This is a site for stillgrieving Grandparents to share their feelings and talk freely about their grandchildren. Just as parents need to talk about their children and the need to make sure they are not forgotten, grandparents also have a need to share their feelings of helplessness in watching the pain their children are going through and not being able to "fix it". The loss of their hopes and dreams and plans for their grandchildren. Grandparents are not only dealing with their loss, but also with their children's loss.
The old "myths" are still out there. Such as: They're young - they can have more children, they should be over it by now,they need to get on with their lives, don't say anything - they might cry, avoid them because you don't know what to say. In reality, times are hopefully are changing. Yes, they are young and can possibly have more children, but no child can take the place of the child they have lost. They will never get over it. Life does go on, but never the same. Do say something to let them know you acknowledge their loss and do remember their child. Refer to the child by name. They need to know their child is remembered. Don't worry that they may cry - cry with them, or hold them, or just give them a gentle pat on the back.
We, as grandparents, not only need to be a shoulder to lean on, or cry on, but also - go to them, and remember their birth dates and death dates. Also, talk about them, they will always be a part of the family. Our children need this, and they need to know we remember.
