Star Frek

 

Space…the final frontier. These are the voiyahgers of the starship Exitprize, their mission: To sell twinkies, engulf things in cream cheese, and have fun beating the crap outta things. To find new pizza parlors…

 

To boldly go where nobody can bother going!

 

*overexaggerated, badly redone music*

 

STAR FREK!

 

Characters:

 

(Captain) Presto: The leader of the group. Unlike the last story, this guy’s basically lost his mind and is very very silly. Has long celadon hair, silver eyes, and uses an odd fluffy bracelet on his left arm to transform into a stronger form of himself (Which looks even sillier). Uses a staff when not transformed, uses all sorts of crap when transformed.

 

Billardo Feastcraft: The main villain of the story. Despite how stupid his name is, most feared on the planet Yierheid, seeing as he easily destroyed their entire army with just a single casting of “Wheel of Fortune”. Uses a huge superheated tentacle-like whip to defeat his opponents, as well as the prized spell of his. Has white hair, wears a crappy outfit; makes him look like a street bum.

 

Various voiyahgers of the Exitprize: They really don’t have much personality development seeing as they get killed off VERY early. Only their captain survives…

 

Mr. Blatch: Billardo’s apprentice and uses a f00 named Phiermon.EeeExEee. The Fundernet is being pwned by this f00, with…ummm-BAD INTERNET CONNECTIONS! THERE WE GO! .1K anyhow?

 

Reader: *dies, gets revived*

 

Bit: That’s what I thought

 

Kirigami: One of the weirdos running around on Yierheid. Claims to have a pathetically small band of idiots =X

 

Prologue: Exitprize’s last flight

 

(Captain’s Log Number: 666. We’re flying…above the planet Yierheid..)

 

Dude with crappy shades: Engineering to Captain Jerk! Engineering to Captain Jerk!

 

Presto: THIS IS PRESTO NOT JERK! *whams*

 

Dude with crappy shades: OW OW OW! GIMMIE NEW CHEESECAKE! OWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

Presto: lololololol *brushes hair back and pulls out a “Moron” sign, whams the dude with pride*

 

Dude with crappy shades: Urgh! It burns!

 

Mr. Nirvana: Sir, calm down

 

Presto: *innocent voice as he blinks away at the dude* Awww, can’t I have more fun?

 

Mr. Nirvana: He’s lost it again *whams*

 

Presto: Ow ow ow =< Okay I’ll calm down

 

Mr. Nirvana: There’s something odd going on

 

Presto: Ummm, lemme take a guess. Someone’s trying to shove a French Fry into the ship’s warpdrive.

 

Dude with crappy shades: Well I tried shoving a French fry into the warpdrive but it didn’t do a bit of good. By the way do you happen to have a bit of ketchup?

 

Presto: o_O Mr. Nirvana?

 

Mr. Nirvana: No Ketchup, Captain

 

Presto: So? Can I go back to drinking my cherry coke now?

 

Mr. Nirvana: It would appear to me that Lieutenant Flock is trying to eat a French Fry without ketchup

 

Presto: And why the hell are we talking about fries? I’m eating pizza here! *holds up More food sign*

 

Attendant: This sucks *pies Presto*

 

Presto: Agh! Hey this is tasty Key Lime pie

 

Computer: Warning! This is an Idiot’s Idea! Warning! This is an Idiot’s Idea! Warning!-

 

Mr. Nirvana: Idiot’s Idea showing up on radar, Captain. I’m switching to visual

 

Presto: ^-^ *dances around all hyperactively* Wait, wha? What is it?!

 

Mr. Nirvana: Its what we just needed Captain; a colossal positively charged…wow, hey now I’m hungry!

 

Presto: *drools* Cheesecakeeeeeeeee!

 

Mr. Nirvana: Its too bad it’s a positively charged space cheesecake coming right at us at warp speed!

 

Presto: Wah! Mr. Tofu commence the evasion actions!

 

Mr. Tofu: Yes! Captain Moron!

 

Mr. Nirvana: Evasive actions ineffective captain, the cheesecake is closing in on us. Estimation of impact is about 6.66 seconds!

Presto: Wah! We’re gonna die if we don’t get out of here! Speed up damn it! Speed up! Or I’m going to threaten you all by making you all cosplay as Hyatt tomorrow!

 

Crew: AHHHHHHH! *commences speed up sequence*

 

Presto: *holds up “I win” sign* Yes! It worked! Faster men!

 

*cheesecake hits as he’s blabbering*

 

Presto: Urgh…is everyone okay?

 

Crew: …

 

Presto: Guys?! AHHHHHHH! They appear to have died! Must’ve been rotten! Eep! This ship is falling toward planet Yierheid. *tries to hit the controls madly*

 

Mr. Nirvana: Captain…take…care…on…the…planet…-

 

Presto: Agh! They really did die! *holds up his staff* Oh well, bracing for impact!

 

(As the Starship Exitprize enters Yierheid’s atmosphere, what will happen to Presto, seeing as we already know he survives. Find out on the next episode of Star Frek. Because we got high off caffeine)

 

 

Chapter 1: The dawn of an Adventure

 

<insert Metroid Fusion image of Research Center crashing into SR-338 here>

 

Presto: Wow…what happen?

 

???: Can’t even speak proper English? Who are you?

 

Presto: I am Captain Presto of the Starship Exitprize…except all of them died ;_;

 

???: Aww…for a young captain you seem to be a little bit on the cute side

 

Presto: Aye, gimmie a break. I’m only 16, the rest were way older than me so I don’t know how the hell I got to command them =X

 

???: I see

 

Director from KN: Okay, I’ve gotten bored. I’m thankfully no longer a Director since this story doesn’t get one. So I need to slaughter something…AH SHE’S STILL HERE TOO?! *runs*

 

SFX Girl: :D *chase*

 

Sasami: Hm…your interesting, you were the captain of the Starship Exitprize, I assume?

 

Presto: Yeah! So where’d I put that cherry coke?

 

Sasami: Its on your head! XD

 

Presto: *looks up on his head* Oh… *drinks the soda on his head*

 

Reeza: Presto kind sir! The village is under attack!

 

Director: I’ll save you! Or maybe not *runs*

 

Presto: Oohhhhh, what ish it? :D

 

Reeza: Enraged cows armed with machine guns are attacking the village!

 

Presto: WHEEEEEE! BATTLE BATTLE BATTLE!

 

Civilians: Where did this guy come from?

 

Presto: *pulls out staff* I wanna crush these wannabe freaks! :D

 

Civilians: *retreat to some foreign village*

 

Presto: RAR! *dashes in*

 

(6000 leagues under the sea- I mean…30 mins later!)

 

Bandits: Urgh! Its some Yuna poser!

 

Presto: I’m a CAPTAIN not a SUMMONER!

 

Guy at counter: Warning! This is a PANTS complication! Warning! This is a PANTS complication! Gawddamn you reader…

 

Bandits: What the hell is a pants complication?

 

Guy at counter: I said so

 

Bandit: …

 

Presto: YAH! *whaps Bandit over the head*

 

Bandit: Oh! That hurt *sarcasm*

 

Presto: =< *whap whap whap whap whap whap whap whap whap whap*

 

(Insert image of FF guys doing 1 damage to the final boss here over and over and over. A week later)

 

Presto: Grr…I broke my staff! Damn hardhead

 

Bandit: x_x

 

Presto: Yes! He fell over! I casted the spell that makes the people fall down!

 

Director: You didn’t, you don’t use magic baka

 

Presto: Oh! And the cows are running away

 

Reeza: Look out, sir!

 

*cows run over Presto*

 

Presto: …x_x

 

Cows: Moo! *shoot madly*

 

(With many people falling over in pain from machine guns launching manure, what will Presto do now? Is he going to end up in more trouble? Is the Director from KN now our Director? Is the SFX girl back for a reason unable to be mentioned? Find out about these countless questions on the next episode of Star Frek!)

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2: Gets $500,000,000 more bucks! *shot shot shot shot shot*

 

(Presto recovers from being ran over by getting a poke. Insert lame conversation erupting here)

 

Bakahenshin: Captain Presto! I’m so sorry!

 

Presto: Wait! Whats the matter?

 

Bakahenshin: Oh my, Captain Presto! Have you had your Funyuns? Its so important!

 

Presto: No, dumbass. You ate ‘em all!

 

Bakahenshin: …Shit!

 

Presto: *Scorpion voice* GET OVER HERE!

 

Bakahenshin: *runs away* AHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Presto: Good, he went away. Now I gotta repair this staff o_o

 

Our HUGE idiot for a main character runs off to repair his staff, does a whole lot of weirdo stuff, and ends up with PLENTY of lawsuits going at him.

 

Presto: Damn it! I hate you Director! I don’t wanna wear a barrel!

 

Director: Sue me later

 

Presto: Rar! *tries to hit director with staff pieces, hits a monitor, falls over*

 

Director: O_o! *runs off*

 

Presto: Nyuuuuuu! Hey! Wrong sound

 

Staff: …*doesn’t even say a thing*

 

Presto: =<

 

Vash: Ummm…excuse me, uhh, Bimbo #6?

 

Presto: O_o! *runs off* Urgh! I’m so suing for this staff having to break

 

Director: Get over it

 

Presto: Wha?! Hey! Over here! I’m hungry damn youuuuu

 

Kirigami: Get lost!

 

Presto: Grrr…I hate you!

 

Kirigami: *puts on a huge boot* GIGANTIC PINK SLIP KICK ATTACK! YOUR FIRED!

 

Presto: Blast it…warghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *goes flying*

 

Presto: Damn it Director! You suck ass, you know that?! *looks around for a bit* What the hell? Who’s that weirdo over there?!

 

Bakahenshin: Hmmm. You pesky novice captain…i’ll pwn you!

 

Presto: Don’t make me mad *turns all green and transforms and all*

 

Bakahenshin: Ummm…you’re an anorexic version of The Hulk?

 

Presto: Presto Smash! *breaks his own bones* Damn you! *returns to normal*

 

Bakahenshin: Why don’t you fight me, wuss?

 

Presto: *odd voice change* I can tell by your stance that this will be a simple fight

 

Bakahenshin: Oh yeah? I can tell by your stance that you like polka

 

Presto: Grrr…shut up and fight!

 

Bakahenshin: *slows down time, punches Presto in the face* Take this!

 

Presto: OW!!!

 

Bakahenshin: Oh forget this! *returns time to normal, pulls out a focus powered pistol* DIE! *charges it up*

 

Presto: This sucks, my staff’s broken, and this guy looks like some sort of damn Megaman. I know! Time for the dumbass transformation that I may as well kill the director for later!

 

Director: Damn it! And now everyone’s revoltin’ against me! XO

 

Presto: *grasps onto his staff* Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *glows in an eerie blue light*

 

Presto: I AM THE BOGUS HRHRHRHR *transforms*

 

Bakahenshin: *kicks Presto in the face* God, you suck *resumes shooting madly*

 

Presto: …Damn it, I look incredibly strange

 

Bakahenshin: You some damn sort of Roll now? Bah! You even match the hairstyle! The only thing missing in the hair color!

 

Presto: Man just shut up, even though I also am wearing blue shades nobody’s going to sue. Now where was I…ummm *begins pulling out some weird looking chess pieces* Taste this!

 

Bakahenshin: What the hell?

 

Presto: Bishop Grenades! *tosses Bishop pieces at Bakahenshin*

 

Bakahenshin: Damn twit! *shoots*

 

Presto: …DAMN IT! I JUST GOT THIS OUTFIT CLEANED!

 

Bakahenshin: …What the hell are you charging?

 

Presto: *shakes head up and down, left and right* You’ll know! Ummm…uhhh *shots a huge spitwad at Bakahenshin which is the size of a boulder*

 

Bakahenshin: AGH! DAMN IT! So much for that! Baka a go go Baby!

 

Bakahenshin: Ummm *pulls out a card* Royal Flush damn you!

 

Presto: *gets hit by the cards* Hmmm

 

Bakahenshin: You can’t beat me! I have fury!

 

Presto: ~_~ *thinks*

 

Bakahenshin: Running out of ideas, eh?

 

Presto: Not really *raises up arm cannon and begins charging up, debris beginning to raise off the ground* =X

 

Bakahenshin: Really? Prove it before I raise my Baka sign in the air =P

 

Presto:  But your not the same card dude, now…ZETA CANNON! *fires off a huge spreading beam off at Bakahenshin*

 

Bakahenshin: Argh! My henshin…goddamn you stupid girly looking captain. I’m fleeing for the sake of my stupidity! *teleports away*

 

Presto: *returns to normal after Bakehenshin teleports away* Whew, now that’s that…now what to do *wanders around*

 

(The Captain suddenly spots a huge sign)

 

Presto: Eh? Persons wanted to fight the great cow army of Billardo Feastcraft…join our cause if you dare. Meh, I just want another soda and i’ll stop by :D

 

(As Presto wanders off to a store to buy a soda before heading his way, what the heck is this group about? Does the Cow Army that ran Presto over actually have links to the evil on Yierheid? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek, which sadly is on VHS *blammed*)

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3: The Desert Base: Tyrenon

 

(After venturing aimlessly for weeks, a ridiculously hungry Presto stumbles into a “store”, though its really a desert base)

 

Presto: Ergh, for fsk sakes…so this is where it is!! Ooh, free soda too! =P

 

Guard dude: Who goes there?!

