“Timebomb” by Godsmack rocks the Coliseum as pyro explodes from the entranceway and the Zero-tron. The lights flash in strobe fashion as Monday Manslaughter is ignited. The camera pans the capacity crowd showing various posters, banners, and signs. One sign reads, “Is the Living Legend Challenge anything like the Pepsi Challenge?” Another states, “ The only one and true rebel—Tate Troublesome!!”
Pike: Welcome fans to the first Monday Manslaughter of the year 2002! I am Memphis Pike here doing the announcing chores for the flagship show of GroundZero Wrestling 2K1! I will be by myself as Holly Fortune is currently away doing work in IGW! In case you might have missed it, Kandi Fortune released Alexander Hunt, the normal color commentator for Manslaughter, from employment here in GZW at the Acceptable Risks pay per view! So it will just be…
Suddenly, Alex Hunt comes trotting down the ramp and to the announce table.
Hunt: (out of breathe) Calm down there, Donutboy! The pimp with the gangster limp, the mack who don’t take no smack, the greatest color commentator EVER in GZW history, Alexander Hunt is here once again!
Pike: I thought you were released Hunt?
Hunt: Losers say what?
Pike: What?
Hunt: Exactly, Donutboy! Let’s get on with the show!
Pike: Tonight looks to be a grand show as the returning to wrestling, Peter Gamble now known as Invincible, will be teaming with the rookie, Derek Ashton now known as Battlecry, to take on the boys from the frat of Suc Mu Phi, the College Crew!
Hunt: An over the hill wrestler and a wet behind the ears rookie against an established tag team such as Rick Samson and Brent Wellington III! That’s a no-brainer! Bring on the beer! Owwww!
Pike: Also on tap, will be…
Hunt: You and Kandi must have gone to the same broadcast school! The match I want to see is the Living Legend Challenge and the more you talk the longer it takes for the rest of these losers to wrestle!
Pike: Than let’s kick off Manslaughter right now!
---Battlecry and Invincible vs. The College Crew---
Pike: Our first match is tag team action as the College Crew takes on the pairing of Battlecry and Invincible!
Hunt: Or the losers once known as Derek Ashton and Hero!
Pyro explodes from the entranceway as Battlecry and Invincible step out. The female portion of the crowd gives out a huge pop for the two men.
Hunt: Big deal that these two are built like Greek gods! I bet they couldn’t do color commentary worth a flip?!
Pike: This has been simmering feud since Battlecry was saved by Invincible last year from these College Boys! A win here will be considered a major upset!
Hunt: Well it won't be that easy. The College Crew aren't just collegiate scholars, but great athletes!
"Nookie" by Limp Bizkit plays as Rick Samson and Brent Wellington III make their way to the ring. Their girlfriends Heather and Linsey follow behind. A fan's sign reads, "Still drunk after a Suc Mu Phi keg party!! Ooowwww!!!"
Pike: We seem ready for action.
Hunt: I'm always ready for some action, especially with these hot chicks at ringside!
The bell rings the match starts out with Samson and Battlecry. They slip into a collar and elbow tie up with Samson getting the upperhand, putting BC in a headlock. The rookie quickly pushes the College Crew off and towards the ropes. As Samson is coming back, he leaps up in the air connecting with a flying shoulder tackle knocking Battlecry off his feet. Samson picks up the Boston native and Irish whips him in to the College corner but the BC lunges himself at BW3 nailing the unsuspecting College Crew with a forearm sending him to the floor. BC turns around and nails a flying spin kick on Samson, leveling him.
Pike: Good counters by Battlecry!
Hunt: They’re falling right into The College Crew’s plan.
Pike: What?!
BC tags in Invincible, he runs up to Samson as he's getting up and knocks him into his corner with a flying knee. BW3 tags in and grabs Samson's head and they try the Bushwhacker’s Battering Ram trick, but Invincible gets out of the way. Battlecry then nails the College Crew off the top rope with a cross body block.
Pike: Battlecry and Invincible are taking it up a notch here Hunt!
Hunt: The College Crew have it well in hand!
Pike: What match are you watching?
With BW3 dazed, Invincible gets behind and nails an inverted DDT and makes the cover...
1...2...
Pike: Three! Battlecry and Invincible pull out what I must call an upset!
Hunt: No! Samson and BW3 must not have drunk enough beer!
Battlecry and Invincible walk up the rampway, arms held high in victory.
---Backstage---
Diamond, one fourth of the Peacekeepers, is seen arriving to the Coliseum. He stops to talk to a few backstage workers for a moment. Diamond goes on his way to the locker room area, but suddenly, out from the shadows...
Pike: It's Sincere! The Jade Dragon! He already took out Road Hogg last week on Travesty!
Hunt: Damn, I'm going to miss da H-O-Double G!
Sincere stomps away on Diamond on the concrete floor. Sincere then grabs a nearby stage light and smashes it in the face of the Peacekeeper.
Hunt: How's them apples? Guess he won't be a Peacekeeping pretty boy anymore!
Sincere then locks on his dreaded Dragon’s Tail sharpshooter on Diamond.
Pike: Chocolate covered Dunkin’ Donuts! He's going to break his legs!
Officials and referees hit the scene. They try to pull off the BlackHeart member, but to no avail.
Pike: Sincere is holding onto Diamond, pulling back and snapping his legs! What kind of monster is he?
After having satisfied his hunger for inflicting pain, Sincere releases the Dragon’s Tail and then nonchalantly walks away.
Pike: There may be a method to Sincere's madness, seeing how Diamond is a friend of “Fairplay Enforcer” Sho Murakame. We hear that Sho has yet to arrive at the Coliseum!
Hunt: Good thing he's not here because the professor of psychological warfare and mastermind of mindgames would tear him up too!
---Rebellion and
Pitfighter vs. GoldenEye and “Enforcer” T-Rex---
Pike: Next up we have a big tag team match-up as the cocky Rebellion and the former Extreme champion, Pitfighter take on the ever popular "Enforcer" T-Rex and the gigantic newcomer GoldenEye!
"Rebellion" by Jeanluc blasts over the GZW Coliseum and the crowd boos as Reb walks down the rampway with the Extreme belt over his shoulder. He looks at some of the fans in the crowd and simply laughs at them before he gets into the ring.
Pike: Rebellion is one cocky jerk!
Hunt: What's wrong with being cocky? You have to be cocky in this business!
Pike: Yeah, well, when you become downright arrogant, it's a problem!
Pyro explodes at the entranceway and the crowd looks over at the entryway as the former GZW Extreme Champion Pitfighter steps out. The crowd boos the former champ as he walks to the ring. As soon as he gets in the ring, he gets in Reb’s face and the two have some words.
Pike: Well, it looks like Pitfighter isn’t pleased at all about teaming with the man who cheated him out of the Extreme title!
Hunt: No, you got it all wrong as usual, Pike. They're simply discussing a game plan!
"Bombshell” by Powerman 500 starts up and the powerful GoldenEye emerges from the back. The crowd cheers the newcomer as he walks down the rampway and waits on the outside for his partner.
