Kros Nights
Prologue: What the
hell is this?
Ya know, the name
is actually a funny play out of the FE4 army that Eltosian sends out against ya
in Chapter 3 of that game. Also, there are a few name plays in this story, just
be aware of that. And even though there's a plot, things will get incredibly
stupid and funny, or serious.
In the year AW
(After War) 1337, the town of Seika went under attack, and many of their best
soldiers fallen to some of the weirdest abilities possible. Now, the town's
military decided to look for probably the worst reinforcements ever!
The Kros Nights!
Their leader is Lord Altosean, along with his 3 idiots named Qlva, Ave, and
Ova.
What they look
like (and other characters, many won't be mentioned so look out):
Altosean: Odd
blonde hair, wears a white cape with black armor. Uses a sword to wipe the
floor with anyone that dares cross his path.
Qlva: Silver hair
in a ponytail, wears an outfit similar to Ranma-kun from Ranma 1/2. Turns into
a Chikorita when making contact with Maple Syrup (What the hell?)
Ave: Looks exactly
like Joey Wheeler from Yu-Gi-Oh if you ever saw it, except he has black hair,
wears the clothes Joey has in Duelist Kingdom, except he's wearing a necklace
with a board attached that has "BAKA" written out in gigantic as hell
letters. Uses freaky card abilities.
Ova: Really
strange guy, wears an odd vest of some sort. Has blue hair and can transform
into a fire truck. Fascinated with mechanical crap.
Megumi: A young
girl that's been known to be the voice actress of many anime characters in the
many animes going around Seika. Altosean also has a crush on her. She has brown
hair. Who said she fights? O_o
General Hikaru:
The odd guy who got "all his troops sold on E-bay" (literally).
Nobody knows his hair color, as he won't EVER take off that helmet.
Director: This guy
actually represents me in a way, lol. You won't see much dialogue from him
though. Just note that he always destroys his opponents with lightning, fire,
or a sword attack. Has long red hair, blue tips, red armor
Douhan: The main
bad guy of this entire thing. He just doesn't make any sense; he's tried to
take over the city many times and finally succeeds using his devious "Mass
Auction on E-Bay attack". What kind of messed up crap will this guy do
NEXT?! Has one huge 'fro of black hair, wears a sky blue gi.
Prince Golferg:
Just a baka hentai, not much going for this bad guy. Hair color changes every
damn time he's seen.
The Kros Nights
soon plan to base themselves in town, where they plan to finally end this once
and for all ...well, either that or have some fun being total losers and/or
idiots XD
Lord Altosean
wanders into the town of Seika, snickering as he holds up his sword
Altosean:
"Well, c'mon Kros Nights, we gotta get ready and run into town. This sword
needs a little sharpening"
Ova: Transform
*turns into a fire truck * Transform *turns back into a guy* Transform *turns
into a fire truck again* Transform *turns into a guy again*
Ave: I summon the
Kamikaze Watermelon! *Watermelon hits Ova* Now shut up already!
Qlva: You two are
hopeless *smacks forehead*
Altosean: You
idiots!
Ave: *pulls out
the Baka sign and straps it to his chest*
You-geeeeeeee-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Altosean: *grabs
all three idiots and drags them into town* *sigh* How hopeless can this get?
Megumi: Heya!
Altosean: *_* Oh
my...god! Can we stay a little longer?!
Megumi: Sorry, I
gotta do my voice actress role in the next anime that's coming on TV. Hear my
voice then, k?
Altosean: Eh he
^_^
Qlva: Can you stop
it? You said we gotta head into town!
Altosean: Oh yeah,
that's right. Lets go Kros Nights!
Ova:
Hmm...Autoboats! Transform and row out!
Qlva:
D-cepticowns! Retreattttttttttt!
Ave: -_-'
Altosean: o_o
Hurry up! You know how long we're taking just to get to Seika?
Ave: One billion
years! And its just gonna get worse!
(Only God knows
how many hours later, they finally make it after slacking off a damn long time.
Will the Kros Nights finally learn who the hell is behind this, or are they
doomed to "be with stupid". Find out in the next chapter of Kros
Nights!)
Chapter 1: The
Idiots head to town
Alas, the
Eltosian-ripoff, the Ranma poser, the "Baka sign" man, and the fire
truck disgrace appear in town, 5 weeks behind schedule!
Altosean: You
slackers! See what you did!
Qlva: ...*dumps
maple syrup on himself* CHIKO!
Ave: Not again!
Ova: It always
happens, silly rabbit
Ave: Hey! I have
the Baka sign! It's a complement!
Qlva: Chiko Chiko!
(Enough sheesh!)
Altosean:
...*sighs, face in palm* This is lousy! Hurry the hell up!
Ova: Gah! That's
it *reveal what is suppose to be a ladder and whacks the crap outta Ave*
Altosean: LETS GO
IDIOTS!
Qlva: Chiko?
(Why?)
Altosean:
...*lights Qlva on fire* Revert already!
Qlva: *turns back
into a guy* Yesh! And I loved that maple syrup! XD
Altosean: O_o'
*slashes Qlva* Enough! We gotta go
Ave: Hey, Mr
Blondie! We're right in front of it
Altosean: Don't
tempt me to slice and dice you up, man!
Ova: ...Woohoo,
he's with stupid too!
Ave: Yay!
Qlva: YAY! WE ARE
THE STUPID KROS NIGHTS, WE DRINK SPAM AND EAT MILK EVERYDAY! NOT TO MENTION WE
SOLD OUR SOCIAL LIVES ON E-BAY AND OUR PERSONALITIES ARE IN SOME PAWN SHOP!
Ave: o_o'
Altosean: Shut up!
I can sense something *Lego truck passes by* Okay, that was nothing
Ave: Quit being so
serious and lets go!
Lego truck:
*retarded 8-bit music plays* Go go Loser rangers!
Altosean: UGH! DIE
STUPID LEGO TRUCK! K'NEX SWORD! *sword turns into a sword made of K'Nex, kicks
the Lego truck's ass to the floor*
Qlva: Aw man! More
sappy losers ruining our stupid fun XD
Ova: Your not
helping
???: Morondon!
Lamerdactyl! Triboringtops! Dull-Toothed Asshole! Modersaurus!
Altosean: Shut up
you idiots wearing spandex!
Morondon: What?
I'm wearing spandex?!
Ova: Hahahaha,
what losers! GET INTO SOME NEW STYLE YOU DIMWITS!
Qlva: Aw lets
destroy them already!
Ave: Yeah, your
speaking my language!
Altosean:
MISTLELIN! ATTACK! *sword turns into the demon sword Mistlelin* *slices up
Triboringtops* Take this!
Triboringtops:
Auch! My awesome spandex!
Ave: I summon the
Can of Whoopass! *Can of Whoopass emerges*
Modersaurus: AGH!
NOT THAT! NO! PUT IT AWAY!
Ave: *God-like
voice* CAN OF WHOOPASS, ATTACK MODERSAURUS!
Modersaurus: Argh!
*explodes* *funky blue meter appears, Loser Points head down to 6800*
Ova: *pulls out a
data chip, glares at Lamerdactyl* Data Chip! In! *stabs Lamerdactyl repeatedly
each time he says a phrase* Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out!
Lamerdactyl: AH
DON'T TOUCH ME THERE WILY! *explodes, Loser Points head down to 5,000*
Qvla: O_o' You
baka hentai!
Ave: *points to
Baka sign* I'm the baka around here!
Qvla: Ummm!
Roasted Chestnuts blast *throws chestnuts at Dull-Toothed Asshole, no effect*
Dull-Toothed
Asshole: *dumps Maple Syrup on Qvil*
Qvla: AGH! *turns
into a Chikorita, absorbs sunlight* CHIKORIIIIIII!! *Solar Beam*
Dull-Toothed
Asshole: AGH! *falls over, Lamer Points drop to 3,500*
Qvla: *reverts*
Loser Rangers:
Assemble! *lame as hell Zoid posers for mechs charge in, combine, the losers
wearing spandex jump up like they smoked too much weed, in FACT one of them
hits a flagpole*
Modersaurus: Auch!
*resumes jumping up*
As soon as this
occurs, the innate scrap metal pieces fuse together to form some nastily
powerful mobile suit poser with a pair of cannons and a huge saber. But its not
much at all
Loserzord:
*combined voice* Hah!
Altosean: What
pieces of crap is this? Kros Nights! Assemble! Mistlelin Attack!
Qvla: What the
hell?! My fists are going at mach 10 with punches attack!
Ave: I summon the
Zeeky H Bomb!
Ova: Transform
into fire truck and explode!
Altosean: Combined
together...KROS NIGHTS! ATTACK! DESECRATE! MAIM! KILL! DESTROY! GULLOTINE!
ELECTRIC CHAIR! H-BOMB! ARMAGEDDON!
Loser Rangers:
...What the hell?
Altosean:
*suddenly causes a gigantic comet to hit the megazord, which kills the loser
rangers*
*Loser Points go
down to 0*
*movie footage of
the world exploding appears*
Altosean: Wow! The
world's still here! Hooray!
Civilians: YOU
IDIOTS!
Ave: *points to
baka sign* That's me!!
(With the Loser
Rangers destroyed, and the town of Seika...looking like a confetti party to put
it lightly, what else will expect our Kros Nights? Find out in the next
chapter!!)
Chapter 2: New
Mobile Report Kros Nights: Endless Waltz (of stupidity)
After disposing of
the Loser Rangers with weirdo powers nobody will understand, Altosean, Qlva,
Ave, and Ova make their way toward hell- I mean, the outskirts of Seika,
because Seika looks like a confetti party =P
Altosean: Ugh,
spandex is scaring me. Bad mental images! Agh!
Qlva: I get what
ya mean, man. Now can ya quit reminding me?
Ave: Oh well, at
least we got our praise for being bakas
Ova: We're off to
see the Spammer, the wonderful Spammer of Hormel!
Ave: You got
Excel!
Altosean: Quit it,
your making me wanna walk up to Excel and give her a shower with my glorious
drool!
Qlva: o_o'
Ova: BEHOLD MY
MIGHTY HAND! *hand falls off* AGH! NO WONDER I HATE MECHANICAL HANDS!
Ave: ~_~ *grabs
it, reattaches it* Now can we get going now?!
Altosean:
Kawaiidouken! *shoots out a pink fireball from his arms, turns Qlva into a cute
looking girl* Whoops *turns Qlva back*
Qlva: Eep!
Ave: Dude, this is
a friggin desert is it?
Ova: Pretty damn
obvious Mr. Baka
Qlva: YOU SHALL
ALL BOW DOWN BEFORE US...AND THEN SMASH BANANA CREAM PIES INTO OUR FACES!
Altosean: Whoa!
Slow down, I'm sensing something
Ova: *weirdo hand
movements* I can see your futureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! *suddenly a Zaku explodes in
front of them*
(Crappy
English-French-German-English Translation out of a scary nightmare called
Babelfish commences)
Altosean: Produce
themselves which?
Qlva: Someone set
us upward from the bomb!
Ave: We receive
the signal.
Altosean: What?
Ave: The main
screen ignite themselves
*screen pops out
of nowhere*
Altosean: Its it!
Para Too: How do
you go from the gentlemen?
Para Too: All your
basis are belong to us!
Para Too: They are
on the way to destruction.
Altosean: What
so-called it?
Para Too: They do
not have luck settle your time to survive, hahahaha
(Translation ends
because for the love of god like anyone would want that much dialogue in so
much BS)
Altosean: My god,
what kind of idiot would drop a Zaku here anyway?
Qvla: I dunno, can
we move out already?
Ave: Ya! I haven't
even used all my cards yet, this baka has some more pride to pull
Ova: Ave, you
always have pride to pull
Para Too: Glad to
see you morons actually COME!
Altosean: Hmph!
Show me what you got!
Ova: *reveals a
dangerous weapon all of a sudden* Heh
Altosean:
Ooh... *hints quotations toward
director who popped outta nowhere*
Director: FIRE THE
"LASER"
*"laser"
rips through Para Too, leaving nothing left, until they learn it's a fake*
Ave: Aw man, and I
was gonna use my Black Eyed Peas Dragon
Altosean: o_o'
Ova:
Wheeeeeeeeeeee
Qvla: Gahahahaha,
w0000000000000t
Altosean: You
idiots, we gotta go after it!
Qvla: But wasn't
that it a man?
Ave: No! It was a
girl
Ova: BUT ITS
SYNTHETIC LOOKING!
Real Para Too:
*appears*
Altosean: Damn
twinkies! Reassemble!
Ova: *charges at
Para Too like an idiot* Dieeeeeeeee *rams repeatedly*
(10 hours
later...)
Ova: Damn it!
*body weight knocks down Para Too*
* Ova used
RECKLESS TACKLE
Ova: *so fat he
falls into a barrel* ARGH!
* Ova fell down
and got stuck!
Para Too:
Pathetic!
Ave: I summon
Black Eyed Peas Dragon!
* Ave summoned
BLACK EYED PEAS DRAGON!
* DIRECTOR used
CENSOR
Para Too: What the
*#@* is that?
* Enemy Para Too
used RANT!
Ave: Don't you go
**@&^*$# at me like that!
* Ave used
COUNTERRANT!
Para Too: Hey! Who
the $#!* turned censoring on?!
* Enemy Para Too's
attack continues
Ave: I have no
%#*$@&$ clue!
* Ave's attack
continues
Director: =>
Ave: Its all your
$@&&$@* fault!
* Ave used
COMPLAINT
Sound effects
girl: =>! *turns Director into Cham Cham*
* SOUND EFFECTS
GIRL turned DIRECTOR into CHAM CHAM!
Director: AH!
* DIRECTOR used
SCREAM
Sound effects
person: *glomp*
* SOUND EFFECT
PERSON used GLOMP!
Director: *gets
hauled away* ;_;
* DIRECTOR was
hauled away!
(Censorship turned
off)
Ave: NOW! BLACK
EYED PEAS DRAGON, ATTACK PARA TOOOOOOOOO!!
Ave: Black Eyed
Peas attack!
* BLACK EYED PEAS
DRAGON used BLACK EYED PEAS ATTACK!
Para Too:
Ahhhhhhh!!
* Enemy Para Too
fainted!
* Ave gained 9999
Idiot points!
* Ave went to
Idiot Level 666
* KROS NIGHTS
defeated PARA TOO
Para Too: Owwah!
KROS NIGHTS got $0
for winning! Sent some to HELL!
Altosean: Neato!
We got nothing!
Qvla: But I didn't
get to move! Wah!
*world gets
flooded in Qvla's tears*
Qvla:
*accidentally forms a Maple Syrup lake* CHIKO! =>
(After destroying
the area with a mighty flood of Maple Syrup, the Kros Nights literally got
themselves in a sticky situation! Where will they go next? How much more
stupidity will they wage? Find out on the next episode of Kros Nights!)
Chapter 3: Fall
In, Gundam!
(After Qvla
decided to be a total bastard and flood the whole goddamn area with Maple
Syrup, the cleanup crew had to clean it up, got stuck, wanted their money back,
and so they sued. The lawsuit took 5 billion millenniums so the world soon blew
up afterwards. Hence-)
Bit: Shutup
already! *kicks the narrator*
(After Altosean
and co. finally get all washed up, things were just going crazy in a nearby
city where two huge idiots were fighting)
Blowdom: This hand
of mine is burning fuchsia; it tells me that you suck! Here I go!
