get, Brian stepped out of his room. Daphne and Tiernan were cuddled up on the couch watching TV. Brian wasn't looking forward to having to admit to Daphne what he had done.
"Well, good morning, Sunshine." Daphne laughed seeing her friend looking thoroughly like shit. "Little Justin must have kept you up until the wee hours." Brian looked guilty immediately and Daphne was off the couch like a shot. "What the hell did you do?"
"Mikey found out." Brian breathed. "He freaked. We had words. I went to Babylon." He decided that he should tell Daphne everything so that she could tell him what to say to Justin. "And I got my dick sucked. Justin doesn't know where I was. I stood him up."
"What the fuck were you thinking?"
"I wasn't. I didn't want to." Brian admitted, starting to get a little defensive. "I'm pretty sure things are perma-fucked with my best friend. I didn't want to think about how messed up things have gotten."
"So you decided that the best course of action would be to fuck things up with Justin too?" Daphne exploded.
"I'm not going to tell him that I went into the backroom." Brian reasoned.
"I can't believe you're telling me that you think it's okay to cheat on him as long as he doesn't find out." Daphne huffed. "Right about now, I'm ashamed to call you my friend."
"Fuck you, Daph. You don't know shit." Brian hissed, feeling the sting of her words. As she stood shocked, Brian grabbed his coat and walked out of the apartment.
***
Justin woke to the sound of knocking on the door to their apartment. At some point during the night he and Anthony ended up cuddled up together. Anthony groaned at the sound of the knocking. He wanted to go back to sleep.
"Ant? Can you get it?" Justin asked. He feared that it was Brian and he knew that he wouldn't know what to say, wouldn't know how to articulate what he was feeling.
"Of course, babe." Anthony said. He had enjoyed waking up with Justin and regretted having to leave the bed. He knew, of course, that Justin wasn't feeling the same way. Damn Kinney, he thought to himself . It had been much easier to ignore the new feelings he was developing for Justin when his friend was with the other guy. Anthony had honestly liked Kinney and had hoped that he would make Justin happy.
Brian was standing on the other side of the door when Anthony opened it. "What the fuck do you want, Kinney?" Anthony said, glaring at Brian.
"Is Justin here?"
"He doesn't want to see you right now." Anthony replied angrily. "Actually, I kinda doubt he ever wants to see you again."
"Because I stood him up?" Brian asked, surprised that Justin would be that upset about being stood up. "Come on, let me just explain to him."
"You think he would be that mad at being stood up." Anthony laughed sardonically. "After he had been waiting for you for two hours, I told him to come out to Babylon with me." Brian paled. "Can u guess what he saw?"
Brian looked broken hearted, vulnerable. The previous night he'd had doubts about his relationship with Justin, but somewhere in between the blow job in the backroom and the morning he had realized that Michael was just manipulating him again. He realized there was nothing to fear from Justin.
"Tell him I'm sorry." Brian said hoarsely, unable to think of anything else to say. He knew that he fucked up and was certain that Justin wouldn't forgive him for that one.
After closing the door, Anthony walked back to the bedroom. Justin was sitting on the bed looking at him anxiously and Anthony hated that he had to tell Justin what had happened with Brian. "He said that he's sorry."
"That's all?"
"I think he gave up." Anthony said honestly. "When I told him that we saw him, he got all pale and looked really upset. And then he said to tell you he was sorry and he left." Anthony sat down on the bed, knowing that Justin would need support.
"I didn't mean anything to him." Justin whimpered.
"Honestly, J, I think you did and still do. You're so amazing, any guy would be lucky to have you." Anthony wrapped his arms around Justin and hugged him close. "If Brian doesn't realize how awesome you are, then he doesn't deserve you."
"I don't deserve you." Justin said, looking up at Anthony with wide eyes. Things changed in a matter of moments. Soon, Justin's lips were on Anthony's with an urgency that Anthony hadn't expected.
In mere moments they were tangled in each other's arms. Justin pulled Anthony against him, desperate to feel something other than the pain of what had happened with Brian. Anthony pushed Justin onto his back and was soon pressed on top of him.