Pike: And the crowd gives GoldenEye a nice reaction!
Hunt: I don't see why...I bet if we'd paint him green in his sleep, he'd wake up and say "Ho ho ho!"
“I AM NUMBER ONE!!!!” by Nelly starts up and the fans pop big for "the Enforcer" as he walks down the rampway. He briefly talks to his partner, and they both rush the ring together.
Pike: And we're off! Rebellion and Pitfighter stomp away on them, but T-Rex and GoldenEye fight back! They send them both off the ropes...the Enforcer with a sidekick on Pitfighter and GoldenEye destroys Rebellion with a big boot! Both men roll to the outside to regroup.
Hunt: Don't worry, Pitfighter and Rebellion will pull it together!
Reb enters the ring only to see that GE is there and he immediately slaps Pit's shoulder, effectively tagging out to the boos of the crowd and to the dismay of Pitfighter. The DeathPitt fighter slowly enters the ring and locks up with the much bigger GE. GE gets a standing side headlock, gets pushed off the ropes, but clobbers Pit with a shoulder block on the way back. He lifts Pit up and nails a stiff backbreaker. GE once again lifts Pit up to his feet and twists his arm while going for a tag. Tag is made to Rex and GE nails a big hook kick as his partner climbs the ropes and nails a...
Pike: Flying clothesline off the top from the Enforcer! The team of T-Rex and GoldenEye are in the driver's seat right now!
Hunt: Blah blah blah...
Rex picks up Pit and nails a quick snap suplex, followed by another, then several knees to Pitfighter's side. Rex picks Pit up and nails a tough Lygerbomb for a two count. Rex and Pit lock up, Rex goes behind him, but gets nails by a lowblow. Pit turns around, gets a hammerlock...
Pike: DDT with hammerlock variation! And Pitfighter tags in the anxious Rebellion...listen to the crowd boo!
Hunt: They aren't booing! They're saying...well, I don't know, but they aren't booing!
Reb with a few quick stomps, then he stands Rex on his feet. Reb sends him off the ropes and nails Rex with a high spinning heel kick. Reb whips Rex into the neutral corner and follows with a nice bulldog. He gets Rex back into the corner and nails a powerslam into a Michinoku driver, which he calls...
Hunt: Rebelution! Rebellion is truly playing with T-Rex and GoldenEye! He could end this anytime!
Reb walks over and taunts GoldenEye, causing GE to get into the ring illegally. Ref Donald Fey restrains GE and the heels pound away on Reb in their corner. Reb exits the ring just as the referee turns back around. Pit goes to work on Rex and nails a very nice t-bone suplex. Rex off the ropes and takes a Pit jumping calf kicks. Pit with a huge Thunder firebomb that gets a close two count. Pit complains about the "slow" count and tags out to Reb who climbs the ropes.
Pike: Rebellion looking to put things away here...somersault leg drop! But no one's home!
Hunt: Come on, Rebellion! Tag Pitfighter!
Pike: Rebellion gets the tag…and so does T-Rex! Here comes the big man! Huge clothesline for the Pitfighter! And one for Rebellion! Chokeslam on Pitfighter! He sets Pitfighter up for the Extinction (reverse powerbomb)! But Pitfighter with a lowblow! That bastard!
Hunt: Hahahaha!
Pike: Pitfighter rolls T-Rex up! 1...2...Rebellion breaks up the count?? What is he doing? Rebellion makes the cover himself! 1...2…and Pitfighter breaks up that count! The two argue about who will get the pin. But Rex scoops up Reb from behind and drops him with Carnivores Press! GE blocks Pitfighter from breaking up the pin! 1...2...3!! T-Rex and GoldenEye win!
Hunt: No no no!
Rex and GE leave the ring to a chorus of cheers from the fans. A disgusted Pit leaves the ring as his partner is still laid out on the mat.
Pike: Guess things would have worked out for them if Rebellion had been more of a team player!
As the show is about to go to commercial, "I’m Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred blasts on the PA. The male part of the crowd goes nuts as the self-proclaimed “Wrestling’s Sexiest Woman” comes out to the entrance wearing a black leather catsuit and carrying something in her hand.
Pike: What's this about?
Hunt: If she wants to come out here she can! She can come anywhere she wants!
“Sexy Bitch” Devotion makes her way down to the announce table. She looks at Hunt.
Devotion (In a purring voice): Alex, this doesn't go on sale till tomorrow, but I figured you would want one so here you go. Welcome back.
Devotion hands Hunt a copy of her issue of Playpen.
Hunt: Uh uh uh....
Devotion (still in the purring voice): Bye Alex.
Devotion walks back up the ramp.
Pike: Are you okay, Hunt?
Hunt: I...I...I gotta go.... I'll be right back.
Pike: On that note ladies and gentleman, we go to commercial break.
---Commercial Break---
“The first inductee into
GZW’s Ring of Honor. What wrestler past or present has made such an
impact on the minds and hearts of GZW fans that he has claimed the votes of his
peers.”
“Tune into Manslaughter on
the 28th of January to witness the ceremony of the first inductee
into the Ring of Honor.”
---Novocaine and Manic Depression vs.
“Desert Storm” Magic and “Fairplay Enforcer” Sho Murakame---
Pike: Well, we have a wild one coming up next! Manic Depression of What Money Can Buy stable and the masked Novacaine will take on the Desert Storm, Magic and the Fairplay Enforcer Sho Murakame!
Hunt: If you ask me...
The lights going out interrupt Hunt. The Coliseum is filled with anticipation. When the lights go back on, Manic and Novacaine stand in the ring. Novacaine slithers his way to one corner on his hands and knees. Little children in the front row scream and cry. Manic stands with his arms crossed, awaiting his opponents.
The crowd erupts as Magic and Sho with Anastasia make their entrance. Magic points at Novacaine while Sho points at Manic.
Pike: We are in for a wild one here!
Nova and Sho start the match. The two lock up, with Nova gaining the advantage with a standing armbar. Nova sadistically pulls on Sho's arm and pounds on it. Irish whip by Nova. The Brutality King takes Sho over with an armdrag. Nova cranks on the arm and proceeds with several legdrops on the injured arm.
Pike: In a short time in GZW, Novacaine is probably one of the most sinister and calculating men I have ever seen in the ring!
Nova tags in his partner. Manic grabs Sho's arm and drives him into the mat with an armbar takedown. Manic uses his weight to really put pressure on the arm. Sho does manage to get to the ropes for a break. Manic lifts Sho to his feet. Irish whip by the WMCB man followed by an impressive powerslam.
Pike: The ring shook on that one!
Hunt: I would love to shake that Anastasia!
Manic picks up Sho and hits a massive headbutt, sending Sho into the corner. Manic drives several knees into the gut. Manic attempts to Irish whip Sho into the opposite corner, but Sho executes a baseball slide before hitting the corner and gets up. Manic charges in, but Sho charges with a clothesline.
Pike: Manic is still standing!
Sho then hits a sweet jumping calf kick which finally drops the slightly bigger man. Sho tags in Magic. Magic and Sho double team Manic, with Magic dropping a legdrop across his neck and Sho kicking Manic in the gut while holding his legs.