STUPIDDDDDDDDD FINGERRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Blar: *uses his
Nutipe powers to block the attack* Idiot!
Altosean: j00
k4|\|7 5P3ll! j00r gr4|\/||\/|4r 5|_|X!
Blar: |\|0 i7
d03|5\|'7, j00 s|_|C|<!
Blowdom: B3|-|0lD
|\/|Y |\/|IG|-|7Y |-|4|\|D!
Ave: EyE
5|_||\/||\/|0|\| 7|-|3 R0B07IC RIC|-|4RD 5I|\/||\/|0|\|5!
*leetspeak ends*
Blowdom: Ahhhhh!!
Blar: EVIL!
Ave: Robotic
Richard Simmons, attack with your Spandex!
*Blar and Blowdom
retreat*
Ave: We are the Kros Nights! We take your
soul and eat it for lunch! And we sell your remains on E-bay! Yeah Yeah!
Ova: *takes out
pom-poms and does a stupid dance, ending with yelling "YAY!"*
Altosean:
*facepalms* This isn't a cheerleader session
Qvla: *returns
from a while again* You got Mail! You got pictures! You got spam!
The other three in
unison: You got spam?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Director: Stupid
twinkies o_o *anime fall*
Altosean: Lets get
going! We've got to raid the nearest ice cream shop!
Qvla: Yippie! Can
I top Maple Syrup on mine?
Ova: AH! EVIL!
EVIL EVIL!
Ave: I've got the
Baka sign, and don't forget it! *winks*
Altosean: Charge!
(And so, our four
idiotic heroes go to the ice cream shop...and do something UNHEROIC!)
Altosean: This is
a stick up! In the name of the demon god Hazel! Hand over your precious ice
cream! For great justice! :D
Customers &
Employees: *run away*
(30 minutes
later...after this story gets 100 negative replies)
Qvla: Hahaha, that
was a blast
Ova: Damn it,
why'd you get a banana split?
Ave: Ah shaddap,
Mr. Baka sign over here's trying to eat his ice cream
Altosean: Shut up
while I think about Megumi as I eat away at this *starry eyes* Precious Ice
Creammmmmmmm!
Ave: Oh brother...
(Meanwhile...in a
Ryu statue gone bad, seeing as it's the New Leaning Tower of Piza)
Douhan: Grrr!
They've taken down all our precious twinkies! =<
Golferg: Ah get
over it, we have a...*overdramatic evil music plays* TRAP CARD!
General Hikaru:
Lemme outta here before I sell YOU on E-Bay!
Golferg: Hmmm
(Meanwhile, on
E-Bay.com)
General Hikaru:
HEY! Damn it! Now i'm on sale!
(Back to the evil
place...that was never mentioned because I'm way too lazy to bother)
Golferg: Urgh,
deploy the two idiots at once!
Douhan: Agreed,
someday we will crush them...gahahahaha
(Back at the Ice
Cream Shop, where the police have arrived)
Police: Put your
hands up! Your under arrest!
Altosean: No I'm
not!
Director:
*whistle, causes a Jeopardy board to appear*
Altosean: Its time
to play...KICK THE OTHER TEAM'S ASS JEOPARDY! CHOOSE A RANDOM THINGY HERE
BECAUSE THE DIRECTOR COULDN'T BE ASSED TO MENTION CATEGORIES!
Policeman 1: I'll
take I don't care for $100! Falcon...PUNCH!
*Idiotic Police
gain $100*
Qvla: Ow you
little...I'll take Random Crap for $500! *Kamikaze Watermelon crashes into
Policeman 1*
Policeman 1: x_x
*Kros Nights gain
$500*
Ave: And I'll take
Stupid Card Trick for $50,000! I summon the You Got Mail Magician!
You Got Mail
Magician: *AOL voice* You got mail!
Policeman 2: Uh
oh!
Ave: You Got Mail
Magician...attack with your Spam!!
Policeman 2: *dies
from too many bad E-Mails, Kros Nights gain $50,000*
Blar: I'll take
Nutipe for $34,000! Now taste my mightly Zahkoo's power! *tomahawk's Ova,
Idiotic Policemen gain $34,000*
Ova: I'll take
Paowerlehinc for $45,000! *Paowerlehincs with an 18-wheeler* Taste my mighty
wheels *runs over Blar, Kros Nights gain $34,000*
Blowdom: I'll take
I don't care for $35,000!
*dramatic music
starts playing*
Blowdom: This hand
of mine is burning fuchsia! It tells me to own you! Here I go...STUPIDDDDD FINGERRRRRRRRR!
*holds his Middle Finger out and smashes it into Altosean*
Altosean: Stupid G
Gundam maniac! Taste my wrath! I'll take overexaggerated attack for
$1,000,000,000 *glows eerily*
Altosean: *takes
30 minutes to power up*
(One episode
later...)
Altosean: *takes
30 minutes to power up*
(One episode
later...)
Altosean: *takes
30 minutes to power up*
(One episode
later...)
Altosean: *takes
30 minutes to power up*
(One episode
later...)
Altosean: *takes
30 minutes to power up*
(One episode
later...)
Altosean: *takes
30 minutes to power up*
(One episode
later...)
Altosean: *takes
30 minutes to power up*
(One episode
later...)
Altosean: *just
kicks Blowdom, pointless explosion engulfs him, Kros Nights gain
$1,000,000,000*
Qvla: o_o'
Blowdom: ~_~
*tries to use Pointless Attack for $1,000, punches all four of them repeatedly*
Altosean: I'll
take stupid attack for $4,000! Kros Nights...assemble!
*Kros Nights form
a circle of themselves*
Altosean:
Bakenteru Shuffle Alliance....FIST!
(Due to the fact
this story has no idea what Altosean is doing, all the attack is does send a
Royal Flush at Blowdom)
Altosean: ^_^'
Ummm...Gadouken! *chucks a pathetic fireball at Blowdom which sends him flying
into the background, Kros Nights gain $4,000*
Blowdom: But that
was cheatingggggggggg...*turns into a star*
Altosean: Now
since that's all over...lets go *pulls a rope*
(All of the Kros
Nights end up falling down it)
Qvla: Hmmm XD
Ave: *does a
stupid dance*
Ova: Geez, where
the hell are we, anyway?
Altosean: *glares
up* Isn't that where the Geneohbraker is?
Qvla: I dunno, i'm
just bored ;)
Ave: *yawns* Can
we just get in already?
Altosean: Alright
men, lets move in!
(After the Kros
Nights have ended up in "the middle of nowhere", what else is
expecting them? Find out on the next episode of Kros Nights. Moronical
Monsters)
Chapter 5: So, we
meet again, Mr. *shot*
(After our heroes
end up on E-B- I mean in the Geneohbraker's lair that nobody can explain except
the director who current is running from the sound effects girl who has the
pwnage stick...)
Altosean: Hm? Ack!
That thing looks like 20 year old Lay's Potato Chips!
Ave: It looks
stupider than my handwriting!
Qvla: Its spam I
tell you! We must sue Hormel now!
Ova: Move zig!
Four great justice!
Altosean:
Ummm...Ova, its FOR!
Ova: I don't care!
I speak Engbrish!
Qvla: Engbrish!
Engbrish! Engbrish!
Ave: *changes
outfits* Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun, WE DRINK ENGBRISH! WE EAT YOUR SOCKS!
AND THEN WE THROW YOU IN COKE! :D!
Altosean: Hey
Ave...
Ave: What?
Altosean: Your
wearing a cheerleading outfit, not to mention have pom-poms in your hands!
Ave: WHAT?!
AHHHHHHHHH! *panics as explosion engulfs him, returns to normal outfit*
Ova: Ummm...guys!
Can I pull out the Instant Pub can please?
Altosean: We got
no time! We must stop this pathetic excuse for legos!
Qvla: Quick! To
the Posermobile!
Altosean: No no
no! It's like this!
(Overdramatic
music starts playing...)
Altosean: DEROOOOOOOOO SHYNING
GUMDANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! *snaps fingers*
(Sudden piece of
junk that you would expect in some junkyard emerges from the ground)
Ova: Hey! This is
our ride! Lets head in
Qvla: ...No fair!
My ponytail will be all gooey!
Ave: Ah shaddap
Qvla, your ruining my style trying to pose as Joey Wheeler!
(Out in the
distance...)
Director: Argh!
Stop speeding Saf! *keeps trying to run away* Damn twinkies!
Sound effects
girl: => Slow down before I have to chuck this at you
Director: *curses*
Ah this sucks *gets hit* Hey! No fair!
Sound effects
girl: CCP! :D *glomp*
Director:
>_<
(Meanwhile, back
with our heroes...)
Altosean: *pilots
the foreign trash* Ack! What the heck is that?
Ova: What you say?
Ave: All your base
are belong to us!
Qvla: How are you
gentlemen!
Altosean: *anime
vein* YOU IDIOTS! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT MOVING?!
Ave: Ummm... *uses
crappy binoculars* AH CRAP!
Ova: It's the
Geneohbraker! QUICK LETS SUE HORMEL!
Qvla: Lets be
serious on this one o_o' RUN AWAY!
Ave: No way! Lets
define my sign and fight!
All the others in
unison: RIGHTO! *cockpit is destroyed*
Altosean: You got
mail Sword! Attack! *gigantic sword made out of envelopes as he slashes the
Geneohbraker*
Geneohbraker: Ow!
You slashed me you A-hole!
Qvla: *somehow
picks up James of Team Rocket from Pokemon* JAMESDOUKEN! *chucks James at the
Geneohbraker*
Ave: *pulls out
the card* I summon Bah the Winged Rock!
Geneohbraker: What
the hell?
Ave: Bah the
Winged Rock! Crash into the Geneohbraker!
Geneohbraker: Ow
my head! BAKA!
Ave: BAKA
PRIDEEEEEEEEEEEEE *holds up his sign*
Geneohbraker:
*blasts everyone with electricity*
Kros Nights in
Unison: AH IT BURNS! OUR TWINKIES OUR TWINKIES!
Ova: *pulls out a
beam javelin and stabs the Geneohbraker*
Geneohbraker: You
fools can't even scar me!
Altosean: Damn it!
We must Demivolve now!
Ova: What?
Altosean: We must
fuse to defeat this idiot! NOW! ASSEMBLE!!
Altosean:
MISTLELINNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! *beam shoots out of ring*
Qvla: MAPLE
SYRUPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! *beam shoots out of ring*
Ave:
YOUGEEEEEEEEEOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *beam shoots out of ring*
Ova:
TWASFOAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! *beam shoots out of ring*
Kros Nights: GO
TWINKIES!
Captain Twinkies:
By your powers combined I am Captain Twinkies! NOW I SHALL FUSE J00 ALL
TOGETHER!
(Kros Nights are
fused together...with the power of twinkies)
Kros Nights
Fusion: What the?! HEY WHY DO WE LOOK LIKE SAILOR MOON?!
Director: I hired
the wrong manga artist
Kros Nights
Fusion: DAMN YOU DIRECTOR! Ummm...uhhh
Geneohbraker:
*chucks brake pads at the fusion*
Kros Nights Fusion:
Grrr! Nights Atrocious Meditation! *sword fires off funky Z-shaped projectile
which crashes into the Geneohbraker*
Geneohbraker: o_o'
*engulfed in pointless explosions* Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
*turns into a star after going up too high*
Unfused Kros
Nights in Unison: We won! We won!
Altosean: So much
for this, lets head back to Seika
Ave: Yeah, I got
more people to own with my Yougeoh cards
Ova: How about my
Twasfoamers?
Qvla: How about
both?
Ova and Ave in
unison: HELL YES!
Altosean: Time for
the funky teleportation sequence
Altosean: Bling
Qvla: Bling
Ave: Bling
Ova: Bling!
*Kros Nights
somehow teleport away from the stupid saying of "Bling"*
(As our heroes
head back to the Maple Syrup engulfed town of Seika, what else will await them.
Find out on the next episode of Kros Nights, and yes kids there is no tomorrow!
Our director sold it on E-Bay after somehow reverting!)
Director: No I
didn't! Honestly, its someone else's idea!
(Door locks up
right in front of him where laughing is heard behind it)
Director: Gah!
Chapter 6:
"Meeting is such bitter bluntness..." "WRONG SAYING, STUPID!
._." "...Aw damn."
(Our idiot heroes
head back to the syrupy town of Seika with one heck of a lot of difficulty..)
Ova: This syrup is
too sticky!
Altosean: Stupid,
it's syrup! OF COURSE IT IS!
Qvla: I agree!
o_o'
Altosean: Shut up,
this is all your fault
Qvla: ;_;
Ave: I have an
idea! Why don't we make waffle boats? :O
Altosean: That
sounds stupid, but smart...it may just work...
Others: O_O WOW!
You did something that isn't baka!
Ave: YAY! ^_^'
(They make waffle
boats from god knows what...but hell, they stink...)
Qvla: Why do these
boats look pale?
Ova: And stink?
Ave: Because I
made them from limburger cheese and dishwashing liquid!
Others: YOU IDIOT!
*pass out from stink*
Ave: What? ...
(Um..Euh..the
stink..GOD IT BURNS *pass out*)
Saf: ._. Somebody
get the Narrator outta here.
Maemi: Okay.
PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHERS! *purple monkey dishwasher falls on Narrator, picks
him up, and drives off to a balloon hospital*
Saf: WTF?...
Maemi: There's a
lot of fresh air there '-';
Saf: Helium too,
stupid!
Maemi: ...oops.
(*comes back*
*squeaky voice* Now, as I wa--WTH!? WHAT CHANGED MY VOICE!?)
Maemi: Ehehe...
(HAPPY END!)
Altosean: Happy
End? What the hell is Happy End?
Saf: I dunno.
Bry: *puts on
Weird Al Yankovic - EBay for no reason*
Saf: Damnit,
change the song for great justice! *wrecks the stereo*
Bry: =< But--
Saf: ¬_¬
-END FILLER
CHAPTER.-
Chapter 7: You got
Mail! You got Pictures! You got...Cheese?! o_o
(After our heroes
really got themselves into something...that smells so bad it would most often
kill people, they begin to waste time on the outskirts)
Director: BUT MY
BOOMBOX! ITS WORSE THAN GALLAGHER AND HIS STUPID MALLET! *runs from him*
Gallagher: VOTE
FOR ME! WAIT, I'M ONE MONTH TOO LATE! DAMN!
(Ahem, anyhow!)
(Behind a shower
curtain thats HIGHLY censored)
Altosean: DAMN IT
AVE! NEXT TIME DON'T USE LIMBURGER CHEESE TO MAKE BOATS!
Ave: But I had
baka sign prideeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Qvla: With legs
wide opennnnnnnnnnnn! *high heeled shoe clocks Qvla smack in the forehead from
a window* Ow!
Megumi: You
pervert!
Altosean: o_o'
Wait! What are you doing here?!
