Thursday travesty 26oct01

Thursday travesty 26oct01

Crowd chants of “G-Z-W” echo throughout the Coliseum as a slight tall muscular built Caucasian man walks to the announce table

at the entranceway. The man is clean-shaven, with his hair slicked back into a ponytail, and round wire framed glasses on. He

removes his black suit jacket, holding his red designer tie against his chest as he takes a seat at the table. The mysterious man

puts on the headset as pyro shoots into the Coliseum air as “What A Girl Wants” by Christina Aguilera booms over the sound

system.

Man: Hello everyone, welcome to Thursday Night Travesty! I am your host for tonight’s shindig, Memphis Pike. It seems as that I

was the only one available in the back, so I decided to come out here and host this great event! What a show we have for you

GZW-holics tonight! First on the lineup is a barn burner as the new and improved Epic teams with that dastardly villain Eclipse to

take on the “Hobo of GZW” Diamond and the oh so loveable “Entertainment Franchise” Nathaniel Davis!

The camera scans the crowd as they pop with excitement from seeing themselves on the Zero-tron.

Pike: We really get to see who is the most Extreme wrestler in GZW when the Extreme title is placed on the line in a FourWay

Table Match! The reigning Extreme Champion, Big Country, is on a severe roll as he has faced and beaten any and all challengers!

Will Bubba Sparxxs Jr. have what it takes to survive against the New Era wrestlers, Adam Cage, Pitfighter, and Gangzta?

An intern runs onto the stage and whispers something to Pike. Only the words “Hurry up” and “Talking too much” are overheard. Pike

smiles and nods his head.

Pike: Well it seems as if we are ready for our first matchup tonight! So I’ll send this down to ringside to Will and Dean “MultiTalented

One” Fisher! Take it away guys, I just got a craving for some Dunkin’ Donuts!

---Tag Team Match: Eclipse and “Mr.Risky Business” Epic vs. Diamond and Nathaniel “Entertainment Franchise” Davis---

Will: now its time for the tag-team match between Ecwipse & Epic, who face Davis, and Diamond Swedge

Dean: the double E’s vs the Double D’s you could say!..... and personally I prefer double E sized breasts!

Will: pwease this is a famiwy show!

Dean: and this is how family is made! hahahaha, and as for the comments of Hunt of me owing him $30 for tickets to the Triple SEXXX festival, I think he’ll find that he owes me $20 after, the accessories I had to buy for him!

Will: pwease no detail!

Dean: you don’t know what you missed!

(“Mr Writer” by the Sterophonics begins to play on the PA system, Epic, and Eclipse emerge at the top of the rampway, and are met by a chorus of boos from the crowd, Epic & Eclipse are giving them V signs, as they walk down to the ring)

Will: how diswespectfuw to our fans!

Dean: who needs fans, when you are as great as these two guys, and are such great businessmen, and hang around with the greatest business man of all Mr Clancy McClean

Will: *cough* Suckup *cough*

(Epic, and Eclipse parade around the ring, continueing to give V signs to the crowd, as “Funky Cold Madina” by Tone Loc begins to play on the PA system)

Will: and Diamond isn’t going to wet these two insuwt the fans any more!

Dean: the dumb idiot will ge assaulted instead!

(Diamond comes out from the back, and runs down to the ring, he slides into the ring, and Epic and Eclipse are quickly onto him)

Dean: the dumb idiot look what Clancy McClean is createing in that ring now! he is teaching Epic that business is cold and hard, and that is exactly what Epic is being to his ex tag-team partner Diamond!

(Epic, and Eclipse begin to stomp on Diamond, Epic picks up Diamond and slaps him across his face, and whips him into the ropes, he bounces off, clotheslines Epic down but is then taken down with a forearm to his back, by Eclipse)

Will: this is howwible! they are attacking him 2 on 1, this is not how the match is ment to be

Dean: yes but its sure as hell a clever way to be! nobody can beat these two on one, especially Diamond!

(Eclipse picks up Diamond, and whips him into the corner, and follows up with a spear in the corner)

Dean: ahahahahahaha, don’t you just love seeing Diamond being taken apart?

Will: no this act is dispicable! and something needs to be done about this!

(Epic, slides to the outside, and picks up a steal chair that he folds in, and slides back into the ring, meanwhile Eclipse is laying in some European upercuts to Diamond)

Will: where the hell is Davis?

(Epic, bangs the steal chair on the floor, and as he does Davis comes running out ot no theme music, he slides into the ring, and as Epic is about to swing the chair, grabs the chair from behind, he takes the chair throughs it to the outside, Epic turns around and gets knocked to the mat with a right hand)

Dean: noooooo why doesn’t Davis just mind his own business?

Will: ‘cos Diamond is his tag-team partner in this match!

(Epic, gets back up again, and is kocked down by a right hand again, same happens again untill Eclipse comes over and he is also met by a right hand, Davis then picks up Eclipse and tosses him to the outside, and picks up Epic, and drops him with a scoop slam)

Will: finawwy Davis is here and is saving Diamonds day!

Dean: its too late look at Diamond already, he’s already lying on nthe floor, its a sign he’s unfit you know!

Will: he’s a damn sight fitter thanyou are!

Dean: thats not true I go jogging once a week you know!

Will: weawwy?

Dean: yea that woman round the corner id damn fine!