 

Presto: I just want my Sprite! Geez! Lemme in!

 

Guard Dude: Ummm…wait a second. WHICH Sprite?

 

Presto: The drink, dang it!

 

Guard Dude: …Never heard of one! Now be gone or I turn you INTO a Sprite

Presto: What the hell? *thinks*

 

Guard Dude: *charges up some magic spell move* I told you! BE GONEEEEEE!

 

Presto: *charges* NO! I WANT MY SODA! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!

 

Guard Dude: *blasts Presto, turns him into a sprite*

 

Presto: …*looks in mirror* Okay…THIS SUCKS! >:O

 

Guard Dude: *wanders off* Right, you deserve it *gets stabbed*

 

???: Ahahaha, I’m so much younger than you but I can kick your ass in anything! >:D

 

Guard Dude: ARGH! Who goes there?!

 

Azly: None of your business =P *stab stab stab stab stab stab stab*

 

Guard Dude: AGH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS! *dies*

 

Azly: Aw, that was too fast. It was ONLY a spork *runs off*

 

Presto: Who was t- HEY! REVERT ME! PLEASE! PWRETTY PLEASEEEEEEE!

 

Director: o_O Say…who did that when I was wandering on set?

 

Presto: Hey! Do something here!

 

Director: No…just…no. ACK! *notices various pwn rays at his head*

 

Various people: Don’t move or we’ll shoot! >:D!

 

Director: Man, this is low

 

Presto: Hahaha! …but I’m small as EVER! ;_;

 

Adventurer: Whoa! Look at that cute little thing ^_^’

 

Presto: Hi! >=P

 

Adventurer: *notices the bracelet* Hey! What’re you about to do?

 

Presto: *giggles* Sorry, but I really gotta have fun

 

Adventurer: Oh…crap…whats happening?

 

Presto: *whistles, glows all magically* You may not wanna know ^_^

 

Adventurer: *poofs* …

 

Presto: YAY! Cute little bunny rabbit! *glomps*

 

Adventurer: >_<

 

Presto: Wait! This isn’t playtime >:D BYEEEEE! *gets up and runs off*

 

Adventurer: Damn it…

 

(One too many lamers and many hours later, when the Director is chasing Presto around the base. A cloaked redhead is following them as well. Our captain makes a very stupid bargain with him =P)

 

Presto: What?! So your saying this machine will make me completely forget what happened?

 

Braniwood: Of course! Its not used to cure smartness for nothing!

 

Presto: O_o Well, ummm *holds up sign and runs off as fast he can*

 

Braniwood: Quite an odd type *reveals his red hair and simply scratches it, glares at the director who’s right next to him* I hate you Director. Why did you make me an evil looking Eliwood and nothing else?! And without the hugeass sword to boot?!

 

Director: I’m living cheaply, now shaddap >:O

 

Braniwood: …Dude. Don’t make me Flux you!

 

Director: Did you say FLEX?

 

Braniwood: FLUX YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A DIRECTOR!

 

Director: *slashes Braniwood in the face* Hope you love a new level of pain! >:D

 

Braniwood: OW OW OW! Damn it…

 

Director: Good, he’s in pain. Now off I go! *runs off*

 

Braniwood: Wait! Goddamn lucky moron…

 

Presto: Lalala *puts the machine over him* I wonder if this will do its work!

 

(Insert funky aura and weirdo music playing here, Presto returns to normal, but is so confused)

 

Presto: I don’t get it x_x

 

Braniwood: MACHINE! YES! IT WORKED!

 

Presto: Eh?

 

Braniwood: It worked like a dream, hurrah for Tyrenon!

 

Presto: What the hell’s a Tyrenon?

 

Braniwood: Crud…

 

(Just as everyone stands there, an odd warpy sound is heard)

 

Guard: Sir Braniwood!

 

Braniwood: What the hell is it?

 

Guard: There’s some odd shiny warp in the distance. An Android is coming out!

 

Braniwood: Figures, is this some stupid ass plot twist?

 

Director: You bet!

 

Braniwood: *shows middle finger to Director*

 

Director: I always get that response ~_~

 

ZK-336: Hey! How the hell am I intact? I self-destructed! Oh well, I was instructed by Billardo to pwn a certain Captain! >:D

 

Presto: No! Not me! I’m not ugly enough!

 

ZK-336: But when I finish you off you’ll be a good thing to dip in paint! =X

 

Presto: *takes out staff* Man, forget this! I can take you out anyday of the week. Even with my prettiful Celadon hair!

 

ZK-336: =X *pulls out scimitar which seems to glow cerulean and a fresh fragrant scent comes off it* Not if I can help it! If you wanna fight that bad then i’ll follow my programming, just so I can turn you into one of us androids. =P

 

Presto: Dream on, for…

 

 

(Insert a brief pause)

 

Presto: I HAVE FURY! *readies staff*

 

ZK-336: Okies! *tries to slash Presto, but misses*

 

Presto: Urgh *blams the android, but apparently it has no effect*

 

ZK-336: What good is a weak thing like that against my titanium alloy? =P *slashes again, but thankfully its not glowing as it hits Presto*

 

Presto: Ow!

 

ZK-336: Dang! If I hit just right I could’ve got her a new playmate ^_^

 

Presto: …Urgh! I’ve been through enough transformations for one day, at least the bad kind, which make you act all *innocent look* JUST PUT THAT SWORD AWAY!

 

ZK-336: No => *slash*

 

Presto: *backflips and shoots off a magic blast at ZK-336* Just go away, please! >_< I don’t wanna be a playmate of anyone >_<

 

ZK-336: Agh! Ow!

 

Presto: Wait! Your rusty! Literally! YES I SPOTTED A WEAK POINT!

 

ZK-336: *slashes, its glowing and actually hits*

 

Presto: …CHIBI! >_< CHIBI CHIBI! >_< CHIBI?! >_<

 

ZK-336: w00t! I did it! I nailed him! Wait…wha?

 

Presto: *poofs back to normal* That’s not fair! =< *transforms* That’s it…TASTE MY WRATH *pulls out SFC controller, presses buttons madly*

 

ZK-336: What the hell? I’m being hit…BY SOMETHING!

 

Presto: I learned this trick a LONG time ago *snicker*

 

ZK-336: OW! Out I go >_<

 

Director: ULTRAAAA COMBOOOOOOOOOO! >:D

 

ZK-336: Bye! Ow I wish I still had the Victory Saber *retreats*

 

Braniwood: Well done…whoever the fsking hell you are x_x

 

Presto: My name’s Presto, dang it! Now make me a sammich or at least get me Doritos!

 

Braniwood: …Do it yourself, lazy

 

Presto: =< *innocent look* Please?

 

Braniwood: No! *kicks Presto like a soccer ball into a far off port-o-potty*

 

(With a familiar foe from Kros Nights taken out once more, Presto is finally getting accustomed to the new base and new faces. But what the fsk will Presto deal with now? And who the hell’s Billardo? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek. Where technology meets much spoofage)

 

 

Director: Definitely! =P

 

Sound Effects Girl: *pwns*

 

Director: This NEVER gets old does it? X_x

 

 

 

 

Chapter 4: Watch your radar! Because we got a rabid twinkie chasing us!

 

(Our resident baka captain is standing in front of some sort of throne room, speaking with one screwed up looking person)

 

Natsume: So you’re that stupid captain that was wandering by…

 

Presto: Eh?

 

Natsume: Time to give you your gear and send you off, odd celadon haired idiot I rather throw back in a ship and send you somewhere to get owned.

 

Presto: …

 

Natsume: I thought so >:D Now *hands Presto something bite-sized* Take this…

 

Presto: What the hell? I could seriously EAT this! =P

 

Natsume: It’s a Bite-Sized Cell Phone! Now don’t eat it otherwise you’ll really pay, maybe in the fun way that I throw you in a cage!

 

Presto: …DAMN!

 

Natsume: Yes yes, fear me. Now move along!

 

Presto: >_< *runs away madly*

 

(15 minutes later…)

 

Natsume: Perfect…he’s running into a trap. *presses button, monitor pops out of the bottom of a chair* Natsume here.

 

Billardo: Hm? Well met, so have you caught up with that idiotic captain of the Exitprize yet?

 

Natsume: Yes, I just sent him on some very retarded mission.

 

Billardo: Excellent…he’ll suffer once we’re through with him. Mwhahahahaha.

 

Natsume: *snickers* I can agree with you on that, Bill. Signing out.

 

Billardo: Alright *monitor disappears below chair*

 

Natsume: Kekekeke…

 

(*odd Exitprize image appears* Meanwhile…)

 

Presto: Man, this is getting boring already. Wandering around, at least I wandered off the base. But now I’m just dying from a lack of water! X_x

 

(And suddenly lets just say a “WOOSH” is heard)

 

Presto: What the hell? Damn it! I just wanted a drink! Show yourself!!

 

(Then a train sound echoes through the desert)

 

Presto: What the hell would a train be here at a time like this?

 

Charge Man: Rar!

 

(Megaman 5 Boss Music starts playing)

 

Presto: Meh, this’ll be easy…

 

(More train sounds are made)

 

Presto:…Or NOT! AHHHH!

 

30 Charge Men: >:O You said it would be easy?

 

Presto: Fuckkkkkkk x_x *readies himself*

 

Charge Men: *just rush at Presto*

Presto: Damn you PA! Its all your fault isn’t it?!

 

PA: …*listening to a Megaman mp3*

 

Presto: I hate you >:O!

 

CharStar: Heh, I predict an ass kick =X

 

Presto: *whacks one of the Charge Men with his staff, which just seems to do absolutely nothing*

 

Charge Man 1: You think that’ll do! *runs into Presto*

 

Presto: Agh! I hate the fact there happens to be 30 of these morons x_x

 

Charge Man 5: *body slams Presto*

 

Presto: …I need to transform! But my fluffy bracelet just won’t activate!! X_x

 

Charge Men: Hahaha

 

Presto: *whacks another one of the Charge Men, all 30 just run into him at the same time and send him flying*

 

Charge Men: So long, wimp!

 

Presto: *starts crying* Wahhhhh! Wahhhhh! This just isn’t fair *sniffles*

 

CharStar: *pulls out a Machine Gun and just opens fire*

 

Charge Men: ?! *all of them get hit* Goddamnit

 

CharStar: Wha? *notices Zeeky H Bomb being dropped by one of them* Oh shit!

 

Zeeky H Bomb: Zeeky Boog Doog!

 

(Nuclear (sic) Explosion! And the music finally stops)

 

Presto: At least I wasn’t in that >:D *stops crying*

 

CharStar: *blams Presto*

 

Presto: Ow, damn it! *runs off*

 

CharStar: That’s odd enough…

 

Presto: Those weirdo base people, man, i’ll just pwn that one guy myself =P

 

???: *from afar* Rabid twinkies…hehehe

 

(As Presto just wanders around aimlessly, he spots a city finally. What the hell will he do next? Find out on the next real weird episode of Star Frek. Where Star Trek’s concept just gets screwed over)

 

Presto: Which pwns you! >:D

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 5: Meep! Too much advancedness x_x

 

(Captain Idiot just wanders all over town, clueless on what to do next)

 

Presto: Dang it! There are so many weird gizmos around here =X

 

Merchant: Welcome to Gizmo Junkie, home of the Gizmo Junkie, can I take your order?

 

Presto: O_o *checks pockets*

 

Merchant: Well?

 

Presto: See that old ass controller with candy-esque buttons?

 

Merchant: That 2,026 year old piece of junk from 1991? 450 Muno please!

 

Presto: *pays for it* Yes!

 

Merchant: Anything damn else?

 

Presto: o_o’ Ummm…you see that weird outfit?

 

Merchant: O_o Weirdo, that’s an outfit of Kasumi Nerachi!

 

Presto: Who’s that?

 

Merchant: Someone who’s way too famous around here, idiot. That outfit doesn’t even suit a guy like you.

 

Presto: =P Its mine anyway

 

Merchant: Your odd, seriously. 1500 Muno please O_o

 

Presto: *pays for it* Gahaha, thanks *runs off without even bothering to say thanks*

 

Merchant: Damn it, well maybe he’ll attract people in that outfit.

 

Presto: *runs back to base* I hate the fact I always have to report back! Can’t I just pwn someone? >:D *steals laser-powered watch on the way in*

 

(Many minutes later, of course)

 

Natsume: You failed! Fsking idiot can’t do anything right around these boundaries!

