Friday Night Travesty
“Bad Boy 4 Life” by P. Diddy and the Bad Boy Family blasts around the arena as pyros explode at the entrance way. The GZW fans cheer like crazy and wave heir signs in the air. One reads “I want a cookie!”.
Will: Hewwo evewyone and thank you fow joining us hewe tonight. We have a gweat show pwanned fow you aww and
I am suwe you will be satisfied! I am
Will, and sitting next to me is…
Dean: Dean Fisher! The man who
is gonna team with the “Living Legend” Pimp!
We are gonna kick some Baz and Maxx ass! But, that will be in a few, lets get started with our first
match!
---Debut match---
---Jake
Mackinnon vs. Freak Mauler---
Will: first up we have the debut
match between Jake Mackinnon on Fweak Mauwer
Dean: I thought Jakes debut was last
week?
Will: no wast week was ment to be
his debut match against some guy named Big John, but he was attacked by El
Gambit before the match
(footage rolls and shows El Gambit attacking Jake Mackinnon and slamming him in the head with his cosh)
Dean: ahhhhhh yes I remember now,
what a devestating weapon El Gambit has there. The number one wrestler from
Gibralter! you have got to love the guy!
Will: weww I hate the guy he’s a
mean bwutaw son of a ..........
(With that Freak Mauler begins to
make his way to ring, he is greeted by almost silence from the crowd, as he
walks down the rampway)
Dean: why hasn’t he got any entrance
music after all he is a signed wrestler!
Will: I guess he hasn’t been
assigned any. I think he might want to sort that out for his next match!
Dean: yea even most jobbers have
entrance music! even Giggles/Wylder had “What a girl wants” by Christina
Aguillera...... frightening!
(“Tattered and Torn” by slipknot
suddenly begins to blast out of the speakers on the PA system, and Jake
Mackinnon emerges at the top of the ramp-way and is greeted by a mixed reaction
from the crowd)
Dean: see even the newest of
wrestlers has entrance music yet Freak Mauler doesn’t? as some guy from another
fed night say What’s up with that?
Will: whooooosh, I don’t think Jake
wiww have hura powers though!
Dean: anyway I heard this guy saying
he was born in Russia yet he isn’t Russian? hehe he’s thicker than Basildon
Bond, and Maxx Pain! if that’s at all possible!
Will: Dean we aw know where you are
born is your nationality I think he was trying to say he didn’t live in Russia!
Dean: I wouldn’t want to live there
either! apparently its cold!
(The two begin to circle each other,
and both men’s eyes are firmly locked onto each other, as they begin to circle
each other, as referee Adam Lowe calls for the bell to begin the match)
Dean: is this a new referee?
Will: I think I have seen him once
before but I could just be me!
(Jake and Freak lock up, and Jake
takes the advantage by turning Freak straight into a headlock, but Freak pushes
him off, Jake bounces off the ropes, and Freak goes to the mat, and Jake runs
over him, and bounces off the opposite ropes, this time Freak leapfrogs the
running Jake, who again bounces off the ropes, but this time is met by a
spinning heel kick by Freak Mauler)
Will: nice move by fweak there!
Dean: I think I may take a nap!
(Freak picks up Jake, and lays in a
couple of knife-edge chops sending Jake to the corner, Freak then goes to whip
Jake across to the opposite turnbuckle, but its reversed by Jake, and Freak
smashes into the turnbuckle)
Will: weversaw by Jake!
(Jake goes to follow up with a
splash, and connects, he then drags Freak out of the corner, and puts his head
under his arm in the DDT position, and makes his way to the second rope)
Will: couwd this be a tornado DDT
here by Jake!
Dean: who cares, as long as this
match is over=quickly I don’t care what happens this is just a jobber match!
(Jake goes for the tornado DDT, but
Freak lifts him up higher, and then drops him face first to the canvas, Freak
takes advantage, and makes the cover, Referee Adam Lowe makes the cover)
ONE..........
Will: mistake by Jake going for
quite a wisky move eawwy on!
TWO........
Dean: hehehe He needs to learn!
(KICKOUT, by Jake)
Dean: guess I was just hoping it was
over rather than it being a possibility
Will: but you never know Stranger
things happen!
(Freak Picks up Jake, and lays in a
couple of measured rights, he begins to wind his third up)
Dean: third time lucky?
(Freak goes for the third right, but
Jake ducks, and counters into a reverse DDT, into a cover, and the ref makes
the cover)
ONE...........
Dean: to quite early covers!
TWO........
Will: both men eager to win!
(KICKOUT by Freak)
Dean: another two count!
Will: neither man wanting to budge
here!
(Jake picks up Freak, and lays in a
knee smash to the face of freak, he attempts to follow up with a clothesline,
but freak manages to duck, Jake bounces off the far ropes, and then nails Freak
with a flying clothesline, then makes the pinning attempt, and the ref makes
the cover)
ONE.........
Dean: do these new guys never learn
to pin only when you think you have got it! It’s a couple of extra seconds for
your opponent to get a breather
TWO.......
(KICKOUT, by Freak)
Will: Freak Mauler refusing to
give-up this battle!
(Jake gets up to his feet quickly,
and Freak is on all fours, Jake lays in a boot to knock him back down to the
floor before picking Freak up. Jake kicks freak in the mid-section, and picks
him up onto his shoulder)
Will: Jake beginning to get the
advantage now in this match
Dean: yea but how long will he keep
it?
(Jake begins to run looking for the
shoulder breaker, but Freak slides down the back of Jake, and pushes him into
the turnbuckle. Jake hits the turnbuckle, but bounces back out only to be
kicked into the mid-section by Freak Mauler)
Dean: and as soon as I say the
momentum changes!
Will: geesh you always seem to think
the worwd wevowves around you don’t you Dean?
Dean: that’s because it usually
does!
(Freak Places Jake between his legs,
and pulls him up looking for a powerbomb, he brings him down, to the canvas
with a thunderous crash, into a pining predicament, and referee Adam Lowe makes
the cover)
ONE............
Dean: and its two all in covers
made, but this one might actually count!
(Freak puts his legs on the ropes
for extra leverage)
TWO.........
Will: Fweak cheating trying to get
an unfaiw advantage here!
(The referee Adam Lowe spots Freaks
legs on the ropes, and breaks up the count, and Freak begins to complain to the
referee)
Dean: ahhhh jeez I thought we might
have just got this match over and done with!
Will: not so, good spot from the
referee there!
(Freak continues to complain to the
referee, and when he turns around he finds Jake, who hits him with a scissor
kick, before slowly making his way to the turnbuckle were he climbs to the top
rope)
Dean: Jake going high risk again!
Will: wiww it pay off this time
(Freak is up to his feet, and pushes
the referee into the ropes, causing Jake to low-blow himself on the turnbuckle,
the referee lectures Freak)
Dean: ahahahaha no more baby Jakes!
Will: unfortunate for Jake there,
but that is why they caww it high Wisk!
(Freak gets up to his feet fairly
slowly, but as he is at his feet Jake is still motionless at the top of the
turnbuckle. Freak climbs the turnbuckle, and sets him up ready for a suplex)
Will: Fweak wooking for a sup-plex
now!
Dean: there isn’t nothing super
about this match!
(Jake manages, to get his thumb to
the eyes of Freak, Freak falls back of the top rope, and Jake gets down to the
second rope, but Freak is quickly back up to his feet, and goes to lay a right
in on Jake, but Jake blocks it, and then hits a tornado DDT)
Will: he gets the Tornado DDT on the
second attempt
Dean: make the cover now!
(Jake doesn’t make the cover though
he makes his way back up to the top rope, as Freak still lies motionless on the
canvas, and Jake comes off with a ............)
Will: ROCKET (see Roster), one of
Jakes trademark maneuvers.
Dean: now make the cover
(Jake makes the cover, and the
referee Adam Lowe makes the cover)
ONE............
Will: surewy over after that
devastating move!
TWO..........
Dean: yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaa, its gonna
be over!
THREE...........
(Ding Ding Ding)
Dean: there we have it Jake wins,
I’m just glad its over!
Will: Jake has won his debut match
here in the GZW against Fweak Mauwer!
---Number
one-contendership for the tag-team championship---
---“Mr.
Risky Business” Epic Mazur & Eclipse vs. Diamond Sledge & Gideon vs.
Will: what a tweat we have for our
fans next!
Dean: yea we certainly do we have
Epic, Eclipse, Gunman and Gambit competeing in the same match, what a match
this will be
Will: not forgetting Diamond and
Gideon!