(Davis picks up Epic again and puts him up on his shoulder, he starts to run, but Epic slides down the back, and pushes Davis into the turnbuckle, Davis bounces off, and Epic rolls him up in a schoolboy)

ONE.....

Will: earwy cover by Epic here!

TWO..........

Dean: stay down French fry hehehe

(KICKOUT)

Will: I don’t think Davis wikes being cawwed an Entertaining Fwench Fwy!

Dean: whoever said anything about him being entertaining?

Will: his nickname!

Dean: well if you want entertaining you should see me on a Friday night

Will: kids are watching this you know!

Dean: they’ll have to learn one day

(Davis is quickly to his feet, and he flips himself up, as he does, Epic, runs back to his corner, and tags in Eclipse)

Dean: yea come on Eclipse show Davis that you have been held back all these months you have been in GZW

Will: weww he has his chance to pwove himsewf now!

(Eclipse reluctantly enters the ring, he looks over at Davis, who signals for Eclipse to COME ON, Eclipse charges at Davis, but is met byu a big boot from Davis)

Dean: noooooo, this yayhoo is causing damage here!

Will: yayhoo?

Dean: Big galoot, idiot, etc!

(Davis whips Eclipse into his corner, Davis walks over, and lays in a couple of knife-edge chops in on Eclipse before taging in Diamond)

Dean: look at this scruber! he’s dirty, and damn well annoying look at his clothes does he ever wash?

Will: thats mean!, besides he no wonger has a pwace to wash since Epic kicked him out!

Dean: so bloody what not like he was paying rent or anything!

Will: they were best fwiends for gods sake!

Dean: no Diamond, was a friedn in need, and a friend in need is a pest!

(Diamond grabs hold of Eclipse by his hair, and lifts knee up into hisa face, he tosses him over to his corner, Eclipse looks over at Diamond, who justmpoints to Epic)

Will: I think Diamond wants a piece of Epic here!

Dean: well he thinks he does, he doesn’t really, Epic will take him apart

(from the crowd, jumps over Clancy McClean silver briefcase in hand, he belts it over the back of Davis, who stands over by his corner, meanwhile Diamond, stands unaware still pointing at Epic, trying to get into the ring)

Will: no McCwean interfering in again, the same way he did wast week!

Dean: never change a winning strategy

Will: and Diamond is stiww unaware of whats happening!

(Epic, tags himself in, and begins to make his way into the ring, Clancy slides into the ring, and hits Diamond over the back with the silver briefcase)

(DING DING DING)

Will: the weferee has cawwed for the beww, and Diamond & Davis win by disquawification!

Dean: they don’t look like winners though! look at them go at it, laying whatever they can on Diamond!

Will: how can they condone there actions?

Dean: simple it was a business decision! hahahaha

(Clancy goes to the outside, and rolls Davis into the ring, Epic picks him up, but Dacis begins to fight back, he lays a right, then left on Epic, and takes him to the ropes, but then is hity again on the back with the silver briefcase, this time by Eclipse)

Dean: look at the carnage in the ring, its like a piece of art!

Will: its sickening!

(all three men continue to stomp away on Davis, and Diamond, Diamond, is busted open from a second shot by Epic with th briefcase)

Dean: look at the distruction in the ring!

Will: pwease have some mercy!

(Gideon now comes running down to the ring steel chair in hand, he slides into the ring, Clancy McClean slides out, and pulls Eclipse with him, but Epic gets nailed with the steel chair that sends him over the top rope)

Will: waaaaheyyyyyy the “Far East Beast” has saved the day! what a show of courage from Gideon there!

Dean: nooooo, Gideon has just ruined this beutiful scene!

(Gideon tends to both Diamond and Davi who lay on the mat, as he stares at Clancy, Eclipse with Epic on his shoulder walking up the rampway)

Will: you have got to bewieve there wiww be heww to pay for Risky Business!

Dean: I think theres going to be hell to pay for Gideon!

The camera cuts back to Pike sitting at the host table at the top of the entranceway stage. He is holding a handheld mirror and

slicking back his hair. He notices something from the side, and hastily puts the mirror down.

Pike: Someone should tell me when I’m back on the air!! Anyway, what a tag team we had there, folks! This feud between Eclipse,

Epic, CMC, Diamond, Davis, and Gideon is really heating up! Speaking of tag teams, later on into the show the Tag Team

Champions, T-Rex and Sincere will put their titles on the line against Nazal and Willie Haire! But way before that let’s send it back

down to ringside to Will and Dean!

---Extreme Championship: Fourway Table Match: Adam Cage vs. Pitfighter vs. Gangzta vs. Big Country---

[*”Off The Wall” by Eminem and Redman kicks in as Big Country makes his way down the ramp with the Extreme Title around his waist. The crowd boos him as he makes his way around the ring. Gangzta, Adam Cage, and Pitfighter come running down the ramp and jumps Big Country before he can get into the ring.*]

Gangzta stomps away on the downed Country as Pitfighter and Adam begin to go at it. Adam whips Pitfighter into the announcer’s table. Adam charges in but Pitfighter hits a back body drop and sends him over the table and behind the commentator’s.

Dean: Incoming!!

Will: Watch out.

Country gets to his feet and grabs Gangzta around the throat and throws him into the ring post. Country looks under the ring and pulls out a table and sets it up just a few feet away from Gangzta.

Dean: This match may end quickly.