*insert REAL bad,
blocked out by TV bars in fact because nobody wants to see the outcome of this
conversation, with their clothes finally on*
Ave: So much for
the Spam Magician Girl o_o
Ova: Dude...you
really were with stupid XD
Qvla: Can't we sue
Hormel alreadyyyyyyyyyy?
Altosean: That was
one bad makeover...
Ave: Indeed
Qvla: Hmmm XD
Ave: I'm as white
as #000000. #000000 is white right?
Altosean: *poofs
to normal* You idiot! Thats black!
Ave: Damn!
Ova: o_o' Aren't
we suppose to be doing something?
Qvla: At least
we're so fresh and clean :D
Altosean: Argh!
Incoming!
Ova: Incoming?
Where?
Qvla: Use your
eyes!
Altosean: Show us
the power of your eyes!
Ova: Behold my
mighty eyes! o_o'
Ave: The power of
evil compels you to use your eyes!
Qvla: *turns on
computer*
Computer: -=Ova
has items: Peanut Brain, no eyes=-
Altosean: >:O
Ova: I have eyes!
Meep!
Altosean:
Hm...this is a waste! Lets go, men!
Ave: We're with
stupiddddddddddddd and you can't stop ussssssssssss
Altosean: *blinks
as a blinding light engulfs the area*
Qvla: OW MY CUTE
LITTLE EYES!
Ave: Glad I got
the baka signnnnnnn!
Ova: *transforms
into a fire truck*
All: *return to
normal* Urgh! Reveal yourself!
Prince Golferg:
Whats that Baka on your sign mean?
Ave: It means I
have l337 powa! Now move it before I own you!
Altosean: Prince
Golferg! Its time we slaughter you
Prince Golferg:
Grr! Lemme alone i'm reading my Playboy!
Qvla: o_o''
Ave: Wow, now
thats a pervert for ya! Now can't we mash him down already?
Ova: Hand over
your *holds pinky over mouth* 1 millon dollars!
Prince Golferg:
~_~ *charges up funky beam, causes a Disco ball to appear over him*
Altosean: AGH!
SIXTIES SCUM!
Ave: Ummm...thats
Seventies scum XD
Altosean: Or
whatever..
Prince Golferg:
DISCO BALL ATTACK! *blasts away the Kros Nights*
Kros Nights:
Gargh! Our mouthwash!
Ave: I'm not going
down without a fight! I summon E-Bay the Auctioner!
Prince Golferg:
But its just a stupid E-Bay logo!
Ave: I don't think
so! E-Bay the Auctioner! Sell on E-Bay attack!!
Prince Golferg:
Nooooooo! *ends up on Ebay.com*
Ave: And thats a
wrap!
Altosean: Thats
it! Kawaiidouken! *tosses pink fireball at Ave*
Ave: AH! Evil!
Altosean: That
shows you to not follow my orders
Ave: But I beat
him, thats what matters right? ^_^'
Ova: Twasfoamers!
Moore than meats ze I!
Qvla: Oughtobawts
wage there battle too disstroy ze Evle Forcez of ze D-cepticowns!
Ova: Twasfoamers!
Rowbawts en dissguys!
Altosean: Ugh!
Enough! =<
Ave: But we just
got started! ;_;
Kros Nights: WE
WANT OUR TWINKIES!
Director: o_o'
*drops giant twinkies*
Kros Nights: HEY!
WHERE'S THE CREAM FILLING?!
(After the Kros
Nights fell for a really bad trick stolen off a Hostess commercial, whats in
for 'em now besides being with stupid and not to mention finding out who the
main villians are. Find out on the next episode of Kros Nights! Rowbawts en
Dissguys!)
Director: How many
anime sayings have we made fun of already?
Producer, Sound
Effects Girl, other staff people: *raise pwnage sticks at Director* It was your
idea!
Director: ^_^
*run*
Chapter 8:
I...HAVE...THE TOWER! *crushed*
(Due to losing the
last chapter's script, we had to put the narrator on temporary leave so this is
totally just screwed up)
Altosean: But that
twinkie was good! :D
Ave: Gimmie a
break! It didn't have any cream fillinggggggggggg ;_;
Ova:
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Qvla: Go home and
be a family man!
Altosean: But none
of us are family men!
Ave: *staples the
Baka sign on his chest again* Youuuuuuuuuuu-geeeeeeee-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ova: Damn it Ave,
must you ALWAYS have to yell that?
Ave: Well i'm not
the one wearing a fire truck for a body, now am I?
Ova: But i'm not
the one with the sign!
Altosean: Shut up
you two! *stands in front of the two and holds them back*
(Meanwhile...)
Douhan: Stupid Kros
Nights! They sold Golferg on E-Bay! *buys him for 5 billion krona*
E-Bay Auctioner:
SOLD TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER!
(5 days later...)
Prince Golferg:
Urgh! Wait how the HECK did you buy me with krona?
Douhan: I got the
'fro of power *runs off*
(Due to the fact
the next scene is absolutely terrible and a lot of screaming is going on, we do
not want you to see this)
Prince Golferg:
Damn it, won't my boss ever stop violating them?
Douhan: Shut up!
Can't you see i'm trying to have some fun?
Director: o_O
*kicks Douhan's entire scene outta here* Geez, my eyes just burn now
(Back to the Kros
Nights)
Altosean:
Hmmm...oddly why is the heck is this place so desolate?
Qvla: I got hungry
=>
Ave: No you didn't
O_o
Ova: *notices he
somehow got his water cannons bit off* OW MY GUNS!
Ave: What the
hell?
Qvla: *munches*
Ave: *snatches the
water cannons off* Dude, quit EATING
Qvla: But i'm
hungry
Ave: '-'
*reattaches, smacks Qvla around a bit with a trap card*
Qvla: OW! IT
BURNS! But its so tasty =>
Altosean: o_o'
Ummm, hey three stooges?
Ave, Qvla, and
Ova: Yes?
Altosean: GET INTO
FORMATION DAMN IT! I THOUGHT I SAW SOMETHING!
Ave: What the
heck?
Lehbuyeithan: YES!
I GET TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD! WAIT I'M NOT DRACULA!
Ova: o_o'
Qvla: Okay, how
did he get in here. I was just about to eat my bottle of maple syrup!
Altosean: Can it!
We gotta take it out!
Eyefret: Not so
fast!
Bahhahmutt:
Gahahahah, we have you surrounded!
Nights of ze
Rowned: WE HAVE l337 POWAAAAAAAAAA!!
Ave: Son of
a...there's no way we can defeat all of these! BUT MY BAKA SIGN SHALL GET US
ALL TO VICTORY!
Altosean: NO! ITS
ALL ABOUT THE SWORDS! J'AIMES LES EPEES!
Qvla: What? Damn!
Ova: Guess we
gotta hold them off, damn Phineall Phantahsee someinns!
Qvla: LAZER CLAW
ATTACK! *tries to scratch one of the someinns with his "claws"*
Bahhahmutt: OW!
CUT YOUR NAILS!
Qvla: No =>
Ave: *readies some
sort of stupid card nobody knows about*
Nights of ze
Rowned: ...Wha?
Ova: *reveals
crappy beam pistol and shoots at Eyefret* Die die die die die die =<
Bahhahmutt: Looks
like some crappy shots going at me
Lehbuyeithan:
*raises a tidal wave against the Kros Nights*
Ave: Not so fast!
Not when I reveal my *overdramatic music* Trap card!
Ave: SPAM CAN!
EMERGE!
(Spam Can
emerges...and takes the tidal wave all to itself for damage)
Altosean:
Gawd...these guys are too much. We need more help...somehow
(And suddenly the
air is filled with some real stupid music, that annoys everyone to insanity,
then stops)
*guy with red
hair, tattered suit, and Men In Black-esque shades as well as a guy wearing a
red outfit with green eyes and blonde hairwalks in*
Nolrex: Ph33r me!
*reveals FBI-ish badge*
Altosean: Great,
more idiots! Just what we need in our band of idiots to save the
worrlllllllllllldddddddddddddd
Mudau: Time to
take out the Duhble Zehtah Gumdan! *pulls out a Wahveraidur Bazooka*
Qvla: What the
heck? DAMN IT! WE'RE OBSOLETE!
Altosean: I just
had to hire more idiots to our "tribe"! Now what the hell are we
waiting for men! ASSEMBLE!
All: RIGHTO LORD!
Altosean: Sighco
Mu Attack! *all 6 glow eerily*
*insert funky
blast here*
All enemies: URGH!
WHAT THE HECK?!
Bahhahmutt: Hah!
I'm still alive *Flares everyone*
Mudau: Ow! *fires
his bazooka*
Nolrex: Hmph, this
can't be good *blades pop out of his gloves as he flies at Bahhahmutt* BLADE
ATTACK!
Bahhahmutt: Urgh,
stupid Zohid Pielet!
Ave: Not so fast,
i'm not even finished *pulls out a card which glows a gold color*
Bahhahmutt: AGH!
MY EYES!
Ave: Thats right!
Cower in fear to my baka sign! I summon Tyefer the Sky Paladin!
Bahhahmutt: o_o'
*odd paladin
wearing white armor on a pegasus appears, attack power starting out at 4000*
Ave: And to jolt
that up! I shall use l337 powa to increase the power of it by the amount of
your idiots owned! *power ends up going to 7000*
Bahhahmutt: YOU
STUPID MORTAL!
Ave: Yes! My baka
sign is being praised! Now Tyefer, Typhoon Slash attack!
Bahhahmutt: Agh!
I'm down but not out!
Altosean: Not for
long! 99 CENT SWORD ATTACK!
Bahhahmut:
*slashed by cheap sword* x_x
Altosean: Alas! We
win!
Nolrex: What!
Damn! My Rolex is not where its suppose to be
Mudau: That was
such a bad pun o_o
Ova: *holds up his
right hand* I...HAVE...THE TOWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
Qvla: *licks off
the Maple Syrup on the right hand* Chiko!
Altosean: If you
don't stop doing that i'm gonna force feed you Rare Candies!
Qvla: =<
Ave: Well so much
for that, who the hell's our next opponent? And who the hell are these two?
Nolrex: The name's
Nolrex, I was exiled from Narenthon while trying to stop Aye from attacking
Altosean: Hmmm, so
you are familiar
Mudau: I'm the
cool Nutipe that kicks a lot of ass. Because I did for the Twinkie! The
Twinkie! The tasty little twinkie!
Altosean: O_o NUE!
NOT ANOTHER AVE! AH! WHO ALTERED MY VOICE TO BE THAT OF A LITTLE GIRLS? CHANGE
IT BACK!
Sound Effects
Girl: '-'
Altosean: *voice
returns to normal* Anyhow, lets move out men!
Ave: Hey! Whats
that?!
Qvla: Looks tasty
:D
Altosean:
Errr...guys! Guys?! This looks not very good
(Gigantic
UFO...actually its more like a gigantic dining plate. WTF? begins to fly above
the Kros Nights)
Douhan: Hmph, I
have been examining you fools for too long. Soon you will eventually bow to me
as I have fun chopping you all up with my chainsaw
Altosean: Go away,
you...!
Ave: Hey! So your
the guy who stole my Ferrari!
Qvla: It only
costed 1 krona, silly Yougeeoh dualist!
Ave: yu kant spel.
yore grammr sux
Altosean: o_o'
Douhan:
Okayyyyyyyyy *flies away from excessive stupidity*
Mudau: So shove it
down your throat! Shove it down! Shove it down!
Ave: Yes! More
baka pride!
Altosean:
*facepalm* Oh brother...someone give me brain surgery o_o'
(As the Kros
Nights get larger in terms of proportion AND idiocy, what the hell is Douhan
gonna do? And why is he flying on a dining plate. Find out on the next episode
of Kros Nights, where selling your friend on E-Bay is perfectly legal)
Chapter 9: What
were ya expectin', the reaper?
(After Douhan got
away, he succeeded in taking over Seika, forcing many people that weren't
ALREADY killed by the syrup that stupid Qvla made to leave. Our heroes are
NOWHERE close to Seika, in fact this chapter they basically are out in the
middle of nowhere)
*setting changes*
(Meanwhile,
Karmel, a young man with blue hair wearing a mask, buys Hikaru off E-Bay as
they quickly try to get away...o_o)
Hikaru: Urgh,
Seika has been taken
Karmel: You need
not fear sir, we'll get out of this as soon as we can...
Megumi:
Karmel...>_<
Karmel: What is it
miss?
Megumi: Can't this
thing go any faster?! I rather be in Altosean's arms!
Karmel: Alright
then, time to knock the Maleeneeium Phalcun to the best of its abilities!
Karmel: *sudden
form change* Erp...this is a little embarassing...
Megumi: o_o'
Explain why he's like this, General?
Hikaru: Karmel is
basically two people in one body, and when one needs to gain control, the other
rests...until its needed
Megumi:
Interesting how he was a guy at one moment with a mask then a little girl at
the next moment without a mask
Karmel: Don't
worry about my funny look! We'll get outta here!
Megumi:
Alright...get us there to help him as soon as we can...
Karmel: Okay,
we'll get there ^_^ *form changes again* Ehm, my apologies miss. How I ended up
this way was ending up combining the Napoleon's Mark with the Fairy Bracelet.
Now it sure gave a strange reaction
(Meanwhile, back
to our idiots)
Altosean: How the
hell are we not getting anywhere? URGH!
Qvla: Don't blame
me! Blame Ave!
Ave: I'm with
stupidddddddddddddddddd
Mudau: Damn straighttttttttttttttt
Nolrex: Hm...this
is just getting stranger and stranger. We're in the middle of nowhere, no damn
food, no shelter, sand up to my stupid neck...ANY WAY THIS CAN GET WORSE?!
Ova: Quicksand?
Altosean: Urgh!
Don't dare speak of that
Qvla: *reverts*
Waterrrrrrrrrrrr...
Nolrex: About time
you reverted, silly hybrid
Ova:
Hmmm...TWASFOAM! *turns into a fire truck* Hop aboard...I think I can go much
faster than all of ya!
Nolrex: No thanks,
I got something more interesting *flies up into the air*
Everyone else:
Yeah
Altosean:
DEROOOOOOOOOOOOO SHYNING GUMDANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!
*piece of junk
rises*
Altosean: Lets go,
men!
Ova: Wait just a
sec...POWALINKKKKKKKKK!! *attachs his ladder into the piece of junk*
Ave: What the hell
are you trying to do, Mr. Fire Truck?
Ova: Make our trip
faster, using my cannons as rockets will do!
Qvla: Why don't we
combine all of our power?
Altosean: Damn
straight! MEN! USE ALL OUR POWER! *jams a Thunder Sword into the power core*
Qvla: *chucks a
projectile in*
Ave: Power Core
*raises card* I summon the Graceful Phoenix! Now keep it going with your Proton
Flare!
Altosean: LETS GO!
(The piece of junk
for transportation ends up blasting off at a ridiculously high speed that just
won't be understood until hell implodes...SOMEHOW XD)
Altosean: Damn it!
This thing is only going one mile per hour!
Ave: lmao!
Altosean: The U.S.
Postal Service ain't this slowwwwwwwwwwwwww...