Dean: who?
Will: nevermind! anyway this match
is going to be one aggressive match up with more few being added to the feud
between that Wisky Business crew and the Peacekeepers!
(clips are shown from last week,
with Epic, smashing a glass container over the head of Diamond)
Dean: yea but the one thing they
can’t do is keep this crew peaceful!
Will: and just to spice things up a
wittwe we have Ew Gambit added to this match, and we aww know that he has been
having quite the fued with Diamond awso.
(Clips of Diamond being busted open
by Gambit are shown, then it fades into Diamond wrecking Gambits Harley)
Dean: WOOOOO Diamond is going to pay
for trashing up Gambits bike, and for holding Epic down, infact to look at it
he is really going to get severally beaten up!
Will: and wast but not weast Gunman
has been added into this as Gambits tag partner.
Dean: yea and he deserves it, after
all he and Len defeated T-Rex and Magic in a match on last weeks MNM!
Will: it was a cheap win, because
they bribed the weferee into giving them a quick count!
Dean: hey a wins a win Willie!
(“Mr. Writer” by the Stereophonics
begins to play on the PA system, and “Mr Risky Business” Epic Mazur and Eclipse
make there way down to the ring, the crowd greet them with a chorus of boos,
and a sign reads “Money Can’t buy me!” being held up by a chubby girl)
Dean: hahahaha have you seen that
sign? money can definitely buy her, and not for very much by the looks of her!
Will: don’t be mean Dean, shes one
of our gweat fans and you shouwd wespect that!
Dean: thats onwy because you fancy
her Will!
(“Left behind” by Slipknot begins to
play on the PA system, and Gunman is showered by boos from the crowd, and he
emerges at the top of the ramp-way, suddenly the music stops and “Violent Mood
Swings” by Stabbing Westwards begins to play on the PA system, Gambit emerges
at the top of the ramp-way, and him and Gunman put there fists together, and
the two walk slowly down to the ringside)
Will: just one more team left in
this number one contendership match!
Dean: yea the worst team!
Will: I think the fans may disagree
on you there!
Dean: so what, at least there is
good team spirit in the ring, and I expect them to work together!
(“Name of the Game” by Crystal Meth
begins to play on the PA system, both Diamond, and Gideon make a be-line for
the ring, and rush down the ramp-way, as the fans cheer, as they run down and
slide into the ring)
Dean: if these two idiots wanted to
get beat down so badly, then I would have arranged it for them!
Will: vewy funny Dean!
(Gambit, and Epic begin to stomp
away on Diamond, as do Eclipse and Gunman on Gideon, almost simultaneously both
men are picked up off the canvas, and whiped into the ropes, Gambit, and Epic
execute a double flapjack on Diamond, who lands face first on the mat, and
Eclipse and Gunman execute a double back body drop on Gideon who sent to the
outside)
Will: onwy thwee men are ment to
begin this thing, and aww six have done, its triple threat rules until one team
has been eliminated, and is sent to the back!
Dean: yes but Diamond might not even
have a partner after that back body drop!
(Gunman and Eclipse make their way
to their respective corners, meanwhile Gambit, and Epic begin to take turns in
nailing Diamond with measured punches)
Dean: that’s it boys get rid of the
weakest link first!
Will: Diamond won’t take this lying
down!
Dean: looks like he is to me!
(Epic goes to lay in his third
measured punch on Diamond, when Gambit blindsides him with a forearm to the
back of Epics head)
Dean: no no no no no work as a team
you four, and get rid of this idiot first!
Will: wooks wike Gambit wants to
take out everybody whos in the Light-heavy weight division and that includes
Epic!
(Gambit whips Epic into the ropes,
Epic bounces off and Gambit ducks and Epic leaps over, bouncing off the
opposite ropes, and then going for a cross body, but is caught by Gambit, who
capitalizes into a throw (a la Bradshaw/Fall-a-way Slam))
Dean: nice move by Gambit, but he
should take out Diamond and Gideon first!
(Diamond has managed to crawl over
to his corner, but Gideon is still lying on the outside still suffering the
effects of the back body drop by Eclipse and Gunman)
Dean: hahahaha nobody there!
Will: shame, the Peacekeepers really
are worst for ware now!
(Gambit drags Diamond out of the
corner, and stamps on his chest, Diamond then curls up in a ball of pain as
Gambit picks him, up and whips him into the opposite to his corner were Gunman
is, Gunman takes advantage of the opportunity as he begins to strangle Diamond)
Will: wook at that Gunman cheating
on the outside!
Dean; Yeah I know sheer brilliance
brains by Gunman there, taking opportunity of every situation!
(Gambit looks round to find Epic,
and as he does he see Epic tagging in Eclipse into the match)
Dean: Eclipse is going to show us
what exactly he is capable of!
Will: weww maybe he shouwd have
tryed to prove his worth the right way?
(Eclipse comes running into the
ring, and knocks Gambit down with a clothesline, he carries on and bounces off
the ropes, and knocks down Gambit again as he has just got back up he then
bounces off the far ropes, but stops himself by hooking his arms on the top
rope, Gambit then charges at Eclipse knocking him over the top rope to the
outside, as Gideon is now seen using the ropes to pull himself up in his
corner)
Dean: whoa Gambit, and Eclipse to
the outside!
Will: come on keep this one in the
wing pwease!
(Epic climbs into the ring, as the
referee begins to count out Gambit and Eclipse. Epic gets in, and grabs hold of
Diamond and hits him with........)
Dean: the Epic Battle (see on the
roster) Epics finisher Diamond is out of it!
Will: oh no Epic wasn’t even wegaw!
(On the outside Eclipse and Gambit are
rolling back and forth nailing each other with blows, eventually Gambit gets
the advantage, and gets to his feet, but as he does Gideon comes off the apron
with an ax handle on Gambit)
Will: the weferee is twying
desperatewy to get these men in the wing!
Dean: the rules are there to be
broken
(Epic gets to were the action is on
the outside as he rolls Eclipse in, who rolls onto Diamond for the cover)
Dean: that’s it count Diamond out of
it!
ONE...........
Will: it has to be inevitable Epic
has hit the Epic battle!
TWO.......
THREE......
Will: noooooo Diamond kicked out at
the last minute!
Dean: damn!, that was a slow count!
(the fans are on there feet trying
to rally Diamond to get to his feet, both Diamond and Eclipse get up slowly
simultaneously, and Eclipse throws a right, which is blocked by Diamond and
followed up with a headbutt. Eclipse then try’s a left that is blocked by
Diamond and followed up with a headbutt, and then hits.....)
Will: Dumped (X Factor)!
Dean: nooooo
Will: out of nowhere there and it
may have just bought Diamond some time here
(the crowd are up on their feet
stomping, and clapping as Diamond edges nearer to his corner, as Gideon has got
on the apron awaiting for the tag)
Will: wiww he get there!?
Dean; nooooo come on somebody do
something!
(there crowd is now whistling, and
chanting “Diamond Diamond” as he edges ever closer to his corner)
Will: DIAMOND DIAMOND!
Dean: now don’t you start!
(Gideon is reaching out, and Diamond
begins to reach his arm out to tag in Gideon, but from out of nowhere Gambit
comes, and pulls Gideon off the ropes and rams his head into the steel steps,
then whips him into the security rail)
Will: nooooo
Dean: mwahahaha never doubt thet man
from Gibralter!
(Gambit now slides back into the
ring, Eclipse begins to edge towards his corner, and Gambit walks over, and
tags Gunman into the match)
Dean: time for Gunman to do some
damage now!
Will: I think this match has got to
be beyond Diamond
(Gunman goes straight over to
Diamond, and begins to choke him with his boot in his own corner, and Eclipse
manages to make the tag to Epic)
Dean: I think Business is about to
pick up again!
Will: very funny Dean “Mr. Wisky
Business” and business is about to pick up! about the cwevewest thing you have
ever said!
(Epic walks over with a cocky stride, and knocks Gunman over the
top rope with a dropkick, Epic talks trash to Gunman who lies on the outside of
the ring)
Will: stop twash tawking and fight
damn-it!
Dean: hey you might as well trash
talk when you have as much time as Epic has
(as if on cue Diamond rolls Epic up
in a schoolboy for the cover)
ONE........
Will: you were saying?
TWO..........
Dean: ahhhh shut up!
THREE...........
Dean: phew Epic managed to roll out
of it there!