Country hooks Gangzta and looks for a snap suplex but he blocks it and lifts Country up and slams him down onto the stairs. Pitfighter lifts Adam up and sets him on top of the announcer’s table and signals for the end. He lifts Adam up in a powerbomb position but Adam rolls over his shoulders and hooks him on the way down slamming Pitfighter down with a powerbomb of his own.

Will: He saved our tabwe.

Dean: I think he was just trying to save his ass.

Adam makes the cover but the ref refuses to count it. Adam goes over to yell at the ref as Gangzta comes flying into the screen taking out Adam. Country climbs to the top rope and leaps off nailing a big elbow to the downed Pitfighter.

Dean: That was some massive air by Big C.

Will: Indeed.

Country lifts Pitfighter up to his feet and rolls him into the ring followed by Gangzta and Adam Cage. Country slides into the ring and stomps away on Gangzta as he tries to get to his feet. Adam Cage gets to his feet and sneaks up behind Country and nails him with a release German suplex. He runs over and stomps on the back of Country’s head as he tries to stand. Pitfighter lifts Gangzta to his feet and hits him with a swinging neckbreaker. Adam lifts Country up and whips him into the turnbuckle. He charges in and nails a massive spear to his midsection. Country slouches in the corner as Adam stomps away on him. Adam climbs to the top rope and steps off driving both feet into the groin of Big C.

Dean: Holy shit!!!! Did you see that move?

Will: Big Country won’t be having any kids anytime soon.

Dean: That’s a permanent deal.

Country grabs his groin and yells in pain as Adam stomps away on him. Gangzta slides out of the ring and pulls a table out from under the ring and slides it into the ring. Adam spots the table and charges in and slides into the table and knocks it into the chest of Gangzta sending him into the guardrail. Pitfighter charges in and leaps over nailing Gangzta with a massive plancha. Big C gets to his feet slowly still holding his “jewels.” He makes his way to the ropes and slides out of the ring. He grabs Adam and throws him into the guardrail. Country stomps away on him but Pitfighter nails Country with a low blow causing him to drop to one knee. Pitfighter rears back and nails Country in the side of the head with a Tajiri style kick. Gangzta sets the table up behind Pitfighter and stands on top of it. Pitfighter turns around as Gangzta leaps off and nails a hurricanranna to him. Adam gets to his feet and lifts Country to his feet. He lifts him up into a powerbomb position and turns his attention to the table but Gangzta kicks the table out of the way as Adam slams Country down.

Dean: Country not looking like a champion right now.

Will: He certainwy isn’t.

Gangzta lifts Pitfighter up and throws him into the crowd and goes after him leaving Adam Cage and Big Country alone. Adam sets the table up against the stairs and points at it then Country. Country gets to his feet and charges at Adam but he sides steps him and Country slams on the breaks before hitting the table. He turns around as Adam nails him in the face with a kick knocking him into the table but it doesn’t give way.

Dean: Adam Cage thinks he won. He’s celebrating to early.

Country charges at Adam and nails him from behind with a closeline knocking him into the ring post. Country grabs the back of his head slams him into the pole several times busting him open. Country gets in Adam face and starts to taunt him.

Dean: Country is talking smack to Adam.

Will: He better concentrate on the match.

Country grabs Adam and whips him in the direction of the table but he reverses it and throws Country into the table breaking it.

Dean: Holy cow Adam Cage is the new champion.

[*The ref hands Adam the Extreme Title as he looks at it and smiles. Gangzta and Pitfighter continue battling it out in the crowd as Adam makes his way to the back.*]

Dean: Someone needs to tell Pitfighter and Gangzta the match is over with.

Will: This couwd go on aww night.

Dean: Nah security will eventually tire of watching them attempt to wrestle.

---Commercial Break---

The commercial ends returning the scene to the host table which Pike is not there but down along the rampway guardrails signing

autographs. A camera taps him on the shoulder and points back up to the entranceway stage. Pike smiles at the camera and bolts

back up to the host table. Huffing and puffing he puts the headset on and slicks back his hair.

Pike: Can never do too much for GZW public relations! On the subject of public relations, what is really going on with Celestia

“Mooncat” L’yark and “Kool Hand” Luke LaVerne? And if there is something blossoming, Lez sure did forget about Sho “Firefly”

Murakame awfully fast! Ah, to be young and in love! Let’s send it back down to ringside with the currently unemployed

uWu / parttime GZW announcers, Billy and Jennifer!

---Non-Title Television Championship Match: “The Sleepwalker” Yiroshi Takenbu vs. Jason Makavelli---

[*”Rap Superstar” by Cypress Hill kicks in around the Coliseum as Jason Makavelli makes his way down the ramp with the TV Title around his waist and his arm around Helen’s shoulder. The crowd erupts with a huge face pop as he slides into the ring and holds the title above his head.*]

Billy: The crowd loves Jason you can tell that’s for sure.

Jennifer: They sure do. Now you see why he’s the TV Champion.

[*”The Heretic Anthym” by Slipknot kicks in as Yiroshi Takenbu makes his way down the ramp. The crowd gives a mixed reaction to the man as he slides into the ring and paces it back and forth.*]

Billy: This should be a good match. I’m glad the GZW is allowing us to call this match.

Jennifer: I agree with you on both accounts.

Billy: What’s new with that? You always agree with me.

Jennifer: Sure Billy.