Qvla: Ummm, its a
slugggggggg
Altosean: *whacks
Qvla* Aye, cut it out
(1 day later, when
things have went so slow its so laughable)
Ave:
Youuuuuuu-geeeeeeee-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Its time to D-D-D-D-D-Dual!
Qvla: ARGH! EVIL
WAKE UP CALL!
Altosean: Urgh!
Shut up Ave!
Karmel: Sir?
Altosean: Ack! Its
ze cursed one! But...Megumi! *_*
Megumi: Alto-san?
Altosean:
Megumi-chan *glomp*
Ave: Man, why am I
always in the dumps
Nolrex: We're
still missing some BS to get our crap some use
Mudau: Fufufu,
where's the crap to blow up?
???: COME 'ERE!!
Altosean: Wha?
Damn twinkies! We spat out so much crap from our mouths the director almost
forgot to add a fight!
Director: Sorry =P
Sound effects
girl: *grabs Director, insert pwn sound here*
Director: o_o'
Ave: Scorpion eh?
I summon Seizure Indusing Bob Barker!
Scorpion: Agh!
Ave: Seizure
Indusing Bob Barker! EXCESSIVE LIGHTS ATTACK!!
Scorpion: AH I
CAN'T SEE!!
Norlex: *puts on
stupid looking ring* I R ZE GUREEN LHANTUHRN! HRHRHRHR! *uses stupid green
chains to keep Scorpion restricted*
Mudau: o_O *hops
into Duhble Zehtah, slashes Scorpion multiple times*
Qvla: *fists go at
mach 10 and punches Scorpion*
Ova: *rams into
Scorpion*
Altosean: I
INVENTED SWORDS SWORD! *slashes Scorpion*
Scorpion: Argh!
*explode*
Altosean: I told
ya we'd win
Others: Yeah
right! You got mail!
Altosean: *notices
a mail bomb* EEP!
Ave: Aw man! So
much for our twinkies
Qvla: I wasn't
hungry anyway o_o'
Karmel: Miss, I
wish you well as you work on your next anime voice role
Megumi: Thanks
*escorted away with Hikaru*
Altosean: *jaw
drop* NO FAIR WHAT ABOUT ME?!
(After Altosean
stands there in shock, drooling over his precious...what the heck will our
local village idiots get into next? Find out on the next episode of Kros
Nights. Where Village Idiots and Idiots out of nowhere collide)
Chapter 10: I like
swords! Welcome to Corneria! I like swords! Welcome to Corneria! *shot at end*
(Our
twinkie-inducing idiots have finally reached the town of Neighmech, curious on
how to settle the situation about the famed "Draggin Balls". Karmel
joined them in their attempt to recruit one last baka)
Director: How
about my situation? I'm trying to get away from a modified Earth Emblem here!
*runs*
Altosean: Well
men, I wonder what to do now?
Karmel: Sir, I
dunno what to do
Qvla: Lets pull
out some Maple Syrup!
Ova: *facepalm*
Ave: Eye Challenge
j00 too a dual!
Karmel: I
challenge you to a pokemon match! *notices the only pokeballs he has are
plushies* D'oh!
Nolrex: *imagines
burning towns* Silly rabbi
Mudau: Kicks are
for trids!
Altosean: o_o
(An odd looking
man stands in front of a building somewhere)
Karmel: Excuse me
sir, do you know where the Draggin Balls are?
Odd looking man:
Not sure where they were drug to, whoever you are
Karmel: *odd
effect kicks in, transforms* The name's Karmel
Odd looking man:
O_o I see *runs off*
Karmel: Hey! Wait
=<
Altosean: A knight
that suddenly turns into a little girl eh?
Karmel: *reverts*
Sorry sir, blame it on a weird unknown disease
Odd looking man:
*stops for a sec* Call me Ben Dover
Qvla: o_o
Ave: Bend Over?
Others: ...
Ave: I don't say
i'm baka for nothing! >:O
Ova: Hmmm XD
(30 mins later on
the other side of town)
Altosean: Sir,
have you seen where the Draggin Balls are?
Civilian: Draggin
what?
Altosean: Draggin
Balls
Civilian: Who do
you think I am, some sort of pervert?
Altosean: Agh, so
much for asking that man...
Qvla: WE NEED THE
BALLS PLEASE!!
Ova: *kicks Qvla*
That sounds WRONG!
Ave: Damn straight
Karmel: o_o *kicks
too*
Nolrex: Hell, why
don't we ALL kick him?
Others except Ova:
ALRIGHT! *kicking spree insues*
* Ova was kicked
by KrosNights (Bad thoughts = Gang Up) {Kick No: 999999}
Director: YOU
TYRANT!!
Sound Effects
Girl: Wasn't my idea =>
Director: Ackies
*poof*
Roara: Hehehe
*disappears*
(Back to the
current situation)
Altosean:
Ahem...*heals up Ova* Thats enough for now
Mudau: Anyhow
Qvla: Look over
there!
Nolrex: Its a
bird!
Ova: Its a plane!
Ave and Mudau: Its
Suepahmahn!
Altosean: No...its
Super Saiyan...
Ova: Super Saiyan
what?
Altosean: Super
Saiyan...
Everyone: BOB
DOLE?!
SSJ Bob Dole: Bob
Dole needs his cash or this story is going to go downhill
Kamille: Damn
twinkies!
Qvla: I KNOW I
KNOW!
Altosean: What?
Qvla: *pulls out a
grenade* THIS SHALL DO THE TRICK!
Ova: *steals it*
Gimmie that!
Ova:
ONE...TWO...FIVE!!
Kamille: THREE
SIR!
Ova: THREE *pulls
pin, throws at SSJ Bob Dole*
*insert holy
sounds here*
SSJ Bob Dole:
*gets blown up slightly* But i'm still alive >:O
Kamille: Take this
you! *pulls out beam sword, slashes the politician*
Altosean: SHYNING
FINGARRRRRRRRRRR *smashes his middle finger in Bob Dole's eye*
Ova: o_o'
TWASFOAM! *turns into a fire truck, blasts him with water cannons*
Qvla: Hmmm XD
*gets turned into a Chikorita* AH! I'M EVOLVING! *turns into a Bayleef* BAY!
*Giga Drains Bob Dole*
Mudau: Agh! *fires
crappy shots from a beam pistol*
Nolrex:
Hmmm...*dark lightning hits behind him*
Nolrex: *puts on
Sephiroth costume* LOOKIE ME! I TRIED TO DESTROY THE WORLD BUT I'M A POSER!
*casts Fire 3 on Bob Dole, then returns to normal*
Kamille:
*transforms* Eepity!
Ave: He never
learns...ummm I SUMMON BILLY BLANKS' TAE-BO EXODUS!
Billy: Oh yeah!
Time to do some Tae-Bo!
SSJ Bob Dole: AH
IT BURNS!!
Scion: *throws
dagger at Bob*
SSJ Bob Dole:
YARGH! *dies off*
Scion: I got the
Draggin Balls!
Altosean: Lemme
see...
Ave: ...IT
STINKS!!
Ova: WHAT A WASTE
OF TIME, THOSE LOSERS!!
Nolrex: Its just
smelly puke from 50 years ago...geez
Kamille:
Eww...*hide* Whats that smell?
Scion: AH I CAN'T
SMELLLLL!!
Qvla: Eh?
Scion: What else
did you expect?
Ave: Do you know
the Art of Fighting?
Scion: I'M NOT
DAN!
Altosean: Meh,
lets go men! We got some work to do
(After
encountering a new poser, our band of idiots sets off toward the Corsican
Desert, where much stupidity awaits. What is this stupidity? Find out on the
next episode of Kros Nights: You got Mail!)
Roara: What mail?
*napalms the end of the chapter*
Chapter 11: Ze
Dour Tue Des10nee
(Our bakas head
toward the Corsican Plain, where that "Door of "I gotta sue the
Director for making me say this" Destiny" is)
Scion: Urgh...my
feet
Altosean: o_o'
Meh, faster damn it! We won't make it at this rate!
Ave: Gah! There's
Chocobo crap on my shoes!
Ova: THERE AREN'T
ANY CHOCOBOS HERE MR. BAKA! O_O
Ave: *holds up
sign* All about pride
Qvla: Bay!
Nolrex: What the
heck?
Mudau: My ears!
Scion: *Dr Evil
pose* ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
Altosean: Urgh,
sand is too thick, this sucks
Guy in red:
Argh...i've been badly hurt...
Altosean: ?
Guy in red:
Altosean, get revenge for you twinkies!
Altosean: MY
TWINKIES?! NOOOOOOO! I WAS ABOUT TO EAT THEM FOR LUNCH!
Others: ...
Director: WHAT THE
HELL?!
Other staff
people: Your plot got twisted =X
Director: Ackies!
=<
(Anyhow...)
Blunts: Hurry up
Rubella!
Rubella: Meh, stop
rushing me. If we must aid Douhan then slow down!
Blunts: *smokes*
Meh! Forget that, troops, lets get moving
*behind a cliff*
Altosean: Urgh! I
need my twinkies back!
Ave: So do I! One
of them has my Pinto!
Qvla: *turns back
to normal* I thought you said you had a Ferrari!
Ave: PINTO!
Qvla: FERRARI!
Ave: PINTO!
Qvla: FERRARI!
Nolrex: PORSCHE!
Mudau: BOEING!
Everyone else:
THATS NOT A CAR!
Mudau: What? Damn!
Ova: C'mon guys,
lets think of something!
Kamille: I wonder
what that may be, sir
Scion: Run them
over with those new Scion vehicles?
Altosean: MEH! Let
my Fire Emblem knowledge help you!
Ave: No! My
Yougeeooh! cards will do!
Ova: NO! TWASFOAM!
Qvla: Just make
'em trip!
(30 mins later)
Altosean: Feh,
stop arguing idiots! Lets make hoverboards disguised as Dragons!
Others: FINE!
=<
(And so, our bakas
finally work on the weird pathetic excuses for hoverboards!)
Altosean: Alright
men! Lets get ready!
Ave: What kind of
stupid crescent shaped stick is THAT?!
Altosean: BAKA!
THATS A NIGHT KILLER!
Mudau: Night what?
Kamille: Lets not
continue, those workers for Douhan are getting owned!
Ova: *throws a
Night Killer to everyone* There we go
Nolrex: Fools! We
have to wait until the sun sets to ambush them or these weapons won't work
Ave: ARGH! I wanted
to open the can of whoopass right now!
Others: ...
Scion: The sun is
setting...
Altosean: QUICK!
TO THE DRAGONMOBILES!
(All the Kros
Nights get on the stupid hoverboards)
Altosean: Lets go!
*flies after Blunts and Rubella*
Ave: Alright! I'll
use a familiar card to crush 'em *readies the Can of Whoopass card*
Everyone else: No
wonder he has the baka sign
Blunts: Argh! They
got here! Those twinkie lovers! Run!
Rubella: Why run?
They can't kill us here!
Altosean: Ph33r
our Night Killers, its Night time damn it!
Blunts: Errr...
Rubella: My Pinto!
I'll protect it no matter what!
Nolrex: RAR!
*stabs Rubella*
Ave: I summon the
Can of Whoopass!
Rubella: No! My
Pinto! *dies*
Altosean: *glares
at the crappy car* Put that twinkie box down or the Pinto gets it!
Blunts:
Grrr...This blows!
Altosean: Good, it
sucks NIGHT KILLER ATTACK! *whacks Blunts*
Blunts: Damn it!
Ni! Take good care of my crack! *dies*
Altosean: Okay
men, lets complete our task by raiding all the nearest stores and getting our
"junk food" :D
Others: YAY!
(And n- okay thats
it i'm going on a vacation! See ya!)
Director: Gr! Now
I gotta take the narrator role!
(And now our bakas
get their share of junk food, they now set off for a nice place to rest for
now. Where? Find out on the next episode of Kros Nights! *poof* Chibi!
>_<)
Camera Lady: :D It
worked! Yay!!
Roara: Aw geez...
Director: *reverts
after lights go out*
Kros Nights
Chapter 12. Also
known as Chapter Filler 2. Wait. That means 'Filler' is equal to 1! SWEET!
In This Chapter,
You'll Find:
* Who the randomly selected characters for
this Chapter are!
* The name of Bit's ultimate mock-attack!
Created by this Chapter's author, even!
* That Ave isn't really as stupid as he
looks! ...Or is he?
* That the Fourth Wall simply CANNOT exist
when Zain's around!
(Begin Chapter
Filler here. Play Connect-The-Dots. Whichever works for you is fine.)
Director:
"Uhm, hello." *taps microphone twice* "Is this thing on?
...Testing, one, two, three. Tes--" *feedback* "AUGH!" *jumps
away* "EVIL! DIE!!" *slashes the microphone in four with an unseen
weapon*
(random person
from offstage): "Just narrate the damn thing."
Director:
"I'm not the Narrator!"
(random person
from offstage): "You are for now. The usual Narrator refuses to work with
the guy who's authoring this Chapter."
Director: *puts
weapon away* "But the Kros Nights aren't here yet!"
(random person
from offstage): "...Narrate anyway!"
Director:
"Give me another reason."
(random person
from offstage): "FINE. You can use this random selection of four or five
people." *hands the narrator a list*
Director: *reads
list* "Oh. My. God."
(Later, after
filming the Chapter started... Wait. It's on tape?)
Director: "It
was a dark and stormy night-- wait. What the hell? I doubt the last Chapter
ended at nighttime! Besides, people would be SLEEPING!"
(random person
from offstage): "Just read the damn script!"
Director: "It
was a dark and stormy night, absent of light, and the Twinkies tasted just
right." *slams script down* "I AM SO NOT READING ANY MORE RHYMES! I
don't care WHAT they bribe me with! ...unless it's Cheetos."
Zain: *runs in*
"Delivery for a mister... uh... narrator-type person!"
Director:
"That would be me."
Zain: *hands the
'narrator' a very large box* "Here ya go!" *runs off*
Director: *starts
to open the box*
Box: *top
literally explodes off and out pops...*
X: *jumps out of
the box* "ZAKO!"
Director:
*sweatdrops* "Oh, Hell no... Anyone else in there?"
X:
"ZAKO!!" ^_^
Director: *looks
in...* "NO! MY ENTIRE U.P.S. SHIPMENT OF CHEETOS! YOU BAKA!"
Ave: *runs into
the room, grabs his Baka sign out of the props and duct tapes it to his chest,
then points to it* "I'm the baka around here!"
Director:
"There you are! Where've you been?!" <_<;
Ave:
"Uh....."
(Three hours
pass...)
Ave:
"Honestly, I forgot."
The Director, X,
and Zain (who's offscreen somewhere): *anime fall*
X:
"ZAKO!"
Ave: *jumps back*
"The hell?!"
Director:
"Don't ask."
Zain: *returns
with another bigass box* "Another delivery, mister narrator!" *runs
off*
X:
"ZAKO!!" *proceeds to jump on the box and manage to squeeze in
through a really small crack in the lid*
Director:
"Now's my chance!" *pulls out a giant rubber stamp, and stamps
'RETURN TO SENDER' onto the box* "ZAIN!!"
Zain: *enters*
"Yeah?" *sees box* "..Oh. Didn't want that? But that's from
Saf!"