Will: unwucky there for Diamond
(Epic is quickly up to his feet and
looks shocked, he then stomps on Diamond a couple of times, before picking him
up to his feet, and whipping him into his corner)
Dean: that little pipsqueak Diamond
won’t get away with that sneaky move!
Will: weww he has the wight idea!
(Eclipse begins to choke Diamond
from the outside, Epic walks over and Eclipse releases the holds while Epic
lays a couple of punches to Diamonds stomach, then tagging Eclipse back into
the match)
Dean: what great teamwork by Eclipse
and Epic here in this match!
Will: yea but wook at Diamond
battling on bwavely!
Dean: yea he’s had the crap kicked
out of him by everybody no wonder he’s down in the dumps hahahaha!
(Eclipse then whips Diamond to the
opposite side of the ring, and charges in looking for a big splash, but Gunman
is there and pulls Diamond out of the way, and Eclipse gets full contact with
the turnbuckle, Gunman then enters the ring by going through the middle ropes,
and he stalks Eclipse until he turns around, and he hits the.....)
Dean: WOOOOOO the Sniper rifle (see
roster) by Gunman, one of his trademark maneuvers, could this win him the
match?
(Gunman makes the cover hooking the
right leg)
ONE........
Will: this could spell the end for
this team!
TWO......
Dean: wiww we be down to two teams
here?
THREE..........
Dean: no thank god!
Will: Epic managed at the wast
mini-second to stop the third count from going down! keeping aww thwee teams
stiww in this match-up wemember its ewimination rules here!
(the referee argues with Epic to get
him out for the ring, and Gambit spies his opportunity to get into the action
himself, as Gunman picks up Eclipse, and they both whip Eclipse into the ropes,
however they do not see Diamond tag Gideon into the match, and Gideon rushes in
and intercepts Eclipse with a spear)
Dean: what no!
Will: yes Gideon finawwy into the
match now, and Eclipse is feewing the effects of it
(the crowd erupt realizing that the
tag has been made, Gambit and Gunman look at each other, and run at Gideon
knocking him over the top rope)
Dean; hahaha that rained on the fans
parade!
Will: unfortunately so!
(Eclipse now spies his opportunity,
by rolling up Gunman in a small package, as the referee turns around)
ONE........
Dean: I didn’t see that coming
either!
TWO......
Will: weww spotted chance by Ecwipse
there!
(Gambit breaks up the count, with a
kick to the back of Eclipse)
Dean: but you don’t defeat the
Gunman that easily, not then good ol’ Gambit is around
(the referee pushers Gambit out of
the Ring, and Eclipse drives Gunman into the turnbuckle were Epic is, and the
two begin to team-up on Gunman, but as they do Gideon climbs back into the
ring, and tags in Diamond, who charges over to were Gunman is being double
teamed, and knocks Eclipse over the top rope with a clothesline, and then uses
a back elbow to knock Epic off the apron)
Will: Diamond turning it up a notch
now!
Dean: he’s cheating, he’s hitting
somebody who isn’t wegawy in this match!
(the referee now turns round to see
what’s happening, and the referee yells at Diamond, telling him to get out, as
he didn’t see the tag)
Will: what noooo, weferee you did
that before too!
Dean: I know they like to cheat that
team, makes me sick!
Will: I thought you wiked those
tactics?
(Gideon comes back into the ring,
and sees Gunman getting up to his feet, and he picks him up onto his shoulders
and hits.....)
Will: THE MOMENT OF ZEN (carry into
a diamond cutter move known as TKO) ...... Gideon’s finisher!
Dean: noooooo
(Gideon hooks his leg, and the
referee makes the cover)
ONE..........
Will: I think we’ww say night night
to the Gunman!
TWO......
Dean: not funny
THREE.........
Will: nooo
Dean: ahahaha Gambit with the save
again, what a moonsault that was, by Gambit, landing right on top of Gideon to
break up the count
(the referee, again orders Gambit
out the ring)
Will: this is no fair
(Gideon gets back up to his feet,
and Picks Gunman up, but Eclipse has already slid back into the ring, and from
behind Gideon he hits the.......)
Dean: ahahahaha its the Out of the
Light (Superkick to temple, not like Tajiri's because the opponent is still
standing up)
Will: a gweat twademark maneuver by
Ecwipse this could be it!
(Eclipse throws Gunman out of the
ring, and makes the cover and the referee turns around and makes the cover)
ONE.........
Dean: woooo hoooooo
TWO.....
(Epic pulls Diamond off the ring
apron, and slams his head into the steel steps, he then points and laughs at
him, as he makes his way back to his corner)
THREE.......
(Ding Ding Ding)
Dean: well that’s got rid of the
rubbish now we are down to the last two teams, Gambit and Gunman, against Epic
and Eclipse, who will win?
Will: what a shame, aww the men are
giving it there aww here, especiawwy Gideon and Diamond, and now there out of
it!
(Gideon rolls out of the ring, and
helps his partner Diamond yup, and they head backstage, as the other two teams
waste no time in the ring, as Eclipse brings Gambit into the ring, by using the
top rope as a sling shot)
Dean: hey go after Gunman he’s the
one who is more or less out of it, he’s had the moment of Zen hit on him!
Will: fair point Dean!
(Eclipse picks up Gambit slowly, but
Gambit manages to get his thumb to Eclipses eyes, and then he hits the.....)
Dean: ROCK OF GIBRALTER!!!!! (A
Reverse Implant DDT [get opponent in a reverse DDT position, grab their tights
and lift them up, then spike then with a reverse DDT with their feet off the
ground).
Will: Gambits finisher there should
be no getting up from that!
(Gambit rolls to the outside, and
rolls Gunman into the ring, and Gunman lets his arm dangle over Eclipse, and
the referee makes the cover)
ONE..........
Dean: looks like we have got the new
number one contenders here!
TWO.......
Will: weww wiww it be Dameon and
Hades or the Storm Riders?
THREE.....
Dean: no Epic, just made the save of
the day!
Will: yea I don’t particularly agwee
with stoping the count wike that but its certainwy effective, with an elbow to
the back of Gunman’s head
(Gambit rushes into the ring
frustrated, and he goes for a clothesline but Epic ducks, and Gambit turns
around, and gets kicked in the stomach, and Epic sets him up for the Epic
Battle (swinging neckbreaker), but Gambit pushes him into the ropes, anbd Epic
goes under the ropes, but Gambit follows up with a baseball slide)
Dean: all hell is breaking loose
here, all of these me so desperately want a shot at the GZW tag-team
championships
Will: can you bwame them for that
though? evewybody wants gowd, but theres a wight way, and a wrong way to go
about it!
Dean: the right way is the way that
works!
(inside the ring, Gunman both begin
to get to there feet, on the outside Gunman picks up Epic off the floor, and
whips Epic into the steel ringpost)
Dean: ouch, Epics shoulder may be
badly hurt now!
Will: aww of these four men wefusing
top give in here!
(Gambit gets up on the apron,
awaiting Epic to get to his feet, Epic begins to get to his feet slowly.
Meanwhile in the ring, both Gunman, and Eclipse are to there feet, Gunman
throws a right hand at Eclipse but Eclipse manages to block it, and pushes
Gunman back into the ropes were Gambit is, Gambit gets knocked off the apron,
onto the anounce table, and Gunman looks dazed)
Will: incoming!
Dean: whoa our table didn’t go
through phew!
(Eclipse rolls Gunman up in a small
package, and the referee makes the cover)
ONE...........
Dean: could this opportunity be
grasped by Eclipse!
TWO.......
Will: Ecwipse ever opportunistic!
THREE.........
(Ding, Ding Ding)
Will: whoa after that reawwy hard
fought battwe a point of mis-fortune is what wins the match for Epic, and
Ecwipse!
Dean: well it was an opportunity,
and we should know by now these guys don’t pass up opportunities like that
---Commercial---
(The commercial opens up with Ass Clown holding a
camera, and Happy Sumo, waving at the camera stood behind a shop, with a man
washing widows behind him. The camera that Ass Clown is holding suddenly says
Battery Low, and so he begins to take out the battery)
(then
all of a sudden the a car, comes out of the blue, and hits the shop, and the
Widow Cleaner lands on the roof, and then slate falls off the roof, the shop is
on fire were the car hit the shop, and then widow cleaner looks in pain, Happy
Sumo then looks at Ass Clown as if to say “you get that?”, and Ass Clown looks
down at his camera, and looks miffed)
voiceover:
ever feel you missed something great?, well then when Acceptable Risks
Pay-Per-View comes out makes sure you DON’T MISS OUT
(the
scene fades to black)
---End Of Commercial---
---Tag-Team
Grudge Match---
---“Living
Legend” Pimp Bizkit & Dean Fisher vs. Maxx Pain & Basildon Bond---
“My Way” by
Limp Bizkit blasts through the PA system as Maxx Pain makes his arrival onto
the ramp-way. He walks down to a
semi-cheer from the fans. A few signs
read “Make a decision on which side you are on, before you kill your own
career!” and another sign beside that one reads “Too late!”