Pike: Sho and Magic are clicking here now, but is it enough to keep this WMCB man down?
Hunt: I don't think so!
Magic wisely tries to work on Manic's leg with kicks to the inner thigh. Magic then places the leg on the bottom rope. Magic uses the ropes to jump high in the air and comes crashing down on the leg. Magic lifts the big man to his feet and drives a series of kicks to Manic's ribs. Magic goes for an Irish whip, but Manic reverses. Magic bounces off the ropes and Manic elevates him high into the air. Magic comes crashing down to the mat face first.
Pike: Ouch!
Hunt: That is what I call a crash landing!
Manic tags in Nova. Nova rakes the eyes and follows up with several headbutts and forearm shivers to the head. Nova starts to choke Magic in the corner. Nova then whips Magic into the opposite corner. Magic hops onto the turnbuckle and nails a moonsault on a charging Nova. The cover, but Nova kicks out. The crowd is going crazy after the near fall. Magic goes for an Irish whip but Nova reverses. Magic comes off the ropes and takes Nova over with a flying headscissors. Both men get up and Magic nails Nova with a spear. The cover.
1…2…
Manic breaks up the count with a stomp. Sho comes in to meet Manic. Both of them brawl out onto the floor.
Hunt: They are right in front of us!
In the ring, Magic drops Nova with an evenflow DDT. Magic is goes to the top turnbuckle for a high risk move. Back to the action on the floor, Manic rakes the eyes of the Fairplay Enforcer and gorilla press slams him onto the timekeeper's table. Manic grabs the bell. Magic is perched on the top turnbuckle, ready to hit the downed Novacaine. But Manic gets on the apron and nails Magic with the bell. Ref Donald Fey calls for the DQ.
Pike: Disqualification by Manic Depression and Novacaine! Ref Fey would call for the bell, but the bell has already been rung on Magic's head!
Manic gets in the ring to hold Magic while Nova grabs the bell. Nova slams the steel bell into the face of Magic, busting him wide open. Sho finally does regain his senses and comes into the ring with a Singapore cane, which Anastasia hands to him. He strikes Manic over the head with it, dropping him to the mat. Nova turns around. Sho stares at him while the masked man challenges Sho to hit him. Sho obliges, cracking the Singapore cane over his head. Novacaine drops to one knee.
Pike: CHOCOLATE COVERED DUNKIN’ DONUTS! Sho Murakame just busted the Singapore cane over Novacaine's head and his still on one knee!
Hunt: Who in the hell is this guy under that mask!
Sho looks at Nova, stunned. Sho grabs the bell and smashes in the face of Nova. The Brutality King finally drops to the mat. The fans are going crazy. Sho helps Magic to his feet as they both leave the ring. Suddenly, Nova sits right back up.
Pike: Wowsers! What does it take to keep him down? A nuclear bomb?
Nova gets up, screaming in anger. Manic rolls out of the ring.
---Backstage---
Sincere is about to walk out of the Coliseum until he is cornered by his brother-in-law Nathaniel “Entertainment Franchise” Davis.
Davis: (grabs Sincere’s arm) Hold on there, Sincere. What in the hell is your problem?
Sincere: (pulling arm away) I have no problem at all, dear brother. If you are enquiring about my sudden interest in the “Fairplay Enforcer”, that is of no concern of yours.
Davis: Sincere I have never chose to understand your motives. I could never phantom what sickness goes through the dark maze of your mind, but when you attack innocent people like the Road Hogg or my friend Diamond, than it is my concern. I swore to my sister, your wife, Forever, that I would honor The Oath, but you are pushin’ a thin line. Don’t make me fight you again, Sincere.
Sincere: (smiling evilly) It will not come to that, Nathaniel, as you will not break The Oath, no matter what. (stepping face-to-face with Davis) Tell your Peacekeeper buddy that I have the answer to his mother’s problem. If he wants the answer tell him to meet the Jade Dragon in the center of the ring.
Davis: (angry) Sincere, you had best not have had anythin’ to do with Mrs. M’s last week. So help me, not even The Oath could stop me.
Sincere: (lightly slapping Davis on the cheek) Just make sure Sho receives that message, dear brother.
Sincere walks out of the building leaving Davis alone, fuming.
---No Disqualification Match: Adam
Cage vs. “Wrestling Franchise” Monarch---
Pike: This next match will be a brutal one as…
“Superbeast” by Rob Zombie kicks in as the HKWF World Heavyweight Champion, Monarch, strolls down the rampway. He is not dressed in his ring attire, but in a black shirt and denim jeans, the HKWF belt draped over his shoulder. The attending crowd lets Monarch know how they feel by giving him a huge chorus of boos.
Hunt: Now this is what you call a “Wrestling Franchise”! I sure hate it for Adam Cage!
Pike: Speaking of the hot superstar, Adam Cage has been absent over the past several days!
Hunt: Just scared to face Monarch in this No DQ match!
Monarch steps into the ring and heads straight to the center. He motions for a mic and one is immediately thrown his way.
Monarch: You f*ckin’ bloody Americans make me sick! After all I have done for this sport and you can only greet me in such a way? I can’t be arsed to wrestle for you pathetic lot. That’s why I had that bloke, Adam Cage taken out earlier today. Take a look on the Zero-tron.
The Zero-tron begins to show footage of Adam Cage sitting in his locker room, watching over tapes of past shows. There is a knock at the door. Cage pauses the tapes and opens the door. Before he can get the door all the way open, it gets forcefully pushed open causing Cage to fall back to the ground. Monarch comes into the room wielding a huge chain. Without saying a word, Monarch wails away on Cage with the chain.
Pike: Wowsers!
Hunt: Woohoo!
Cage tries to curl up into a ball to protect himself but Monarch stops whipping him and wraps the chain around Cage’s neck, choking him out. Cage begins spitting up blood as the Zero-tron fades to black.
Monarch: I have had enough dealing with the lowly masses of the GZW. I am the f*ckin’ HKWF World Heavyweight Champion!! I have destroyed men such greats as the UJW legend, Kazuhiro “Obake” Ohta in matches that have lasted two hours strong, or HKWF legends such as Dutch Cantrell and “The Far East Beast” Gideon. It is time for you American slobs to realize that Monarch is…
The music “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns and Roses rocks the Coliseum as the lights in the arena dim and a spotlight appears on the entranceway. The crowd wants in anticipation as to who it is.
Pike: What in the world is this? That is the original theme song to the Hong Kong Wrestling Federation! There’s only one man I know who would have this music!
A well-dressed middle-aged man wearing a black three-piece suit steps into the spotlight. The man has a full beard with streaks of grey. His grey streaked hair is pulled back into a ponytail. He pulls out a microphone and begins to speak.
Man: Monarch is what? That you are nothing but a “Lost Boy” from HKWF. That you are nothing but a carbon copy of the man you always idolized. Did you think Profit could or would protect you from me, Lost Boy? You have something that belongs to me, something I never lost so long ago. Something Sebastian Covenant plans to take back from you.