 

Presto: Man, just shut up alright! Or do I really have to fight you?

 

Natsume: Nice outfit though. Gimmie!

 

Presto: No =P

Natsume: God you’re a moron

 

Presto: Good! Because I’m the Captain of the Starship Exitprize!

 

Natsume: Exitprize?! Hmmm, not bad for an odd looking freak.

 

Presto: …

 

Natsume: But I fear I may have to take you out for really pissing me off! >:D

 

Presto: Fine! These fights are getting lame anyway. I hate you director *readies staff*

 

Natsume: Hehe *pulls out an axe the size of New Zealand*

 

Sound Effects Girl: *takes, runs off*

 

Natsume: HEY! Aw damn it, i’ll just use my fists…

 

Presto: *lunges at Natsume and blams*

 

Natsume: Urgh! *uppercuts Presto*

 

Presto: Ergh, stupid friggin- *hits a wall*

 

Natsume: =P *uppercuts again*

 

Presto: x_x

 

Natsume: Your very pathetic

 

Presto: *twirls staff and hits Natsume on the head VERY hard*

 

(CLANK!)

 

Natsume: Ow! That felt like an anvil x_x

 

Presto: Gahaha, you won’t win this time =P

Natsume: Oh yeah? Take this! *shoots off a blast of ice at Presto, who’s then frozen*

 

Presto: *frozen*

 

Natsume: Umm…*does a stupid looking ram kick move to Presto, whos defrosted*

 

Presto: Is that all you got?! Well…taste my wrath! *uses his fluffy bracelet, shirt opens up* Behold my mighty skills! *shoots missles out of his chest at Natsume*

 

Natsume: What the hell? GAKTHAFAFHA! *flies into Presto*

 

Presto: Ow! What the hell was that anyway? *shoots off spear at Natsume* COME ‘ERE!

 

Natsume: *gets grabbed and pulled toward Presto* Damn it

 

Presto: *assumes dumbass pose* Wootah! *flies through the air and kicks Natsume stupidly*

 

Natsume: *uppercuts Presto* Idiot…

 

Presto: *runs through Natsume and causes her to spin* Hah! Eat this! *roundhouse kicks*

 

Stupid Random Voice: FINISH HER!

 

Presto: Shut up you! *notices red button on Natsume’s throne thing, presses it* Wonder what this does…*grabs Natsume and notices he falls, assumes suplex position*

 

Stupid Random Voice: Presto Wins! Stupidality!

 

CharStar: What the hell?!

 

Director: *invites some of Espil’s NPC’s in*

 

 

Koria: What the hell?

 

Cloud: Don’t know

 

Zain: Let’s beat it up! :D

 

Kari: YAY!! *beats Stupid Random Voice over the head with a pillow, Stupid Random Voice dies*

 

(Outside…)

 

Presto: Ow! Geez I sure landed the wrong way x_x

 

Natsume: Huh? Do I see a plushie?

 

Presto: *runs away* Nope!

 

Natsume: …WAIT FOR ME, COME BACKKKK =<

 

(As Presto once again wanders Yierheid as stupidly as ever before, what the hell awaits the captain now? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek.)

 

Sagat: TIGER UPPERCU- *mauled by a real tiger*

 

 

 

 

Chapter 6: Attack of ze undead Rattata from a Planet nowhere near Mars.

 

(Presto is just wandering around. Its Night time, and well-

 

Night: Did you mean ME?!

 

Director: *presses Eject button*

 

Night: Uwa! *falls out of the story*

 

…lets just say something goes wrong)

 

Presto: Hello? Order? Good Burger? Please? Anyone out here for fsk sakes? I’m getting bored!

 

CharStar: Hi! My Name is Ben Dover!

 

Presto: …Aw man

 

(1 hour later…)

 

Presto: This is just getting screwy…am I in a friggin graveyard? I need to pwn something!

 

(2 hours later…)

 

Presto: SLOW DOWN STUPID DIRECTOR GOD DANG IT!

 

(3 hours later…)

 

Presto: Someone on the set PLEASE get the rewind button!!

 

(4 hours later…camera shifts)

 

Presto: Okay, that’s it! *blams some of the producers*

 

Director: o_o’

 

(Camera shifts back to usual set)

 

Presto: Geez…now where were we?

 

CharStar: Ummm…dude. Look behind you

 

Presto: What the heck do you mean? I see NOTHING!

 

(Right when our idiot captain says that, holes pop up, and we see Rattata coming out of the ground. What they say is…well, pretty unusual for undead things)

 

Undead Rattata: CHEEEEESEEEEEE!

 

Presto: O_o AHHHH! They’re undead! But they aren’t after my brain

 

CharStar: *runs off*

 

Presto: AGH! MY CHEDDAR CHEESE IS IN DANGER! *runs madly*

 

Director: *hands out earplugs*

 

Presto: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- *cough hack wheeze, falls off cliff*

 

(One word, in the words of Emeril: BAM!)

 

Presto: x_x *gets up* I’m sure glad that’s over *gets a call on his bite size cell phone* Hello?

 

???: This is your new mission giver or whatever.

 

Presto: What the heck is it?

 

???: Quickly head to the shrine that’s screwily colored which is about 30 miles ahead! Don’t waste your time! Those 7 Morons are bound to desecrate people like Billardo does! GO!

 

Presto: Who the hell is Billard- *signal dies* DAMN IT! ALRIGHT THEN! LETS GO!!!

 

(As Presto realizes finally where the hell he has to go, who are these 7 Morons? Does this sound like a ripoff to the reader? Will the Director keep his brain intact? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek!)

 

Director: WE ARE THE KROS NIGHTS! WE EAT MILK AND DRINK ICE CREAM AND SELL OUR FOES ON EBAY! YES YES YES!

 

Sound Effects Girl: *presses the pwn button*

 

Director: …Hey! Return my voice to normal! I hate it when its 8 octaves too high!

 

Sound Effects Girl: XD

 

 

 

 

Chapter 7: Legend of the 7 Morons. Whoever those morons are =P

 

(The captain’s spotted heading north, toward a shrine of some sort that’s very screwily colored.)

 

Presto: Great, a shrine. Now where’s the action? *innocent look*

 

Director: Its surrounding you, idiot!

 

Presto: *looks around, is surrounded by chocobos*

 

Chocobos: WARK!

 

Presto: Wait, are these chocobos wanting to pwn me?

 

Director: Ummm…uhhh *scoots off*

 

Presto: Director? DIRECTOR! WHAT STUPID TRICK IS THIS?!

 

(Insert Mr Weight here)

 

Presto: !! *crushed by Mr Weight*

 

Chocobos: Wark! *charge off*

 

Presto: Stupid lame anvil trick…$@*#@

 

(Hours later…)

 

Presto: Alright, lets find out what this 7 Morons crap is =X

 

Braniwood: It sucks that your wandering around so stupidly

 

Presto: Shut up before I have to fight! And you will fall to my silliness!

 

Braniwood: Whatever

 

Bakahenshin: Oh goodie, we’ve ALL been led here in stupidity to find out this secret operation =X

 

Presto: Just go away!

 

Kuigi: You’ll have to get past all of us!

 

Presto: Fine, I can take you all on!

 

Kasumi: Your wearing an outfit of mine…XD

 

Presto: …O_o EXPLAIN WHY YOU ALL ARE HERE! =P

 

Kasumi: *gets a machine with a lever near Presto* No *pulls the lever*

 

Presto: *notices hole in the ground below him* Hey! NO FAIR! *falls for a few seconds before turning into a star*

 

Kasumi: Hehe =P

 

Bakahenshin: Was that really necessary?

 

Kuigi: Yes! =P

 

Braniwood: No you idiots, it wasn’t!

 

Bakahenshin: Forget it, we’re ALL idiots

 

(Many feet below…)

 

 

 

 

Presto: Okay, why the hell am I here?

 

???: He’s right there!

 

Presto: Damn it!

 

???: GET HIMMMMMMMM!

 

Presto: *runs as fast as he can*

 

(Insert Director trying control the sounds, but gets pwned bigtime)

 

Sound Effects Girl: MINE! >:O

 

Director: =<

 

(Back to the scene…)

 

Presto: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Geez, i’m almost outta air. Ummm…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *coughs*

 

???: Damn it! He’s too fast

 

Presto: You all suck! >=P

 

???: You spoony captain! Even though we’re only running at one mile per hour we’ll get you!

 

Presto: *fires up laser powered watch to check time, but instead it shows the letters “Pwned”* ?! Crap!

 

???: YES! Now your not going anywhere =X

 

Presto: Reveal yourselves…

 

Chocobos: *suddenly run over Presto*

 

Presto: *gets out of the ground* That SUCKED! Damn it!

 

???: Blah, Bleh, Bluh, Bweh, Buah, Beh, and Bah! THE 7 MORONS! Blasting off at the speed of light! Surrender now or prepare to fight! Bweep that’s right!

 

Presto: Watching another ANCIENT program? Might I add it SUCKED?! Urgh, you know what? I’m gonna open the can. NOW!

 

Blah: Crap

 

Bleh: You got that right! He revealed where our motto originated from!

 

Presto: *pulls out staff* I, Presto, will knock you all down!

 

Bah: Try us! =P

 

Presto: *grabs Beh and Bweh and smashes them together*

 

Buah: *stabs Presto with a claw* Omg Blitz guy hrhrhr

 

Presto: Stupid Vega ripoff *blams Buah with his staff*

 

Buah: ERGH!

 

Blah: *does weird multipunch crap*

 

Bweh: *jumps*

 

Presto: Too many…you know what. I’ll just *pulls an Ilpalazzo and summons a rope, pulls the rope and a huge hole appears below the enemies*

 

All: BLAST IT! HE HAS FURYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~ *turn into stars*

 

Presto: Much better…now what the heck to do next? Must it be the time to get pants?

 

(Will Presto ever figure out what to do next? Do I sense the Director wanting to end this chapter in a blam? Will the Sound Effects Girl pwn the Director many times next chapter? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek!)

 

Ave: I SUMMON MR WEIGHT!

 

*chapter is smashed to pieces*

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 8: “My Pants is my Life! *pants get chopped off*”

 

(Presto is wandering aimlessly toward the base again once he discovers a weird box of…)

 

Presto: What the hell? 2,000 YEAR OLD PANTS!!

 

Bakahenshin: I guess, where’s my pants?

 

Kuigi: Lets eat those twinkies AND pants!

 

Bakahenshin: MY PANTS IS MY LIFE DAMN IT!

 

Kuigi: I thought it was your henshin and these twinkies?

 

(Suddenly, a really stupid barrage occurs)

 

Ryu clones: PANTS! PANTS! PANTS! PANTS! PANTS! PANTS! PANTS! PANTSDOUKEN!

 

Presto: IN THE NAME OF TWINKIES! NOT THIS CRAP!

 

Bakahenshin: We’re gonna go to pants! OH YESSSSS!

 

Kuigi: Shaddap about your pants will ya?!

 

Braniwood: Have a nice trip being blasted back to base with pants!

 

Kuigi: I SO WANT YOUR HEAD, PANTS MAN!

 

Braniwood: Nyah *pants*!

 

Presto: Damn twinkies!

 

(56,000 layers of pants later…cutscene back to base; its lunchtime, damn you. And well, Presto’s just building up…o_o)

 

Bakahenshin: Goddamn it Presto! Quit building up twinkies!

 

Presto: Who cares? >:O I have pants!

 

Braniwood: Yes, you do. NOW SHADDAP ABOUT YOUR PANTS!

 

Kuigi: Why the hell are these pants missing pants?

 

Presto: What the HELL are you saying about those pants?!

 

Bakahenshin: WE ALREADY GOT PANTS YOU IDIOT!

 

Presto: Well, I’m determined to piece out these pants!

 

Kuigi: How the hell can you solve a pair of pants?

 

Braniwood: Twinkies.

 

Presto: o_o

 

Bakahenshin: Twinkies! I have the henshin!

 

Presto: Great, and what if I solve these pair of pants?

 

Braniwood: You associate in beating up Billardo Feastcraft and his army of PANTS!

 

Presto: …

 

Director: SCREW IT! I’m solving a box of twinkies! *runs off*

 

Braniwood: Where the hell did his twinkies come from?

 

Presto: His twinkies are on Mars, k?

 

Kuigi: …

 

(Later that day, our baka captain tries to piece out the pair of pants. But does he get to any success? And nobody even mentioned how the design is? Well…lets just say…)

 

Presto: *throws the pants into a wall* DAMN IT! I CANNOT SOLVE THIS PAIR OF PANTS!

 

Braniwood: *facepalms* Quit trying to solve a lousy pair of pants!

 

Presto: But I must! These pants are holy!

 

Bakahenshin: I HAVE FURY- I MEAN PANTS!

 

Kuigi: Must this get any worse in terms of pants?