Will: I would say Maxx Pain and Bawsildon have a
good chance hewe tonight.
Will * imitating Dean
*: Yes that is twue Will, vewy good
point!
Will: Why thank you Dean.
Dean: I’m still here you idiot!
"On Her Magesty's
Secret Service" by Propellerheads echos throughout the arena as Basildon
Bond comes out from behind the curtain, followed by Crystal with a small purse
in hand. The fans give him a respective and great ovation because he is
continuing the legacy of Smooth. Before he could get all the way down to the
ring, Dean comes running from the announce table and attacks Baz from behind as
the crowd boos. Dean picks up Baz and tosses him into the steel post outside of
the ring. Dean then rolls into the ring, but is kicked many times by Maxx. Maxx
lifts Dean and Irish whips him, and as he comes back, Maxx executes a vicious.
Will: This match seems to be going Maxx’s way!
Suddenly "Ya Don't
see the signs" by Mark B and Blade plays as Pimp comes running down and
rolls into the ring. The crowd gives Pimp a flood of boos. Pimp clotheslines
Maxx in the back of his head, sending him face first into the canvas. Baz gets
back on the apron, and makes his way to the top turnbuckle. He waits for Dean
to stand up, and he does, then Baz leaps off, and hits Dean down with a frog
splash cross body. The ref now tells Pimp and Maxx to get into their corners.
Baz picks up Deam, and sends him into his corner where Maxx is waiting for the
tag. He tags Maxx, as he climbs through the ropes.
Will: This couwd mean some twouble fow Dean!
The two start to kick Dean in the stomach over and over. The ref
tells Baz to get into his corner, and he follows orders. Maxx picks up Dean by the hair, and tosses
him, almost tearing his hair out of his head. Maxx walks over to Dean and slaps
the back of his head, and starts trash talking him. Pimp then extends his leg,
and trips Maxx. Dean gets back up, and leaps into his corner, tagging Pimp.
Pimp hops into the ring, and heads straight for Maxx. He starts off with a few
punches then does many knife edge chops to the chest of Maxx as the fans go
"Wooooooooo!" after every slap to the chest.
Will: Pimp bwinging back the owd schoow moves
thewe!
Pimp then tosses Maxx into an empty turnbuckle (Meaning a
turnbuckle with no tag partners) and charges at him, jumps, and slams both of
his knees right into Maxx's gut. Maxx goes down, holding his stomach in pain.
Pimp picks up Maxx, and tosses him across the ropes, but Baz grabs Pimp’s hair,
and slams him into the mat. Maxx walks over to Baz and tags him in.
Will: Time fow Bwaz to get payback on Pimp!
Baz gets in, and pounds
Pimp’s head with his fists. Baz now picks up Pimp and puts him in a front
headlock, then spins Pimp and connects with a neckbreaker. Pimp grabs his head
for a while, and slowly tries to get to his feet. But before he can, Baz kicks
him. Pimp tries to get up gain, but Baz kicks him one more time. Pimp does it
again, but this time catches Baz’s foot, and does a perfect dragon screw. Pimp
then crawls to his corner and makes to tag to Dean. Dean gets into the ring,
and picks up his opponent, then tosses him across the ropes and runs and hits
Baz with a clothesline. Dean then
charges at Maxx and knocks him off the apron. Maxx stands back up, and tries to
get in but the ref holds him back. Maxx
Then pushes the ref down taking the weakling out. Pimp suddenly comes into the
ring with a chair and cracks it over Maxx’s head! He then goes to hit Baz down, but he just before he splits his
head open, Crystal slides the chair out of his hands.
Will: Cwystal not wetting ewegall actions go
unseen! Good move by her!
Pimp looks at Crystal and
grabs her by the hair. She screams loud
in pain. She then spits in Pimp’s face,
then kicks him where the sun don’t shine.
She then takes the chair and slams it over Pimp’s back! Dean charges at Crystal fast, but Baz pushes
Crystal out of the way. Dean takes his
chances and takes Baz down with a tacky spear.
Crystal rolls out of ring and picks up her purse and pulls out some
perfume. She then gets back into the
ring and waits for Dean to turn around.
She then sprays the substance into his eyes!
Will: Cwystal just spwayed Dean with that pewfume!
Pimp then gets into the
ring behind Crystal and applies Final Choke (Tazz Mission)!!! The crowd boos like crazy. Baz gets up and gives Pimp a low-blow as he
lets go of the move. Maxx Pain waits
for the blind Dean to get up, and as he does he hits him a running big
boot. He then sees Pimp leaned forward
from the low-blow and he goes for the running big boot to him. He lifts his leg up, inches away from Pimp’s
head, but he ducks. Maxx Pain end’s up
taking out Baz!!!
Will: HOWY CHICKENS IN A DOWG WACE! Maxx Pain just took out his own pawtnew with
that vicious move!
Pain stands in shock and
leans forward to check on Baz. Pimp
then sneaks behind and rolls him up with a small package as the ref gets back
his strength to make the count. Dean
also applies his weight to Maxx Pain…
One...
Will: Not wike this!
Two...
Will: Noooooooooooooooooo!
Three...
Will: Wait, Maxx Pain
isn’t the weagaw man!!! I’ww be wight
back fowks.
Will steps up from his
seat and motions the ref his way. The
ref leans over the rope and Will whispers something into his ear. The ref then jumps out of the ring and walks
over to the ring announcer, and whispers something in her ear. She nods and raises the mic.
Announcer: The match will continue! The legal opponent wasn’t pinned for the
three count!
Dean looks down upon Will
with anger. Will looks up and makes a
wickedly grin, and places the headphones back on. Baz gets back to his feet, and takes out Dean from behind. Dean staggers around for a while. Baz then tosses Dean out of the ring. The ref rushes over to force Maxx Pain back
to his corner. Meanwhile Pimp works on
Maxx Pain, laying a few punches to his head.
Baz walks over and takes Pimp down with a dropkick to the side of his
head. The ref then pushes Maxx Pain to
his corner. He follows orders and
climbs back on the ring apron. Baz
picks up Pimp and tosses him across the ropes.
Once Pimp comes back Baz goes for another dropkick, but Pimp graps his
feet before they could connect with his face and forces him down to the mat.
Will: Nice counew by Pimp! This match seems to be going faiw now!
Dean steps back onto the
apron, weak and staggering. Pimp then
walks over to him and tags him. Dean
looks at his partner with a look of anger.
Dean gets back in the ring though and works on Baz. He kicks his opponent a few times and picks
him up. He then lifts him up and plants
him with a stalling Japanese power slam.
Dean then walks to his corner and tags Pimp back in. Pimp looks down at him, then gets back into
the ring. Dean takes his place in the
corner. Pimp then quickly turns around
and makes a tag back to Dean. Dean’s
anger grows as his face brightens with redness. Pimp grins and steps back into the corner. Dean then turns around, but is met with kick
to the stomach. Dean crouches forward
as Baz takes him in a front headlock.
In one swift motion Baz hits a snap suplex, making the ring rattle at
the impact. Baz runs over to his corner
to meet Maxx Pain. He tags his partner
in. Maxx Pain steps in and walks toward
Dean. Dean stands up, still weak. He then backs up to feel a tall figure
standing behind him. He then rushes to
his corner, but Pimp jumps down to avoid the tag!
Will: Pimp just bailed on his own pawtnew! What a chicken! Pimp knows Maxx Pain can kick his bootie!
Dean yells at Pimp and
turns around to be taken down with a clothesline, sending him to the depths of
hell. Maxx Pain drags Dean to the
middle of the ring and sets his head between his legs. He takes Dean up, seeming to go for the
Career Ender (Last Ride) but Pimp runs in and clotheslines Maxx Pain in his
exposed stomach. Dean then floats
behind Maxx Pain and hits him in the back with a forearm smash. Maxx Pain arches after the attack to his
spine. Pimp goes back to his corner,
but Dean tags him back in. Pimp looks
over to face Dean. Dean then crawls to
his corner and gives him a “Go on” symbol.