Jason and Yiroshi lock up and Yiroshi nails the quick advantage with a side headlock. Jason shoots him into the ropes and leaps over him on the return. Yiroshi bounces off the ropes and charges at Jason looking for a closeline but he ducks it causing Yiroshi to hit the ropes again. He goes for a back body drop but Yiroshi slams on the breaks and hooks both of Jason’s arms and lifts him into the air slamming him down with a thunderous Tigerdriver. Yiroshi makes the cover and hooks both legs.

One

Two

Kickout

Jason rolls his shoulder at the last possible moment. Helen slams her hands on the mat trying to rally Jason.

Billy: Check out Helen tonight. She’s hot, I wonder if I can get her number.

Jennifer: I wonder what Jason would think if he knew you were hitting on his girl.

Billy: Once Yiroshi gets done with him there won’t be enough left to even come close to pleasing her.

Yiroshi lifts Jason to his feet and nails a massive over the head belly-to-belly suplex. Jason lands hard on the mat and rolls to the outside to buy some time. Helen runs over to try and revive Jason and get him back into the match. Yiroshi charges the ropes and leaps over looking for a cross body block but Jason side steps him causing him to hit the hard floor.

Billy: Hot shit! That had to hurt.

Jennifer: Billy watch your mouth. This isn’t the ECW.

Billy: No it’s the *doing RVD taunt* G-Z-W.

Jennifer: Oh lord.

Jason lifts Yiroshi to his feet and rolls him into the ring. Jason climbs to the top rope and waits for him to get to his feet. Yiroshi stumbles to his feet and turns around to face Jason as he leaps off the top rope nailing a hurricanranna. Jason crawls over and makes the cover hooking the leg.

One

Two

Kickout

Billy: Close but no Cuban Cigar.

Jason applies a side arm bar and cranks in as the crowd cheers. Yiroshi gets to his feet and pushes Jason into the ropes. He whips him across the ring and goes for a right hand but Jason ducks it causing him to bounce on the far ropes. Jason hooks the ropes as Yiroshi goes for a dropkick causing him to come crashing to the ground. Jason runs over and climbs to the top rope. He leaps off looking for a Moonsault but Yiroshi rolls out of the way causing him to come crashing into the mat. Yiroshi lifts Jason up and applies a sleeper hold and swings him around like a rag doll. The ref goes to check on Jason but Yiroshi swings Jason’s legs right into the ref knocking him to the ground. Yiroshi lifts Jason up and slams him to the ground with a release sleeperhold. He makes the cover and hooks the leg.

Billy: He has this match won but there’s no ref.

Deacon Kane comes striding down the ramp and steps into the ring. Yiroshi sees him and goes to nail him with a right hand but Deacon swats it and spins him around. He hooks him around the back of his head lifts him up and slams him down with a reverse chokeslam.

Jennifer: Did you see that!? What a move. But what is he doing down here?

Billy: Why don’t you go ask him?

Jason gets to his feet and sees this. Jason charges at him but Deacon nails him with a closeline knocking him to the ground. He drags his body and lays it over Yiroshi’s prone body. Deacon climbs out of the ring as the ref comes to. The ref sees the cover and starts the count.

One

Two

Three!

Jennifer: Talk about a rip off.

[*The ref hands Jason his title as Helen runs in to check on her boyfriend. Yiroshi rolls out of the ring clutching his face and staring at the ramp and Deacon Kane.*]

Deacon: (mic in hand) Yiroshi, welcome to GZW! I am The Future not you New Era pukes. Tonight I have allowed you a small morsel of the destruction that I have in store for any and all. I remember your answer to my challenge and it will not go unheeded!

[*Deacon walks to the backstage as Yiroshi continues up the ramp.*]

Billy: What an impressive match that was.

Jennifer: To bad it had to end like that.

Memphis Pike is sitting at the host table mesmerized at the GZW Heavyweight Champion. His stare follows the big man backstage,

until Yiroshi passes him.

Pike: Better luck next time, Yiroshi! Man, although it was a non-title affair, the New Era kid almost came off with a huge upset victory

over our TV Champion, Fubu, I mean Jason Makavelli! After this commercial we have the GZW Tag Team Championship match.

Before the commercial I would like to introduce everyone out there to three aspiring announcers looking to find fulltime work here on

Travesty who will be announcing the match. Everyone give a huge pop for Patrick Nelson, Joshua Samson, and Todd Crumb.

The entire Coliseum explodes with cheers as the three rookie announcers make their way down the rampway and toward the

announce table near ringside.

---Commercial break---

---Tag Team Championship Match: Nazal and Willie Haire vs. “The Enforcer” T-Rex and “Jade Dragon” Sincere---

Patrick Nelson: Up next is the Tag Team title match! Can the Haires wrestle away the tag belts from the unlikely champs?

"Natural Blues" by Moby plays on the Coliseum speakers as the Haires make their way to the ring. Willie lets out a loud "woo" as Nazal high fives the fans along the aisle.

Todd Crumb: The Irish father and son team of the Haires are looking to pull off a major upset over the Champs!

Joshua Samson: What they need to do is pull off a major shower or bath! Phew!

Next to the ring is “The Jade Dragon” Sincere along with his wife, Forever. Sincere stands on the stage holding up the GZW Tag Team belt for the fans to see. The fans show Sincere what they think of him with boos and references to human orifices.

“I AM NUMBER ONE!!!!”

Next out is T-Rex, the co-holder of the Tag Team titles. The fans give a completely different reaction as they rise to their feet for their fan favorite.

Nelson: The fans are clearly behind the Enforcer!