 

(Meanwhile…)

 

Ave: I SUMMON THE PAIR OF PANTS!

 

(Back to Presto…)

 

Presto: Forget it, alright? I MUST SOLVE THESE PANTS IN THE NAME OF TWINKIES!

 

(Next blasted morning…)

 

ZK-336: Mweh, there he is! TIME FOR THE PANTSING! *jumps in front of Presto*

 

Presto: What in the name of twinkies?

 

ZK-336: Your not going anywhere with YOUR pants!

 

Presto: *picks up a piece of fabric that ZK-336 is holding* Well too bad, you just had the piece of pants!*puts it together, and then puts on the pants*

 

ZK-336: …What?! What the hell’s about to happen?!

 

Presto: *AOL voice* YOU GOT PANTS! *activates bracelet*

 

ZK-336: Aw damn it! *readies chibi scimitar* I’ll still have my personal Chibi Chibi with pants! ^_^’ I’ll take the pants, too >=P

 

Presto: Not so fast, Twinkie Girl

 

ZK-336: I’m an android, silly pants man! =P

 

Presto: Well too bad, your twinkies will fall!

 

ZK-336: Or so you think ^_^ Twinkies with Chibi!

 

Presto: Now your creeping me out about your pants *charges up*

 

ZK-336: *attacks, takes pants*

 

Presto: *gets hit, pants are gone* …Chibi!

 

ZK-336: *glomp, eats twinkies*

 

Presto: *returns to normal after taking pants back* Damn it! Okay that’s it

 

(Cutscene of Street Fighter 2 appears. Someone’s using Sagat alright…o_o)

 

Presto: TIGER UPPERCUT! WITH PANTS! *attacks ZK-336*

 

ZK-336: >_<  I won’t accept defeat! Your pants will be mine!

 

Presto: *funky eye appears on his forehead* Or so you think. YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE PANTS! *blasts ZK-336 far away*

 

ZK-336: Nue! I’ll get you, and your pants! Someday…

 

Presto: …*runs off and doesn’t even speak because of the damn altered chapter*

 

(Is the pants and twinkies madness over? Presto’s heading toward the frozen tundra of Yierheid apparently. Will the Sound Effects Girl get what she wishes? Is the Director going to even bother explaining? FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF STAR FREK! >:D)

 

Director: *wanders around, gets pantsed* …Okay, that’s just…

 

Sound Effects Girl: *runs off*

 

Director: …

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 9: The Disgruntled Strike Back!

 

(Just say the Director really got himself in a mess =X)

 

Director: Hm?

 

Vash: THAT USED PANTS TOO MUCH!

 

Guy at counter: I know! Its MY line! LETS GET HIM!

 

Director: …Oh crap

 

(Insert MUCH blammage from the staff here. Just 2 minutes later)

 

Announcer: ULTRAAAAA COMBOOOOOOOO!

 

Director: But the hits haven’t even stopped amounting!

 

Announcer: Shaddap, just lemme do my job!

 

Director: …*fires the producer* I win!

 

Others: ~_~

 

Sound Effects Girl: I should make a filler!

 

Director: Oh drat…

 

(Now onto the plot for great justice! Presto is still where he was last chapter. Two idiots are hiding a cactus)

 

Weird guy with huge mask: Yes! Must…TAKE…PANTS!

 

Director: Dude, the pants aren’t your life.

 

Weird guy with huge mask: YES THEY ARE!

 

Director: Then…maybe I need to show you a brief lesson

 

Weird guy with huge mask: *grabbed* Eh?!

 

Director: Like…THIS! *suplexes the weird guy, an explosion also catches the weird guy as well*

 

Weird guy with huge mask: x_x

 

Director: *dusts his hands off* That’s what you call fried, man =P

 

(Meanwhile…)

 

Presto: Damn! Looks like the only way of escaping this joint is hijacking a car! YES! YES! YES!

 

*crickets start chirping*

 

Presto: HEY! SHADDAP! I’m trying to think! *innocent look*

 

Kuigi: Meh, lets ditch him =X

 

Kasumi: Why?

 

Braniwood: He’ll take 5 billion years to get an idea-

 

(Insert a HUGE anvil falling here)

 

All: OW!

 

Presto: =<!

 

Bakahenshin: Damn it…that’ll leave a mark in the morning

 

Presto: Don’t diss my thinking, f00!

 

Kuigi: Sir…

 

Presto: Bleh, now where did I put that blasted-

 

???: HOLD IT!

 

Presto: No! YOU DON’T DESERVE MY PIE!

 

???: I didn’t want your pie you dimwit…

 

Presto: …*pulls out his staff*

 

???: Good, now get ready to die

 

Presto: Borin-

 

(And before this battle even started, a GIGANTIC explosion just blows both of ‘em away)

 

Billardo: Fools…Fletch! GO BACK TO BASE! I’ll take care of this fool myself!

 

Presto: So you’re the moron who has the wheel…

 

Billardo: Exactly, twerp. Now get up and make me a sammich

 

Presto: No, just…no

 

Billardo: *readies his whip*

 

Presto: Meh, this is getting old fast. Quit speaking 5 billion lines and start fighting

 

Billardo: *rushes at Presto, slams his whip into him*

 

Presto: Ow! That’s it…*transforms with his bracelet already, except it begins to malfunction* What?! URGH! IT WORKED BUT NOTHING SEEMS CORRECT!

 

Billardo: RAR! *strike*

 

Presto: x_x

 

Billardo: Now…to send you away…

 

Weird guy wearing a mask: Hold it right there!

 

Billardo: ?!

 

Weird guy wearing a mask: Because I have mad l337 skillz!

 

Billardo: Yeah…right

 

Weird guy wearing a mask: I pwnz0r j00

 

Billardo: *smacks the weird guy with his whip* Right, quiet you…

 

Weird guy wearing a mask: Ummm…uhh…well

 

Billardo: Say it, fool!

 

Weird guy wearing a mask: *just notices a button on Billardo’s clothing, presses* What the hell does this do?

 

Billardo: HEY! NOT THAT BUTTON!

 

CharStar: Hmmm…

 

Director: Put on some shades…this will be a great light show X)

 

(KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM! Just say the whole area gets engulfed in one hell of an explosion)

 

CharStar: That WASN’T a light show, stupid

 

Director: …Well, fine. It should’ve been something else

 

Weird guy wearing a mask: That was a joke…now where was I?

 

Presto: Hm? *notices the guy just disappear* Hey! Where the hell did you go?

 

(Did Presto go blind? Who the heck was that guy in the mask? Why is the director cursing at a 404 error? And when will the Director find some place SUITABLE to resume the plot? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek!)

 

Director: Just allow fillers =P

 

Staff: . . .

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 10: “WHAT HAS HE DONE?! AHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

(Presto is still standing where all the crap dealing with Billardo happened. Wonder whats on his mind…)

 

Presto: *thinking* (Wonder if he dropped his mask…)

 

(Pretty much he’s lost, so he wanders toward what looks like a pub)

 

Presto: (YES! A SPRITE! I NEED A SPRITE!)

 

Dude who looks like Mr. T: I PITY DA F00 WHO NEEDS A DRINK!

 

Presto: *notices the dude* What you say?

 

Dude who looks like Mr. T: I SAID I PITY DA F00 WHO NEEDS A DRINK!

 

Presto: But I need a drink damn you!

 

Dude who looks like Mr. T: Then you’ll have to get past me! AND NOBODY CAN BEAT M- *suddenly the mask the dude was wearing falls right off* E..

 

Presto: =P! Outta my way

 

Dude who LOOKED like Mr. T: *mumbles, then runs away*

 

Presto: YES! Now I can get my Sprite

 

(The former captain wanders right into the pub, but soon he notices whats going on o_o)

 

Vionate: THIS IS A HOLD UP! WE WANT ALL YOUR BEER! GOT THAT?!

 

Presto: o_O’ Okayyyyyy…

 

Vionate: What we don’t need is another idiot wandering in…

 

Presto: ! I want my sprite damn you!

 

Vionate: *burps* ITS ALL GONE SO WHAT’RE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, HUH?

 

Presto: *innocent look* No fairrrrrrrrrr!

 

Vionate: *assumes weird pose, pulls out an axe* I am Vionate Zomdamlastneighme. You killed my twinkie, prepare to die!

 

Presto:  Whatever o_O *pulls out his staff*

 

Everyone else: (Come on, pray that they get crushed by the ceiling. This is getting about as boring as a DBZ episode!)

 

Vionate: I’LL KILL YOU WITH MY AXE! *swings his axe at Presto*

 

Presto: *slowly warps back like he’s Akuma*

Vionate: …Curses!

 

Presto: o_o But I have l337 powa! *hit immediately by Vionate’s axe* OW!

 

Vionate: So you were saying?

 

Presto: Shut up =\ *slams his staff into Vionate’s stomach*

 

Vionate: *falls back a little* OW! OKAY THAT JUST HURTS!

 

(Suddenly the pub just falls silent all of a sudden…)

 

Vionate: Ugh, that’s it…!!

 

Presto: I wonder why you’re just standing there…

 

Vionate: *voice grows stronger* HELL HATH NO FURY AGAINST MY DESTRUCTION! HOMING…FISSIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

 

(Everyone gasps, as blasts begin to come out of Vionate…except…except…EXCEPT THEY AREN’T EVEN LEAVING HIS BODY!)

 

Vionate: WHAT?!

 

Presto: Hmmm

 

(Presto spots a basketball…right above his head on the wall o_o)

 

Presto: *jumps up* YARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

Vionate: *notices Presto* Eh? Dang it! These are homing in but can’t even travel far

 

Presto: *knocks the basketball off the wall, then looks like he’s about to slam dunk into Vionate* DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

 

Vionate: What?

 

Guy in the crowd: Weirdo dives in…with the SLAM!

 

(Insert ball hitting Vionate right in the head here)

 

Guy in the crowd: ITS GOOD! ITS GOOD! HE WINS THE GAMEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

Presto: Nani? O_o

 

Vionate: Man…that HURT! *falls over*

 

Presto: o_o Ummm…uhhh…anyone got a Sprite?

 

Everyone else except Vionate: DUH!

 

Presto: …Where?

 

(Insert mass facepalm and throw into vending machine here)

 

Presto: *hits the vending machine face first* Ow!

 

(Will Presto get his Sprite out before Yierheid falls into any further chaos? Or is he going to slack off some more for the sake of being an idiot? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek!)

 

Azly: Bryyyyyyyyyyy!

 

Director: What is it?

 

Some guy: Aw man, now he’s busy *presses “Sign Off” button*

 

 

 

 

Chapter 11: Operation: …I dunno

(The village idiot finally defeated Vionate, but now he’s finding it hard to just get a Sprite out of the 41^st century vending machine! Lets see what happens…)

 

Presto: *dashes at the vending machine, trying to press the button…but he crashes into it face-first* AGH!

 

Crowd: *laughing their heads off*

 

Presto: Grrr! *rushes at the vending machine again*

 

*SPLAT*

 

(Whoa, that’ll leave a mark)

 

Presto: *hits vending machine face-first again, slides right off*

 

Sound Effects Girl: That vending machine’s made of Teflon, stupid! >:D

 

Presto: =<

 

Director: =X

 

Presto: Screw it! I’m still going to try and get that Sprite! *rushes at the vending machine again, ready to kick it*

 

(Just take a wild guess on what happens =P)

 

Presto: *gets his foot stuck where the bottle is suppose to come out* HEY! NO FAIR! I can’t get my foot out!

 

Director: That wasn’t made of Teflon, huh?

 

Sound Effects Girl: Yep =X

 

SysISC Master: I put super glue all over it X)

 

Director: o_o’ Whew…

(Meanwhile…)

 

Billardo: Grrr…curse that lucky captain. If I just hit him correctly!

 

Natsume: Calm down master, its nothing to worry about.

ZK-336: Why was I rebuilt nearly 3,000 years later anyway? O_o

 

Billardo: Because i’m too lazy to get my own forces?

 

ZK-336: >:O *smacks Billardo with the scimitar*

 

Billardo: Its too bad I can’t be turned chibi, you foolish android!

 

ZK-336: =<

 

Natsume: So why is it that you called us here, anyway?

 

Mero: RAR! MERO SMASH! MERO CRUSH! ME- *silenced by Billardo’s superheated whip smacking him right in the face*

 

Billardo: Shut up, Mero. Anyhow…remember that idiotic captain that beat a few of you before?

 

ZK-336: Yes? ^_^’

 

Billardo: He’s still alive!

 

ZK-336: Aw =<

 

Natsume: Quiet! All you seemed good at was annoying and killing!

 

ZK-336: That’s what I was programmed to do! :D

 

Natsume: …

 

Mero: *yells so loud part of the ground cracks*

 

???: Just shut up, will ya?

 

Billardo: What the hell?