Ave: *to Zain*
"Hey, didn't she author the last Chapter Filler?"
Zain: *to Ave*
"How the Hell should I know?"
Director:
"...God damnit, tough choice... Open box. Exile X. Open. Exile. Open.
Exile."
(The Director
spends ten minutes on the decision while every one else manages to keep
perfectly still.)
Director:
"...OPEN!" *tears into box, only to find that...* "NO! NOT
ANOTHER CHEETOS SHIPMENT LOST TO THAT FIEND!"
X:
"ZAKO!" ^_^
Director:
"Thou shalt no longer insult me with thy theft of my sacred Cheetos!"
*flings cloak off, revealing himself, and...*
Bit: "NEO X
BEAM CANNON SPECIAL EDITION THREE-AND-FIVE-QUARTERS PLUS TWO!!!" *fires*
X:
"ZAAHKOOOHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" *is promptly deleted from this text. In
other words, you never read anything relating to him.*
Bit: "...What
the hell am I doing? Why'd I just fire my Cannon at nobody in particular?"
Zain: "No
clue. But whatever happened, it involved the Cheetos that Saf sent you."
Bit: *looks into
both boxes* O_O; "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--"
(While Bit takes
his time screaming in agony, we listen to very nice elevator music. Then we go
to some parties. After that, we eat, crap, and take care of life's essentials.
It's all really nice. Until we return to what story we have. After about one
whole week, even.)
Bit:
"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *has a coughing fit*
Ave: "You
need to stop that. It could be murder on your voice."
Bit: "Aren't
you supposed to be the idiot of my story?"
Ave: *holds up
Baka sign* "AND PROUD OF IT!!" ^_^
Bit:
"....." *turns to Chiki, cries like crazy, then reverts* XP
Zain: "What'd
he do now?"
Bit: "I don't
know where I went wrong! Whatever I've done, he's gotten FAR
out-of-character!" *turns into Roll and bawls eyes out*
Zain: *bashes the
Fourth Wall down with some hammer* "I think I know what it is... You let
Espilan author this Chapter Filler... And since he typed it all up, Ave's
gotten seriously SANE..."
Bit: "...
...Let's get him!" *rars, then jumps out some window, presumably after Ev*
Espilan:
"SHIT! THEY'RE ONTO ME!" *runs off*
Bit: *voice fading
in the distance* "Come back here ya little shit...!"
Omnium: *walks
onscreen, looks back and fourth a bit...* "And there was much
rejoicing."
Crowd: *cheers*
"Yay!" ^-^
(End Chapter
Filler 2. Which means 'Filler' is still equal to 1.)
Chapter 13: The
plot to "kill" the Maytrix
(After our
heroes...took a "Lunch Break", they head toward Maytrix...or
whereever the hell that place is! But as usual... XD)
Altosean: Great,
we got lost. ITS ALL YOUR FAULT AVE!
Nolrex: Lets slit
his throat
Ave: *holds up the
Baka sign* I'm the baka, man!
Ova: Oh brother...
Mudau: I gotz the
powwa stick!
Karmel: I like to
wear- *script gets sliced by director*
Director: O_o
Don't make Karmel pull a Rayne
Scriptwriter:
Sorry
(Ahem, anyhow)
Karmel: Let me
hear that bongggggggggggg
Scion: O_o
Altosean: Karmel,
this is no time for druggies
Qvla: Man, i'm
hungry
Ova: Stop it, you
know you gained 50 pounds the last time you ate too much
Qvla: Damn!
Nolrex: Anyhow,
Lord Altosean carry out the way!
Altosean: Alright,
now that we're done resting we gotta plot some damn way to save Seika. Any
ideas?
Scion: Lets use
the twinkies!!
Karmel: Use the
Shyning Gumdan damn it!
Ave: My Yougeoh
cards!
Ova: Twasfoamers,
man!
Qvla: MAPLE SYRUP!
Everyone else: NO!
Qvla: =<
Altosean: Urgh,
lets keep planning with some help, we'll be too old to move by the time we come
up with a decision!
Ave: Silly rabbit,
trix are for kids!
Mudau: Yuppers
Nolrex: I agree,
lets settle off somewhere quickly
(5 billion y- I
mean seconds later!)
Altosean: Alright,
we must plot to attack the Maytrix!
Qvla: The May
calender?
Ave: The Trix
cereal company?!
Ova: You baka,
thats General Mills!
Ave: *holds up
baka sign* BAKA PRIDE! >:D
Ova: ~_~
Nolrex: We'll
assault it with Ex-Dee Wings!
Mudau: Yes yes
yes! With the Wahveraidur Bazooka!
Karmel: Neato
then! :D
Ova: Well...
Scion: I say we
ambush them
Director: Time's
up!
Altosean: DAMN IT!
Ave: So much for
service
Altosean: Men, get
ready. We'll head into the Maytrix and slaughter all those Smifs!
Everyone else:
HELL YEAH!
(Our village
idiots prepare to head to the Maytrix and take out the Smifs who supposedly are
working for Douhan. But will they succeed? Or are they just Excel Excel posers?
Find out on the next episode of Kros Nights! Because Chrono Trigger has bit the
dust!)
Magus: WHAT?!
>:O
Chapter 14: The
Maytrix and Seika's fate
(The Kros Nights
FINALLY reach the Maytrix after a long boredom-packed sequence nobody can even
bother to see. But will they get out alive with their stupidity? Lets find out)
Altosean: DUR!
Qvla: DUR!
Ave: DUR!
Ova: DURRRRR!!
Nolrex: WE ARE THE
DUR KNIGHTS!
Mudau, Karmel, and
Scion: DUR! DUR! DUR!
Ave: WE'LL MAKE
YOU SAY DUR!
Qvla, Scion, and
Ova: DUR! DUR! DUR! DUR!
Altosean: WE'LL
SLAUGHTER YOU ALLLLLLL!!
Ave, Nolrex, and
Karmel: DUR! DUR! DUR! DUR! DUR!
Mudau: AND OUR
SINGING SUCKKKSSSSSSSSS!!
Kros Nights: DUR!
DUR DUR DURRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
Altosean: =X
Anyhow, we're so close to it now we just gotta worry about our major opponents
Ave: Where?!
(Suddenly, the
area glows, multiple morons of the same looks that supposedly were too lazy to
be different emerge)
Smif 1: So, you
joined to become one of us?
Smif 2: Then allow
us to do the work for you!
Altosean: We'll
NEVER join your cause, now back off
Ave: Mr. Baka's
too unique
Mudau: So am I!
Karmel: *turns
into a little girl and hides*
Qvla: *whacks
Karmel to normal* You don't scare me!
Ova: My hydra
cannons will stop you!
Nolrex: ...
Scion: I'll crush
you like nothing else will!
Smifs: *assemble*
We'll take you all on!
Altosean: I'm not
afraid of you pansies in black suits at all! Kros Nights! Assemble, these
losers are going down!
Ave: Right with ya
dude
Qvla: Flame Wheel
attack!
Smif 1: Urgh!
WATER WATER!
Ave: *pulls out a
card* Alright, here we go. I summon your mom! Ooooooohhhhh
Ova: O_o
(5 Smifs die from
that insult)
Ova: *turns into a
fire truck, activates sirens, runs over 10 of them* Ooh! *runs over them again
and again and again and again*
Nolrex: *decides
to be a cold-hearted moron and simply slices one of them in two* Switchblades,
gotta love them. Only $9.95
Mudau: At Sears?
*whammed by the Director*
Smif: *tries to
turn Mudau into one, but fails*
Mudau: Yeah thats
right *takes out one of the Smif's coffee, replaces it with Folger's Crystals,
then replaces the Folger's Crystals with a hand grenade* =>
Smif: *drinks it*
Mudau: :D!
*watches the Smif blow up*
Scion: *whistles,
SUPPOSEDLY Protoman was suppose to land, but what REALLY lands is Mr Weight*
20 Smifs: x_x
Altosean:
Mistlelin! Whack 100 Smifs attack! *slow motion, starts smacking 100 Smifs
silly*
Announcer: ULTRA
COMBOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Altosean: Yeah!
Take that f00s!
Smifs: Damn
idiots! We- HEY WE'RE IN A GARBAGE TRUCK!
Kros Nights: XD!
(Garbage Truck
makes a compacting sound)
Smifs: AH! GET US
OUT OF HERE! AHHHHH!!!
(Due to the nasty
graphic screaming and such, we decided to play some more enjoyable music in the
background instead so you won't have your ears burning from all this chaos.
Plus they somehow are clay)
Altosean: Anyhow,
now that they are done, we can proceed
Ave: I like
swords!
Mudau: Welcome to
Corneria!
Ova: *suddenly
appears in a Dr. Evil costume, holds pinky up to mouth* ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
*returns to normal*
Karmel: I want a
Raichu plushie please!!
Director: HEY!
Thats my line!
Roara: *duct tapes
mouth* No it isn't!
Director: *rips
tape off* Damn twinkies!
Altosean: o_o
Nolrex: Shaddap!
Now we've gotta head in there
Scion: Meh,
agreed. Lets charge in before they come back in the form of a cube!
Altosean:
Chargeeeeeee!
(Our heroes
finally reach the Maytrix)
Qvla: Bay!
Ova: Ah great, he
got into some maple syrup again
Ave: I say we sell
it on EBay! >:D
Altosean: Damn
baka!
Mudau: Lets delete
it!
Nolrex: Agreed
Scion: WE MAKE A
CAR OUT OF IT! >:O
Karmel: We eat it?
(A strange glow
comes out of the Maytrix)
Altosean: ?!
???: So, you are
the fools that infiltrated my base
Altosean: Grrr,
shut up!
???: No, now
listen, the fate of Seika is in the hands of you complete idiots. But there's
no damn chance you can take down their ruler with your pathetic stuff
Altosean: I'm one
of the best of my kind, so you better have a good excuse!
???: Grrr, shut up
before I turn you into a kitty!
Altosean: Reow! =P
???: Oh damn, your
ready for that anyway. Blast! Well then, how about you try to assemble the
Victory Saber?
Altosean: ...That
doesn't even exist
???: Oh really? It
does, its been extracted from some twasfoamers many many years ago, its just in
pieces that are scattered everywhere
Kros Nights: OH
GNOHS! A BORING PIECE COLLECTING ADVENTURE!
Ave: AHHHHH! IT
HAST BEEN TAINTED! MY BAKA SIGN IS GLORIFIEDDDDDD!!
???: Meh, thats
all i'm going to even bother telling you
(5 hours later,
people start running into the Maytrix to warn our heroes...)
Civilian: ELMO'S
GOT A GUN!!
Mayor: ELMO'S GOT
A GUN! A HUGE GUN!
Altosean: Oh
great...
*cue Weird Al
Yankovic - Elmo's Got a Gun to play*
Altosean:
Men...lets go! o_o
(Our heroes have
to now stop a crazy styrofoam Sesame Street maniac that has a gun, and i'm not
sure which gun it is but oh well. Find out on the next episode of Kros Nights!
Where we take moonies and sell them on EBay)
Chapter 15: Elmo's
REALLY Got a Gun
(Blah blah blah
Director pays me bad, I want a vacation blah blah blah)
Director: WHAT?!
(Errr, the Baka
Men head outside of the Maytrix, where they really do see Elmo from Sesame
Street with a gun)
Karmel: Do not
worry! This knight will stop him!
Altosean: Meh,
enough stupidity. Charge!
Elmo: Haha! *fires
gun, insert Star Wars blaster sounds here*
Dude in black:
URGH!
Ova: ...
Scion: Lets get
ready all for the love of justice and stupidity?
Nolrex: HELL YEAH!
Qvla: ~_~
Altosean: Hero
Sword attack!
Ova: *fires blasts
out of his crappy arm cannon*
Nolrex: *pulls his
hands back* This is where it ends...DARKNESS WAVE!
Mudau: *just
punches Elmo like mad, gets blasted into a wall* Ow ow ow!
Qvla: *turns into
a Bayleef* Bay! Leef!
Elmo: *smacks a
Master Ball at Qvla, catches him, but drops the ball and blasts everyone else
away*
Altosean: Oh yeah?
Urgh, this may hurt but even though everyone else is down i'm not going down!
*glows eerily*
Elmo: *shoots
again and again, shots bounce off*
Altosean:
Mistlelin! Powerfusion! *pulls out a PET* PULSE TRANSMISSION TO THE OUTSIDE
WORLD!
Enigmatic PET:
...*fuses*
Altosean: You
can't stop me now, piece of trash! *pulls Mistlelin back*
Elmo: Wha? Whats
going on?
Altosean:
Flash...Flare...BLADE! JUSTIFY THIS WRETCHED FIEND! *sword catches on fire,
insert fire effects here*
Elmo: AH!
Altosean: *flies
at Elmo, slashes him multiple times*
Scion: *gets up,
pulls out Reverse Blade Sword, joins in the multi-slash frenzy*
Ova:
Powalinkkkkkkkk! *drag racer attaches to his back, water cannons turn into
blasters*
Nolrex: He caught
Qvla?! Get up you idiots! We must barrage this f00
Mudau: Woohoo!
Ave: Baka man
strikes again! *holds up sign*
Nolrex: Kaiser
Wave! *shoots off projectile at Elmo*
Mudau: Duhble
Zehtah assault! *grabs Elmo and starts kicking and punching him*
Ave: Hmph, i'll
solve this. I summon Black Eyed Peas Dragon and Curse of Boredom and combine
them with my l337erization card!
Altosean:
Bakenteru God Slash! *slashes Elmo again*
Ave: The Black
Eyed Boredom Dragon! BLACK EYED BOREDOM DRAGON! BOREDOM BREATH ATTACK!!
Altosean:
*combines the attack with all the others* One more!
Ova: Twin Charged
Particle Beam attack! *fires at Altosean who catches it*
Altosean: Nodion
Pride attack! *holds up his left hand which engulfs Elmo in plenty of flames*
Elmo: AGH! *burns
to pieces*
Mirtius: Ooh!
*takes the Master Ball with Qvla in it* See ya later! >:D
Altosean: Another
girl? *_*
Nolrex: SHADDAP
AND SNAP OUT OF IT! SHE GOT AWAY WITH QVLA!
Altosean: WHAT?!
CRAP!
Ave: Man, not more
running =<
Mudau: I guess we
gotta get going
Karmel: Indeed
Scion: ...
Ova: Roll out!
(With Qvla caught,
whats next for the bakas? Find out on the next episode of Kros Nights =X)
Espil: WHAT?! SO
HE FINALLY MADE IT HAPPEN!
Mr T: Damn! Now I
owe this f00 20 bucks
Chapter 16: Anime
Ja Naiiiii! *shot*
(Our heroes end up
having to save their trusty friend, but gimmie a break, they're TIRED!)
Ave: *falls over,
on everyone else*
(All the Kros
Nights fall on each other like a domino effect)
Kros Nights:
ZzZzZz...
Little Girl: *runs
circles around the sleeping heroes, takes all their cash, runs off to get some
more clothes*
(Later that
night...)
Altosean: Blast
it! We were robbed
Ave: Yahoo! Baka
pride got our money taken *holds up sign*
Mudau: We're with
stupiddddddddd
Nolrex: Grrrr...