Pike: For those of you not familiar with HKWF history, Sebastian Covenant was the first man to be recognized as the HKWF World Champion. This man was amongst the first wrestlers to help build HKWF into an overseas wrestling powerhouse!
Hunt: So in other words, he knows that sorry excuse for a color commentator Jackie Lee!
Monarch: You want my belt, old man, than you come and f*ckin’ get it!!
Monarch drops the belt and the mic in front of him readying himself in a fighter’s stance. Covenant only just smirks and holds his position. From the side of the ring a form slides in and sends Monarch to the mat in a heap. The camera closes in and the form is revealed to be…
Pike: WWIII, the Army officer working with Covenant! He is beating down Monarch!
Hunt: Hey, that’s no way to treat a HKWF champion!
Covenant: Enough, WWIII. (WWIII rolls out of the ring and disappears back into the crowd) Lost Boy, no more hiding in the shadows. Your fear that I would return has come true. Now accept that fact and prepare to face me in the ring for the HKWF World Heavyweight belt that you helped take from me. Call “Uncle” John and tell him that Covenant and the Firstborn Industries have returned to the HKWF.
“Welcome to the Jungle” plays again as Covenant walks backstage as Monarch struggles to get to his feet using the ropes. Blood is streaming from his mouth as Monarch is extremely pissed.
Hunt: Monarch is going to whoop somebody’s ass over this one!
---Commercial---
In the tradition of the latest reality television shows, GroundZero Enterprises presents The Real GZW: Uncensored! See what happens backstage at the GroundZero Wrestling 2K1!
Footage shown: Seth Richards is on the phone, not knowing that he is being taped. "Yes, can you please have my pants dry cleaned by tonight? I've got an important announcement to make in the ring and I can't go out there with cum stained pants! Do you know who I am?!?"
-Brent Wellington III watching a Britney Spears video...with his hand near his "lower extremities". "Oops, you did it again, Britney? You can do it anytime you want..."
-The “Living Legend” Pimp Bizkit and a GZW female intern sneaking off into his dressing room.
-Alexander Hunt trying to pick up some ladies in his "Lovemobile". Hunt pulls up next to two ladies in his white convertible Cadillac. "Hey ladies, what about you two and me making a little meat sandwich? You two got the buns and I've got the sausage!" SLAP!!! Hunt gets slapped across his face.
-Diamond Sledge having a stimulating debate about nuclear physics…with a garbage man!
All this and more behind the scenes footage of the GZW! In stores now on video and DVD!
---Back to the show---
Pike: We're back fans! What's wrong Hunt?
Hunt: Well, what that "Real GZW: Uncensored" video doesn't show is that I actually got some chicks that day with the Lovemobile! It's just those two skanks...well...they...
Pike: They had taste. Anyways, our next match will be...wait a minute. I've been handed a memo from the office of the Booking Committee!
Hunt: I got a raise as well as getting my job back?!?
Pike: It says that for the entertainment of the fans, the Committee has signed the next match, the MSWA rookie wrestler, Big Yank against...the GZW Heavyweight Champion, Deacon Kane for the GZW Heavyweight Championship!
Hunt: The massive monster in action? Woohoo!
Big Yank is already in the ring, pulling on the ring ropes to loosen up. Suddenly, "Hair of the Dog" by Nazareth plays on the PA system...
Pike: Here he is! The 7'4" 478 pound GZW Heavyweight Champion, the massive monster Deacon Kane!
The large monster walks down the rampway, the fans boo and jeer the BlackHeart. Deacon steps into the ring. Big Yank charges at the big man, but the Champ grabs him and slams him to the mat with a Bossman slam. Deacon lifts BY up by the throat with both hands. With BY held up high, Deacon lands several crushing headbutts, then slams him down to the mat with a double-handed sitdown chokeslam (Albert's Baldo Bomb).
Pike: Deacon Kane is manhandling this MSWA rookie!
Hunt: Well this young kid should have stayed in the comfy confines of our Memphis affiliate company!
Deacon lifts BY up to his feet. Deacon with a vicious short arm clothesline sends BY flipping through the air.
Pike: Chocolate covered Dunkin’ Donuts! This is absolute carnage!
Deacon Kane lifts Big Yank up to his feet once more. Deacon powerbombs BY into the turnbuckles. Deacon then lifts up a battered Big Yank by the throat...
Pike: Wowsers! What a chokeslam! But wait! Deacon is still not done! Deacon lifts up Big Yank one more time...Wicked Way (muscle buster)!!! He damn well snapped Big Yank's spine! Deacon Kane with a one foot pin on Big Yank's face! 1...2...3!!! Deacon with the utter demolition of Big Yank, the rookie from Mid-South Wrestling Alliance!
Hunt: This match was over before it started!
Pike: Wait! The big monster's thirst for destruction isn't done yet!
Deacon grabs Referee Sonny Bright by the throat. Deacon with a huge chokeslam to the mat. Referees, security guards and officials flood the ring, but Deacon takes out each man as they enter the ring.
Pike: The massive behemoth is laying waste to everyone entering the ring!
Hunt: He's the Heavyweight Champ! He can do what he wants!
Suddenly, "Smooth Operator" plays on the speakers...
Pike: That can only be...”Smooth Operator” Billy Bond!
Deacon drops a referee as he was about to chokeslam him. Smooth runs down the ramp and slides into the ring. The two men slug it out in the center of the ring.
Pike: Smooth and Deacon trade blows in the ring! Billy Bond with the better of the exchange!
Smooth goes for an Irish whip, but Deacon reverses. Smooth off the ropes, ducks a Deacon clothesline. Smooth off the far ropes. Dropkick by Smooth sends Deacon out of the ring. Smooth goes to the floor. The two men brawl up the ramp and up onto the stage. Smooth with right hands. Deacon fires back with several right hands of his own. Smooth fires back with rapid right hands.
Pike: Bond goes for a DDT on the stage, but Deacon reverses it with a back body drop! Bond comes crashing down on his back on the stage! The Heavyweight Champ lifts Bond up to his feet. Uh oh! Deacon has Bond in a standing headlock. He has Bond up over his shoulders near the edge of the stage...CHOCOLATE COVERED DUNKIN’ DONUTS! Deacon powerbombs Bond off the stage and down through a table to the hard concrete below! He's broken him not in two, but in four!!!
Hunt: I guess that takes care of the Smooth pest problem!
Pike: It was only three days ago on Friday Travesty that Deacon put Bond through a store window!
EMTs rush to tend to Smooth who's body is laying on the concrete floor below the stage. Deacon stands on the stage, holding up his GZW Heavyweight Title belt for the booing crowd to see.
---Non-Title Match: “Far East
Beast” Gideon vs. “El Gambit” Santiago De Towces---
Pike: Up next, the LightHeavyweight and Television Champion, El Gambit will wrestle against a man he is quite familiar with as of late, the “Far East Beast” Gideon!
Hunt: Didn’t El Gambit make this washed up ex-HKWF wrestler tap out a couple of Friday’s ago? The Booking Committee is really hurting for competition for the dual champion!