 

???: Let me take on Presto, dimwit…

 

Billardo: Who…the hell are you?! AND WHATS UP WITH THE STUPID SHIELD, HUH? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

 

???: Someone who can pwn you anyday of the week, now shut your mouth.

 

Billardo: o_o’ *shuts up*

 

???: Call me Captain Z! My shield and stupid suit of spandex should beat him badly!

 

Billardo: Right, right. And supposedly you come with heroic appeal which we don’t need around here?

 

???: *notices all the stars on him* Grrr…STFU!

 

Billardo: Fine…

 

???: Just allow me to take on Presto, you fools.

 

Natsume: I have no problem with that

 

ZK-336: You fail = I go after him! >:D

 

???: As you wish…

 

(Before Billardo gets to say one more thing, ??? just dashes off)

 

Billardo: Damn!

 

(Back at the blasted pub…)

 

Presto: Ugh…STUCK! *keeps pulling on his foot, his right foot falls right outta his shoe* AGH! *falls over*

 

Crowd: *continues to laugh their heads off*

 

Presto: No fair! NOW I CAN’T EVER GET MY SPRITE!

 

Captain Z: Hold it!

 

Presto: ?!

 

Captain Z: You aren’t harming that vending machine ANY further! I am Captain Z, defender of…*scratches head* what the hell was that place again?

 

Presto: …Riiiiiiightttttttttt

 

Captain Z: Screw that info! I’ve been sent to pwn you!

 

Presto: *innocent look* But that’s been happening for the past 30 days! Can’t I at least get a break?

 

Captain Z: *mumbles* No! You die NOW!

 

(Fight bell goes off, for no reason)

 

Captain Z, Presto: WHAT THE HELL?!

 

(Somewhere else in the pub)

 

AOL: You got mail!

 

Pokemaster Ash: …Great I DON’T wanna know what this is about. *opens new mail*

 

AOL: You got pwned!

 

Pokemaster Ash: *after a bit* Oh…crap…

 

(Insert poofage here…but back to “that other scene”)

 

Captain Z: Charging ummm…Z! *charges at Presto with a Z around him*

 

Presto: *spins three times and falls over* x_x

 

Captain Z: Heh…just as I expected…

 

Presto: …Who said I was dead? >:D

 

Captain Z: What?! Presto! I thought you were dead!

 

Presto: Perhaps, but I couldn’t stay in my grave with the ghost of my craving for Sprite wandering around!

 

Captain Z: WTF?

 

Presto: *pulls his right arm back, weird purple glow comes from it* YARGGGGGHHHHWARGHHHHHHHH! *takes 5 damn seconds to move his fist, but he manages to punch Captain Z*

 

Captain Z: Ow! BARS AND SLICES! *throws his crappy shield at Presto*

 

Presto: *gets hit right in the head* Ow…damn it. Now I can’t think right!

 

Captain Z: Hahaha!

 

Presto: *fluffy bracelet starts glowing* Hmmm

 

Captain Z: *readies his shield* Prepare to bow to me, because I will pwn you!

 

Presto: *transforms* Not just yet =P

 

(Suddenly as Presto says that, time actually begins to slow down…what the heck might happen next?)

 

Captain Z: *pulls both of his hands back very slowly, and yells very slowly* SHIIIIIIIIIIINKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

 

Presto: *pulls both of his hands back very slowly, and yells very slowly* SHIIIIIIIIIIINKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

 

Captain Z: *pulls his hands in front of him, cups them* HAAAAAAADOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! *shoots off a beam at Presto*

 

Presto: *suddenly keeps his arms back, pulls out what looks like a twin buster rifle, jumps into the air and points it down at Captain Z* I’LL KILLLLLLLLLLLLLL  YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *fires off a beam from the rifle down at Captain Z*

Captain Z: BLARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *is hit, blasted back a few thousand feet, then is blown away very slowly* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

(Finally, time speeds back up…o_o)

 

Presto: Now I must get my Sprite! GET…MY…SPRITE!!! HAHAHA

 

???: Hello cutie *grabs Presto and drags him off*

 

Presto: ?! HEY! LEMME GO!!

 

(Who the hell dragged Presto off? What impact will this have on the plot? Was this purposeless? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek)

 

Director: *glares in his closet* …WHO THE HECK REPLACED ALL OF MY BLUE BATTLE GEAR WITH SAILOR VENUS OUTFITS?!

 

Everyone else: *stays quiet*

 

 

 

 

Chapter 12: TWO PRESTOS? HOW MUCH MORE CAN WE TAKE?! AHHHHHHH!

 

(The captain gets dragged some more by the unknown person, who oddly resembles a certain android Presto owned weeks ago…)

 

Presto: Leggo!

 

???: Nue! =>

 

Presto: . . .

 

???: *snicker*

 

Presto: Quit stretching my arm!

 

???: Who said I would not stretch it? Anything to keep you from running ;_;

 

Presto: . . .Okayyyyyy

 

???: *anime vein*

 

Presto: What are you going to do?

 

???: *slaps Presto. VERY HARD*

 

*insert Presto spinning three times and falling over dead with the Graal death sound effect here, which is almost the same as the classic Zelda one but just a tad different*

 

Presto: x_x

 

ZK-336: *removes disguise* Much better

 

(The now KO’ed with a huge red bump on his left cheek gets dragged some more by the android. Eventually they reach what looks like a factory…)

 

ZK-336: Hm…looks like I got an idea alright

 

(Presto gets thrown right into a prison cell, which gets sealed up…)

 

ZK-336: Maybe if I copy him…*giggles* Then one of them can get chibified >:D

 

Director: Geez, 9 out of 10 people say this is boring!

 

Vash: No it isn’t!

 

CharStar: YOU LOSE!

 

Director: …Eh?

 

SFX Girl: *grins, goes into KN database, hits Copy Voice, heads to SF database, clicks on Bit and hits Paste Voice*

 

Director: HEY! CHANGE IT BACK! IT’S NOT FAIR THAT YOU GAVE ME TATE’S VOICE INSTEAD OF MY USUAL VOICE! RAR!

 

SFX Girl: XD *hits Save*

 

Director: ;_;

 

(Meanwhile…)

 

Staccato: *points at Natsume many times over* You will die, mortal!

 

Natsume: Lose the crappy blade and mask with a HUGE nose.

 

Staccato: It’s the last costume they had, now surrender!

 

Natsume: You and your 2,000 year old costumes…

 

Staccato: >:O

 

Natsume: GET OVER HERE!

 

Staccato: *slashes Natsume* No =P

 

Natsume: *anime vein*

 

Staccato: I am too much for you for I know the two…ummm, it isn’t fisted, that’s for sure.

 

Natsume: IDIOT! *stabs Staccato*

 

Staccato: Ow *stabs Natsume with the nose on his mask, stabs again after he nails her in the face*

 

Natsume: Hey! No fair!

 

Staccato: I wasn’t fair to begin with XO

 

Natsume: *kicks Staccato in the stomach* Neither was I

 

Staccato: *seems to be trying to pull something out of the ground* Wait! I know how to end this!

 

Natsume: What may that be?

 

Staccato: *pulls out a POW block* Hahahahaha!

 

Natsume: EEP! *runs away from Staccato*

 

Staccato: COME BACK HERE! *chases Staccato*

 

(The Tengu Man ripoff chases the Sabrina ripoff with the SMB2 ripped block for about 45 mins. Guess what happens at the end…)

 

Staccato: *nails Natsume with the POW block*

 

Natsume: Oh…crap! *goes flying about 30 feet into the air*

 

Staccato: *poses* Nuclear fusion within the POW block not included! >:D

 

(Back to where Presto is…deep within a prison cell)

 

Presto: Okay, this really sucks…now I need a plan.

 

(Suddenly an odd shadow that looks EXACTLY like Presto runs past the hall)

 

Presto: Oh geez…not this again! *pulls out something from his pack* Ummm…gogo GADGET LIGHTSABER!

 

(Because the captain said the wrong thing and his bracelet didn’t activate, he just twirls around a lightsaber clumsily and slashes the door open, but cuts off half the ground he’s standing on as well)

 

Presto: O_o! Damn it…

 

???: Who goes there?

 

Presto: How about you get your own looks? *glares at ???*

 

???: I’m the real Presto

 

Presto: No, i’m the real Presto

 

???: I AM!

 

Presto: NO!

 

???: YES!

 

Presto: I’m damn Presto yes i’m the real Presto all you other damn Prestos are just imitatin’ so won’t the real Presto please stand up, please stand up, please stand up.

 

???: That’s old *pulls out staff*

 

Presto: Fine, lets get ready to see who’s the real deal…*pulls out staff*

 

???: *hits Presto over the head with his staff*

 

Presto: *stabs ??? with his staff* Erm… *hits ??? over the head with his staff as well*

 

???: Ow ow ow!

 

Presto: *notices a blue residue on his staff* Eh? Heh

 

???: No fair! You’re faster than me!

 

Presto: *bracelet glows, his nails become twice as long* Well, we’ll see who’s real right around…

 

???: *bracelet glows, his nails also become twice as long* NOW!

 

Presto: *rushes at ???* RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

???: *rushes at Presto* ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

Director: Who came up with this cheesy- HEY! Someone return my voice back to normal! Pwease? Pwetty Pwease?

 

SFX Girl: XD Looks like changing his voice already screwed up how he talks.

 

(The two Prestos rush at each other with their nails out, they then take into the air and seem to drive their nails into each other…)

 

???: Urgh…

 

Presto: =P

 

???: No fair…why do you have red blood and not me?

 

Presto: *holds up a bottle of red food coloring* Because you suck

 

???: I’ll kill you!

 

Presto: *demented voice* THE BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED!

 

???: . . .Okayyyyyy

 

Presto: Wait…the bomb? OH CRAP! *runs*

 

(Insert NUCLEAR *sic* EXPLOSION here)

 

Presto: …Phew, I managed to get outta there alive…

 

ZK-336: ;_; I didn’t get to have a chibi! No fair! I wanna get even with my sis

 

Presto: Quit making me pity you, stupid android

 

Some guy spying on Presto and ZK-336: *insert Chewbacca sound here*

 

Presto: Anyhow *wanders off*

 

(The stupid captain got out alive, but what innate screwiness is going to come next? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek. Where weirdness reigns supreme)

 

Fury: WHERE’S MY SUNDAY PANTS?

 

Guy at Counter: Where’s my pants, anyway?

 

Fury: I HAVE THEM!

 

Guy at Counter: *mugs Fury and steals his pants back*

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 13: Presto loses it. His mind, anyway =P *blammed*

 

(Presto continues wandering aimlessly, apparently without a clue on where to head next…)

 

Presto: Whew…tired as usual…

 

(Suddenly…before Presto can even take another step forward…guess what happens)

 

Natsume: Hah! So we meet again, stupid captain *pulls out a pair of guns*

 

Presto: Hmmm…I already got an evil idea if you can’t get out of the way

 

Natsume: *begins shooting at Presto*

 

Presto: OW OW OW! *uses his bracelet* This’ll be a quick battle *suddenly is wearing a green hat and robes*

 

Natsume: WHAT THE HELL?

 

Presto: Hehehe *holds his hands up, charges up, chucks a fireball at Natsume*

 

Natsume: …Stupid captain *kicks Presto in the face*

 

Presto: …

 

Natsume: *eyes glow blue*

 

Director: …Okay, who the hell is stealing my attack?

 

Staff: …Not saying anything! =X

 

Director: …=X

 

Natsume: MINDSHATTER!

 

Presto: !! WARGH!

 

Director: *writes out lawsuit*

 

Judge: REJECTED!

 

Director: *holds both of his middle fingers at the judge’s direction*

 

Judge: . . .*takes middle fingers, sells on Ebay*

 

(The captain is still down, apparently unconscious…)

 

Director: THAT’S IT! ITS BAKA TIME!

 

Judge: What?!

 

Director: *blams the Judge with a Baka sign* No, this kind

 

Judge: x_x

 

Ave: MINE!

 

(Erm…back to Presto…suddenly a weird bunch of crap occurs in his brain. Insert entry here.)

 

Bakahenshin: Great, a talking car…

 

Optoemusspryme: DON’T DARE DISRESPECT MY AUTHORITAY F00!

 

Presto: Yeah, and whats the big deal about it?

 

Bakahenshin: Its mine, f00!

 

Kuigi: You can’t beat me f00!

 

Presto: I pity da f00 who wants that car.

 

Optoemusspryme: I’M NOT A CAR F00 I’M A SEMITRUCK!

 

Braniwood: Join the Eh-Team f00!

 

Presto: …Enough of this f00 talk.

 

Kuigi: But it = the win, f00!

 

Presto: *anime vein*…

 

(Just say the stupid captain loses it…and slashes the three with his nails, and repeats the process three more times)

 

Presto: Cross Slash >=P

 

???: Over here, stupid captain!

 

Kuigi: Agh! NOT BATTLE CHIPS!