Pimp glares at him for a few seconds but then gets back to work. Maxx Pain is already at his turnbuckle,
making the tag to Baz. Pimp grins as if
to say how easy. Baz charges at Pimp,
but Pimp moves out of the way. Baz ends
up knocking Dean off the apron. Crystal
then starts to mess with something under the ring and pulls out a huge piece of
cardboard. Baz walks over to Pimp as
the two get into a raging fistfight.
Crystal then sets up the cardboard figure up on the ring apron where
Dean once stood. Pimp takes Baz down
with an uppercut. Pimp then turns
around to face his turnbuckle and sees the cardboard figure. He jumps back as he notices it is Smooth,
thinking it is the real thing.
Will: Smooth has wetuwned! Weww, a cawdboawd vewsion of him at weast!
Pimp then sees it is
cardboard and sighs in relief, then walks over to it. He then tears off its head and tosses it across the ring to Baz’s
feet. Baz fills up with anger and runs
at Pimp. He takes him down with tackle,
sending Pimp into the turnbuckle. Baz
then starts a flurry of punches on his enemy.
Punch after punch Baz’s anger grows.
Baz then grabs Pimp’s head and climbs up on the turnbuckle, jumps off
and hits…
Will: Basiwdowg (Bulldog off top rope)!!!
Baz then goes for a pin as
the ref counts.
One…
Two…
Thre…
NO! Dean pulls Baz off of Pimp. Baz looks to be angered even more. Dean knows better than to get in his face so
he stays at ringside until he gets back to work of Pimp. He does so and picks up the now motionless
Pimp. He tosses him over to where Maxx
Pain is standing. Maxx Pain sticks out
his hand as Baz tags it. Maxx Pain and
Baz both lay a few punches on him, then Baz gets back to his corner. Maxx Pain waits for Pimp to regain strength
to get out of the turnbuckle. He does
and Maxx Pain grabs him by the throat, looking for a choke slam, but Dean runs
in and jumps on Maxx’s back with a sleeper hold. Maxx Pain just stands there with an annoyed look on his
face. He lets go of Pimp. He then reaches behind him, trying to attack
him, but to no success. Maxx Pain then
backs up into the turnbuckle and squashes him.
Pimp then gets back to his feer and catches Maxx in his arms and tosses
him over his head with…
Will: Meeting of Minds (Belly-to-belly)!!!
Pimp then walks over to
Baz’s corner and slaps him in the face with Your Momma! Baz falls to the floor at ringside, holding
his face. Pimp then sneaks up from
behind Maxx Pain and applies the Final Choke (TazzMission)! Dean rolls outside of the ring and occupies
Baz for the moment. Pimp takes down
Maxx Pain with the choke. The ref
checks on Maxx and lifts up his arm for the count.
One…
Two…
Three!!!
Will: It’s ovew!
Pimp and Dean win it, again!
Pimp walks away from the
ring and up the ramp as his music plays in victory. Dean walks back to his seat as commentator. Baz is in the ring, checking on Maxx Pain.
Dean: Well, looks like we won the match! Nice try to screw us dipshit!
Will: I pway faiw, no mowe of the cheating!
Dean: I outa kick your ass right here right
now. But, we still won, and we won
FAIRLY! Happy?
Will: Yes I am, thank you.
---Commercial
Break---
Intro:
Tension is at an all-time high in the GZW. The surrounding
presence of the enemy has weighed heavy on the superstars of GZW 2K1.
(Images of Deacon Kane chokeslamming Smooth Operator Billy
Bond flashes, as an image of Len DuBray chained at the wrist to Firefly,
throwing him over the top rope, dislocating Firefly’s shoulder, and the image
of El Gambit coshing Pitfighter fades in and out.)
What chances will the superstars take to bring balance back
to GroundZero Wrestling 2K1? Can they afford not to give it their all?
(The faces of T-Rex, Magic, Jason Makavelli, and the Fierys
flash by quickly. The images of the Peacekeepers—Diamond Sledge, Firefly,
Gideon, and Nathaniel Davis—soon follow.)
“Acceptable
November 30th 2001
Live
from the GZW 2K1 Coliseum
Atlanta, Georgia
---End Of Commercial---
---Backstage---
... The crack of one of the doors in the hallowed halls of the GZW
arena is opened slightly. Inside we can make out Yiroshi's back turned towards
the door. With his hand pulled towards his head it seems as though he is
talking to himself...
Yiroshi:
Sensei, I see no point to this.
...
Pauses...
Yiroshi:
He is the victor I am the fallen, it’s as simple as that. But you are there to
help me back up, I will call the match as I see fit...
...
Pauses...
Yiroshi:
I'm sorry master... You are right... I did not wish to disrespect... I will
contact you after Friday...
...
Yiroshi turns around as we can see that he has a telephone in his hand. He
places it down on the receiver, and starts to exit the room...
---Television
Championship Match---
---“GiantKiller” Jason Makavelli ~c~ vs. Big
Country *Special Referee*:
“Sleepwalker” Yiroshi Takenbu---
Will:
Wewwcome back to Twavesty!!! Up next we wiww see the Tewevision Titwe defended
once again by one of the fightingest champions in GZW Histowy!
Dean:
He only defends it because he has to, and speaking of history, his three-month
title reign will be history, after tonight!!
Will:
But with one of Jason’s wecent wivals, Yiwoshi Takenbu as the speciaw guest
weferee, things could sway way out of hand!!
“Heretic’s
Anthem” by Slipknot, slowly and eerily begins to play over the Travesty P.A
system. The crowd get on their feet in anticipation for one of the hottest “new
era” wrestlers, Yiroshi Takenbu. Yiroshi appears amongst a thick mist at the
top of the ramp. He is wearing full martial arts gear, white with black referee
stripes. The crowd cheer as the “Sleepwalker” heads for the ring. Yiroshi
swiftly enters the ring, awaiting the two combatants.
Will:
This one is gonna be insane!!! The fowmew Extweme Champion Big C, this on-fiwe
new era, Yiwoshi and of couwse, GZW’s Giantkiwwew and the wongest-weigning
champion in GZW Histowy…Jason Makavewwi! It wiww be off the wall!!!
Suddenly,
“Off the Wall” by Redman rips over the P.A and the crowd begins to boo one of
their most hated heels, the former GZW Extreme Champion, Big Country. Big C
appears on the stage, totally ignoring the fans. He slowly and cockily walks to
the ring.
Dean:
Talk about off the wall!! Some call him GZW’s most Extreme Wrestler…I just call
him “sir”!!!
Big
C rolls confidently into the ring, and gets right in Yiroshi’s face. Yiroshi
shows no fear, not moving one inch, but the whole arena erupts as pyros skyrocket,
and the intro to “Rap Superstar” by Cypress Hill signals the entrance of GZW’s
Television Champion…Jason Makavelli!!
Will:
Hewe he is!! Jason Makavewwi, put up against yet anothew big, big chawwenge in
the fowm of Big C and Yiwoshi as speciaw wefewee!
Jason,
followed by Helen runs to the ring, and slides under the bottom rope to an
arousing ovation. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, as the crowd pop, and he
lifts up his TV Title belt for an even bigger pop!!
Dean:
Bah! Stupid fans, what do they know? What a joke! Only fans would choose Jason
Makavelli over Big Country!!
Will:
Dean, this is just fweedom of speech, you have to awwow these fans that at
weast!! It’s the fans that make westwing what it is!!!
As
Jason holds his title eye, Big C sneaks from behind and with one swift move,
powerbombs Jason, back-first from the turnbuckle to the mat, as the music cuts
and the bell sounds!!
Dean:
Holy Crap!! This one looks to be over before it has even begun!!!
Yiroshi
anxiously awaits Country to cover the champion, but Big C takes his time,
getting in a few boots to the prone Makavelli, then using a single foot across
the small, sturdy frame of Jason Makavelli, he makes the non-chalante cover…
One
Dean:
Yes! Yiroshi is about to become a much more popular superstar right here!!!
Two…
Will:
I think this is it, not even the GiantKiwwer can kick out of that!!
Yiroshi’s
hand is about to tap the mat for the three count, when Jason, with one surge of
energy, powers out, as the crowd go wild! Jason flips up to his feet, and takes
a few steps back, to get a full view of his opposer. Big C stares coldly back,
as Jason advances toward Big C. Country, easily shoves down Jason, with one
hand, the grabs the 5’8 184lb Champion by the legs, and begins a…
Dean:
BIG SWING!!! Woohoo!!! Big C is tossing Jason around like he was a small
child!! This is great!!