Samson: He can have the fans! Who needs them?

Crumb: If it wasn’t for them, Samson, you wouldn’t be getting paid and still broadcasting for dark matches and house shows!

All four men are in the ring. Willie and Sincere start off the match for their respective teams. Sincere taunts the Irish Rover to his face. Willie unloads with a series of right hands, rocking the head of the high and mighty Sincere. Willie with an Irish whip followed by a hiptoss. Sincere clutches his back as the crowd pops. Sincere slowly gets to his feet.

Crumb: He shouldn’t be taking the Haires so lightly!

Samson: Get real! Sincere has held every major title in this company!

Nelson: And so he has lost every major title as well!

The two men tie up. Sincere with a kneelift to the midsection doubles over Willie. Sincere with several elbow smashes to the back of the neck. Sincere then slaps on a side headlock. He grinds in the headlock. Willie backs up a step and shoots off Sincere into the ropes. Sincere ducks a clothesline. Sincere bounces off the ropes and Willie picks him up and drops him with a sideslam. The crowd is going wild. Nazal tags into the match.

Nelson: The Haires are looking sharp tonight!

Samson: They’re idiots! It won’t last long!

Crumb: Our first gig on primetime GZW and Samson has to act like this!

Nazal and Willie pounds Sincere down to the mat with Demolition-style double axhandles. As Willie goes back to the corner, Nazal drops Sincere with a backbreaker. He then applies a rear chinlock with a knee in the back of Sincere. Sincere struggles but finally does make it to the ropes. Nazal breaks the hold and then locks on a side headlock on Sincere. Sincere tries to push him off into the ropes, but Nazal holds on tight, not releasing the side headlock.

Nelson: Nazal is holding on tight. The Haires want the belts bad!

Samson: Yeah, they could sell the gold to buy their hick town a new black and white TV!

Crumb: Bet you wouldn’t say that to there face?

Nazal still locks in the side headlock. Sincere grabs Nazal’s waist and counters by dropping him with a belly to back suplex. Sincere shakes the cobwebs as he slowly gets up. Sincere lifts up Nazal and rocks his head with a series of European uppercuts. Irish whip by Sincere and he nails Nazal with a tiltawhirl slam. Sincere then goes to his corner and tags in Rex with a hard slap.

Nelson: Here comes T-Rex!

Crumb: T-Rex has really been on a roll as of late winning the Tag Team Championship as well as the second Contest of Champions to be the co-number one contender for the IC belt!

Samson: Yeah, but he’s a cheater! I mean he isn’t even divorced from his wife Angel, but he is living with the mutt ugly broad Shannon!

Rex gets in the ring as Sincere yells at him to go get Nazal. Rex goes after Nazal not because Sincere told him, but because he wants to keep the titles as well. Rex with stiff right hands. Whip by Rex followed with an explosive mafia kick, dropping Nazal. Nazal slowly gets up. Rex with a clothesline sends Nazal back down to the mat. Rex whips Nazal to the ropes. Rex with a spinebuster on Nazal.

Nelson: T-Rex is really on fire here!

Samson: I wish he really was burning!

Crumb: Grow up, Samson!

Rex gets up. Sincere is yelling at Rex about something. Rex comes over and the Tag Champs have heated words. This gives Nazal time to get up. Nazal turns Rex around and then nails a belly to belly suplex on Rex.

Nelson: Sincere’s and T-Rex’s indifferences are coming into play!

Samson: That T-Rex is not a very social guy. I wouldn’t blame Sincere!

Crumb: I can’t work under these conditions!

Nazal tags in Willie. The Haires lift up Rex and drop him over their knees with a double gutbuster. Nazal goes back to the corner. Willie nails an overhead belly to belly on the taller Rex. The Enforcer slowly gets up as the crowd cheers him on. Willie comes over and locks on a front facelock. Sincere comes into the ring, wanting a piece of Willie. The ref cuts him off. With the ref distracted, Rex makes it to the ropes, but there is no ref to enforce a ropebreak.

Crumb: Sincere is costing his partner!

Samson: Lies and acquisitions! Prove it!

Nelson: Open your eyes!

Willie holds onto the front facelock and drags Rex to the middle of the ring. The fans are at a fever pitch, cheering on Rex. Rex counters the front facelock by grabbing Willie’s waist and dropping him with an inverted atomic drop. Willie lays on the mat, clutching his "jewels", as Rex slowly crawls to the corner to make a tag. But Willie gets to his feet first and nails Rex with an axhandle, denying the tag.

Samson: Damn that T-Rex! Too damn slow!

Nelson and Crumb: …

Willie drags Rex to the corner and tags in Nazal. Both Haires hammer away on Rex with punches. They both whip him to the ropes. Rex ducks a double clothesline attempt. Rex is behind the Haires and nails them both with a double reverse DDT. The crowd is on their feet.

Nelson: T-Rex is going to the corner…he makes the tag!

Samson: Sincere will show him how it is done!

Sincere comes into the ring and nails Willie with a flying forearm smash. He then kicks Nazal in the gut and takes him over with a double arm suplex. Sincere is on fire as he then clotheslines Willie out of the ring. Sincere tags in Rex back into the match. The tag team champs go to work on Nazal, beating him down with right hands to the head. The tag champs whip Nazal to the ropes and nails a double spinebuster.

Nelson: The tag champs working as a team? Will wonders never cease!

Samson: Guess T-Rex is getting with the program!