Pike: Gideon is perhaps the most deserving superstar to challenge for the TV title! He has had nothing but great matches since his arrival in the GZW, not to mention that he is amongst a stable of fan favorites known as the Peacekeepers!
"Name of the Game" by Crystal Meth plays on the Coliseum speakers. The fans erupt as Gideon and Anastasia step out onto the stage. The two walk down the ramp, Anastasia waving to the adoring crowd as Gideon is focused on the task at hand, evening the wins at one a piece.
Hunt: What does a hot chick like Anastasia see in guys like the Peacekeepers?
"Violent Mood Swings” by Stabbing Westwards hits the speakers and the capacity crowd suddenly goes from cheers to a loud chorus boos as they know who's entrance is next. El Gambit steps out onto the stage with his GZW TV Title around his waist and LH Title draped over his shoulder. The cocky and arrogant champion makes his way down the rampway, pointing to the belt, showing Gideon what he could have had.
Pike: If matches were won based on cockiness, El Gambit would go undefeated for the rest of his career!
Hunt: Trust me, El Gambit's got plenty of cockiness!
El G steps into the ring and makes a motion with his hand to Ref Paulie Newman, as if telling Gid to back away. Ref Newman holds up the TV and LH title, showing the crowd the prizes that El G has attained. The bell rings and the match is underway. Both men lock up in the center of the ring with a collar and elbow. El G backs Gid into the ropes. Ref Newman calls for a break. El G backs up and releases the tie up, but then gets a quick cheap shot to the jaw.
Pike: El G with a not so clean break!
El G with several right hands followed with an Irish whip. El G off the ropes. El G with a huge hiptoss takes down the challenger.
Pike: Now look at El Gambit! He's posing, taunting his opponent!
Hunt: That's the Television and LightHeavyweight Champ! El Gambit equals ratings baby!
Gid gets back up to his feet. The 5'10" El G moves in and hammers the 6'3" Gid with right hands to the head. Irish whip by El G. Gid off the ropes, ducks an El G clothesline. El G turns around, only to get nailed with a spinning heel kick from Gid.
Pike: Down goes El Gambit! Now Gideon taunts the Champ with a pose of his own!
Hunt: Who does Gideon think he is? What an ass!
El G gets back up to his feet slowly as the crowd chants, "El G sucks". The two men go to lock up, but El G gets a quick knee to the midsection of Gid. El G then grabs Gid by the hair and tosses him over the top rope and out of the ring.
Pike: El Gambit tosses Gideon out of the ring as if he were a bag of trash! Gideon gets up to his feet and gets back on the apron to get back in the ring, but El Gambit runs over and kicks him off the apron and back down to the floor! Gideon gets up and is back up on the apron and again El Gambit kicks him off the apron! El Gambit won't let Gideon back in the ring!
Hunt: Gideon doesn't belong in the same ring with El Gambit anyway!
Gid is back on his feet. He gets up on the apron. This time, when El G comes over to kick him off, Gid hops off the apron down to the floor. Gid grabs El G's legs and pulls him out of the ring under the ropes. The challenger goes to town on El G, rocking him with stiff right hands.
Pike: The former HKWF World Heavyweight Champion has had enough of El Gambit's antics!
Hunt: Gideon is a former HKWF World Heavyweight Champion and this sure in the hell isn’t HKWF! What has he done lately?
Gid beats down El G at ringside, slamming his face into the apron, then the steel steps. Gid then with a vertical suplex dropping El G's back on the Coliseum floor.
Pike: Ouch!
Gid lifts up the dual champ and rolls him back into the ring. The fans and Anastasia are cheering on the Peacekeeper. Gid is up on the apron and climbs up to the top turnbuckle. El G up to his feet. Missile dropkick by Gid connects.
Pike: Gideon with the cover! Gideon could have the win here!
1…2...
Pike: No! Kick out by El Gambit! That was close!
Gid lifts El G up to his feet.
Pike: El Gambit with a lowblow to the "lower regions!" Ouch!!!
Hunt: Low blow? Huh? I didn't see anything! Maybe Gideon got a cramp or a hernia!
With Gid stunned by the crotch shot and bent at the waist, El G follows up with a kneelift to the face a la Mr. Perfect. With Gid down on the mat, El G holds Gid's legs up and drops a legdrop to the groin.
Pike: El Gambit going downstairs again! That's the TV and LightHeavyweight Champ that GZW has? A guy who hits a guy below the belt?
El G lifts Gid up to his feet. El G shoves Gid into the corner. The champ with loud knife-edge chops in the corner. El G whips Gid diagonally across the ring to the opposite corner. El G charges in. Gid gets a back elbow up, catching the charging champ in the mouth. El G staggers backwards. The Far East Beast charges at El G and levels him with a clothesline. The fans pop.
Pike: Down goes El Gambit!
El Gambit lifts Gideon up to his feet. Right hands by Gideon. Irish whip by Gid, reversal by El G. Gid off the ropes. El G with scoop up, Gid floats over and lands behind the champ. El G turns around. Gid with a kick to the midsection followed with a DDT.
Pike: Gideon with the cover! 1…2…no! El Gambit gets a shoulder up!
Hunt: You can't keep El Gambit down!
Gid lifts El G up to his feet. Gid with several chops to the chest, the crowd "whoo"-ing on each loud chop. Gid whips El G into the corner. Gid charges in and nails the dual champ with a jumping forearm smash to the face. El G staggers out of the corner. Gid grabs El G by the waist and tosses him with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex.
Pike: What a suplex by Gideon! Cover by the Peacekeeper! 1...2...no! El Gambit with another kickout!
Gid lifts El G up to his feet once again. Irish whip by Gid. El G off the ropes, ducks a clothesline. El G off the far ropes and nails Gid in the face with a jumping calf kick.
Pike: What a shot!
El G lifts Gid up to his feet...crisp vertical suplex by El G. Gid is down on the mat. El G off the ropes and drops a legdrop across the throat. The TV and LH champ lifts Gid back up once more...
Pike: T-bone suplex by El Gambit! The cover by El Gambit! 1…2...no! Gideon kicks out!
Hunt: What?!? No way!
El G cannot believe it. An angry El G lifts Gid back up to his feet. El G grabs Gid's arm in a hammerlock, turns Gid around and into a front facelock while maintaining the hammerlock.
Pike: Unorthodox move here by the Champ! But Gideon counters! He lifts El Gambit up by his free arm and drops him on his crotch with an inverted atomic drop!
Hunt: No! Not on his little El Gambit balls!
The fans cheer wildly as El G stands stunned near the ropes. Gid with a shuffle sidekick that sends El G out of the ring.
Pike: Out goes El Gambit to the floor right in front of us!
El G gets up slowly on the floor near the announce tables and Anastasia. Gid looks to the crowd as they roar with approval. Gid bounces off the ropes and runs toward the ropes. He dives out of the ring with a suicide dive, but El G grabs Anastasia by the wrist and pulls her into harm's way instead.
Pike: CHEZMAN PULLS ANASTASIA INTO THE WAY! GIDEON WIPES HER OUT WITH A SUICIDE DIVE! CHOCOLATE COVERED DUNKIN’ DONUTS!