Justin slid his hands under Anthony's shirt and pulled it over his head. "Fuck, you're gorgeous." He said breathlessly. "Why didn't this happen before?"
Justin's words brought Anthony back to reality and he pushed Justin away roughly. "We can't do this, J." He said, regretting that he had to stop what was happening.
"Why?" Justin asked moving back towards his friend, a seductive look on his face.
"Because you don't want me."
"I do want you." Justin insisted, wrapping his arms around Anthony's neck and trying to kiss him again. Anthony resisted and climbed off the bed.
"No, you don't. You want someone to help you forget Brian." Anthony pushed his hand through his hair. "I can't be that guy."
"Even you don't want me." Justin said sadly. "All those times you talked about how hot I was... it was all bullshit, wasn't it?"
"No." Anthony said sadly. "Unfortunately for me, it was completely true." He took a deep breath. "But you want to be with Brian. If you forgive him and get back together, where is that going to leave me?"
"What are you saying, Ant?" Justin asked, a little fearful that the answer would change things permanently.
"I'm saying that the only person I would give up tricking and all the other shit for is you. If I had a shot with you, it would change everything." Anthony admitted.
Justin didn't know what to say. He hadn't considered that Anthony actually had feelings for him. When he'd tried to seduce him, he thought that Anthony would comfort him and then things would be just like they always were.
"I shouldn't have told you." Anthony shook his head and left the room.
Justin stayed sitting on the bed and considered what Anthony's admission meant for their relationship. He worried that Anthony's feelings for him being out in the open would ruin the closeness that they had and the thought of that terrified him. He didn't think he'd be able to get through things if he didn't have Anthony in his life. That thought made him wonder about his own feelings for his best friend.
~knock, knock~
Hearing the knock, Justin stepped out of his room and went to answer it. He had heard Anthony's bedroom door close and knew that his friend wasn't going to get up to open the door. He peaked out the peep hole and saw Brian standing there. He was thrown off and took a moment to get his composure back before opening the door.
"Hey." Brian said, looking as though his only hope would be that Justin wouldn't slam the door in his face.
"Hey." Justin replied. They stood there for several moments in silence before Justin opened the door a little wider to let Brian in. "You came back."
"I wanted to explain what happened." Brian's voice came out hoarse.
"Come in my room." Justin said quietly. He wasn't so sure he wanted Anthony to hear their conversation. He felt like he was in a whirlwind and wasn't sure he was prepared to hear what Brian had to say, but he felt like letting him at least explain would be the mature thing to do.
Once they were in Justin's room, the door shut firmly, Brian began to speak. "Mikey found out last night. He met me at school and we went back to the apartment so I could shower and change for dinner." Brian paused. "He heard your message."
"And?" Justin wasn't sure where Brian was going.
"I don't know if he'll get over this one." Brian looked like he was going to cry. "He said that he hates me."
"Why did you go to Babylon after this happened? Why couldn't you come talk to me?" Justin asked sadly.
"I'm not used to having someone to talk to. Ever since I moved out of my parent's place when I was 18, I've been on my own. Sure, I had Daphne and Michael, but until recently I haven't been much for opening up. When it came to something that was really bothering me, I always took the easy road and clouded everything with booze and sex." Brian decided that if there was any chance of him getting Justin back, he'd have to be completely open.
"Can you learn?" Justin asked quietly. "Can you learn to turn to me first?"
"Do you want me to?" Brian asked.
"Of course I want you to."
"Ant told me that you wouldn't ever want to see me again." Brian said. "I thought it was true. I kind of thought I'd come here and explain and still lose you."
Justin finally reached out and touched Brian, taking his hand. "I don't want that to happen." He said honestly. Brian wrapped his arms around Justin and held him tight. He felt a tremendous weight lifted from his shoulders.
"What now?" Brian asked after he and Justin had broken from the hug.
"Tell me the truth. Do you still want to trick?"
"Want to? No. But I can't make you any promises." Brian took a deep breath. "You make me want to try and be a good person. I'm not going to promise that I won't fuck up. I don't wanna be another Jonny."
"I respect that." Justin said.
"But is it enough?"
"You promise to try?"
