Slaves are to be pleasing, they are to obey with out question, they are not to judge, they are to show respect all the time, and they must trust. Slaves here on Earth often face a quandary, seeing the requirements of a slave as above and dealing with the mixed emotions of remaining safe in a unsafe world. I will try to offer some suggestions, blow away some myths and basically bring some reality back to what can be the most marvelous role any woman can be in, slavery. If we all lived in the pages of a book, the above requirements for slaves could be applied unfailingly. We don't live there, and most likely never will. So how much of the aforementioned rules apply to us? Any reasoning person can tell that if you apply the rules unquestioningly you might as well put a target on your forehead and plan your will.

Everything we do in life requires balance. Tipping the scales one way or the other, leads to an imbalance of thinking. Are we failures if we don't choose a extreme? We come online, admittedly a place of anonymity for everyone, we meet a man, and burn to be with him. Surprise, surprise, we fall in love, our trust is built through this limited medium. We believe what we see, but we have to remember what exactly we are believing. Far to many to many hoaxes have emerged from the shattered shell of on line trust. Some very skilled men and women have duped the online gorean community. Some are currently doing so. With this in mind, caution is the better part of any valor. What follows is the product of hard won experience from various members of the online community, myself included.

Unreal histories. For example a huge list of so called experience, that when questioned about has holes the size of the earth in it. If it doesn't feel right, more than likely it's not. Sudden life threatening illness and/or and asking for monetary assistance, ect. More often then not these types of illnesses are bogus. The very fact that someone, with whom your only contact is cyber, is asking for money should send up red flags. Use your own judgment on this. If you have it to spare and honestly feel inclined to send it, it is your choice. Never put yourself at risk and feel compelled because you are a slave to do it. They have friends, family and social systems to help.

Loss of control in men. This is a very touchy subject but it can be deadly, if you are planning an off line relationship. Watch them in channel. How do they deal with situations? Do they blow up for no reason? Do they seem edgy, and do you feel like your walking on egg shells with them all the time? Does their online punishment seem blown out of proportion? Are they always on the virge of or in a bad mood? Do they blame others consistently for their moods? Is he a Jeckle and Hyde type person? All these things are signs of a mentally unstable personality. These can indicate they have the potential to be physically abusive in real life. Beware

Mental abuse. This is often over looked in the online circle, but it does exist. The signs of this are consistent efforts in putting you down, making you feel stupid, inferior, less then human, and other wise wrong. This is not to be confused with normal training of a slave, or the concept slaves are animals. How do I mean? It is very simple, if your down more then your up, you have a problem with the man. If your best efforts are always less than pleasing you have a problem. If your ill and he blames you for it, you have a problem. If he never offers encouragement by any means, you have a problem. If he consistently treats you like animal by denying your human mental attributes and seeking to crush your inherent personality, you have a problem. Being a slave is supposed to feel good, yes there will be times when you will feel bad, but the good should out weigh the bad.

The non listening ear. Being a slave does not mean your life ceases to be important to you. You will have problems to deal with, you will be under stress, you will have pain and you will at times need support. The concept that a man does not offer support to a slave is wrong. The reality is as a slave you will look to him for guidance. The guidance is not the common "just be pleasing girl" and problems will go away. If he shows no concern what so ever for what happens in your life, you have a problem. If he never wants to discuss things that concern you, you have a big problem. Even if you happen to live with this man, you will have to face things, you will need a measure of support and a listening ear. A man too self centered is not worth the air he breathes. Just like anything in this world, if you offer no maintenance, support, or care, it will become unusable in the end. For a relationship that expects a woman to surrender the whole of herself to her man, it is required then that the man care for the whole of the woman. Should he be unwilling to do that, then he should not own a woman to begin with.

This is by no means a complete list, but it covers many more areas than one at first may think of. If you are considering taking this on line relationship off line, it would be prudent to look very closely at the relationship on line. Never fall for the you have to obey line. Your obedience must be tempered with reality. You have your own set of priorities, demands, and responsibilities. Remember that. More so those of you with children to take care of. You are not a failure if you readily see something is wrong and leave. Your failure comes when you obey with a blind eye, risking yourself needlessly.

