We come together in common forums, anonymous people with online personas uniting to share an enjoyment of a different culture. There are Masters and Mistresses, Panthers and Posers, and all the little kajirae. Through a mutual respect for some commonly accepted guidelines, we exist as a community, preferring the company of Free Goreans and slaves, and we are safe. Our world, not real, but a fantastic extension of our wickedest desires, a communal retreat from a society that does not condone such barbaric behavior, is well protected by the anonymity provided by the internet. And then someone wants to make it real.

It starts as something simple, like a phone call. It is all too easy for us to lose focus on the need to differentiate our online personas from our real, true selves. It is so common to be caught up in the passion of a moment, to want to take the intensity to the next level, to simply want more from the experience. A harmless phone call won't really mean anything, right? We're all real people with real needs, hungers, and desires. We, the sharers of this unique culture, are different from others, and we can trust each other. So what's the harm in a simple phone call? It will only make it more real, more powerful, more intense. And this is where it begins….

It goes without saying that by giving someone your phone number, you have given them your real name, your address, and access not only to you, but to your entire family, your circle of real life friends and co-workers. You could very easily be inviting a rapist, thief, or killer into your life. They may tell you to call them collect, which seems safe enough, yet while you have no charges or records of this call on your bill, they do, often with the number the call was placed from displayed in black and white on their phone bill. I know that it seems sad that such people exist, but, unfortunately, they do. And, what's worse, is that all too often, they seem like the least likely people. They often relate themselves as well educated, well-adjusted, temperamental people leading ordinary, sane lives.

My goal with this essay is not to try to teach ordinary people to be amateur criminal psychologists, but simply to enlighten readers as to some simple precautions that can be taken to protect you and yours. Hopefully, if one life can be spared the torment, disruption, or victimization by any of these predators, then it's writing has been well-spent time.

First thing, NEVER GIVE OUT YOUR HOME TELEPHONE NUMBER, WORK TELEPHONE NUMBER, OR THE ADDRESS OF EITHER. This is perhaps the most obvious no-no, yet it is the most commonly broken one. Placing faith or trust in typed words on a computer monitor is a foolish quest at best. You have no proof whatsoever that what is being told to you is in any way the truth.

Second, if someone suggests making a collect call, keep the aforementioned information in mind. How do you beat it? Simple. Don't call from home, and don't assume that a cellular phone is untraceable. Caller I.D. blockers are ineffective against a well-equipped predator, so don't go thinking they provide a reasonably safe amount of anonymity. Call from a pay phone, a respectable distance from your home or any other place you frequently visit. Use calling cards with toll-free dial-up access numbers.

Agreeing to meet someone from your internet chat community is about as safe as taking a pogo-stick ride in rush-hour freeway traffic. However, millions are compelled to do this every year, and it is the most common first step en route to having your body described as 'Jane Doe #-next'. If the police even find the body, that is. So, if you insist on meeting Master Right, here's some safety tips:

1) Make sure someone unrelated to the relationship has all of the information you have on the person you're going to meet, including when and where you plan to meet, where you intend to go, and when you should be expected to return. Leave no details out, as they may be needed to trace the path of a crime.

2) Don't meet the person alone, or in a private place. Keep it public, and in the company of trusted friends. This simply cannot be stressed enough.

3) I would not suggest carrying any weapon stronger than pepper spray/MACE. Anything else could cause irreversible damage if mistakenly used, or may be taken from you and used against you. Bringing a gun to the first meeting could certainly put a damper on the night if an accidental discharge maims one of you during a goodnight hug.

4) Don't invite them back to your place unless your willing to sacrifice your freedom, health, or life. Anyone can be thoroughly charming if it means that they can get you vulnerable. And that's exactly what they want.

In future essays, I will address other issues of safety, but this should be good for starters. One last thing that should be noted is in regards to websites. One of the latest tricks with chat communities is to start giving someone the URL of hot new site that sells specialty items related to the community's interests. The site seems legitimate enough, including fake awards and certificates, but when you attempt to purchase materials, you end up turning over your name, address, and credit card information to a clever thief or predator. Be wary of sites that offer high-value bonuses or ridiculously low prices. These sites are often linking information to another site, or just outright bogus. Be cautious that your browser does not allow access to sites without valid certificates.

In closing, think carefully about everything you do when you are playing out your fantasies. Adult chat forums are quickly becoming the hunting grounds for would-be criminals. The more extreme the nature of the chat forum, the greater the danger. Be well and be safe.