 

Braniwood: You know what you doing =P

 

Bakahenshin: DRAGON SLA-…wait, what did I say?

 

Braniwood: Just shut up and follow up attacks…

 

Presto: Die! *jumps PA and attacks multiple times, the other idiots follow up*

 

(Insert points going off the chart here)

 

Announcer: ULTRAAAAA COMBOOOOOOOO!

 

Presto: YES! WE WON- *interrupted by what appears to be laser shots*

 

(Insert points going off the chart again and many explosions here)

 

Announcer: ULTRAA COMBOOOOOOO!

 

Captain Z: YES! You can’t beat my Z-Wing *interrupted by a meteor shower*

 

(o_o Insert points going off the chart yet again and many blams here)

 

Announcer: ULTRAAAAAA CO- *coughs, hacks, and wheezes, then runs off to get a sore throat lozenge*

 

Captain Z: x_x

 

Presto: Okay…that was weird. Can someone explain all the dumb outfits?

 

Optoemusspryme: BEHOLD MY MIGHTY STUPIDITY!

 

Presto: o_o

 

(Presto gets warped all of a sudden…into a classroom? Okay, bad mockery burns, Director.)

 

Director: QUIET YOU I RAN OUTTA IDEAS!

 

Narrator: *pulls back hand, which suddenly becomes larger than him…then swings it into the Director very slowly*

 

Director: *blocks with sword, counterattacks*

 

Narrator: *goes flying back into his chair*

 

Director: Minna…minute kure!

 

SFX Girl: No => *pwns*

 

Director: …First the voice and now the form. WHAT DO YA WANT FROM ME? I’M JUST MADE OF CRAZINESS!

(Insert sound of rope being pulled and Director falling here)

 

Director: NO! THIS ISN’T FAIRRRRRRRRRRRRR *turns into a star* I didn’t even get my cheetos!

 

(Ahem…anyhow)

 

Presto: Okay…this is just dumb! Lemme out *gets a paper with a F shoved in his face*

 

Some dude: You failed again, idiot!

 

Presto: …*pulls hair out, crappy stuff in his brain finally stops*

 

(Presto finally gets up, of course he didn’t know much even happened)

 

Presto: x_x What happened?

 

???: DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! *shot*

 

Presto: Erm…

 

(As Presto is STILL lost, what the heck is going to expect him? Find out on the next screwy episode of Star Frek. Now with 100% more Bit and 50% less pwnage)

 

SFX Girl: *switches the two around* >:D

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 14: Infiltration of Blahrs. Yes, I know that name sucks.

 

(The stupid captain seems to finally be figuring out where the hell to go. Though right now he’s in a village somewhere.)

 

Villager: Welcome to Akanea!

 

Presto: Shut up!

 

Villager: Welcome to Akanea!

 

Presto: Shut up!

 

Villager: Welcome to Akanea!

 

Presto: Shut up!

 

Director: Ummm…WRONG world. Who screwed up the script?

 

Some random staff member: Wasn’t me!

 

Director: …The setting’s Yierheid, not Akanea. *facepalm*

 

Some random staff member: Fine…now leave me be…

 

(*coughs* Anyhow…)

 

Presto: Okay, look. Where the hell is the castle Blahrs?

 

Villager: Blairs?

 

Presto: BLAHRS!

 

Villager: Meh…its north of here.

 

Presto: …Aye, more annoying stepping to do…

 

(The pissed off captain begins his trip north, which seems to appear endless)

 

Presto: RARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

Bardain: …

 

Presto: RARRRRRRR! I TELL YA! RARRRRRR!

 

Bardain: Okayyyyyy…

 

Presto: Outta my way, damn it!

 

Bardain: …*pulls out huge spear, FE3 Hardin battle music plays*

 

Presto: Dude *pulls out staff* You wanna go THAT way?

 

Bardain: *eyes turn red, reveals mohawk, voice changes* Of course…mwhahahaha

 

Presto: =\ *blams Bardain, a glowing dark orb blasts him away*

 

Bardain: Foolish child…you are no match for my powers. Besides, you can’t hit me with this around.

 

Presto: …Man this is getting screwy

 

Bardain: *slams his huge spear into Presto*

 

Presto: Agh!

 

Bardain: Yes! You will die right here! HAHAHA!

 

Presto: This is a cheesy battle. Can someone get the director on my bite-sized cell phone?

 

(The staff nods in disagreement)

 

Presto: Man…you guys suck! *tries whamming Bardain again but gets blasted back*

 

Bardain: BWHAHAHA…HAHAHAHA!

 

Director: *looks for the Shut Up Button, presses*

 

Bardain: HAHA- *shuts up*

 

Presto:  Phew, now it isn’t so annoying to deal with this laughing idiot. Hmmm…

 

Bardain: *stabs Presto again and again and again*

 

Presto: OW OW OW OW! Geezus cripes! Why the hell do I gotta fight this jerk?

 

Bardain: *grins*

 

Presto: ! The orb cracked *whams it with his staff…insert weird flashy effect here*

 

(After the blinding light is gone, Bardain strangely looks different, and Presto’s fluffy bracelet must’ve kicked in. Seriously…he looks WEIRD right now)

 

Presto: Who’s laughing now? =P

 

Bardain: I’m not amazed by your stupid look, foolish captain…

 

Presto: Mweep! *readies himself*

 

Bardain: Man, can’t this twerp die already?

 

Presto: Shut up *pulls out a sword*

 

Bardain: So what’re you going to do next, hm? *smashes Presto with his gigantic hand*

 

Presto: Ow! You’ll soon find out *sword grows in size*

 

Bardain: *fires off a great big beam that’s purple off at Presto*

 

Presto: …Man, screw this. I got a sword the size of New Zealand and I can’t slice through that?

 

Bardain: You can’t defend…gahahaha!

 

Presto: *eyes sharpen* We’ll see about that…

 

Bardain: *snickers*

 

Presto: *pierces the blast with the huge sword* BLACKSMASH WAVE!

 

Bardain: ?!

 

(The sword sends off a dirty blast of wind at the blast and blows it back at Bardain…why debris with the wind? I dunno. Ask me later.)

 

Bardain: OW! SHRAPNEL!

 

Presto: That’s why you shouldn’t have an AOL logo on your head!

 

Bardain: Shut up, you piece of crap. I will crush you!

 

Presto: Then whats up with all the explosions coming outta you, hmm?

 

Bardain: I WILL CRUSH Y- *completely blown up*

 

Presto: *grabs the crappy yin-yang piece on the ground* YES! I WON!

 

(Then a crystal falls on Presto)

 

Presto: OOF! HEY! WHAT THE HELL WAS THE MEANING OF THAT?! *keeps talking even though the narrator interrupts*

 

(As Presto mumbles obscenities for a crystal falling on him, you just have to wonder what the heck awaits him next. Swiss Cheese? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek)

 

CharStar: NO FAIR I NEED MORE OF A ROLE!

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 15: Crackle! Zip! Fizzle!

Behold the mighty staff…

 

(After Presto FINALLY gets the crystal off him, 7 more crystals land on his head)

 

Presto: OW OW OW! Geezus…what the hell’s going on here?

 

(All that Presto can hear is silence)

 

Presto: Hello? HELLOOOOOOOOOO?! This sux0rs =<

 

???: Fwhahahaha…

 

(Insert funky Agahnim-warp sound here)

 

Mero: MERO SMASH! MERO WANT EAT!

 

Presto: …Okayyyyyy…this is getting stupid

 

Mero: *warps away*

 

Presto: -_- *follows the stupid Hulk/Ganon mix idiot*

 

(40 flights of stairs later…)

 

 

Presto: *pants* AGH! WHYYYYYY! WHY SO DAMN LONG! THIS IS ANNOYING I TELL YA! ANNOYING!

 

Director: Gahaha…I made this very long

 

Presto: Shut up! You still have a Tate voice anyway!

 

Director: …Gimmie a break >_<

 

Presto: Haha!

 

(The Director just pushes a button which knocks Presto further up the stairs)

 

Presto: WAHHHHH! *hits a wall, slides off* Ow…

 

Mero: MERO NOT IMPRESSED BY STUPID CAPTAIN!

 

Presto: Grrr…shut up!

 

Mero: MERO RARRRRRRRRR!

 

Presto: …Can I kill the person who made this guy now? *pulls out a bite sized cell phone* SERIOUSLY? PLEASE?!

 

Director: No

 

Presto: For cryin’ out loud who the hell made this Hulk/Agahnim mix?! I WANNA HURT ‘EM NOW!

 

Director: *presses button, Presto is trapped in a human-sized bottle of Sprite*

 

Presto: You’re not funny, Director =<

 

Mero: MERO SMASH! *smashes Presto back down the stairs*

 

Presto: BARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

(The stupid captain lands at the end of the stairs…)

 

Presto: *hits wall, pops out of bottle* NO FAIR! I made it all the way there then I fall all the way back down.

 

(The captain begins to go up the stairs once again…but looking like he isn’t going anywhere)

 

Presto: …Grrr…

 

(5 hours later…)

 

Presto: Show yourself, stupid Hulk wannabe!

 

Mero: *warps in* MERO WANT EAT!

 

Presto: RAR! *blams Mero on the head*

 

Mero: *grabs Presto and slams him on the ground six times*

 

Presto: OW OW OW! >_<

 

Mero: MERO EAT NOW!

 

Presto: …I don’t think so…

 

* Presto sets mode +o Presto

 

(Insert soccer game going on and a guy kicks the ball into the goal here…)

 

* Mero was kicked by Presto (GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!)

 

Presto: That was fast for a lame Hulk ripoff…

 

(The captain looks in front of him, his outfit suddenly looks more like a Star Trek mock outfit)

 

Presto: O_o YES! The jacket is unharmed! I own you all!

 

(Before Presto goes any further, a golden castle appears and the doors open right up. The eight crystals all bonk him on the head as they attach to the holes in the castle)

 

Presto: WHAT THE HECK? IS THIS BLAHRS?! Ow…

 

???: You’re not worthy of the Fundernet, silly captain.

 

Presto: What the hell are you saying to me, f00?

 

???: I can beat the hell outta you faster than anyone else you encountered =P

 

Presto: Did that idiot BN ranting dude PAY you to fight me?

 

???: Ummm…yes?

 

Presto: I’m gonna sue later, then…

 

(The mysterious figure disappears into the castle, leaving the words “BLATCH” behind. Presto begins to run until suddenly he realizes the fragments of a staff left behind by Mero)

 

Presto: Ooh ^_^ *picks up the pieces and assembles them*

 

(As soon as the stupid captain does this, his fluffy bracelet activates, then a bolt of lightning hits the staff, really zapping Presto and making the staff one piece once more)

 

Presto: O_o! Holy crap! Its permanently activated…

 

Presto’s brain: GO STUPID!

 

Presto: …Fine! *grabs staff, treats it like a broomstick and flies in* WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

(The stupid captain takes his trip into the castle of Blahrs. But what the hell’s going to happen next anyway? Why was there “BLATCH” left behind by the mysterious guy? Has Presto been driven mad by the staff? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek =P)

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 16: The Fundernet and “That Astoria poser girl android”

 

(Presto takes his first steps into the castle, only to notice a whole lot of slow crap going on…)

 

Presto: Damn! Even taking 1 step takes 5 seconds!

 

(Presto and any other objects traveling…are traveling so damn slow it makes the matrix effects look faster as well as OLD)

 

Presto: Toooooooooooo slowwwwwwwww…damn ittttttt I can’t evennnnnnnn talkkkkkkk myyyyyyyy usualllllllllllllll.

 

Mr. Blatch: Hah! You stupid captain! I have control over this floor of the castle…and its going .1K! HAHAHAHA!

 

Presto: Shuttttttt uppppppppppppp abouttttttttttt youuuuuurrrrrr Funderrrrrrrnettttttttt!

 

Mr. Blatch: No

 

Presto: *holds up his staff, a blast of lightning slowly hits it…suddenly the speed off the first floor goes up*

 

Mr. Blatch: NO! NO DAMN YOU!

 

Presto: Hahaha! You suck at slowing things down. One hit and its gone! =P

 

Mr. Blatch: …

 

Presto: See?

 

Mr. Blatch: That’s it! I’m gonna sick PhierMon.EeeExEee on you!

 

Presto: What the hell’s that?

 

Mr. Blatch: You’ll see, f00!

 

Presto: Impress me, damn you…

 

(The weirdo pulls back his thumb and the floor begins to shake, all of a sudden a HUGE mech pops out of the ground, flames everywhere on its body)

 

Mr. Blatch: Impressed now?

 

Presto: No, stupid. The battle didn’t even start yet.

 

Mr. Blatch: LET ME ALLOW YOU TO BURN IN HELL!

 

Presto: *readies his staff* =|

 

Mr. Blatch: Grrr…

 

Presto: Go ahead, sick it on me *innocent look*

 

Mr. Blatch: Phier! USE YOUR FLAMETHROWERS!