Hunt: The beotch shouldn't have been in the area! Maybe she should be in the kitchen baking me some brownies!
A concerned Gid tries to revive an unconscious Anastasia. El Gambit grabs his TV title off the timekeeper's table and nails Gid in the back of the head with it.
Pike: Ref Newman calls for the bell! El Gambit is DQ'ed, but I don't think he cares! El Gambit lifts Gideon up to his feet, grabs him with a rear waistlock right in front of us...EL GAMBIT WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX SENDS GIDEON THROUGH OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE! WOWSERS!!!
Hunt: That is ratings!!!!
The GZW LightHeavyweight and Television Champion stands above the carnage of Gideon and Anastasia laid out on the floor. El Gambit then proudly and arrogantly puts his belts over his shoulders.
Pike: This is the dual Champion? This is disgusting!
“Bittersweet” rips through the speakers as the Desert Storm, Magic, steps onto the entranceway. Still dressed in his wrestling gear from earlier, Magic pulls out a microphone.
Hunt: What in the hell does the Drizzle want? Didn’t he get enough of a beating by Novacaine and Manic earlier?
Magic: I’m going to cut right to the chase, El Gambit. You pride yourself on being a double champion, that the LightHeavyweight and Television division is your division. I remember not so long ago that the LH division was dominated by yours truly. Of course that was before I went on to become a GZW Heavyweight Champion.
Hunt: What is this conceited loser talking about? No one wants to hear him rehash his boring career!
El G looks up the rampway at Magic with disgust. EMTs help Gideon and Anastasia to the back.
Magic: I digress. I’m putting you on notice, “hombre”. You want to cosh me over the head on Travesty, well your title reign as the TV champion will soon be coming to an end. Watch you back cause I might be coming from the front.
“Bittersweet” begins again as Magic turns and walks backstage. El G looks around at the cheering crowd with a sneer as he makes his way to the back.
Pike: Magic has just put El Gambit and his Television title on notice! This doesn’t look for El Gambit!
Hunt: What? It’s just Magic!
---In the Parking Lot---
The EMTs have Smooth loaded onto a stretcher and are about to load him into an ambulance. Suddenly...
Pike: Billy Bond is getting off of the stretcher! Wowsers! He was powerbombed off the stage! He should be going to the hospital, but he's getting back up to his feet!
The fans cheer as Smooth is shown on the video screen, pushing EMTs aside and walking back towards the Coliseum.
Hunt: Some might say he's being "oh so brave". But he's an idiot! If he's going to go look for Deacon Kane, he'll be loaded up in a hearse instead of an ambulance!
---Tag Team Championship Match:
The Supreme Team vs. What Money Can Buy---
Pike: Our next match is for the Tag Titles as the UJW superstars, the Supreme Team challenge the champions, What Money Can Buy!
Hunt: What is going on around here? First Derek Ashton, my fault, Battlecry walks off the Boston streets and gets a contract and now some United Japan Wrestling tag team comes in and gets a Tag Team Championship match!
"Fuel" by Metallica pumps though Coliseum. The crowd pops loudly. “Crybaby” Bill Connors comes out and points to his left and right as the Supreme Team come out to his left and right. Logan “Bigger Than Life” Phlash, Malcolm “Super Flyer” Hodges and Connors walk down the ramp to the ring. Phlash and Hodges begin to pump the crowd.
Pike: The Supreme Team seems ready Hunt!
Hunt: Ready for Mr. Risky Business and Bad Attitude? I don't think so!
"C.R.E.A.M." by Wu-Tang Clan comes on over the PA as What Money Can Buy come out holding their tag title belts followed the silver briefcase carrying Seth Richards. They look down at the ring at the Supreme Team and give Hodges and Phlash a look of contempt. Connors sits at the announce table and puts on a headset
Pike: Hello Mr. Connors and welcome to the GZW.
Connors: Hello Memphis, hello Alex.
Hunt: Whatever!
WMCB get in the ring, Epic goes to their corner and Hodges steps outside and gets in the Supreme Team's corner, leaving Eclipse and Phlash in as the legal men. The bell rings. The two men stand sizing each other up. They go in for the collar and elbow tie up. Eclipse gets the advantage and gets Phlash in a headlock. The veteran wrestler pushes Eclipse off sending him in to the ropes. Phlash drops to the mat. Eclipse goes over him and bounces of the other set of ropes. Phlash bounds up and goes for Booker T's side kick.
Eclipse ducks, stops and pivots and attempts a clothesline that Phlash ducks but Eclipse quickly grabs Phlash and nails a release Northern Lights suplex that sends Phlash to the mat hard.
Pike: A fine display from what maybe the two most well rounded grapplers in the GZW today!
Hunt: Well Eclipse is, but who's the other guy you see in the ring with him?
Connors: He would be talking about Logan “Bigger Than Life” Phlash. One-half of the Supreme Team, the epitome of tag teams!
Eclipse tries to get Phlash in the Texas Cloverleaf, but Phlash grabs the Eclipse by the hair and pulls his head down. Phlash begins to, with his free hand, pound on Eclipse making him break the hold. Phlash gets up quickly and while Eclipse is still dazed he hits a DDT, flooring Eclipse. Phlash gets up quickly and runs over and nails Epic with a forearm shot, knocking him off the apron. Phlash turns back around to a boot to the gut from Eclipse. Eclipse lifts Phlash up and drives him down with shoulder breaker.
Pike: The Tag Champs having their way with the Supreme Team here!
Hunt: Hey, this isn’t some UJW! This is the home of the greatest tag team champions in wrestling! GZW!
Connors: We have great respect for the tag teams here as well as GZW! My men are here not to prove that UJW is better than GZW but prove that the Supreme Team is the best in the business!
Eclipse picks up Phlash and Irish whips him into the ropes. Phlash slides under Eclipse's legs, bounds up and connects with a drop kick, sending Eclipse into the WMCB corner. Eclipse tags in Epic. Phlash gets to his corner and tags Hodges. The two men come to the middle of the ring and begin a staredown; the pure bad intentions behind both of their eyes send chills down the audience's spine. The two jaw with each other and then Hodges smacks a forearm right into Epic's chest, which Epic comes back with a knife hand chop. The crowd screams “woooooo”...Hodges retaliates with a chop of his own. The two begin to trade blows back and forth. Hodges gets the upper hand in the brawl and nails a spinning heel kick on Epic.
Connors: Epic should learn not too try out brawl Malcolm “Super Flyer” Hodges. It just isn't going to happen.
Hunt: Mr. Risky Business is a wrestler not a brawler. He knows many holds and positions in the ring!