Crumb: How long is your tongue?

Sincere and Rex stand in the ring as Nazal is laying on the mat. Sincere turns to Rex…and then kicks him in the stomach and drops him with a Sincerely Yours (double underhook powerbomb).

Nelson and Crumb: What the hell?!?

Nazal slowly gets up. Sincere kicks him in the gut and drops a Sincerely Yours on him as well. Nazal falls to the mat and rolls on top of Rex. Sincere gets out of the ring with a cocky and arrogant smile. The ref counts the inadverted cover.

Nelson and Crumb: WHAT THE HELL??

Samson: The professor of psychological warfare and mastermind of mindgames!

1…2…

Nelson: Three!!! The Haires are the new GZW Tag Team Champs!! Sincere just screwed T-Rex!!

Sincere goes back up the rampway, looking back at the ring. The surprised new champ, Willie is handed a tag team belt as Nazal and Rex are still laying in the ring.

Nelson: There will be hell to pay and tons of explaining from that man, Sincere!!

Crumb: I agree!

Samson: What is there to explain? Sincere told Rexy to concentrate on the title he has! Rexy decided not to, so Sincere had to show him who the man is!

Nelson: On behalf of Todd Crumb and Joshua Samson, I’m Patrick Nelson saying thanks for having us here! Travesty will continue after this commercial break!

---Commercial Break---

Pike: We have finally reached our main event of the night and it is definitely going to keep you on the edge of your seat! The

skateboard kid LaVerne is looking to extract some measure of revenge on the Hitman of HKWF! It has been Taylor, by order of

Tate Troublesome, who has been viciously attacking LaVerne any and every chance he gets! I now send this down to ringside to Siu

Ann Wong and Jackie Lee! Hey Siu Ann, since your date with Firefly didn’t pan out, how about dinner with me? I know a great spot

where they serve jelly filled donuts!

---Main Event: LightHeavyweight Championship: “Kool Hand” Luke LaVerne vs. “Lone Gunman” John Taylor---

Siu Ann Wong:

“Welcome back to Travesty everyone! Up next is our main event title-match pitting ‘Kool Hand’ Luke Laverne against the Light-heavyweight champion and HKWF Hitman, ‘Lone Gunman’ John Taylor. I’m Siu Ann Wong, and beside me is…”

Jackie Lee:

“Jackie Lee! Konichuwa!”

Siu Ann:

“Why DO you say that Jackie? You’re NOT Japanese!”

Jackie:

“Because it’s a cool word, and I am cool! I’d like to point out at this point that Siu Ann and Myself are commentating on ANOTHER main event! Finally we’re getting the recognition we deserve! Anyway Siu Ann, let’s talk about you! How’d your date with Firefly go? Ah hahahahahahahahaha!”

Siu Ann:

“How’s it feel to get beaten up by a 4ft 10 old lady?”

Jackie:

“At least I…”

Jackie is cut off by Kool’s music, “The Message” by Mike Peters and the Poets of Justice, hitting the speakers. The crowd cheers for the skater, who is accompanied to the ring by ‘Mooncat’ Celestia L’yark. He carries his board, and she has her steel chair with a moon painted on it.

Jackie:

“Look at these two cheaters! They’ve bought weapons to the ring!”

Siu Ann:

“Doesn’t mean they’re going to use them! They may well need them if Tate Troublesome decides to attack Luke again!”

Kool and Mooncat get in the ring, and await the entrance of Gunman. “Left Behind” by Slipknot, Gunman’s new music, hit the PA and he appears on the entranceway holding his title belt up in the air. The crowd boo loudly as he arrogantly makes his way to the ring.

Jackie:

“Lone Gunman is the greatest champion this division has ever had! I can’t believe that the crowd is booing him!”

Siu Ann:

“It’s because his attitude stinks!”

Gunman gets in the ring and does an extremely crude gesture to Lez, putting his finger in his mouth signifying… ( OOC:<grin> work it out.)

Jackie:

“Ah hahahahahaha!”

Siu Ann:

“That is a disgrace! How dare he be so obscene?!”

Lez erupts with anger and goes for him with the chair! He ducks and she misses by inches She is about to go for another shot but the ref grabs the chair out of her hand and points to the back! He shouts at her to leave ringside.

Jackie:

“Too right! Damn cheater interfering!”

Siu Ann:

“She was heavily provoked!”

Lez appeals to the ref, but he isn’t taking no for an answer! Reluctantly, Lez heads to the back, and the bell rings.

Jackie:

“See you Lezzy!”

Siu Ann:

“You’re mean Jackie!”

Gunman sneers at Kool, and flips him off. Kool steams in and gets dropped with a drop toehold. He quickly gets up but is armdragged back down. His up again, but Gunman drops him with a jumping hiptoss.

Jackie:

“Kool lost his cool and now he’s getting cooled off!”

Kool gets up slowly, holding his back, and glares at Gunman. Gunman sneers again, and flips him off again!

Siu Ann:

“Gunman’s disrespect is limitless!”

Kool turns to the fans, and encourages…

“GUNMAN SUCKS!

“GUNMAN SUCKS!”

Gunman is angered by this and starts stomping around the ring, trying to shut them up. He turns around to get a flipping dropkick that sends him over the top rope!

Jackie:

“What a cheat! He should be disqualified! The CROWD just interfered in the match for him!”

Siu Ann:

“Only you could claim that the crowd interfered!”