Karmel: Yay yay
yay! What do we do now? o_o
Scion: Maybe we
need a Battosai
Ova: o_o
Scion: If we get
one, the person will die
Ova: Ummm...guys?
It was just a little girl, maybe she ran off to get candy XD Lets go back to
find Qvla
Altosean: Agreed
Ave: *runs around
stupidly jumping on peoples heads*
Mudau: *just runs
around in triangles*
Altosean: *kicks
both of them* Lets go! >:O
Others: Damn
Twinkies! *follow Altosean*
(65 million y- I
mean milliseconds later)
Ova: Great, thats
Guarghdean Castle
Ave: XD We need a
Deegeevice to get in!
(Meanwhile)
???: *smacks
Director* Next time be careful what you mock >:O
Director: *ends up
fainting*
???: o_o
(Back to our
heroes)
Ova: I can make
one, I THINK I can
Nolrex: Make one
or i'll use you as my new sweeper
Ova: o_o
Karmel: Whats
that, anyway?
Altosean: I dunno,
someone's watched too much Digimon?
Ave: *rolls on the
floor laughing*
Mudau: Wheeeeeeeee
Altosean: I guess
we gotta think up a plan
(Many days later
due to the fact they all have IQ's NEAR 0, except a few anyway)
Ave: Yes! I got
it!
Ova: Its finished,
now lets...use it
Altosean: Alright!
Everyone Else: THE
DIRECTOR'S TOO LAZY TO MAKE US SAY OUR OWN LINES!
Director:
Well...it hurts. I'm as red as a strawberry
Kros Nights: o_o
Altosean: There's
a Master Ball *opens it*
Qvla: Gah...that
was CRAMPED! MEDICCCCCC!!
Ova: Phew, we got
him back
Scion: Grrr! Hey
guys, over there!
Ave: My Ferrari?
Mudau: My cheetos?
Karmel: No you
idiots! Its Douhan!
(The afro-esque
villian flying on a huge dining plate appears)
Douhan: So, you
want to play eh? Allow me to destroy all of you!
Altosean: How
about no? I look forward to your loss, and our twinkies ruling the world!
Ave: THE POWER
COMPELS YOU TO BOW TO MY SIGN! *holds it up*
Qvla: Geez, i'm
tired of this
Ova: You'll perish
from my Twasfoamers!
Scion: I'll just
try to BE a Battosai! >:D *evil dance*
Mudau: Duhble
Zetah!
Karmel: My name
isn't a bad rhyme of Carmel for nothing XD
(Our heroes ready
for a final battle perhaps? Will this story even end here? Can't we have our
cheetos now? Find out on the next episode of Kros Nights...where we had Ultima
Weapon for breakfast)
(In someone's
stomach)
Ultima Weapon: GET
ME OUT OF HERE! >:O
Chapter 17: You
got mail! *shot*
(Where we last
left off doesn't matter! I need my new twinkiesssss! ;_; *turns into Chiki and
cries*)
Sound effects
girl: XD! Yes! Now i'm in control of the script! >:O
Director: Hey this
isn't fair!
Sound effects
girl: =\ Aw geez
Guy selling comics
in the back: PANTS GNOMES!
Director: o_o
(Anyhow, since she
took over the directors chair =< *continues crying* Well this isn't too bad
when I think about it...)
Altosean:
Urgh! Damn plate man!
Ave: w00t!
Scion: Funkay
Reverse Blade Sword on spinal cord action!
Ova: Agh!
Pervertorama!
Karmel: Indeed
Qvla: Maple Syrup!
Nolrex: I'll leave
this to the rest, lets go Mudau
Mudau: Okay, where
to?
Nolrex: Suemahtran
City
Nolrex: We'll
leave this to you two, see ya *teleport*
Altosean: Damn it!
Ave: Its all up to
usssssss
Douhan: Hahaha
*readies charge*
Altosean:
Grrr...Sol Katti attack! *ends up turning into Lyn* Ah?!
Ave: lmao!
Ova: I told you to
NOT use that weapon
Altosean: Think
again! :D *pulls off Blade Lord critical*
Ova: Ummm! *fires
crappy shots from cannons*
Altosean:
*reverts*
Douhan:
Kame...hame...
Ave: Baka sign!
Douhan:
HAAAAAAAAAA *suddenly gets hit by his own attack* AGH!
Scion: *flies on
top of Douhan's head* Over here!
Douhan: Grrr!
Scion: >:D
*slices back of neck, jumps off*
Douhan: Speareet
Bomb! *blasts almost all Kros Nights away*
Karmel: No affair!
Ave: Affair? XD
Karmel: Nue! I
caught the director's typo disease *shoots molten carmel at Douhan* Sticky! XO
Douhan: ~_~
Altosean: Damn
it...
Ave: I summon the
Zainshot Bazooka!
Douhan: NO! NOT
THAT! EVILNESS!! AHHHHHH!!
Ave: *picks up
bazooka*
Douhan: *tries to
retreat*
Ave: FIREEEEE!!
Zain: Delivery
*UPS box falls on Douhan*
Chibi Roy: I WILL
EAT EBAY AND SELL THE REMAINS IN MY STOMACH!
Chibi Marth: Can I
buy some of the remains?
Douhan:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *looks like he short circuited*
Altosean: What the
heck? o_O
Ave: He just fried
Qvla: Baka! Its a
clone!
Scion: No it
isn't, its an android o_O
Karmel: Yes, he's
right. An android, a rather stupid looking one. Can we eat the dinner plate?
Everyone else:
HELL YEAH! ITS GOT PIZZA ON THE SIDE!
Altosean: O_o Oh
brother
(Despite our bakas
don't know this is 5 year old pizza, and they are going to get sick; what will
our heroes deal with next? Find out on the next very stupid episode of Kros
Nights. Where I hope I dun get turned into a mamcoot annymore *reverts*)
*Camera turns on,
despite the fact you're READING this, and not actually WATCHING this.*
*Camera shows
Roara sneaking around.*
Roara: *In
whisper* Okay, put it right in that wall....
Voice with lots of
added mysteriousness and a long description for realisticness of doom: Okay.
*Camera is moved,
almost as though it were in a wall... hrm, wonder where they put it.*
Roara: *Still in
whisper* Good, now hide it, so no one will see it... and narrator, director,
keep it down!
Bit a.k.a.
Vwloamaaldfrod (a.k.a. Voice with lots of added mysteriousness and a long
description for realisticness of doom): *In whisper* Okay.
*(Fine. Anyways,
As I was saying... the camera now shows a studio-like place, which is entirly
empty.)*
Bit: *Still in
whisper* Should we turn it off?
Roara: *Not
unwhispering yet* Nah, it's only a text camera, so it doesn't use much film...
we could keep it on for hours, and yet it'd barly be 1% done... infact, that's
why this story only uses one html/txt file... but we'll probably get into that
right now... okay, what happens is, it takes all that happens, and uses it's
self narration system (which, since I ignore the fourth wall, i can hear, and
anyone around me can hear but don't know they can hear it, causing alot of
confusion in their brains, as the OOC level and the IC level change, though
having no obvious effect, some lesser roleplayers would collapse when that
happens) to narrate everything that happens, and also types in what people say
and do, creating a- *Continues babbling*
*While-*
Roara: *Stops
babbling* NARRATOR!! KEEP IT DOWN!! YOU NOISY IDIOT!!!! ARGH!! *Continues
babbling.*
*(Sorry...
anyways, while Roara babbles on about useles-)*
Roara: *Stops
babbling* IT'S USEFUL INFORMATION, MORON!! *Continues babbling.*
*(I mean, useful
information, Bit, being the idiot-)*
Bit: *Ahems.*
*(I mean genius he
is, he walks away... since he knows all that stuff already... right.)*
*Nex- I mean...
(Next day.... three hours after Roara left, and one minute after Roara came
back)*
*Alot of people
are standing around... too many to name... so we'll just let you be confused.
:D *
Roara: Hi! :D
Everyone:
*Babbles- I mean, talks on.*
Roara: ... Hi....
Everyone: *Still
talks on.*
Roara: I SAID HI,
YOU UNGRATEFUL PUNKS!!!!
Everyone: Jeez,
Roara, don't get so angry!
Bit: Calm down,
man! Jeez!
Roara: Hi. ^_^
Bit: Anyways, Ave,
continue being yourself.
Ave: The baka
pride me, or the plain old baka me?
Bit: ... You
guess....
Ave: Um....
Bit: *Walks off,
while Ave stands there, guessing, wondering, and doing something almost close
to THINKING.*
NekoSabrina:
Stupidman! Go! *Tosses a pokeball, and some netnavi-like thing comes out*
Stupidman.EXE:
Duh... dur... ... Um... Urm.... Dur....
Pokemaster_Ash:
AHH!! RAICHU, RETURN!! *Throws a pokeball at Bit* Woops... missed.
Bit: *Gets hit*
Ow... grr... *uses Photon Super Uber Frag Attack of Ultimate Cloaked SciFi
Medival Doom on Pokemaster_Ash* Stop it-
*Mode suddenly
sets to +L*
Bit: -, **** it!
Hey, wait a second... WHY WAS I CENSORED?! I'm the director, and I say we can
swear!! >:o
Pokemaster_Ash's
Raichu: *Gets confused, ALOT, by Supidman.EXE* Does it... er... LIVE? Or what?
o_O?
Stupidman.EXE:
Duh... OH YEAH!! STUPID!! What was that word again? Durr....
NekoSabrina:
>:O ATTACK YOU IDIOT!!
Stupidman.EXE:
Right! *Uses Stupid Attack on NekoSabrina*
NekoSabrina: Not
on me, idiot!
Stupidman.EXE: And
proud! :D
Ave: HEY, I'VE GOT
THE BAKA PRIDE AROUND HERE! >:O
Stupidman.EXE: NO,
ME!! >:O
Ave: ME!!!
*Tackles Stupidman.EXE, and starts fighting Stupidman.EXE.*
Roara: *Walks over
to the camera, and whispers* Oh, and by the way, this is a behind the scenes
show. :D Not one of those stupid fake ones, either! :o
Bit: OR IS IT!!
DUN DUN DUMMMM!!!!
Espilan: That was
my line. >:o
Bit: Oh, woops,
sorry.
Roara: Will you
two shut the **** up?!
Espilan: Fine...
but Bit owes me!
Bit: No I don't.
Espilan: ... Fine,
but Roara owes me.
Roara: Stop
pointing fingers!
Stupidman.EXE and
Ave: *Stop pointing fingers at random people to prove their stupidity.*
Roara: And
Espilan, get over it. 'Sides, we don't have any script!
Espilan: Improve
at it's best! Er, worst! Or whatever....
Zain: Now I feel
stupi- wait a second! Woops, wrong card.
Roara: Where'd you
come from?
Zain: ... ... I'm
not... sure... really.... *Starts making funny faces, like he's a computer
that's about to crash, but can't crash.*
Roara: o_o
Espilan: HE'S
GONNA EXPLODE!! RUNNN!!!!!
Everyone: *Just
stands there*
Espilan: WHY
AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME?!
Channel: *To
Espilan* You may not speak, because some idiot secretly deopped you and banned
you. So shut up, before I rip your head off! Oh, and have a nice day. :D
Espilan: ... The
heck?
Channel: *To
Espilan* I SAID SHUT THE **** UP, YOU ****ING * Alot of beeps right about here
*!!!!!!!
Espilan: O_O!;
Channel: Mode +o
Espilan
Espilan: O_O;
Zain: Zr...
ztz.... ztazdeszz.... ztztsaazxzzdzssz....
uygYZFVUSZDBIUABIUHIU!!UIH!EIUHJNEUI!!!! *Traditional simplified boom of blue
death*
Boom: Boom.
Roara: What a nice
explosion... really amazing... ooh ahh... right... anyways... what were we
doing again?
Boom: I'm not
finished, idiot! Anyways.... KAABABWOOOOOOM!!! KAAPOOWWWWWYYKAKANWBAB!!
ZZZRZTTZTZRZTTZRZTTTTTTTTTTR!!! KAKAKAKAKRKRBABOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Channel = 0wned,
badly.*
*Fade to static*
Chapter 19: My
name is *scratches head* whats my name again?
(3 days after the
"fight", our bakas need liposuction from eating too much, Seika has
not only been flooded by maple syrup, but with cream cheese, and-)
Director: Slow the
heck down! *whap!*
Narrator: Ow ow ow
(Anyhow, after the
remaining Kros Nights get a damn lot of liposuction, they wonder what the heck
to do next)
Altosean: I heard
Seika is a junk food wonderland now
Qvla: Yeah, and
what? *burps*
Ave: Quit eating
that rotten pizza or we need to give you more liposuction!
Ova: Shaddap baka
man
Ave: I'M!...BAKA
MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN *holds up sign*
Scion:
Ummm...guys...
Karmel: AH! A
STAMPEDE OF BEER TRUCKS!
Ova: Beer whut?
Ave: Urgh! We must
run from the stampede of beer trucks!
Qvla: Stupid, you
mean armada
Altosean: Shaddap,
we can't make up our minds because we're with stupid
Ave: ^_^' He's
right *holds up sign*
Kros Nights:
TONZURA KOITEEEEEEEEE~ *all of them run from the fast moving beer trucks*
Driver: Hehehe,
stupid people who talk too much
(After the sun
supernovaed and nothing ex- I mean 5 minutes later)
Altosean: My god,
what idiots are doing this to us?
Karmel: I dunno,
its just me?
Ave: Yeah! Its
just us!
Qvla: AHHHHHH! ITS
A PAPER AIRPLANE!
Altosean: *watches
everyone else run other than himself* o_O
*SLICE!*
<insert plane
falling in two here>
Altosean: Gawd,
you five make 7 year old girls look brave
Scion: Wait? Wha?
Me? I was just drinking a soda
Karmel:
*transforms all of a sudden, insert Game & Watch beeps here*
Scion: Its not
BEER damn you, its just soda
Karmel: *turns
back to normal* Sorry
Ave: Hi Rockets,
do you like twinkies?
*gets bashed with
pokeballs*
Ova: O_o You
directed that to Team Rocket? Thats just dumb man
Ave: Want me to
put on a stupid suit and wear a baka sign the size of Russia?
Altosean: Men! We
must get moving
*Everyone besides
Ave shoves Ave away*
Ave: Hey! This
isn't fair
Scion: Man, i'm
tired of running from crap
Karmel: AH ITS
RABID TWINKIES!
Altosean: Do we
need to shove him into a corner?
Ova: *nod*
Altosean: *picks
up Karmel*
Altosean: *THROWS*
Karmel: *hits a
lead pipe and falls over* Owwah!
Ave: Woohoo, that
worked!
Sound Effects
Girl: *secretly pumps helium into the area*
Altosean: Urgh!
Why do I sound strange?
Qvla: No! This
sucks!
Ave: TURN IT OFF
FOR GREAT JUSTICE OR I'LL USE MY POEPSYTRIN CANNON FROM MY SLAUGHT MACHINE!
Ova:
Ummm...*powers up* RETURN MY VOICE TO NORMAL!