Hodges picks up Epic and drives him back down with a stiff clothesline. Hodges stands back as Epic gets up. Hodges tries to hit a standing sidekick but Epic catches his foot and dragon screw leg whips the Super Flyer to the ground. Holding on to Hodge's leg, Epic jumps forward trying to pull Hodges' leg out of socket. Hodges gets up slowly as Epic is stalking Hodges. Mr. Risky Business gets behind Super Flyer. Epic locks Hodges in a full nelson and then hits a full nelson suplex. Epic stomps on Hodges keeping him down as he tags in Eclipse. The Tag Champs Irish whip Hodges into the ropes. WMCB seem to be going for a double shoulder block but as Hodges is running back to them, he jumps up and hits a double clothesline on the Tag Champs, putting them both down. Hodges gets up quickly and begins to pound on Eclipse. Epic tries to pull off Hodges but Phlash bolts in and cuts off Epic.
Connors (Standing up from his seat and being nice to the home audience he pulls the mike part of his head set away from his mouth and screams): KILL THE SONS A BITCHES!!!
Hunt: Not very professional there, “Crybaby”!
Connors: (getting back into position) Well I have never claimed to be a pro, Alex.
Pike: There is chaos in the ring!
All hell is breaking lose in the ring. Phlash is hammering Epic. Eclipse is pounding on Hodges and tosses him out. Eclipse motions to Seth to get the belts while Ref Patricia Albertson is distracted. Seth runs and grabs the belts.
Connors: That's my cue.
Seth almost hands Eclipse the belts but Connors catches up with him, grabs Seth and turns him around and drops Seth with a right hand to the face.
Pike: Chocolate covered Dunkin’ Donuts!
Hunt: How dare that “Crybaby” lay a fist on Seth Richards!
Connors grabs the belts and waves at Eclipse. Hodges is back up and taps Eclipse on the shoulder. Eclipse turns around and Hodges boots him in the stomach and hits the Flyer Driver (Stunner) sending Eclipse to the outside. Phlash is still working on Epic. Phlash turns Epic around so his back is now facing him. Phlash runs to the ropes, bounces off while Hodges runs at him from the front. Hodges launches up connecting with a clothesline as Phlash at the same time hits a chop block, folding Epic like an accordion.
Pike: What impact!
Connors:(now with the belts in front of him) The Supreme Team with Puddle of Blood!
Larger Than Life picks up Epic and lifts him in a powerbomb. Hodges grabs Epic's head as Phlash comes down with the bomb and hits a neckbreaker as Mr. Risky Business hits the mat.
Pike: Supreme Bomb! Could this be all?
Hunt: No way! I'm sure Epic can get out of this!
Eclipse is trying to get back in the ring, but Phlash runs over and hits him with a forearm shot sending him back out to the floor. Ref Albertson is in postion. Hodges hooks Epic's leg.
1...2...
Pike: NO! Ref Albertson is pulled out of the ring by her feet!
Hunt: Woohoo!
“Sexy Bitch” Devotion pulls Ref Albertson to the floor as Threatt and Synger, the team known as Endangered Species, slide into the ring with metal bats in hand. Threatt pounds away on the back of Hodges as Synger send Phlash over the ropes with a mighty swing of his bat.
Connors: Not these two thugs again!
Hunt: I wouldn’t say that too loud, Crybaby, they might hear you and come down and beat you like they did your men on Travesty and now!
Synger picks up Epic and throws him through the ropes next to Seth and Eclipse, who are busy stomping on Logan Phlash. Threatt Irish whips Hodges to the ropes. Hodges returns and is lifted up in a flapjack by Threatt. As Hodges is coming down, Synger catches Hodges head in a neckbreaker and the Endangered Species execute…
Pike: Dying Breed (Dudley DeathDrop)!
Connors: I can’t let these thugs do this to my guys again!
Hunt: I wouldn’t do that if I were you!
“Crybaby” Bill Connors slides into the ring to only be met with a big mafia kick to the face by Threatt. The crowd pops as coming down the rampway is the Fierys, Dameon and Hades. The father and son team head directly for the Tag Team Champs inadvertently saving Logan “Bigger Than Life” Phlash.
Pike: The Fierys have just joined this chaotic scene!
Hunt: It isn’t over yet because here comes the StormRiders! We haven’t seen them since the Christmas Eve Manslaughter!
Outlaw Wales and Prey crash into Threatt and Synger. The former rivals in HKWF battle it out in the ring as Hodges and Connors are laid out. On the floor, Dameon and Hades fight Epic and Eclipse as Phlash and Seth are laid out.
Pike: We have to go to a commercial! Hopefully this mess will be cleared out when we return!
Hunt: In all this commotion I can’t even see the “Sexiest Woman in Wrestling”! Damn all these hard legs!
---Commercial---
“The first inductee into
GZW’s Ring of Honor. What wrestler past or present has made such an
impact on the minds and hearts of GZW fans that he has claimed the votes of his
peers.”
“Tune into Manslaughter on the 28th of January to witness the ceremony of the first inductee into the Ring of Honor.”
---Main Event: “Living Legend
Challenge” (if any one of the 10 men can defeat Pimp Bizkit, they will receive
a title shot at the IC Championship---
Pike: Finally for our main event is the much-anticipated Living Legend Challenge. The fans want to know, what is the Living Legend Challenge?
Hunt: Well I spoke to the Living Legend himself earlier today and he gave me the scoop. The Intercontinental Champion Pimp Bizkit feels that there is no true challenge to him in the GZW and no one can even carry his jock strap. So basically, he will take on ten men in the ring tonight, one at a time. If any one of them can beat him, then they will automatically get a title shot at the next Manslaughter!
Pike: Well the entire roster has been wanting to know who will participate in this Living Legend Challenge? Let's find out!
The IC Champion, the “Living Legend” Pimp Bizkit heads to the ring with the gold around his waist. The fans boo and boo relentlessly, but the cocky champion strides to the ring with his head held high. A fan's sign reads, "The Living Legend Challenge-not passing out from smelling his breath!"
The Living Legend sits on the top turnbuckle awaiting the first competitor.
Pike: Look! It's the Road Hogg! We saw Road Hogg get taken out at Travesty by Sincere! This has to be some sort of joke!
Hunt: Don't underestimate the H-O-Double Geezy! These jobbers are very resilient!
The Road Hogg sips and spits bottled water as he comes down to the ring. He is also heard muttering something about getting rowdy. The Hogg gets into the ring. The IC Champion, showing that he is a good sport, let's the Road Hogg get the first shot.
Pike: What is he doing?
Hunt: Pimp is letting the Hogg get the first punch in! What a nice guy!
The Road Hogg moves in and lands a quick left jab. The Hogg is surprised of the accuracy of his jab and goes and connects with another one. The Hogg then hits another left jab. Happy that he landed three left jabs, the Road Hogg does a little dance.
Pike: What the heck?
Hunt: The Hogg is getting jiggy! The Running Man, the Cabbage Patch, the Achy Breaky!
The Hogg then winds back and goes for a big right hand, but Pimp is tired of being nice. Pimp blocks the right hand and levels the Hogg with a big right hand of his own.
Hunt: Boomshakalaka!
Pimp lifts up the Hogg, hooks his head and legs and drops him with a fisherman suplex. The count by Senior Referee Richard Dark.
Pike: 1…2…3! The Hogg is gone!
Hunt: Guess he wasn't rowdy enough!