 

Presto: *gets hit by ‘em* NO! DO NOT LIGHT UP THE FIRE!

 

Director: YEAH! Light up the fire! …Can’t I ever get rid of this voice?

 

SFX Girl: Not until the end of the story =P

 

Director: >_<

 

Presto: *generates electricity through his staff* This is why its called the Thundercracker! *fires off a blast of electricity at EeeExEee*

 

PhierMon.EeeExEee: URGH!

 

Mr. Blatch: What?!

 

Presto: You aren’t any match, stupid =P

 

PhierMon.EeeExEee: Killing mode activated *fires off a few flaming rocks at Presto*

 

Presto: *catches on fire* Urgh! Need more Sprite!

 

(Just as Presto wishes for something, it comes true. He takes the bottle and POURS it on himself)

 

Presto: YES! SO FRESH AND CLEAN!

 

PhierMon.EeeExEee: …*fires some more*

 

Presto: *throws chess pieces at the weirdo*

 

PhierMon.EeeExEee: BARGH!

 

Presto: YES! FEEL THE POWER!

 

PhierMon.EeeExEee: *just punches Presto*

 

Presto: …X_x! *hits a wall*

 

Mr. Blatch: Gahahaha…you are no match for my slow wrath silly captain!

 

Presto: Trix are for kids

 

Mr. Blatch: WHAT?!

 

Presto: *grins, eyes light up as he gets a stupid look on his face*  BAKADZURA BEAM!

 

PhierMon.EeeExEee: *shocked look on face*

 

Presto: *fires off one weird looking eyelaser at EeeExEee*

 

Mr. Blatch: …Wait…what the heck is that

 

PhierMon.EeeExEee: *insert sparking here*

 

(The whole first floor seems to get caught in one…crazy as hell explosion. The captain stands all alone at the first floor…)

 

Presto: Next floor…tiredddddd

 

(As Presto walks slowly up to the next floor, what expects him? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek!)

 

ZK-336: ;_; I wanted to chase him! Wait! *chases Presto*

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 17: I am the weirdness…I am the poser. I…AM…BLARGHMAN!

 

(Presto heads up to the next floor, very slowly. Apparently there’s something that creeps him out about heading that far up with just one flight of stairs.)

 

Presto: Gah, all of that has actually managed to tire me out…

 

???: Hey! There he is!

 

Presto: …

 

???: ^_^ *glomp, holds scimitar to Presto’s neck* Give up or you will join me! =P

 

Presto: *falls*…Not again

 

ZK-336: Yes! Again! ^_^

 

Presto: …o_o  Your pants are your life, you know?

 

ZK-336: I don’t even WEAR pants. Should I force you to do the same?

 

Presto: Crap! I need to get outta this somehow…

 

ZK-336: This chibi scimitar is all too fun ^_^

 

Presto: Ummm…uhhh…

 

ZK-336: Well?

 

Presto: I refuse…

 

(Suddenly, a wall blows right open. Kirigami shows up with a small army, apparently all armed with maces. The leader grins as he glares at his “former employee”, so to speak.)

 

Kirigami: Well well well, if it isn’t the lame captain named Presto.

 

ZK-336: HEY! I got here first ;_;

 

Presto: TWO morons? This is getting old

 

ZK-336: MEANIE! =<

 

Presto: Hm? Well…

 

Kirigami: Why are you here, annoying little android?

 

ZK-336: I was going to go after him first!

 

Kirigami: I swear you just wish to be playmates.

 

Presto: Leave her alon- wait…did I just say? *gets the android off him*

 

(Meanwhile…)

 

Director: Who the HELL altered the script that I took months to plan out?

 

SFX Girl: XD!

 

Director: Whats so funny?

 

SFX Girl: XD XD XD XD

 

Director: …

 

SFX Girl: You didn’t sound angry at all thanks to that voice! >:D

 

Director: . . .

 

(Back to that scene…)

 

Kirigami: Hahaha! You seem to not get it. Billardo now has the ultimate weapon in his hands!

 

Presto: Yeah right, what is it?

 

Kirigami: RADIOACTIVE SPAM! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Presto: That’s already radioactive, stupid.

 

Kirigami: …ITS BEEN TWEAKED A LITTLE!

 

Presto: I’m unimpresssssssseeeeddddddddddddddddd!

 

ZK-336: I got here first, he’s mine!

Kirigami: MINE!

 

Presto: This is really beginning to sound wrong…

 

Kirigami: Screw this chatter! GET HIM!

 

Presto: *readies his staff* I swear you’ll be the one pulling back on your words after this, weirdo. o_O

 

(The captain jumps into the air, a grin filling his face as he glares at his minions.)

 

Presto: Die die die die die die *clubs the minions with his staff repeatedly*

 

(Meanwhile…)

 

Director: Whats that?

 

(The director manages to hear the phone ring, he picks it up.)

 

Director: Heya?

 

Azly: Bry!

 

Director: Azly-chan! Yay! *giggles*

 

Azly: Can you at least talk more when we’re on the phone next time?

 

Director: Okies!

 

Tez: Lemon Curry?

 

Azly: And whats all that noise going on?

 

Director: A lot of weird noise while filming something. Apparently its just the sounds of people getting beaten up on. Feh…too damn hot in here.

 

Azly: Heh

 

Director: Hate to bug you, but I gotta get going. Until we talk again.

 

Azly: =\ Glad to at least hear from you again

 

Director: Bye

 

Azly: Bye Bry

 

(End of phoning)

 

Presto: That took forever, Director!

 

Director: I have my business, damn it.

 

Kirigami: RAR! YOU WILL DIE!

 

Presto: *insert flames surrounding him here* Nooooo…I will power up to Zupur Zayin 5 billionnnnnnnnnnn!

 

(Insert too much flashiness here. In the end, Presto’s wearing some lame white jersey with the number 15 in blue on the back, and black jeans. Talk about weird…)

 

Kirigami: HAH! That was only enough power to act like a microwave.

 

Presto: We’ll see about that, shall we?

 

Kirigami: *rams into Presto, over, and over, and over*

 

Presto: Damn cheap twit. I know what to do! *instead of using his staff, he seems to be grasping on something*

 

Kirigami: Hm?

 

Presto: You’re so screwed. BEHOLD THE HOLY FLY SWATTER!

 

Kirigami: o_o’ That won’t do a thing to me! I can endlessly ram you because I am Shao Kahn and you can’t stop me!

 

Presto: How lame! XD *slams the fly swatter into Kirigami*

 

Kirigami: Ow!

 

Presto: *slams it into him again*

 

Kirigami: OW OW OW!

 

Presto: I am the weirdness…I am the poser…I…am…BLARGHMAN! *insert smash charging here*

 

Kirigami: This is un *gets hit by the fly swatter smash* fairrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! *turns into a star*

 

Presto: That…was nothing. Gimmie a break! I want some Sprite damn it!

 

ZK-336: *uses the distraction to get away*

 

Presto: Hey! Come back…*notices a path open to the next floor* …here. Who cares? Next floor!

 

(The impatient captain then gets on his staff and flies up to the next floor. What kind of weird as hell crap awaits? Is he going to end up covered in strawberries and topped with vanilla? Has the Director really lost it? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek.)

 

Nightshade: I’ll kill you all!

 

Kerisma: Righttttt…

 

Nightshade: SERIOUSLY!

 

Kerisma: *chops Nightshade’s left arm off*

 

 

Chapter 18: Beam Axe vs. Thundercracker. ZE SHOWDOWN! *shot*

 

(Presto flies all the way up to the next floor. Panting and everything, he spots a weird looking guy carrying a beam axe.)

 

Kerisma: Hah! I knew we would meet, stupid piece of 1995 junk!

 

Presto: I know its 4015, but I honestly don’t care *readies his staff*

 

Kerisma: Challenging me? When Feastcraft already has the ultimate weapon that can screw us all? You are quite a fool, Captain Presto.

 

Presto: Still blabbering like the other 500 billion. I’ll just tell you this. MY PANTS IS MY LIFE!

 

Kerisma: What a fool *swings at Presto, nails him right in the jersey*

 

Presto: OW!

 

Kerisma: Hmph, just as I expected.

 

Presto: *slams a book into Kerisma’s right shoulder* I’m not done yet! >:O

 

Kerisma: …Ow *hits Presto with the axe, grinning as he attempts to finish him off right away*

 

Presto: Yargh! That hurt but who said it was even over? =P

 

Kerisma: Hm?

 

Presto: Thundercracker Shot! *holds his staff in front of him, a huge ball of electricity just slams into Kerisma*

 

Kerisma: …*interrupted, jumps at Presto and slams his axe into his left foot* You shouldn’t have tried, idiot. Time to finish off the rest of the Exitprize, here and now.

 

Presto: What the hell is your problem, anyway?

 

Kerisma: I was the one who set that cheesecake up to destroy your ship. Aren’t you glad I happen to be here to kill you?

 

Presto: …What a lowlife *readies himself, grabs Kerisma* You should get a new damn life, because when i’m through with you, you’ll be done *flies into the air*

 

Kerisma: …

 

Presto: SPAM-GOKU-SPAMSU!

 

(The floor suddenly fades to black, spam cans begin barraging Kerisma as he’s unable to move, pelting him faster and faster as the attack continues. Finally the attack ends.)

 

Kerisma: …Hah

 

Presto: You still aren’t done?

 

Kerisma: *struggles to get out of the grip*

 

Presto: Nuh uh, you aren’t going anywhere. =P

 

(The stupid captain suplexes Kerisma, ending in an explosion of blood coming from the axe user. Except, somehow he’s still in one piece, just covered in a damn lot of blood.)

 

Announcer: HYPER COMBO FINISH!

 

Presto: Huh? Meh…he’s down. So much for that weirdo who took out my ship. Time to head up another floor…

 

(Presto notices the next floor finally leads to the top. What the heck’s awaiting there? Is the captain going to really get pwned or something? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek.)

 

Director: *on the phone* Can’t you see i’m very busy here? I need to resume this call.

 

Azly: Yeah! Quit interfering, we’re busy!

 

 

 

 

Chapter 19: The Exitprize meets the scrap yard. Okay, not really.

 

(The captain finally reaches the top, where everything seems rather quiet actually…)

 

Presto: Its too quiet…

 

(Then he spots a dinner plate on the ground, big enough for someone to stand on. The date on it reads…)

 

Presto: 1337? But…HOW?! How the hell did this get here? I swear there’s something up.

 

(He wanders around the top, just wondering why such an old dinner plate got here. Suddenly he hears someone run by him and grab him again.)

 

Presto: …! Get off me!

 

???: Hee hee- LOOK UP THERE!

 

Presto: *looks up*

 

???: *takes out a wand* This will easily work on you now!

 

Presto: …

 

ZK-336: Hee hee, hi!

 

Presto: Not again…

 

(Much to Presto’s luck, some weird ship flies above him and fires a shot. It just barely misses him as it blows part of the roof open.)

 

Presto: *goes wide eyed* HOW THE HELL?! IT’S THE EXITPRIZE!

 

(An evil voice comes from the cockpit…)

 

Billardo: I have you right where I need you, captainnnnnnnnn. Mwhahahahahahahahahahaha.

 

Presto: How low, its even worse than the damn dinner plate here…

 

Billardo: With this, now I can engulf you all in my massive barrage of killer waffles!

 

Presto: *clenches his fist* Its no use to even use that anyway. You helped kill off my crew. Now I won’t object to desecrating you.

 

Billardo: What a brat. Is that all you can do, chatter the day away?

 

Presto: Not really…

 

Billardo: Hah. Forget it. Go silly android. Finish this fool off while I go off and bury the rest of the world in killer waffles!

 

ZK-336: As you wish, master…

 

(Feastcraft and the rebuilt Exitprize fly off as the android now looks at Presto)

 

ZK-336: Hehe, looks like I finally get to finish you off!

 

Presto: I’ll end you. Just like thousands of years ago!

 

ZK-336: …! Captain…Presto…

 

Presto: What?

 

ZK-336: Please, don’t speak of that time. If I had that saber…you wouldn’t be standing now. That lucky person just managed to outmaneuver me.

 

Presto: …*readies his staff* Its time to end you and your 1337 originated self.

 

ZK-336: *readies scimitar* Sorry, but I think you need to start all over. And we could be having fun! ^_^

 

Presto: o_o’ You don’t EVER seem to change.

 

ZK-336: *kicks Presto* Of course!

 

Presto: Aye *slams his staff into the android* Just learn to leave me alone, dang it! I refuse to have fun with someone by the likes of you.

 

ZK-336: *slaps Presto with the wand* Its because I never have someone my age, huh? You’re too olddddddddddd.

 

Presto: o_o’ *kicks ZK-336*

 

ZK-336: …I’ll kill you.