Jason
tries to escape from the wrath of Big C, and does, with a half sunset flip,
into the cover, as Yiroshi starts the count..
Will:
The tabwes have been tuwned and anothew eawy count is upon us!!
Two…Kickout
by Big C! Jason quickly makes to his feet, and dives at Big C who is now
standing, with a football tackle-like maneuever, barely phasing the former
Extreme Champion. Jason picks Big C. up and delivers chop to the chest of Country knocking
him backwards. He delivers another knocking him back further. Jason lays a chop
to C’s chest and sends him backwards, again.
Jason then tosses him across the ring into the other turnbuckle. Jason charges at the staggering Country and
plants him with a Lou Thez Press!
Will: Wow Jason hits the Lou Thez pwess on Big Countwy. The fans are counting
as Jason pounds away at Country.
Fans: 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10
Jason stands up and motions towards the crowd that its over. Jason stands BC up but BC delivers a punch
to Jason’s gut. Big C. rolls Jason up for the pin as Yiroshi counts.
One…
Two…
No!!!
Jason kicks out at two. BC picks Jason up and lays in a stiff German uppercut.
Dean: Ouch that had to hurt.
Will: That
was a weiwd uppewcut by Countwy.
Country goes for another uppercut but Jason blocks it and hits an uppercut of
his own. Big C. holds his jaw for a
while, but then retaliates with a kick to the mid-section. He then places Jason’s head between his legs
and lifts him up. He then drops him
down with a piledriver. He goes for the
pin quickly…
One…
Two…
Thre…
Yiroshi
stops the count and holds his wrist, obviously faking the “injury”. Big C. stands above Takenbu with anger
written on his face. He then trips
Takenbu, who lands on his face. BC then
steps right on Yiroshi’s hand.
Will: He won’t have to fake it anymowe aftew that
one.
Dean: Big C. showing Yiroshi not to screw him
over.
BC then
kicks Jason a few times. Yiroshi rolls
out of the ring, grabbing hi wrist still.
Big C then lifts Jason to his feet, takes him over his shoulder and hits
CVC (DVD)! He goes for a pin, but
Yiroshi is still outside, holding his wrist while lying on the ground. Country then walks over to the apron and
yells at the special ref. Yiroshi
suddenly pops up and does Dust to Dust (Blows white powder in opponents face)
Dean: ANTHRAX!!!
Some one arrest this man, he just blew anthrax everywhere! Will, cover your mouth and run, run for your
life! Everyone run!!!
Will: It is powdew! It’s not Anthwax! Jeez!
Dean: Yiroshi seems suspicious. I always knew he was guilty for
something! But, if I get anthrax I am
going to kill him before I go!
BC
staggers around, not able to see. Jason
then kicks Big C in the stomach, hooks both arms, and hits Extreme Consequences
(Tiger Driver/Double under hook piledriver)
He goes for the cover but Yiroshi is still outside. Jason walks around confused. Yiroshi then slide from the other side of
the ring, chair in hand. Jason turns
around and Takenbu cracks the chair over his head. Big C stands up also, but Yiroshi takes him out with the chair
also. Yiroshi then picks up Jason again
and hits Murderous
Dreams (Ganso Bomb/Kneeling Piledriver) right on the chair. Yiroshi then starts a countdown…
One…
Two…
Three…
Four…
Dean: Looks like this one is about over.
Five…
Six…
Seven…
Eight…
Will: Up to nine and no movement whatsoevew!
Nine…
Ten!!!
Will: Weww, wooks wike we have a draw!
Dean: Jason retains his title and Yiroshi walks
off with a bad rep as a ref! He
deserves a beating! But then again, he
took out Jason. But the anthrax look-a-like
won’t just be slipped out the door. I
am going to make sure it is tested and proved to be just plain powder!
---Tag-Team
Championships---
---The
StormRiders (Outlaw and Prey) vs. The Fierys (Dameon and Hades)---
[*The Storm Riders music kicks in
around the arena as the duo make there way down the ramp to a loud chorus of
boos. Outlaw and Prey climb into the
ring as the fans continue to rail them.*]
Billy: What a match this should
be.
Jennifer: It’s an honor to be able
to call this match.
Billy: Quit sucking up.
[*”In Too Deep” by Sum 41 begins to
play as Dameon and Hades make their way down the ramp. The crowd gives a mixed reaction to the duo
as they slide into the ring. The ref
holds the titles up and shows them to the crowd and then to the separate
teams.*]
Billy: Here we go.
Dameon and Outlaw lock up but Outlaw
quickly applies a side headlock. Dameon
shoots him into the ropes but Outlaw nails him with a stiff shoulder knocking
him to the mat with a thud. Outlaw
bounces off the ropes and leaps in the air looking for a splash but Dameon gets
the knees up. Outlaw roles onto the mat
clutching his stomach, Dameon crawls to his corner as does Outlaw. The two men tag in there opponents at the
same time. Hades and Prey meet in the
middle of the ring and exchange rights and lefts. Dameon and Outlaw return to their corners as Hades and Prey
continue to duke it out. Prey nails
Hades with a knee lift then drops him down to the mat with a quick ddt. He makes the cover and hooks the leg.
One
Two
Hades rolls the shoulder at the last
moment. Prey mounts him and delivers
several rights to the face. He drags him
across the ring to his corner and tags in Outlaw. He steps in and drives a knee into the face of Hades. He makes the cover and hooks the leg.
One
Two
Billy: Hades kicks out again.
Jennifer: Hades and Dameon haven’t
put up much of a fight so far.
Outlaw lifts Hades up but receives a
back elbow to the midsection. Hades
bounces off the ropes and nails an axe kick to the back of his head driving him
into the ground. Hades crawls across
the ring and tags in Dameon who climbs into the ring and stops Outlaw from
making the tag. Dameon pounds away on
Outlaw as Prey runs into the ring.
Hades jumps up and charges at Prey taking him down with a thunderous
closeline. Outlaw gets up and is
quickly taken down by a dropkick from Dameon.
Hades runs into the ring and leaps over Dameon’s shoulders wiping Prey
out with a cross body block.
Jennifer: Nice move by Hades.
Billy: That was unexpected.
Hades and Prey battle it out and
roll out of the ring still fighting.
Dameon turns around and receives a boot to the face from Outlaw. He makes the cover and hooks the leg and
tights.
One
Two
Hades dives into the ring and breaks the count up. Prey slips in behind him and goes for a closeline but Hades ducks
it causing Prey to take the ref out.
Prey turns around and receives a closeline from hell knocking him to the
ground hard. Hades stomps away on him
but is quickly taken out by a bulldog from Outlaw.
Billy: This match has gotten insane.
Jennifer: I know. We need a ref.
Billy: No we don’t. This is great! No rules, just right.
Jennifer: Billy this isn’t an
Outback Steakhouse commercial.
Billy: Hey a steak does sound good
right about now.
Outlaw climbs out of the ring and
grabs a steel chair and slides into the ring.
Dameon gets up and gets taken back down to the ground with a massive
chair shot.
Jennifer: Did you see that?
Billy: Yea wasn’t it great?
Jennifer: Oh lord.
The ref comes to slowly to see
Outlaw making the cover on an unconscious Dameon. He crawls over and begins to slow count.
One
Jennifer: Not like this!
Two
Hades goes to break the count up but
Prey grabs him from behind dropping him to the ground.
Three!
[*Outlaw and Prey roll out of the
ring as the ref slides out and hands them the tag titles. Hades checks on Dameon as Outlaw and Prey
point at the titles then at Dameon and Hades.*]
Jennifer: What a jip. That wasn’t right.
Billy: Well cry me a river. That match was awesome. I don’t think Outlaw and Prey will be losing
those titles anytime soon.
Jennifer: I hope they loose them
soon.
Billy: Oh shut up.
Jennifer: Bite me!
Billy: Hmmmm
Jennifer: Dean, Will this one is
yours. I’m outta here.
Billy: Oh come on.
~~~~ MAIN
EVENT: Fatal Four way for the Extreme Title ~~~~
~~~~ Adam
Cage (champion) V T-Rex V Magic V Pitfighter ~~~~
Siu Ann:
“Welcome back to…”
Jackie:
“Friday Night Travesty, she’s Siu
Ann Wong, I’m Jackie Lee, Conichuwa, and welcome to the main even with the main
even commentators!”
Siu Ann:
“I would like to apologize for
Jackie Lee’s disgraceful attitude!”