Pike: That's one down! Who is next? Why it's Big Lazy Nevin Kash! And he's got a beer in his hand!
Hunt: Why Big Lazy must have been hanging with the College Crew! You know Big Lazy doesn't drink!
Pike: Sure Hunt, Big Lazy doesn't drink. And you don't like hot young blondes!
Hunt: Blondes? Where?!?
Big Lazy gets in the ring as Pimp sizes up the wobbly-kneed 7footer. Big Lazy dares Pimp to "bring it cuz Big Lazy is in da hizzouse!" Big Lazy even pulls down his shoulder straps.
Hunt: Oh no! He's pulled down the straps! Look out!
Pimp pulls in to tie up with the big man, but Big Lazy just collapses to the mat. Pimp, stunned, makes the cover for an easy three count.
Pike: What the?!? I think Big Lazy passed out drunk!
Hunt: Or maybe he was hallucinating and thought he saw Bulk Bogan pushing him with one finger! Either way, that is two down in the Living Legend Challenge!
Pike: Here comes competitor number three...X-Lax, the 4-5-6 Kid!
Hunt: What? He's still alive?
X-Lax runs down to the ring and does some hopping and some silly looking gestures to his crotch. X-Lax goes for a spin kick, but the IC Champion ducks it. X-Lax turns around only to get dropped with a sweet T-bone suplex by Pimp. Pimp lifts up the skinny bearded one and drops him on his head with a sheer drop brainbuster. The one footed pin by Pimp.
1…2…
Pike: Three! Out goes X-Lax!
Hunt: What a gas!
Pike: This hasn't been much of a challenge at all Hunt!
Hunt: What do you mean? He's faced some great competition. It's just that Pimp Bizkit is such a dominant wrestler!
Competitor number four comes down to the ring, The Nun, Billy Dumb.
Pike: Oh boy. It's the Nun!
Hunt: He can't fool me; he will always be an ass!
The Nun gets in the ring. Pimp quickly levels him with a clothesline. The Living Legend then lifts up the Nun in a gorilla press and then drops him not on his back, but awkwardly down on his neck.
Pike: Chocolate covered Dunkin’ Donuts! Pimp with such a press slam reminiscent of The Nun's shoddy ring work! He just got dropped on his neck!
The champ gets on top of The Nun and applies a camel clutch, working on the neck. The Nun quickly taps out!
Pike: Another one bites the dust! Who is number five going to be?
Hunt: It's Mince Musso! (OOC: this character is a parody of Vince Russo of WCW infamy…if you don’t know ask me later…Tate)
Pike: What is he doing here? He's a booker!
Hunt: Don't forget, he has destroyed many a career in wrestling! He's a force to be reckoned with!
Musso gets in the ring wearing a New York Giants helmet and a Yankees jersey. Musso gets in Pimp's face and says something about big apples. Pimp, the great New Englander, is unimpressed by Musso's rantings. Pimp lifts up Musso and drops him on his "lower extremities" with an inverted atomic drop.
Pike: Ouch! His big apples got turned into applesauce!
Pimp rips the helmet off of Musso's head. Musso slowly gets up, clutching his small package. Pimp tosses the helmet to Musso. Musso catches it, but then gets a superkick, kicking the helmet into Musso's face. The cover by Pimp and Musso is eliminated.
Pike: Down goes Musso! Boy, this is not pretty at all!
Number six comes out of from the stage entrance...Arvid Daquette!
Pike: What? An actor?!? This isn't some lame fed this is the GZW! We don't have actors in the ring!
Hunt: I wouldn't really call him an actor. Have you seen his work? I've seen better acting in porno flicks!
The skinny and weak man gets into the ring and charges at Pimp Bizkit, going for a spear. The spear connects, but Pimp is still standing. Daquette falls to the floor.
Pike: This isn't WCW, son! No one is going to hand you some gold, especially to you!
Hunt: He best Call ATT for some help!
Pimp lifts up Arvid Daquette, hooks his arms and drops him on his head with a tiger driver '91. The pin by Pimp and the feeble little man is eliminated!
Pike: Boy what a shock, Arvid Daquette is gone.
Competitor number seven is...
Pike: The American Fat Ass!
Hunt: He'll be rollin', rollin', rollin' all right...rollin' in an ambulance if he steps to the Intercontinental Champ!
The former mortician/graveyard dweller turned biker comes down to the ring.
Pike: Why is he spitting tobacco all over the place?
Hunt: Don't you know, spitting tobacco means that you are a tough bad ass! And it gets the chicks!
The American Fat Ass gets in the ring and mumbles some incoherent crap. Pimp looks to Senior Ref Dark and shrugs his shoulders. Pimp then nails a massive right hand, knocking out a wad of chewing tobacco. The Living Legend with the cover.
Pike: One, two, three! The Fat Ass is gone! Boy, that didn't last very long!
Hunt: Isn't that what your wife said last night?
Pike (ignoring Hunt): Only three more competitors left in the Living Legend Challenge. I don't think Pimp has broken a sweat yet!
Next out from the backstage area...
Pike: Look! It's the final three men, the huge masked wrestlers from Mexico, Villiano VIII, IX and X! Are they going to take out Pimp Bizkit at the same time?
Hunt: Trust me, there is plenty of the Living Legend to go around. He's handled three before, but then again, they weren't men!
The three masked men get in the ring. Villiano VIII charges at Pimp, but the Nice Guy nails him with a clothesline. Villiano IX moves in. Pimp kicks Number 9 in the gut and then implant DDTs him onto Villiano VIII. Villiano X shakes his head and backs off, not wanting a piece of the Living Legend. Pimp covers both Villiano VIII and IX.
Pike: 1…2…3! Villiano VIII and IX are gone! The only one left is Villiano X! I don't think Villiano X wants any part of Pimp Bizkit!
Hunt: Can you blame him? He's a living legend!
Villiano X is on his knees, begging for Pimp to spare him. The Champ just looks at Villiano X and laughs. Villiano X evens goes as far as to lie down for the IC Champ.
Pike: I think Villiano X just wants Pimp to cover him!
Hunt: He's not as stupid as he looks! He doesn't want to get Played-A-Live! There is no shame in getting pinned by the Living Legend!
The IC Champion flashes a cocky smirk to the booing crowd and goes to cover the man. But as Pimp moves in, Villiano X quickly rolls up Pimp in a small package, taking the Champion by surprise. Senior Ref Dark makes the count.
1…2...
Pike: Three! Villiano X just rolled up Pimp for the win! Do you believe in miracles?!?
Hunt: What the heck? I demand a recount!
Pike: This means that Villiano X will get a shot at the Intercontinental Title!
Villiano X quickly rolls out of the ring. Pimp is irate, kicking the ring ropes. The fans cheer as the Senior Ref Dark goes out to the rampway to raise the hand of Villiano X. Pimp cannot believe it. As he stands victorious in the aisle, Villiano X grabs his mask, pulling it off to reveal...
Pike: T-Rex! It was The Enforcer! T-Rex will get a chance to claim the GZW Intercontinental Title!
Hunt: This is a tragedy! How can this happen?
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