Smooth jumps onto the top rope and as Gunman gets up his a cross body to the outside of the ring! The crowd cheer wildly! He pulls up Gunman and smashes him against the barricade with a Russian Leg sweep!

Siu Ann:

“Owy, owy, ow!”

Jackie:

“Disqualify him ref! Count him out! Kool’s cheating!”

The ref gets outside the ring and starts to tell Kool to get it in the ring. With this distraction, Gunman takes the opportunity to hit a low blow from behind! He then Irish whips Kool into the steel steps!

Siu Ann:

“What a cheat that was by Gunman!”

Jackie:

“Kool just happened to fall onto those steps! You need your eyes tested Siu Ann!”

Gunman gets back into the ring and taunts the fans. Kool is sat back to the steps with a look of pain on his face. The ref starts to count him out. However, Kool has rolled back into the ring by 5. Gunman charges and nails a clothesline that floors Kool. As Kool staggers to his feet, Gunman runs to the ropes, springboards, flips in mid-air and hits a huge, high impact forearm smash right between Kool’s eyes! He hooks the leg for a cover.

Siu Ann:

“Goodness gracious, what athleticism! What power! This really could be all for Luke Laverne!”

1…

2…

3… NO!

Kool’s shoulder is up on the last millisecond!

Jackie:

“That was three!”

Siu Ann:

“Not quite by a miniscule amount!”

Gunman argues with the ref, and even tires to get him to raise his hand! The ref shakes his head, telling Gunman it was only two. Kool gets up, and sees an opportunity. He leapfrogs onto Gunman’s shoulders, and hits a victory roll pinning combination!

Siu Ann:

“Victory roll!”

1…

Jackie:

“That won’t get that punk a victory! It’ll get Gunman mad!”

2…

Siu Ann:

“Don’t be so sure!!!”

Kickout!

Siu Ann:

“That was close!”

Jackie:

“Nah! Gunman was playing with him!”

Gunman gets a boot to the gut, and Kool grabs his head. He twists him behind his back and hits a reverse neckbreaker/ rude awakening. He follows with a 360 flip legdrop, and hooks the leg!

Jackie:

“Showy, but ultimately not enough to put away the Gunman.”

1…

2…

Kickout!

Siu Ann:

“But Kool’s on a roll now!”

Kool pulls up Gunman, and grabs his arms from behind. Twisting him behind his back, he drops Gunman with…

Siu Ann:

“An Incinerator! (The Unprettier) Firefly’s finisher! Goodness gracious! An Incinerator! It’s over!”

Kool hooks the leg!

1…

Jackie:

“Oh no!”

2…

Siu Ann:

“We’re about to crown a new light-heavyweight champion!”

Gunman puts his foot on the bottom rope, so the ref stops the count!

Siu Ann:

“You’ve gotta believe that Gunman didn’t have the strength to kick out after that Incinerator, but what ring presence!”

Jackie:

“I knew he was gonna do something!”

Siu Ann:

“Yeah, right!”

Kool looks frustrated. He grabs Gunman, drags him to the centre of the ring, and then tries to set up for another Incinerator! Gunman however, mule kicks him behind the ref’s back. He then Irish whips Kool… but Kool inadvertently crashes into the ref, sending the guy out of the ring!

Siu Ann:

“Oh no!”

Jackie:

“Kool just blatantly attacked the ref!”

Siu Ann:

“Your bias scares me Jackie!”

Jackie:

“I cheer for my fed, HKWF, and Gunman is one of the best!”

Gunman smiles nastily and pulls up Kool. He blatantly chokes him in the middle of the ring, and with no ref to stop him, he laughs in Kool’s face.

Siu Ann:

“How disgraceful! Gunman is evil!”

Kool is gagging, but with a rush of adrenaline, drops a nut onto Gunman, who releases the choke instantly! He follows it with a clothesline.

Siu Ann:

“Go Kool! Show that cheater!”

Kool pulls Gunman up and drops him with an implant DDT (Gangrel’s Impaler)!

Siu Ann:

“Owy, owy, ow!”

Kool motions to the top rope and the crowd pop. He jumps onto the top turnbuckle, launches himself and hits a beautiful legdrop!

Siu Ann:

“Final Kool Off! But there’s no ref!”

Kool hooks the leg automatically, but there is no ref. Suddenly…

Siu Ann:

“Oh no! What’s Len DuBray doing here?”

Jackie:

“Hooray for Len DuBray! The number one contender to the Intercontinental championship!”

Len has come through the crowd, and has a dustbin in his hands. He rolls into the ring, and as Kool gets off Gunman, he turns around and gets creamed right in the face by the bin, heavily denting it!

Siu Ann:

“That’s heinous!”

Len starts battering the defenceless Kool with the bin. Gunman is still lying on the mat.

Siu Ann:

“Somebody stop this!”

Somebody does! Mooncat comes running from the back! She ascends the top rope, and then calls to Len. Len turns around and gets hit by a corkscrew Moonsault into a DDT!

Jackie:

“Stop that Moonslut!”

Siu Ann:

“What a scintillating way to stop Len’s interfering!”

Lez pulls up Len, but gets a right hand! They start duking it out, neither getting the advantage! Meanwhile, Kool and Gunman are still down, but Gunman is stirring.

Jackie:

“It’s only a matter of time before Len takes that girlie out!”

Siu Ann:

“She can defend herself perfectly… oh no! What’s HE doing here?”