Jackie:
“I would like to apologize for Siu
Ann’s ugly face. Hey Siu Ann, I here that Giggles fancies you!”
Siu Ann:
“Shut up Jackie! Up next is the main
event: a hardcore fatal four way for the Extreme championship! Adam Cage taking
on T-Rex, Magic, and Pitfighter!”
Right on cue, “I see Death Around
The Corner” by Tupac hits the PA, and Pitfighter comes out onto the zerotron
with his trademark stop sign in his hands.
Jackie:
“You keep a hold of that stop sign
Pitfighter, because you’ll never be holding a belt in those worthless hands!”
Pit makes his way to the ring, and
leans the stop sign against a set of turnbuckles. Whilst he starts to warm up,
“Bittersweet” by Fuel hits the PA and the crowd cheer as Magic comes onto the
zerotron. He heads to the ring and glares at Pitfighter. Pitfighter glares
back.
Siu Ann:
“No love loss between Magic and
Pitfighter!”
Jackie:
“That’s ‘cos Magic is a vet and
Pitfighter is a young pretender to his throne.”
Siu Ann:
“I think Magic feels threatened by
these up and coming stars!”
Jackie:
“Yeah, right, like a Doberman is
threatened by a Jack Russell!”
“I AM NUMBER ONE!”
The crowd erupt as T-Rex strides
onto the zerotron.
Siu Ann:
“What a reaction for T-Rex!”
Jackie:
“He’s nothing compared to Deacon
Kane!”
Siu Ann:
“But he IS the biggest man in this
match by a hell of a long way!”
Rex heads to the ring, hitting low
fives as he goes.
Siu Ann:
“I think that Magic and Rex were
wise to keep Shannon and Steph away from this one!”
“Last Resort” by Papa Roach hits the
PA, and the crowd boos loudly for Adam Cage whose victimisation of Pitfighter
has not gone unnoticed! He walks onto the zerotron with a shopping trolley full
of hardcore implements!
Jackie:
“That must have been quite a
shopping trip!”
Siu Ann:
“There’s a kendo stick, a baseball
bat, a dustbin, baking trays, a computer keyboard, a child’s plastic lawnmower,
and the kitchen sink!”
Jackie:
“I’m starting to think that Adam
‘should be put in a’ Cage should be let out of it more often!”
Cage pushes the trolley to the ring
and decides on a baking tray for a weapon. He slides into the ring, but Magic
is too quick for him and stomps him as he slides in. Meanwhile, Rex isn’t
waiting either, and he immediately clotheslines Pitfighter over the top rope!
Siu Ann:
“This match is already looking
extreme!”
Magic picks up the baking tray, and
smashes it hard across Cage’s face. Rex meanwhile leaps through the ropes with
a suicide dive that takes out Pitfighter!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious! T-Rex is seven
feet tall and 300 pounds… and he just pulled off a suicide dive like a
light-heavyweight!”
Jackie:
“These two new generation punks are
learning the hard way!”
Two baking tray whacks later, Cage
is on the floor. Magic drops the tray, slides out the ring, and heads to the
shopping trolley. Meanwhile, Rex goes for a vertical suplex outside the ring on
Pit.
Siu Ann:
“Magic looking dangerous by that
shopping trolley!”
Pitfighter floats over Rex’s suplex
and hits a low blow from behind. He takes a step back, and runs at the doubled
over Rex, hitting a bulldog outside the ring!
Siu Ann:
“Owy, owy, ow! T-Rex learnt the new
generation aren’t pushovers right there!”
Meanwhile, Magic is throwing the
contents of the shopping trolley into the ring. However, upon seeing Rex dropped
to the floor, he changes tactic… and runs down Pitfighter with the trolley!
Jackie:
“Pitfighter was like a rabbit in
Magic’s headlights there!”
Siu Ann:
“Vicious move by Magic… but I guess
viciousness is what the Extreme title is about, right?”
Jackie:
“You got that right Siu Ann!”
Magic is celebrating, but Cage is
up. He ascends the turnbuckle and calls out Magic’s name. Magic turns around
instinctively, and is met by a cross body from the inside to the outside!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious! What a move!
What impact! It’s gotta be over!”
Cage lands it and goes straight into
a pin!
1…
Siu Ann:
“Here we go!”
2…
Rex breaks up the pin with a double
axe handle to the back of the head of Cage… then pins Magic himself!
Jackie:
“Smart move by T-Rex!”
1…
Siu Ann:
“He could steal it right here!”
2…
Pitfighter breaks the count with a
running elbow drop!
Jackie:
“What’d Pitfighter have go and do
that for!”
Pitfighter grabs Magic and rolls him
back into the ring. He himself gets in the ring with a springboard legdrop onto
Magic!
Siu Ann:
“Nice move by Pitfighter!”
Meanwhile, Cage Irish whips T-Rex,
but it is reversed and it is Cage that goes into the steel steps! Rex grabs him
and drops him onto the guardrail.
Jackie:
“Rex showing the new generation how
it’s done.”
Pitfighter meanwhile has a computer
keyboard in his hands, and when Magic gets up, he gets blasted in the face with
it! The computer keys go flying everywhere upon impact! Discarding the
keyboard, he goes for the stop sign!
Siu Ann:
“Pitfighter’s got the stop sign! His
signature weapon! Could be trouble for Magic.”
Rex has Cage up, and taking a baking
tray from the trolley… sends him straight back down! Meanwhile, Pitfighter
beats on the floored Magic with the stop sign. Rex picks up the trolley,
empties it, and then beats upon the floored Cage with it!
Siu Ann:
“This is horrible! Magic being
destroyed by Pitfighter and a stop sign, and Adam Cage being destroyed by T-Rex
and a shopping trolley!”
Pitfighter sets up Magic in a tree
of woe position on the turnbuckle and runs to the other side of the ring with
the stop sign in his hand!
Siu Ann:
“Surely Pitfighter isn’t going to
hit the Deathpitt on Magic?”
Rex hoists up Cage, and slams him to
the mats outside the ring with a reverse powerbomb!
Jackie:
“That was Extinction! T-Rex’s
finisher! Outside the ring!”
As Pitfighter readies himself to run
at Magic, Rex goes for the pin!
1…
Siu Ann:
“It’s over!”
2…
Pitfighter sees this, and changes
his mind! Dropping the stop sign, he runs at the ropes and flies over the top
rope with a senton flip landing right on T-Rex and breaking up the count!
Jackie:
“You can bet that that was would
have been over if Pitfighter hadn’t broken that up!”
Siu Ann:
“Definitely! Extinction outside the
ring… goodness gracious!”
Magic manages to pull himself out of
the tree of woe position, and sees Pitfighter getting up outside the ring. He
grabs the kendo stick and ascends the turnbuckle. Pitfighter meanwhile is
pulling up Rex, but as he gets Rex to his feet, Magic flies off the top rope
and hits him across the back of the head with the kendo stick!
Siu Ann:
“What viciousness from Magic!”
Rex and Magic are looking straight
at one another, with Pitfighter and Adam Cage lying at their feet. They nod,
and Magic pulls up Cage while Rex pulls up Pitfighter.
Jackie:
“What the hell was that about?!?”
Siu Ann:
“Looks like Magic and T-Rex have
decided not to take each other on! Could that have planned to work together all
along?”
Magic Irish whips Cage to one side
of the arena; Rex Irish whips Pitfighter to the other side. Cage and Pit crash
into the steel guardrail almost simultaneously. Magic and Rex head to their
respective foes.
Siu Ann:
“So they’re going to take out Cage
and Pitfighter… they’ll have to face each other eventually!”
However, when Rex gets to Pitfighter
he gets a boot to the gut and his head bounced off the steel guardrail! When
Magic gets to Cage, he gets a boot to the gut and a swinging neckbreaker!
Siu Ann:
“Cage and Pitfighter might hate each
other, but they’re doing the new generation proud!”
Cage pulls up Magic and Pit pulls up
Rex… both drop their opponents with DDTs simultaneously!
Jackie:
“What is this, synchronised
wrestling? Considering what those two wear to the ring, they might consider
swimming costumes and swimming caps! They’d look better than they do at the
moment!”
Pit and Cage ascend opposite
corners.
Siu Ann:
“What are they both doing?”
Pitfighter hits a corkscrew
Moonsault into a legdrop from the top turnbuckle to the outside onto Rex, only
moments before Cage hits a 450 splash from the top turnbuckle to the outside
onto Magic!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness, goodness gracious! A
Pitfighter Deathdrop from Pitfighter followed by a Jeopardy from Adam Cage
outside the ring!”