Get to know this man well on line, get a feeling of trust before you attempt off line. Listen and watch, and then go back and listen and watch some more. Ask questions that are important, don't ask it once, ask it many times in a different way and listen for consistent answers. A answer is not, CINBIAK (curiosity is not becoming in a kajira). Not when you are talking about, what is your real name, your phone number, are you married or otherwise involved, if so, does this person know, where are we going to meet, what are we going to do, what are your plans ect... If you don't get answers, don't think of meeting, he is not being truthful. He should have nothing to hide.

"Plan, plan, plan," then when you thought you have it all planed, start over again. Things you should have set up. - His full name, address and phone number. - The phone number and address of where you will be staying. - Several people, one at the very minimum that you will contact during the visit during the visit. These people should be trusted by you. It does not matter if they will not be in the same state or country as where you will be going. They should have all of the above information, also including how long you will be gone, hopefully the telephone number of the local police department should things go wrong, and any other information that will help them find you, like your travel arrangements, lodgings, ect. Should anything go wrong they can be your only life line.

Make arrangements that are cut in stone with your trusted friends above. Have a set time to call, every day if possible. Twice, three times what ever it takes. If they do not get a call from you at this set time, it is a marker for them to start worrying, and to do something at their best judgment, according to the arrangements you have made before hand. In addition, there maybe times that situations go bad, and your are too afraid to say anything. So before you go, have a code phrase set up with your friend, make it simple and very common. If this code phrase is said, it means, call the police I am in trouble. If your plans change, contact your friend as soon as possible, making them aware of the situation.

Meet the first time in public, and stay in public until you feel comfortable. Go out to dinner, for walks in the park, what ever, just stay public. You can judge a lot in this first few hours, if you listen and watch carefully. No doubt he is doing the same. If your not comfortable, do not go into a private situation until you are, don't be afraid to get back into your transportation and leave if you must.

Get some sort of medical history from him and give yours to him. STD's are rampant out there, so be wary. Use protection, ie condoms all the time, every time. Don't let him talk his way out of it. It's your life, and his at risk. I have heard some request a Doctor's letter of health and proof of recent STD tests with results. Not a bad option if you ask me. But not a replacement for using a condom. Have a back up supply of ready cash, you might need it.

Tell him of these plans, don't go into detail about the friend code phrase, just in case. If he has objections to any of this, or does not insist that you use these precautions, run, don't walk from him. He has something to hide. It is not worth the risk. With out a doubt he should have similar arrangements made, if he is visiting you.

If he is coming to you, take similar precautions, don't take him back to your home, until you feel ready too. It might take hours or days. But well worth the wait.

Trust is earned, it is not freely given. Trust takes a lot of time to build up. What you trust online, will be added to off line. Let it grow, don't worry about it. He should understand this. Never allow him to take complete control until you have that time and trust. That would mean handing over all your possessions, your money, your ID, your credit cards, what ever. Check him out as he should you. Online you are able to check a name and address out by phone number, if you get a different result then what he gave, question it or better yet, run!

As a last bit of wisdom. Slaves, you don't have to send pics, give addresses or phone number, or full names and locations, to people you don't want to. A lot of information about you can be gleaned from this kind of information. If you decide to phone, please use ident block on your phone. In Canada, where most have caller ID, you will give out more than you might want to.

In Canada to turn off caller ID use *70 then the number. The other person will only see, private name and number, no other information. In the U.S. you can block caller ID and privatize your call by pressing *67 before dialing the number. For other countries, look in the front of your phone book for information.

Slaves, you are no less a slave for trying to protect yourself, you only a wise woman. God gave you a brain, use it to the best of your ability, let it be the bridle with which you steer your heart.

Thankfully there are more good stories around of people who have met and are happy then the bad ones, but we can never let our guard down. All of the above information applies to men as well as women. Care and caution should always be your focus when dealing with people you really don't know.

Hope this advice is of some use to you all.