(An hour later,
you can hear the Sound Effects Girl calling Ova Rapunzel. Why?! HIS HAIR'S TOO
DAMN LONG AND ITS BLOND COLORED!)
Ova: Aw man! Now I
need a huge pair of scissors
Altosean: Super
Saiyan Posersssssssssss...they ALL sux0r! >:D
Ave: Urgh, we're
bored. And I sound like some girl on some cheesy anime
Megumi: *just
SUDDENLY appears and smacks Ave so hard he ends up falling asleep and having a
freaky dream*
Ave: AHHHHH! NO!
GET ME OUT! I DIDN'T WANNA BE KARI! AHHHHH!!
Altosean: ^_^'
*glomp* How'd you pop up?
Megumi: Ah, its
just usual XD Say I can hear some funny stuff coming from that friend of yours.
I wonder if he has that Celestial Arrow yet XD
Altosean: Hahaha
Karmel: Ummm...
(50 minutes later)
Karmel: Sir
Altosean!
(50 minutes later)
Altosean: See ya
Megumi!
Megumi: Farewell
*runs off*
Ave: You talk too
much =P
Altosean: Anyhow,
lets get back on our journey
(After some messed
up crap that was suppose to mock a movie the director just was so bored he had
to mock it, what is expecting our bakas? Find out on the next episode of Kros
Nights. Because I just burned that local Sizzlers)
Sizzlers Employee:
>:O!
Director:
*teleports away* Phew
Chapter 20: Follow
the Lead Brick Road
(Lord Altosean
resumes his journey, ready to take on the Grand Bell empire)
Director: Can I
ring the bell?
Sound Effects
Girl: *wok!*
Director: x_x
*falls over*
(Errr...anyhow,
just say they get lost...AGAIN!)
Ova: Evil
director! >:O
Ave: Aw mannnnn
Altosean:
Waterrrrrr
Karmel: CHOCOLATE!
I NEED IT! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW
* Karmel has quit
IRC (Excess Flood)
Scion: O_o So much
for him
* Karmel has
joined #krosnights
Karmel: Urgh! I
flooded off!
Scion: *pulls out
his sword*
Altosean: I
wonder, why is the blade on the wrong side?
Ave: He's STUPID
handed! XO
Scion: *slashes
Ave with the sharp side of the Reverse Blade Sword* Shut up
Ova: Fools, its a
reverse blade sword
Altosean: Ah,
thats why
Ave: *dances
around stupidly* Fighting people in moonlight
Altosean: AGH! OFF
KEY!
Everyone else: OUR
EARSSSSSS HAVE BEEN TAINTED!
Altosean:
SHYNINGUUUUU FINGAAAAAAAAAA *smashes middle finger into Ave's eyes*
Ave: Ow my eyes
have been poked out!
Altosean: Hmmm XD
Qvla: Meh
Karmel: I sense
these Grand Bell knights are nearby
Scion: You aren't
psychic, so quit it! Your making my hair mess up
Ave: Hahah- ow
Altosean: Urgh,
can we all stop bickering?
Kros Nights: Yes
sir
Sephiroth: Not so
fast!
Brocoli: Fwhahaha!
Pehgahsus: Give
up, we've got you all surrounded
Scion: You fail to
understand my skill in the arts of the Battosai?
Nurgale: Hmph, I
care nothing of your pathetic words
Altosean: Grr,
men, gang up on Nurgale. I'll take on Brocoli
Ave: Pehgahsus is
mine!
Scion: Leave the
Kefka poser to me, i'll make him regret he got out of his grave *eyes turn
yellow*
Sephiroth: Meteor!
*causes a huge meteor to descend*
Scion: ...I'll
kill you, you and your attempts to kill the world are just going to be back in
your grave
Sephiroth: You
just a mere poser, so shut up
Scion: *slices
clear through the meteor 8 times, reducing it to bits and pieces* Think again!
Sephiroth: *jumps
up and slashes Scion*
Scion: Urgh!
Sephiroth: Now its
time to kill you *tries to stab Scion in the heart, but Scion just suddenly
speeds out of the way*
Scion: I may be no
more than a poser compared to the REAL Battosai, but how about I do *turns
Reverse Blade Sword on the sharp end, gets into position* THISSSS!
Sephiroth: *tries
to stab him out of the air, but he keeps dodging*
Scion: *decends
down, area turns black, a verical slash appears with a LOT of blood gushing
out*
(Due to all the
graphic yelling, we will let you listen to this music the sound effects girl
put up because the director is too busy =P)
Sephiroth's
Cleaved Corpse: *falls to the ground in two*
Scion: *sheaths
sword* Hmph, wuss
Qvla: Rose Whip
attack!
Nurgale: Ow ow ow!
Stupid twinkies!
Karmel: Lousy TV
ads attack! *unleashes a LOT of crappy TVs with evil ads on them at Nurgale*
Nurgale: *casts
Darkness, totally engulfing the two* How about now?
Qvla: x_x Ah, I
drank too much *pukes and falls over*
Karmel: Ah! I'm a
little girl again >_<
Nurgale: Cute
little thing, i'd be glad to sacrifice you to join my dragons!
Karmel: I HATE
DRAGONS! *pulls out a tiny knife and stabs*
Nurgale:
ARGHHHHHHHHH! *dies in an overexaggerated death scene that you always see in
boring RPG's*
Karmel: *giggles*
Yay!
Altosean: O_o
Brocoli: *fires
brocoli at Altosean, nailing him in the stomach*
Altosean: *long
pause*
*5 minutes later*
OW YOU SHOT ME YOU
A-HOLE!
Brocoli: What the?
Altosean: *STAB
STAB STABBITY STAB STAB STAB STAB REPEAT*
Brocoli: Ah I
can't move!!
Altosean:
>=> Stab stab stab ^_^
Brocoli: Ah! Make
it stop! Its only doing 1 damage and it won't stop
Altosean: XD! No!
^_^ *stab stab stab stab*
(1 hour later)
Brocoli: AH I GIVE
UP! *just dies*
Altosean: But I
just poked him the last time O_o
Pehgahsus: I
summon the Chibi Ray! *fires*
Ave: Hey! *dodges*
No fair!
Ave: I summon the
Zainshot Bazooka and the Zeeky H Bomb! With the power of l337erization!
Pehgahsus: x_x
Ave: I SUMMON THE
ZAINSHOT ZEEKY H BOMB! *fires bazooka*
Zain: Delivery!
*drops UPS box on Pehgahsus*
Pehgahsus: HEY!
Box sounds: Zeeky
Boogy Doog!
<insert movie
of world exploding here, then all the planets then eventually the sun
following>
Pehgahsus: x_x
Damn overpowered crap
Altosean: We won?
Aw man, that was too short
Everyone else:
*bored expression on their face*
Karmel: I wanna
play with a cute little pony!
Altosean: O_o
*smack*
Karmel: *reverts*
Sorry, I was being influenced *coughs harshly*
Ave: *holds up
Baka sign and dances weirdly* Woohooooooo
Ova: Hey! No fair!
I didn't get to attack
Director: *runs
away with the script*
Ova: HEY! Don't
make me get the Sound Effect and Camera Girls after you!
Altosean: Ah screw
him we got better things to do. Lets go!
(After our heroes
finally left the Director alone, they wonder who the heck is next! Will it be
figured out? Find out on the next Episode of Kros Nights. Where the Director
hopes the Sound Effects Girl isn't after him after listening to Megumi
Hayashibara - Nostalgic Lover)
Director: AH NOT
THE ANTI-OTAKU HAMMER! *run!*
Chapter 21: This
is not complete! Ben Dover!
(The humiliating
Douhan sits on his dinner plate, watching the construction of Gawd Genrye and
Gawd Gumdan)
Douhan: Feh, I
can't believe my clone failed
Enigmatic soldier:
Sir...
Douhan: What?!
Enigmatic soldier:
How much longer will those two mechs take to construct?
Douhan: Why ask me
that you piece of crap? GET BACK TO WORK!
Prince Golferg:
What he said
Enigmatic Soldier:
Grrr...this makes me mad
Racheeses: I could
reach Altosean...if I use the right path
Prince Golferg:
Not so fast!
Racheeses: Out of
my way! I'm not letting a thing get between my Onii-chan and me! *kick*
Prince Golferg:
Agh! She kicked me in the crotch
Racheeses: *runs
away*
Prince Golferg:
Get h- Agh! She got away!
(Meanwhile...)
Altosean:
Hm...that last battle sucked. Any ideas
Ave: HEY ALRIGHT
GATHER AROUND THE EXPLOSIVE RAN PLUSHIE IS HERE! WHAT EXPLOSIVE RAN PLUSHIE DO
YOU WANT?! I GOT BIG PLUSHIES LITTLE PLUSHIES! BECAUSE I'M THE EXPLOSIVE RAN
PLUSHIE!
Ova: *facepalm*
Qvla: Umm...we
should've hid the donuts
Ave:
Wheeeeeeeeeeeee =X
Karmel: He's lost
it, sir
Scion: Can we kill
him now?
Altosean: Urgh!
Shut up all of you! I think i'm hearing something
(A faint voice
comes from abroad)
Racheeses: Hello?
Hello?!
Altosean: Ahem,
over here, silly! *pulls Racheeses toward him*
Racheeses: Ah!
*lands next to Altosean*
Altosean: Sis! So
you still are alive
Racheeses: Yes
Everyone else: CAN
WE SPEAK NOW?! >:O
Altosean: Yes
Ave: Damn good,
i'm bored
Karmel: Hmmm
Scion: ...
Racheeses: I
managed to get a bodyguard here, but he oddly didn't find his way here yet
Altosean: I see
Ave: Man who runs
behind car is exausted. Man who runs in front of car is tired.
Ova: Shaddap, you
aren't wise
Karmel: Wheeeeeeee
Racheeses: *slaps
the others* Shut up!
Altosean: So, lets
camp out. We're bored right now...
(So our resident
bakas take a break, but little do they know they are in Grand Bell, nearby
Chow-fee Castle. Will our heroes notice this? Or will someone else notify of
things? Find out on the next episode of Kros Nights)
Chapter 22:
Zig-Urd and Key-you-wan
(Zig-Urd, prince
of Chow-fee, and Key-you-wan, prince of Lynstar revolve around your brain
confusing y-)
Director: YOU
SPOONY BARD *thonk thonk*
Narrator: Ow
(Anyhow, they just
are running around scaring villages away with their odd Lying and Gaybarge
weapons)
Zig-Urd: Wonder
when Altosean will pop up *slashes with sword*
Prince Golferg:
Agh! Stop! I know my hair's pink! =<
Key-you-wan:
*stabbity stab* Thats what makes up silly *stab again*
Zig-Urd: You see,
we have Pinkeritis. We see pink, we hit pink XD
Prince Golferg:
AGH! *runs away*
???: Hehe, don't
make me inject the Pink Virus over there ^-^
Zig-Urd: AHHHH!
Key-you-wan:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *both retreat*
Director: She was
just wanting fun, oh well
(Meanwhile)
Racheeses: Hmmm
Altosean: Go off
to guard Noydyon, i'd love to have you stay with us but the others need
protection
Racheeses: Okay
*runs off*
Ave: Huh? Wha? YAY
YAY YAY ITS TOOL TIME! *whapped with awl*
Ova: =X Shhhh, i'm
hacking into something
Qvla: Wonder what
Karmel: ;_; I just
want more candy, if its okay
Scion: Hmmm, no
you won't get anymore. I know your part little girl by heart =P
Karmel: =\
Ova: Urgh!
Incoming
Zig-Urd: Relax,
we're your friends
Key-you-wan: Long
time no see, Lord Altosean!
Altosean: My
friends back at Tijuana?
Zig-Urd: Yeah!
(Since when did
Tijuana apply to this?)
Director: Hey! Get
out of the speaker!
Ova: They trained
in Mexico?
Ave: *puts on a
huge sombrero and does a dance*
Qvla, Karmel, and
Scion: *join in*
Ave: HAHAHA! VIVA
MEXICO!
Altosean:
Umm...guys
Everyone else
besides Zig-Urd and Key-you-wan: What?
Altosean: Stop
having a fiesta =<
Everyone Else:
Sorry
Key-you-wan: I
just was taking a hint that you needed our assistance
Zig-Urd: Yeah!
Just keep us away from pink colors
Altosean:
Alright...
Karmel: Eep! We
got an attacker!
Altosean:
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?
Ova: Damn
twinkies! Its Supah Mon
Karmel: Agh! A
Rowbawt Mastah!
Ave: Douhan's a
Wily poser?
Qvla: XD Save he
has a 'fro
Supah Mon: Enough!
You shall taste mah fists!
Key-you-wan: What
you say?
Zig-Urd: All your
base are belong to us!
Altosean: Knight
triangle attack! Mistlelin!
Key-you-wan:
GAYBARGE! ph33r my pathetic barge on a stick!
Zig-Urd: LYING!
TIME TO PREVARICATE!
Altosean: ATTACK!
*insert flashy
effects here*
Supah Mon: Blargh!
I'm not the Mon of Steal! *implodes*
Altosean: =\ Aw
that sucked
Ave: No fair! No
cool cards?!
Douhan: Damn it!
Zig-Urd: j00 k4nt
b3 Dr. \/\/ily!
Douhan: *teleports
away on his dinner plate*
Ova: No fair! We
could've ate those grapes
Karmel: Yeah! I'm
hungry ;_;
Scion: I just want
blood
Ave: Is he in
Battosai mode again?
Altosean: I dunno
(Reunited with his
two baka friends, the Kros Nights advance through Grand Bell toward Tijuana
(Wha?!). However, Douhan could be plotting something worse than Eggo Waffles
that have been in a toaster too long. What may this be? Find out on the next
episode of Kros Nights. Where Emperor Hardin's Fuschia armor may as well be
damned to hell)
Hardin: NO FAIR!
Astoria: *Nelson
laugh* Ha ha!
Chapter 23: The
Bluh-ack Thang
(Nolrex and Mudau
stand right in front of General Hikaru)
Hikaru: So...
Mudau: Aw man, I
didn't finish my ice cream
Nolrex: Can you at
least shut up for a little bit?
Hikaru: You are
those two former Kros Nights
Nolrex: Yes
Hikaru: I put you
two bakas in charge of the Bluh-ack Thang, my smallest army of all of them I
command
Mudau: Okies! Can
I go back to using Duhble Zetah?
Hikaru and Nolrex:
*facepalm*
Mudau: Aw man
(Meanwhile, our
true bakas are just lost...again. And I bet they'll get lost later)
Director: Hey! You
weren't suppose to read next chapter's script!
Narrator: D'oh!
Altosean: We're
lost...again
Zig-Urd: Its
Key-you-wan's fault!
Key-you-wan: Just
because I have a Gay Barge does not mean I did it
Ave: Ummm...*holds
up Baka sign* This answers who was reading the map
Qvla: ...
Ova: *WHAM*
Ave: o_o
Karmel: *turned
into a little girl again, makes sand castles*
Scion: You fool!
*whaps Karmel with the hilt of his sword* Lets go!
Karmel: *turns
back* Sorry, it was too tempting
Altosean: Men,
lets move out!