"I promise to try."
"Me too." Justin smiled and hugged Brian again. "Can I come by tonight? Spend the night?"
"Of course." Brian smiled. "Are you kicking me out now?"
"There's something I have to do." Justin said, thinking of Anthony. He knew that he needed to speak with him before things festered and got permanently fucked up.
"Ok. I'll see you tonight then." Brian smiled. He and Justin held hands as they walked towards the door. "Thank you, Justin." He said quietly.
"Anytime." Justin beamed. He gave Brian a quick kiss and then ushered him out the door. He wasn't looking forward to having to tell Anthony that he didn't return his feelings, but he knew it had to be done so that they could salvage their friendship.
Justin knocked on Anthony's door and waited. Moments later, he heard a muffled invitation to come in the room. Justin found Ant laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Anthony looked Justin straight in the eye when he sat down the bed.
"So? Are you two back together?" Justin nodded. "I'm happy for you."
"Ant..." Justin began. He didn't know what to say.
"You don't have to say anything, Justin. I didn't ask you to run away with me and be my husband, ok? I just told you that I couldn't sleep with you without it meaning something." Anthony didn't want to sound as angry as he did, but he couldn't help it.
"So, we can just go back to being arch enemies?" Justin raised an eyebrow in an attempt to make his best friend laugh.
"Yup, arch enemies it is!" Ant grinned. He was happy that Justin wasn't going to draw out some big emotional scene, he hated that shit. "Wanna get a pizza?"
"For breakfast?"
"GOD! Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?" Anthony laughed and launched himself at Justin, tickling him into submission. "Now, do you wanna get a pizza?"
"Yes!" Justin exclaimed, trying to get his breath back. When Anthony smiled, Justin hugged him. "I'm glad I didn't fuck things up this morning."
"Stop with the sentimental shit, J. I want pizza, not tears a la Oprah, alright?" Anthony stood and pulled Justin to his feet.
"You're such a boy!" Justin teased, sticking out his tongue.
"Uh uh, honey, I'm all man." Anthony grinned. "Now hurry up. I need pizza like now!"
"Geez, you're such a slave driver!" Justin gave a melodramatic sigh. "No wonder you're my arch enemy."
"I'm gunna go arch enemy on your ass if you don't get crackin!" Anthony threatened teasingly, throwing his friend into the hall and closing the door to get dressed.
Justin stood in the hallway beaming. "Everything will be fine." He said happily before walking into his room to get dressed.
***
"So, did he dump your sorry ass?" Daphne asked when Brian walked into the apartment. Brian walked over to the table where she was sitting and sat down.
"He's giving me another shot." Brian didn't seem as happy about it as Daphne would have thought.
"Were you hoping to get dumped?" Daphne asked with a raised eyebrow.
This brought Brian out of his stupor and he stared at her. "No! I'm so happy that he's giving me another chance. I just feel like I have to prove something to him now. Like, I have to prove that I'm a good boyfriend." Brian shook his head. "I hate the word boyfriend. It sounds so junior high. Blech."
"Well, if you're going to be the perfect boyfriend, you're going to have to get used to the word boyfriend." Daphne chuckled.
"I want to treat him better than he's ever been treated." Brian said firmly. He surprised himself entirely by meaning it.
"Have you two had any real dates?"
"What do you mean by real date?" Brian asked making a face.
"I mean, have you gotten dressed up nice and taken him out? Brought him flowers?" Daphne chuckled at her friend's complete lack of knowledge on romance.
Brian groaned. "That shit is so hetero! Why can't I get dressed up in the hottest thing I own and take him to Babylon?"
"You're joking, right?" Daphne asked slowly. "Tell me you don't actually think that taking him to Babylon is romantic!"
"Well..."
"GOD! We need to do something about you." Daphne grabbed his arm and pulled him to the door. "We're going to go get him a little gift and some flowers and you can go over to his apartment and surprise him."
"You want me to buy his affections?"
"No! I want you to make him feel special." She slapped him in the arm. "I'm going to turn you into the perfect boyfriend."
"Ok, Doctor Frankenstein..." Brian chuckled. "Let's go to it."
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