 

Presto: Thundercracker Shot! *fires off a ball of electricity that hits the android as she slices his jersey off with her scimitar, however it never makes actual contact with his body so Presto does not chibify*

 

ZK-336: *falls to the ground*…Already?…

 

Presto: You’re…about to blow up, aren’t you?

 

ZK-336: Just allow me to fall in peace…

 

Presto: *drinks some sprite* …

 

 

(Meanwhile…)

 

Director: …This is too much of a soap, at least in my eyes. Can I SERIOUSLY get my old voice back?

 

SFX Girl: Nue! =>

 

Director: Guess I will have to honest on how bad my voice has been. *calls*

 

(Back to the two…)

 

ZK-336: Ummm…Presto?

 

Presto: Yes?

 

ZK-336: I know this a dumb way for me to end, but can I have some?

 

Presto: This…Sprite?

 

ZK-336: Yes…^_^

 

Presto: *hands over the bottle* Alright, you can have it!

 

ZK-336: Yay!…Agh this hurts. *drinks the sprite, taps it with her wand*

 

Presto: Wait a sec, you’re an android. Why would you want THAT in your system?

 

ZK-336: Eh he? I just wanna figure out how weird it is. *has bottle taken back from her*

 

Presto: *drinks it*

 

ZK-336: Ummm…Presty! I kinda speckled some pretty dust in there.

 

Presto: So?

 

ZK-336: Poof! ^_^

 

Presto: Oh…crap *turns chibi* Chibi? >_<

 

ZK-336 Yay…!

 

Presto: Chibi…o_o

 

ZK-336: *plays with the now chibi Presto*

 

(A few minutes later…)

 

ZK-336: …Damn it, i’m about to die again.

 

Presto: *notices all the paint on his face, returns to normal* I understand now, you’re defective aren’t you?

 

ZK-336: What else did ya expect?! >_<

 

Presto: Listen, I won’t allow you to just die again. You deserve another chance.

 

ZK-336: Pwetty please? I need someone to be around! >_< Damn stupid Billardo just had to rebuild me for no reason!

 

Presto: Well, you sure have been advanced two millenniums…

 

ZK-336: Still…

 

Presto: Don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine.

 

(Oddly enough, the captain repairs the android and eventually flies off via staff, toward the rebuilt Exitprize. Apparently the android warps back there as if she’s still one of Billardo’s top fighters. How the hell will this end? Will Presto get his ship back? Find out on the surprisingly crammed episode of Star Frek.)

 

 

 

 

Chapter 20: Return to Exitprize! Fight the Killer Waffles!

 

(Presto flies to the Exitprize on his staff, as if it were a broomstick.)

 

Presto: This time, you’re on the losing end, Billardo Feastcraft…

 

(Meanwhile, right inside the ship…)

 

Billardo: How many more Killer Waffles do we have?

 

???: Enough to kill more than 2,000 cities sir.

 

Billardo: Perfect. They won’t know what hit them as it doesn’t hit hard. Mwhahahaha.

 

(Back outside the ship…)

 

Presto: Hah! They rebuilt this door poorly! *blasts it open with his staff* Time to fly innnnnnn. Don’t care if I look weirddddddddd! HELL YEAH!

 

(The captain seems shut up as his outfit ends up weird and he’s wearing a weird pink wig. Talk about trying to cosplay here…)

 

Director: …I lost it, mmkay?

 

SysISC Master: Looks Bry needs to suffer from yet another late night pwn.

 

Director: Hey! Don’t rub it in.

 

(Anyhow, Presto flies into the ship, almost no problem it appears. Until he runs into a few enemies.)

 

Presto: Okay, lets make this as violent and pointless as possible! *smacks one of the moblins in his way, insert a lot of gushing blood here*

 

Moblin 1: x_x

 

Presto: Take this! *takes out a lance and jams it through a few octoroks, insert excessive blood coming out here as well*

 

Octoroks: x_x

 

Presto: Perfect, now to move in on the main target *flies faster through the tunnel he’s in*

 

(Only about 300 feet away…)

 

Billardo: Curses! He got in! I’ll deal with him myself, you pilot this ship and continue deploying those waffles!

 

???: Yes sir!

 

(A few seconds later…)

 

Presto: *smashes through the wall* Its payback time, Feastcraft!

 

Billardo: What? Damn it! I thought I’d be having fun using these waffles all by myself. Hahaha… *readies his whip*

 

Presto: You don’t impress me at all. This time, you’re going down! *gets off his staff, picks it out of the air*

 

Billardo: So would you think, stupid captain. So you would think…

 

Presto: LET ME ALLOW YOU…TO BURN IN HELL!

 

Billardo: YEAH! LIGHT UP THE FIRE! *attacks Presto with the whip*

 

Presto: Owwah! *counterattacks by shooting electricity at Feastcraft*

 

Billardo: *gets hit* CURSES! Somehow that pierced my defenses… *swings his whip again*

 

Presto: *does a weird spinning dodge* w00t! Too fast for j00! *kicks Billardo, somehow misses*

 

Billardo: Must the final fight even seem like a stupid street fight? I’m unimpressed!

 

Presto: *pulls out SFC controller* Now you will! *starts pressing buttons*

 

(Within a matter of seconds various fireballs appear and fly at Billardo, ranging from Laser Storms to Sonic Booms, just too damn many projectiles overall. o_o)

 

Billardo: *jumps up and slams his whip into Presto’s head* Quite pathetic for an attempt to finish me off!

 

Presto: So you may think! *pulls out a sword and slashes Billardo, insert excessive blood here*

 

Billardo: Argh! Damn it, where’d you get that! And why is it larger than you?!

 

Presto: Because I own you, Feastcraft. I own everyone! BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T JOIN THE DARK SIDE OF THE PANTS!

 

Billardo: …Get ready to taste the wheel of Fortune, fool…

 

Presto: *starts yelling like a lunatic* This hand of mine is glowing fuchsia. It tells me to absolutely own you. *holds up his right hand, a heart appears on his right hand with “Poser of Hearts” written below it* Behold…because I am…with…stupid…and you can’t beat me at because I happen to be stupid! STUPID FINGER ZWORDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! *pulls back the huge sword of his, jumps up* PWNED…PWNED…PWNEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! *dives down and attacks Presto with his now fuchsia glowing sword*

 

Billardo: Wheel…of…FORTUNE! *unleashes his trademark spell on Presto*

 

(The spell and the sword manage to meet attack wise, both fighters trying to determine who’s stronger. But eventually all that happens is one gigantic explosion that manages to engulf both of them! After it clears, the captain is nowhere to be found, while Billardo stands there laughing.)

 

Billardo: HAHAHAHA! I knew he was no match. Now I can rule the world with my killer waffles! GAHAHAHAHA!

 

(Apparently Feastcraft is now the idiot. Why? Because about an hour later, a blue warp opens up, and look who comes out!)

 

Presto: Did you think I was done? I went on a long journey and now I can easily finish you off! >:D

 

Billardo: Damn it!

 

Presto: Hey, Feastcraft!

 

Billardo: What?!

 

Presto: I learned a trick back in that time frame, you want to know what it is?

 

Billardo: Hah, like it would work.

 

Presto: *throws a shuttlecock at Billardo*

 

(Insert game saying “It’s a One Hit KO!” here)

 

Billardo: Damn it! Who taught you that?

 

Director: Requested by phone. Can’t beat that! Ahem…*resumes talking*

 

Presto: Does it even matter? You’re suppose-

 

Billardo: No I don’t! I still can rule with my waffles!

 

Presto: *continues* to blow up-

Billardo: I CAN STILL FINISH YOU OFF!

 

Presto: *still continues* right around-

 

Billardo: Prepare to die!

 

Presto: *finishes* NOW!

 

Billardo: ?!

 

(A crowd begins chanting “ZEEKY BOOGY DOG!” in unison. The chanting continues until Billardo blows up like the good Gundam pilot poser he is.)

 

Presto: Phew, that was easy. Now…its time to find the switch to turn off the deployment of the Killer Waffles.

 

Bakahenshin: God! I haven’t gotten a line in years!

 

Director: ‘Cause you suck! =P

 

Bakahenshin: =<

 

Presto: Enough talk! Time to go! *rushes into the control room of the Exitprize*

 

(As Presto seeks to stamp out the mighty Killer Waffles launcher, and Billardo defeated, what the heck will Presto deal with once its all over? And where did that blue warp come from? Find out on the next episode of Star Frek.)

 

 

 

 

 

Epilogue: It’s not over yet!

 

Side-note: WHAT?!

 

(The captain enters the engine room to try and turn off the Killer Waffle launcher. But once he reaches there…guess what happens…)

 

Presto: What…the HELL?! IT’S A WAFFLE MONSTER OF SOME SORT!

 

???: Close the gate, stupid! SEAL IT!

 

Presto: Seal what? Oh screw you, whoever you are!

 

Monster: RAR! *chucks waffles at Presto*

 

Presto: AGH! *dies instantly*

 

(A sprite poofs next to Presto as soon as he collapses, and sprinkles dust on him. It revives him, but now…he’s a sprite XD!)

 

Presto: NOT AGAIN! >_< REVERTIOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Director: My move. Damn it…

 

Presto: *returns to normal* Genocide Cutterrrrrrrr!

 

(Presto runs up to the waffle monster and kicks it up twice, then kicks it back down once, apparently leaving it as a mess of sliced up waffles now…well at least that wasn’t so bad.)

 

Presto: Okay…phew. Now I have t- wait who turned it off already?

 

(The captain hears a familiar voice saying “I did!”)

 

Presto: You again? Tell me, do you have a blasted name? I do not like using numbers and weird model names.

 

ZK-336: Hm? Call me…Yustrie. =P

 

Presto: o_o’ Hey, wait. Are you sure you aren’t some other person in disguise?

 

Yustrie: I’m an android not a person! What’s wrong with you? =P

 

Presto: *shrug* Well, why don’t we just get out of Yierheid once and for all? I’m kinda sick of being here.

 

Yustrie: *paints Presto green* Okies! Lets get out of here then!

 

Presto: *notices the mirror, freaks out, but then takes the controls* Agreed, lets get the heck outta here.

 

Yustrie: Say, Presto…

 

Presto: What?

 

Yustrie: Mind if I be annoying to you? ^_^’

 

Presto: You’re just like that android I was reading about…

 

Yustrie: ?! Hey! Did you actually run into my-

 

Presto: Eh he. She said hi. =P

 

Yustrie: o_o’ *glomp*

 

Director: Was this even necessary? Oh forget it. *yells at someone’s direction* GET OFF THE PHONE, I STILL HAVE 42 PHONE CARDS LEFT; THAT AND MY VOICE IS BACK TO NORMAL!

 

Producer: …What? Too many cards, Bit. WAY too many for your own good.

 

Director: ^_^’

 

SysISC Master: I know! Get the pillow ready!

 

Director: Hey! Why me?

 

SFX Girl: Or you could just shove him in the closet =P

 

Director: I’m gonna need a new lawyer for this *sigh*

 

(Ahem, ignoring the interruption…)

 

Presto: Lets have fun! Hehehe!

 

Yustrie: Fly away? Awesome!

 

(The Exitprize finally takes off into space with the two inside. Oh what, did you expect an awesome ending with five billion people in the ship again? Hell no. Here…BLOOPER TIME!)

 

Presto: MY SWORD IS MY LIFE!

 

Director: Wrong line, stupid

 

 

CharStar: Hi! My Name Is (WHAT?) My Name Is (WHO?) My name is *fricka fricka* BEN DOVER!

 

 

Director: Pwetty Please? Else you’ll end up chibi!

 

SFX Girl: Did I accidentally copy the personality into him too?

 

SysISC Master: I guess. Well, there went Bry. =X

 

 

Undead Rattata: BRAINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

 

Presto: Eep! *runs away*

 

 

Villager: Welcome to Akanea!

 

Astoria: Perfect! Another fool to chase!

 

Presto: HEY! *runs away as many armed fighters chase Presto around*

 

 

Announcer: ULTRAAAAAA OVERKILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

 

 

Director: I HAVE 42 THOUSAND MORE CARDS TO USE!

 

Producer: …o_o’

 

 

Presto: Dang it! Why that jersey?

 

Director: Damn! Did I click on the wrong outfit?

 

Presto: …You saying you control me through a computer?

 

Director: I’m always low in some way. =P

 

 

Presto: Who was t- HEY! REVERT ME! PLEASE! PWRETTY PLEASEEEEEEE!

 

Adventurer: *glomps*

 

Presto: …Oh crap

 

 

Billardo: HAHAHAHA! I knew he was no match. Now I can rule the world with my killer…twinkies? Wait, who changed what I said. Now I can only say pants and twinkies. Damn pants.

 

Director: Controls are interesting, hahaha.

 

 

(ZE END! Wait…what?)

 

Director: Thanks for reading. Now don’t pwn me!