MIDI Music: "Here Comes the Sun"
we posted this message (without a picture) on Mosaic Minds:
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Name/age change for insider
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Posted by MD on July 27, 2000 at 18:42:02:
hi,
i guess there's a lot going on in our group lately. first the stuff on the u.s. board, and
now this. i guess i've been thinking about stuff. i can't really say, cuz i've been inside
for a while, mostly helping take care of the kids.
so why the change? i'll try to explain it in a way that doesn't make this post have to go on
another board. see, for as long as i've been around, my "job" has been having to do with
stuff people talk about on senior center. i decided i was 18 so i could talk about that
stuff at another site. it's not that i wasn't telling the truth about my age. i really did
think i was 18. but a lot of times i didn't *feel* 18. i guess i was trying really hard to be
the kind of person i *thought* an 18-year-old whose "job" was senior center stuff should be.
if that makes any sense.
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meanwhile i had problems with my inside sister, Christine, who's 8[½]. in some ways she and i are bigger and smaller
versions of each other. she was mad at me for a long time about stuff i won't get into here,
and i felt bad about that. but eventually we made up with each other. i guess that Christine
and i were both starting to see me as somebody more than the one who belongs on senior
center.
so i stopped hiding in my safe inside room and helped some of the teens (who call themselves
"the babysitters") take care of the kids. the kids like me and i like helping [...] them. and
i feel a lot better about myself.
but there's still this thing about my name and my age. that's from the me i used to believe i
was. i used to be Kissandra Vivian, who was 18. now i'm Cass Diana, who's 17. it's kind of
funny that growing up could mean getting a little younger. :-)
but now i feel good about being me, and i feel real.
peace,
Cass,
happy to be 17....
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