El Gambit is running to the ring from the back!

Siu Ann:

“Somebody stop this chaos!”

El G slides into the ring, and clotheslines the back of Lez’s head from behind. From there, he grabs her from behind and hits the…

Jackie:

“Rock of Gibraltar DDT! What a move! Lezzy aint gonna get up for a week!”

Siu Ann:

“Poor Mooncat!”

With Gunman on his feet, Len, Gunman and El G start laying the boots into Kool. Gunman pulls up Lez, and holds back her arms. El G pulls out his cosh, and…

Siu Ann:

“A cosh blow right to the temple! How can El Gambit and Lone Gunman sleep at night! They just brutally assaulted Mooncat!”

Suddenly, there is a cheer from the crowd as Pitfighter jumps over the barrier, holding a stop sign, and passing a “suspect” cigarette to a member of the crowd!

Jackie:

“What is this? A little man… and slag… reunion? We’ll have the whole light-heavyweight roster out here in a minute!”

With Gunman, Len, and El G back on Kool laying the boots in again, they don’t notice Pit climb the top rope. He launches himself off and smashes Len across the back of the head with the stop sign.

Siu Ann:

“Pitfighter is extreme!”

Jackie:

“Pitfighter is a nutcase!”

El G turns his attention to Pit, but instinctively catches the stop sign when it’s thrown at him. Pit hits a Van Daminator style kick that smashes it into his face!

Siu Ann:

“Pitfighter clearing house!”

Gunman however boots Pit in the stomach, and smashes him to the floor with a vicious sit-down powerbomb!

Jackie:

“I don’t call that clearing house!”

Gunman heads back towards Kool, and pulls him up… to immediately drop him back down with a brainbuster.

Siu Ann:

“Look at the carnage! Mooncat is down! Len DuBray is down! El Gambit is down! Pitfighter is down! And in the middle of the ring, there is an utterly destroyed Kool, at the mercy of Lone Gunman! AND there’s no referee!”

Gunman heads for Pit… and throws him over the top rope. He then heads for Mooncat… and throws her over the top rope!

Jackie:

“Looks like Gunman is about ready to pin that chump Kool.”

El G and Len get to their feet slowly. Gunman whispers to both of them, and they nod. Gunman pulls up Kool, and sets him up for a piledriver. Len and El G stand either side and spike a foot each for a three-man spike piledriver!

Siu Ann (who sounds like she is about to cry):

“They may well have broken Kool’s neck! I can’t believe how evil these three men are!”

Gunman points to the ref, and Len nods. He and El G go to revive the ref as Gunman pulls up Kool. Gunman throws a right hand… but it’s blocked!

Jackie:

“What!”

Kool smashes Gunman around the face with a right hand, and follows with a clothesline.

Siu Ann:

“Where the hell is Luke’s energy coming from? How is he moving, let alone fighting?”

El G has the ref revived, and Len sees that Kool is up. He grabs Mooncat’s chair and heads to the apron.

Siu Ann:

“I smell trouble!”

Kool pulls up Gunman, but gets a thumb to the eye. The ref is back in the ring, but El G distracts him by jumping on the apron. Meanwhile, Len is on the other apron, ready with a chair. Gunman Irish whips Kool while Len pulls back the chair. Kool reverses and Len smashes Gunman full force in the face with the chair by mistake… and the ref doesn’t see it!

Jackie:

“Oh no!”

The ref turns around, just as Kool grabs Gunman’s leg and hooks him in a pin. El G tries to get in but is grabbed from behind by a revived Pitfighter who yanks him to the floor and hits a clothesline. Meanwhile Len is grabbed from behind by Lez who hooks on the Catnap (Million Dollar Dream)!

1…

Jackie:

“OH NO!”

2…

Siu Ann:

“Against all the odds, we…”

DING DING DING!

Siu Ann:

“Have a new light-heavyweight champion!!!!!”

Jackie:

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Kool, in shock gets passed the light heavyweight title! Lez hits a reverse X-Factor from the Catnap position on Len, and Pit hits a Rock of Gibraltar DDT on El G!

Jackie:

“I just can’t believe that that cheater Kool has stolen Gunman’s belt! I also can’t believe that that little shit Pitfighter just used El Gambit’s own move on him!”

Lez and Pit enter the ring. Pit pats Kool on the back, and Lez gives him a big kiss! The exhausted Kool still manages to grin like a schoolboy round the back of the bikesheds!

Siu Ann:

“We have a new light-heavyweight champion! But I don’t think this is over! You’ve got to believe that the HKWF boys Len DuBray, El Gambit and Lone Gunman will get revenge on Kool, Mooncat and Pitfighter!”

Jackie:

“If I know my boys… it AINT gonna be pleasant!”

With Lez, Pit and Kool celebrating in the ring, much to the delight of the crowd, Gunman rolls out and joins Len and El G who have both staggered to their feet. The three glare daggers at the new light-heavyweight champion as Siu Ann says…

“That’s all from TNT, I’m Siu Ann Wong, and with me was Jackie Lee… AND on behalf of Will and Dean, Billy and Jennifer, and Patrick, Todd and Joshua, we’ll see you all next week!”

Jackie:

“Sayonara!”

Siu Ann:

“PLEASE stop saying that!”

The credits begin to roll as Memphis Pike is standing at the host table irate, jumping up and down, screaming “WHAT ABOUT

ME?!” and “I’M THE HOST OF THE SHOW!!”