Both men go for the pin, but having
pinned momentarily before Cage, it is Pitfighter’s pin that the ref starts to
count!
1…
Cage notices, and leaps to his feet…
2…
The pin is broken by a boot to the
back of Pitfighter by Cage.
Siu Ann:
“Either of those moves would have
finished off anyone. It was just that Pitfighter got his pin in first. So the
ref counted that, and Cage had to stop it!”
Pitfighter gets up… and is staring
right into the face of Adam Cage! They glare at each other momentarily, and
then start duking it out! They throw punch after punch and neither is giving an
inch.
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious! Such
viciousness!”
Rex and Magic get up slowly, and
both see what’s happening. Magic whispers something to Rex who nods. Rex hoists
Magic onto his shoulders…
Jackie:
“What are those two up to?”
An evil glint suddenly appears in
Magic’s eye, and instead of the pre-planned double team manoeuvre, Magic
adjusts his momentum and pulls Rex into a victory roll!
Jackie:
“Beautiful by Magic! He’s double crossed
Rex to steal the title while those two loser are preoccupied pummelling each
other!”
1…
Siu Ann:
“Magic could steal it!”
2…
Kickout at the very last millisecond
by Rex!
Siu Ann:
“That was close!”
Cage and Adam have got to the Pig
Latin announce table, and it is Cage who has the advantage. He bounces Pit’s
head off the table and then pulls Pitfighter onto the table with him.
Meanwhile, Rex is furious with Magic and pushes him in the chest. Magic pushes
him back… Rex clobbers Magic with a forearm that sends him flying to the mat.
Siu Ann:
“Magic and Rex coming to blows and
Cage with a helpless Pitfighter on the announce table! Goodness gracious!”
Rex sees the two on the announce
table, and sees Cage hooking up Pitfighter for a Last Resort Brainbuster
through the table. In a moment of inspiration, he runs up to the table, boots
Cage in the groin and then drops BOTH men through the table with a double DDT!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness, goodness gracious! A
double DDT! A double DDT through the Pig-Latin table! T-Rex with a double DDT
to Cage and Pitfighter through the announce table!”
Jackie:
“Less of the repetition Siu Ann…
although that was pretty damned impressive!”
Magic meanwhile is back in the ring,
setting up a table he found under the ring. The ring is littered with hardcore
implements. As Rex gets up, Magic beckons him into the ring; Rex looks up at
Magic and shakes his head.
Siu Ann:
“Rex won’t fight Magic!”
Jackie:
“He’s gonna have to ‘cos after that
double DDT, Cage and Pitfighter won’t be getting up for a week!”
Magic has the kendo stick… so T-Rex
grabs a steel chair from ringside!
Siu Ann:
“This could get nasty!”
Magic stands in the turnbuckles, and
lets Rex get in the ring. Rex charges at Magic and swings the chair, Magic
ducks and whacks him in the stomach with the kendo stick!
Siu Ann:
“So much for Magic and Rex not
fighting one another!”
Magic raises the kendo stick high in
the air and brutally cracks the doubled over Rex across the back of the head
with it! Rex crashes to the floor!
Jackie:
“To coin your phrase Siu Ann, ‘owy,
owy, ow’!”
Siu Ann:
“With a blow like that, Magic could
have the match over and done!”
But Magic is going to make sure!
With supreme effort, he pulls up the big man and sends him crashing down to the
mat next first with…
Siu Ann:
“A Final Destination! (Razor’s Edge)
Magic just hit the Razor’s Edge on T-Rex!”
Magic covers T-Rex.
Jackie:
“We just got ourselves a new Extreme
champion!”
1…
Siu Ann:
“Magic’s gonna take the belt! Cage
and Pitfighter are still down from T-Rex’s double DDT through the announce
table!”
2…
Suddenly, Deacon Kane and Monarch
are in the ring having come through the crowd and jumped the guardrail!
Simultaneously they boot Magic in the back of the head, breaking the count.
Siu Ann:
“Deacon Kane and Monarch just
screwed Magic out of the Extreme title!”
Jackie:
“But it’s perfectly legal in a no
disqualification match!”
Monarch pulls up Magic and
immediately sprays him with green mist! Meanwhile, Deacon pulls up Rex and hits
him with a Wicked Way!
Siu Ann:
“Monarch and Deacon aren’t
finished!”
Monarch tosses Magic over the top
rope to the outside, and slides out follow him. Meanwhile, Deacon brutalizes
Rex with right hands and drags him to the turnbuckles, then ascends them.
Siu Ann:
“This does not look good!”
Monarch grabs Magic and pulls him up
onto the apron with him, at the same time as Deacon pulls Rex up the
turnbuckles.
Jackie:
“This looks like it’s going to be
great!”
Monarch sets up Magic in a hangman’s
DDT position; Deacon sets up Rex in a top rope powerbomb position!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness, goodness gracious! No!
Don’t do it!”
Monarch jumps off the apron hitting
a hangman’s DDT on Magic to the matted floor below! Deacon pulls up Rex and
powerbombs him to the outside, through Siu Ann and Jackie’s announce table! Siu
Ann leaps at Jackie, knocking him out of harms way!
As Siu Ann and Jackie scrabble for
their sound equipment, Monarch and Deacon celebrate their actions to the boos
of the crowd. Rex and Magic aren’t moving… at all. Siu Ann finally gets her
mike back, and she’s crying.
Siu Ann (through tears):
“I can’t believe what I saw! Deacon
and Monarch are inhuman! How could they do that? They are deliberately trying
to injure people! They should be banned!”
Cage and Pitfighter are moving… Cage
crawls towards Magic’s unmoving body; Pitfighter crawls towards Rex’s unmoving
body. Deacon and Monarch, looking pleased with themselves, head back up the
entranceway. The ref is following Pitfighter and Cage’s progress closely.
Meanwhile, Jackie has his headset back.
Jackie:
“Now THAT is what I call extreme!”
Siu Ann:
“You’re a sick bastard Jackie! Magic
and Rex could be crippled!”
Cage is at Magic, and Pit is at Rex.
At exactly the same time they both get an arm over their respective fallen
opponents. The ref looks befuddled, but goes down for the count. However, he’s
hitting both arms down at the same time!
1…
Jackie:
“What the hell is going on? What’s
with the two-armed count? Who’s he counting? Cage on Magic, or Pitfighter on
T-Rex?”
2…
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious! I think he’s
counting both! They both did get their pin in at exactly the same time!”
3!
DING DING DING!
Jackie:
“Who won?!?!?!”
Siu Ann:
“I think both Cage AND Pitfighter
won!”
The ref is having a word with the
announcer.
Jackie:
“This is terrible! What is GZW going
to do about this?”
Announcer:
“Here is your winner and STILL GZW
Extreme champion, Adam Cage… AND here is your winner and NEW GZW Extreme
champion, Pitfighter!”
The crowd, and the announcers are
stunned!
Jackie:
“What!”
Siu Ann:
“The ref has announced BOTH Adam
Cage and Pitfighter as the winner! We have two holders of the same belt! Adam
Cage AND Pitfighter are the Extreme champion! Goodness gracious! I can’t even
begin to understand the repercussions of this!”
Pitfighter and Cage are finally
getting to their feet, and are both looking confused. The ref only has one
belt, and two champions to give it to… both men glare at him and obviously want
it! Suddenly, Cage snatches it from the ref, and proceeds to clobber Pitfighter
across the face with it, flooring him!
Siu Ann:
“Goodness gracious! Adam Cage with a
brutal attack on his fellow Extreme champion Pitfighter! Looks like he’s going
to keep the gold… but he only owns half of it!”
Cage heads to the back quickly, as
Pitfighter lies motionless. Rex and Magic haven’t moved either.
Siu Ann:
“What is GZW going to do with two
Extreme champions? What stipulations will have to be imposed? What will this
mean for Cage and Pitfighter? We need to know! But that’s all we have time for
on Friday night Travesty! I’m Siu Ann Wong, and…”
Jackie:
“I’m Jackie Lee… Sayonara!”
Siu Ann:
“PLEASE get a new catchphrase!”
The scene starts to fade with the
staggering Adam Cage, clutching the Extreme title belt, heading through the
entranceway to the back. The camera cuts to the carnage of Rex, Magic and
Pitfighter outside the ring and the fade goes to black…
Will: That’s aww we have fow you fowks tonight. We wiww be back next week to once again,
entewtain you aww.
Dean: And yes, Will will be here too!