Teylin walked in silence the entire way from the Temple entrance to his chambers. Silence had become his life since he left the pirates’ ship. Silence around him as no one dared to speak to him. Silence as he was left alone on the ship, alone in the carriage back to the palace, always alone to protect his sanctity. Silence as he forgot what it was like to smile and what it meant to be happy. He didn’t think he could bring himself to speak again.
His world was ruined.
The palace halls were deserted as Teylin passed through. The lower priests and servants had all vacated the path in a sign of deference. He knew they were there, lurking out of sight behind doors or around corners, waiting for him to pass so they could go on with their daily lives. Teylin’s mood only continued to get worse as he walked, and he started to think about how his life meant so much and so little to everyone around him. He was easily the most important person in the seven kingdoms and yet he wondered how many people knew his real name.
Why is a man loved by an entire league of nations loved by no one at all?
Teylin halted at the end of the hallway. Before him rose the doors to his chambers, almost twice his height and lavishly decorated in ornate sunbursts inlaid with gold. They loomed like the foreboding maws of a vicious beast, preparing to devour him, and he felt a wave of irrational fear.
Sighing, Teylin pushed one of the doors open and entered.
His rooms were exactly as he left them. Pale oak furniture littered the sitting room, a large desk against the wall to his right, several couches in the center, and bookshelves and tables of expensive, finely crafted ornaments along the walls. Visible in the room beyond was a large canopy bed draped in white, a humongous picture widow taking up the wall opposite him. There was also a large, tiled bath and a walk-in wardrobe attached to the bedroom. Almost everything was white, with the exception of a few pieces of decoration here and there. White like the purity of the High Priest of Raased... only Teylin didn’t think he counted as pure anymore.
A loud slam made Teylin turn and he was greeted by the livid face of Councilor Lane. With a strength seeming uncanny for the man’s frail appearance and small stature, Teylin was suddenly lifted by the collar of his robes to be placed face to face with the Councilor.
"Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”
Teylin stared wide eyed as the Councilor shook him once by the neck. “You insolent little fool! What in that useless brain of your could have possibly possessed you to pardon pirates! Pirate who kidnapped you!”
Suddenly Teylin was shoved backwards and he landed on the floor with a painful thump. He watched the Councilor warily and the thin man paced angrily in front of him, practically spitting in rage.
“You,” Councilor Lane whirled to face Teylin, his eyes blazing. “Will not be seeing the Council of Elders this year. In fact you will not be leaving the palace grounds for a very long time.”
The idea of never being outside again filled Teylin with instant panic. “But...”
An angry roar cut him off. “Silence!” Their eyes met and Teylin instantly shrank back in fear. The Councilor’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Don’t think for one second that you have even an ounce of power here. I ruled this kingdom before you were born and I will continue to do so for a long time. Up until now you’ve been useful as a figurehead but if you so much as open your mouth in public anymore you will find that being the High Priest of Raased does not make you invulnerable. It was a pity that your predecessor thought to shortly before he died.”
Teylin paled visibly. He couldn’t be suggesting assassination. The public would be outraged if they found out.
“Have I made myself quite clear?”
Quickly Teylin nodded. With a parting glare and a swirl of his robes the Chancellor marched out of the rooms, slamming the doors behind him.
Teylin stared at the closed doors for a very long time.
“Bloody. Fucking. Priest!”
The shattering of glass signaled that the Captain was in another foul mood. Jesson stared at the door to Ravi’s cabin for a long time. Several more curses blistered the air, clearly audible from on deck. Most seemed to involve priests, as had most of the Captain’s violent outbursts in recent days. Ever since Teylin left. With a sigh, Jesson put down his mop and entered the cabin without knocking.
Ravi’s room was in shambles, with furniture overturned and objects strewn madly about the room. Jesson figured it was probably a good idea he stepped in before the Captain ran out of things to break.
“Begging your pardon Captain.” He cleared his throat.
Ravi whirled, fury blazing in his eyes like a mad wildfire. “What the fuck do you want?”
“Nothing much really, just figured I might suggest you go visit him.”
That caused the Captain to pause for a brief moment. “Visit who?”
“The priest. Teylin.”
And it started again. “I want nothing to do with that bloody, lying, incompetent priest! He’s ruined us.”
Jesson tried very hard not to smile. “Yes, well about that. See I figured you could go ask him to take off the bloody mark.” Said mark was the source of the Captain’s most recent fury. It blazed like the sun, night and day, so that anyone within eye’s distance could tell there was a ship approaching. By now, word had spread throughout the seas of a pirate ship bearing the mark of Raased and so they had a military escort almost everywhere they went. Even now, an Abrynean naval ship was sitting barely a stones throw off their port bough.
“Of course, why didn’t I think of that,” Ravi sneered. “I’ll just walk right into the Temple of the Golden Light and ask to speak with the most sacred priest in all of creation. I’m sure they let me right through.”
Jesson shrugged. “Maybe Teylin left them orders to let you see him.”
“Get out.” Dark storm clouds gathered behind Ravi’s eyes and Jesson wisely fled. The door was slammed shut behind him and soundly locked.
Teylin stared at the sun gleaming in through the picture window, spreading light without warmth over his pale frame. He lay in the center of his bed, only partially covered by a sheet. The sun had woken him not long ago. He couldn’t remember how long he’d slept. Long enough for a new tray of food to be set out on the desk in the other room. Its contents varied three times a day, changed by servants Teylin never saw. He hadn’t seen anyone, not even Chancellor Lane, for a long stretch of days. He’d lost count after the second week when he’d started sleeping longer and woke up at random intervals during the day. Three days ago he’d stopped eating. Yesterday he hadn’t left his bed once. He wondered how long it would take him to die.
The servants must hate him for wasting their food. He wasted their money, laying in riches they could never afford and he didn’t appreciate. Chancellor Lane hated him because he undermined his authority. The military must hate him for pardoning a ship full of pirates. The people of the seven kingdoms must hate him for letting the pirates go free. Ravi hated him and that hurt most of all. There was no way Ravi didn’t hate him after lying to him and leaving.
He didn’t think he could live anymore. That thought caused an immense amount of guilt to well up. He’d die one way or the other, if he killed himself or if he stayed alone in his rooms for the rest of his life. The thought of the later was unbearable and Teylin sat up suddenly. He was a bad person. A horrible person who had forsaken his god and fallen in love with a pirate. His crime was unforgivable because he didn’t feel guilt over the love, only unbearable loneliness. He had betrayed his god. This was his punishment.
Teylin stood and moved to the desk where he kept all his writing supplies. A letter opener sat on top of the desk, sharpened, the closest he could come to a knife. Kneeling on the floor, white robes forming a pool around him, he placed the tip of the letter opener above his heart. Closing his eyes, Teylin let his emotions freeze into cold ice and he felt no fear as he gathered his strength to plunge the letter opener into his chest.
Pain welcomed him, blossoming out of his chest and for the first time since he’d returned to the Temple he felt warmth. Shoving deeper, he let the warmth flow out of him and over his chest. He could feel the sunlight surrounding him as he let out a single tiny utterance of pain, the only sound he would allow himself to make as he slumped forward.
Opening his eyes for the last time, Teylin stared at the sunlight shining off the carpet around him. A pool of red crept over the white carpet, the flow of blood marking the passage of time towards the end of his life. With his remaining strength, he whispered an apology to the gods above and prayed that they would forgive him.
The sun went cold and then he couldn’t see it anymore.
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