(Meanwhile, where
Douhan and "I can't make up my hair color" man are standing)
Douhan: Hahaha!
Its time to unleash *overexaggerated music here* The Rowbawt Massturs!
Golferg: =\
Alright sir
Scion: You fools
over there! Elmo knows where you live!
Douhan and
Golferg: *anime sweatdrop, both teleport away*
Qvla: *swallows a
whole bottle of Maple Syrup* BAY!
Ave: Not again!
Ave: I
summon...THE FLAN SWORDSMAN! USE YOUR FLAN SWORD ATTACK!
Qvla: *reverts*
;_;
Ova:
Twasfoammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Karmel: I'm bored
=<
Scion: So am I,
but gimmie a break =\
Altosean:
Ergh...wait...
Ave: I see
something rather scary up ahead
Kros Nights other
than Altosean: AGH! ITS A CLOWN! AN UGLY PINK...WEARING CLOTHING THAT BURNS OUR
EYES!
Zig-Urd: o_o
Key-you-wan:
Both:
AHHHHHHHHHHH! *hide behind rock*
Altosean: -_-' Its
up to me
Altosean: *readies
sword* LET US ALLOW HIM TO BURN IN HELL!
Ave: YEAH! LIGHT
UP THE FIRE!
Altosean: *swings
sword, the clown catches on fire*
Clown: x_x *falls
over*
Announcer:
Fatality!
Ova: *bonks
announcer* This isn't Mortal Kombat, f00
Announcer:
Ummm...You Win!
Scion: XD
Karmel: lmao
Qvla: Ummm...*even
though he isn't even a Chikorita anymore and he's human* CHIKO!
Altosean: The
Bluh-ack Thang is assembling in Seika, lets head there
Ave: Okies, but
we'll get lost again for sure XD
Others: Urgh, what
a bummer
(Our heroes try to
find their way toward Seika, but will they even find their way there? Find out
on the next "Mudau Ahshatah" episode of Kros Nights)
Mudau: I didn't
know I was popular! *wokked*
Chapter 24 (Filler
4): We're lost, we're lost, we're lost and all alone!
(Our heroes have
somehow gotten lost, and have spent the past seven hours looking for something
that'll let them know where they are.)
Ave: It's this
way! *points east*
Ova: No, it's this
way! *points southwest*
Qvla: You bakas--
Ave: That's me! :D
Qvla: ...it's THAT
way! *points north*
Altosean: Will you
three shut up, I'm trying to think! o_o
Other Kros Nights: *shut up*
Karmel: What
about.... *closes eyes and spins around, stopping after two seconds, then
points* ...that way?
Altosean:
...But... I... euh... gah... o_o ...DAMNIT, NO! I have a map!
Ova: Of Seika
itself, yes, but not the damned forests around it!
Ave: Better start
damning those twinkies, we really are lost.
Altosean: Don't
screw up the moment by being smart, Ave.
Ave: Damnit ;-;
(After another
hour of nothing but walking and looking for the nearest person to pitifully beg
for directions...)
Qvla: I know we
were here before! Damnit, we're still lost!
Karmel: Wait!
There's someone we can ask!
Altosean: Waste no
time! *runs up to the guy*
Ave: ...?! IT'S
YOU!
Qvla: Who?
Ova: What?
Altosean: ...Huh?
Why am I never alerted to these strange plot twists that bring characters back
into the story?!
Zain: Oh, it's you
guys. Can I have my bazooka back now?
Chibi Roy: YEAH,
AND GIVE ME QUARTERS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!
Altosean: O_O
Q-q-quarters?! AAAAHHHH!!!! *jumps back five feet*
Zain: Oh. Right.
That's Roy. Harmless little bugger. Loudmouthed, but harmless.
Chibi Roy: GIMME
ANOTHER RIDE ON THE FSKING PEGASUS, YOU SILLY LITTLE MAN.
Ova: Uhm, the
"silly little man" is the director, not Altosean.
Director: Damnit,
the fourth wall really CAN'T exist with Zain around!! ;-;
Zain: You shut up.
I have more boxes with your name on them.
Director: Eeesh,
enough already, I'm leaving!
Zain: Now, you
guys are probably hopelessly lost.
Paige: Hey,
what're you doing, saying stuff I probably should?!
Zain: What? Who
said you were allowed to be here?! o_o;
Espilan: Both of
you shut up and get the storyline going! (The resident SysISC mock begins...
NOW.)
Zain: FSK NO!
*smack*
* Zain attacks... it's a hit! Espilan takes
24 Damage!
* Espilan
counterattacks... Zain takes 12 Damage!
Zain: You suck.
Espilan: Do I?
Paige: My god,
that sounds so wrong...
Espilan: The
hell?! Not that way!! *overhead hammer wham Zain*
* Espilan
attacks... it is a miss...
Zain: No, really.
Your fighting style-type thing. It SUCKS.
Paige: You both
suck.
* Zain now has the
Failure ISC.
* Espilan now has
the Failure ISC.
Altosean: Wait,
isn't this story about us Kros Nights?!
Zain + Espil: You
stay out of this!!
Altosean: No!
*smacks them both*
* Zain loses 100
Hit Points!
* Espilan loses
100 Hit Points!
Paige: Mmmkay. Can
you guys stop smacking yourselves like a pair of pansies now?
Zain: But he
started it!
Espilan: What!?
Ave: I summon
Espil's headphones, the Animated GIF, AND the HTML Tag! Listen to awfully loud
music until you end up like this! BRAINFART <http://www.9999hp.com/dcorona/Brainfart%20Animation.gif>
Espilan: Hey,
neat. It's playing Nightshade Sister.
* Espilan kicks in
[ Nightshade Sister [ MIDI ] ] 9999hp
Zain: *checks
hyperlink...* O_o;;
Paige: ...Frill.
At this rate, the storyline WON'T advance...
Ova: O_o; NUUUU!
YOU SCREWED UP TEH STOWWWIIIIIEEE!!!
Qvla: Now we CAN'T
get un-lost!!!
Karmel: For great
justice!!
Altosean:
...twinkies... such idiots...
Ave: YES!
Paige: ...?! Wha? Damnit, no! The storyline
DOES advance! NOW! Next chapter! NOW!!!11
Zain: But I--
*point at script*
Paige: FINE.
Here's another fix. Zain joins the Kros Nights! ^^;
Altosean: But we
have enough people already!
Ova: I feel
crowded.
Qvla: *pours maple syrup on self* BAY!
(WHAT?!)
Ave: Enough of that! *sets Qvla on fire, Qvla
reverts* At least I still get to use the bazooka!!
Zain: Not on my
watch.
Ave: Damnit!! ;-;
Paige: NOW, the
next chapter begins! NOW!!!
Espilan: Wait!
Paige:
*death-glare* What NOW, Evan?! Espilan: Uh.... nothing. Paige: Good. NEEEXT
CHAAAAPTER!!!!
Chapter 25: Gawd
On! Arise Massturfarce!
(Our heroes are
STILL lost trying to get to Seika, but not in a forest this time)
Altosean: Damn it
Ave! This is the second time that happened!
Ave: Look on the
bright side, this volcanic heat's nice and warm
Qvla: >_< I
can't stand it!
Zig-Urd: Yeah
Key-you-wan: Why
were we mute last chapter?
Zig-Urd: You baka,
they set ignore on us XD
Key-you-wan:
Oh...o_o'
Karmel: Too hot!
Can I str- *wokked*
Scion: I know i'm
not the sound effects girl, but not a soul will allow you to strip in here
Altosean: O_o
Ova: Indeed, we
need to find our way out
Scion:
Wheeeeeeeee! On the other hand, where's the soda truck we raided on the way
here?
Karmel: Ova is
trying to get it across! XD
Ova: No fair ;_;
Altosean: Look on
the bright side, the ground's only 120 degrees farenheit, the magma is MUCH
hotter
Qvla: Quit making
me flinch! =<
Ave:
Sodahhhhhhhhh! >:O
(Meanwhile)
Douhan: Damn it!
Are those two mechs done yet?
Nolrex: WAI!
*grabs Gawd Gumdan and warps away with it*
Prince Golferg:
Gawd Gumdan just got swiped off us, but we still have Gawd Genrye
Douhan: What?
Damn! Is it done?
Prince Golferg:
Hahaha, only 85%
Douhan: Those
fools. Damn you Bluh-ack Thang!
Breedon: What?!
But i'm just holding an axe the size of New Zealand! *whacks Douhan and Golferg
over*
Breedon:
Floyd! Blindest! Take care of these
morons and just kick their asses for me
Both: Yes sir!
Breedon: *warps
away*
Douhan: Urgh!
Unleash the ZK224...NOW!
ZK224: ...Hi! =P *draws
on Douhan's face*
Prince Golferg:
Sir...there's a little defect in that female anderoid we made
Douhan: What is
it?
Scientist: Its
defective, it kills and annoys!
Douhan: *insert
scream from Excel Saga* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
ZK224: Aw, I won't
kill yet. I was sadly programmed by you creeps anyway? Where's the cuteness
when I need it? =<
Some scientist in
a lab: Shhhh ^-^ Don't tell them i'm going to reprogram it soon
ZK224: *stays
silent*
Douhan: Well now,
ZK224, your assignment is to take out those menaces from Seika!
ZK224: The Kros
Nights? Piece of cake XD But can I at least get some reward here? ;_;
Douhan: I dunno,
we gave you the ability to do anything in terms of punishing defeated opponents
you know
ZK224: XD I didn't
know
Blindest: Ummm,
Floyd?
Floyd: What is it,
brother?
Blindest: What
should we do against this anderoid that was modified?
Floyd: I'd hate to
take out a precious thing such as this, but..
ZK224: No! I dun
wanna fight you two *generates wind into her hands and blows the two away in a
huge tornado*
Both: Blargh!
*fall out of a window*
Douhan: Hahaha,
well done
ZK224: =\ I guess
its time to stop them
(Back to our
bakas)
Altosean: We're
almost out =X
Ave: I feel like
i'm gonna catch on fire!
Ova: Armor may
meltttttt
Karmel: I want
some candy =\
Qvla: *turns into
Bayleef, evolves* Meganium! Meg!
Scion: *slashes
Qvla back to normal*
Qvla: =\
Altosean: Yes! An
exit!
Ave: About time!
=\
Zig-Urd: Phew
Key-you-wan: Right
where I beat Zig in a game of cards
Zig-Urd: Quit rubbing it in!
ZK224: Not so
fast!
Zig-Urd: Eh?!
Key-you-wan: An
anderoid...
Zain: Damn it! You
left me in the dust!
ZK224: I have to
kill all of you since its my programming
Qvla: ...
Ova: Not so fast!
I remember your coding and it means your the 224th member of Douhan's army
ZK224: Exactly,
the Zephyr Knights. Now...DIE! *fires beams at everyone*
Altosean: Urgh!
Men! Dodge!
Ave: This sucks!
*hit, but not feeling pain*
Ova: Urgh!
Karmel: I want my
mommy! >_<
Scion: ...I'll
kill you first
Ave: I summon the
Flan Swordsman! Flan Swordsman! Flan Slash attack!
ZK224: ><
*fires missles off*
Kros Nights: Urgh,
these burn
Zig-Urd: ...Feh!
Lying Sword attack! *slashes the coded fighter in the back*
ZK224: AGH! *chibi
rays everyone!*
Kros Nights: Ah!
ZK224: ^_^ *plays
with all of them* Tehehe
(All of our heroes
revert after a whole day)
Altosean: What the
hell?
Everyone else:
*silent*
Zain: Who the heck
is this orange haired girl?
Ave: XP
Zig-Urd:
Guys....but this is their third android, and since Douhan's gone Dr Wily,
she'll be obsolete soon
Ave: Any ideas?
*holds up sign*
ZK224: Call me
Tate =\
Altosean:
...Obsolete? And she was assigned to kill us? What should we do, she isn't
doing her objective after we blabbered
Tate: I was
programmed to annoy and kill all of you, but hearing that i'll be obsolete
makes me wanna cry! ;_;!
Altosean: Even
though this is an android, I feel soft all of a sudden *goes to wipe away the
tears*
Ave: No fair! Why
does he get to be the womanizer *holds up Baka sign* Oh...this XD
Ova: Odd, an
android with a lot of human emotions, what should we do?
Scion: Destroy
her?
Tate: *cowers
back* I would've allowed it if I didn't hear the truth!
Scion: ...Urgh!
Why is the director this bored to even put this in!
Ave: Twinkies! XO
Mudau: *out of
nowhere* DOUBLE TWINKIES! *disappears*
Zain: Hm
Tate: Thats it!
I'll annoy you, but I won't kill any of you. Its my makers that will pay =\
Zig-Urd: These
anderoids Douhan has been making have been sold on EBay, but the buyer kills
them and steals their brain, putting it into machines...
Key-you-wan: Yes
Altosean: So your
familiar with this deep subject, I see
Zain: This is
boring!
Tate: Nyah! *draws
tic-tac-toe on Zain's face*
Zain: Agh!
Tate: ^_^
Altosean: Hahaha,
we could use company like that. Now where were we?
Gawd Genrye: Hmph!
There's those fools
Key-you-wan: Man!
No fair!
Nolrex:
DEROOOOOOOO GUMDANNNNNNNN!!
*Gawd Gumdan, the
top secret project from the Zephyr Knights, appears*
Nolrex: Mudau! Its
time to aid our fellow friends
Mudau: What? I was
just finishing my doritos!
Director: You
baka! Those were CHEETOS! *sues*
Mudau: o_o
Gawd Genrye:
...WHAT?! URGH! MY OWN FRIEND IS BEING USED AGAINST ME!
Nolrex: Time to
send you back to the lab. Seeheekah Tenyouken! *fires off huge yellow orb at
Gawd Genrye*
Gawd Genrye:
Blargh! Back to the drawing boarddddddddd *gets blasted east*
Mudau: The est is
burning red!
Director: Est?!
Where?
Nolrex: He meant
East
Director: Aw =<
Altosean: I can't
say just men anymore, but lets continue to Seika
Tate: =X *cling*
Altosean: o_o Wha?
Zain: *follows
boredly*
(As our heroes
finally get an odd anderoid to their side, they finally find Seika, but its
so...lets say, guarded. Will they find a way in, or are they just going to be
like molasses in terms of entrance? Find out on the next episode of Kros
Nights! Because our cards are only 99 cents)
Ave: I bought them
ALL at a 99 cent store, stupid *raises sign* then again so am I!
Zain: No fair! I
only got a few lines!
Chapter 26: Return
of the Fajita (Wha?!)
(Captain's Log
Number 58258285828732784872: I hate Star Trek, so i'll just say our heroes are
trying to get into Seika)
Altosean: Urgh!
These guys are wearing retarded suits
Ave: O_o
Ova: Spandex
>_<
Zain: Gah, what a
dull crowd
Tate: *continues
to paint Altosean cyan before he notices*
Scion: Lets rush
in! These Star Trek outfits on them are nasty
Zig-Urd: We're now
the fashion police?
Key-you-wan: o_o
Tate: Lookie!
*points at tunnel*
Altosean: *notices
paint* Hey!
Tate: *giggles* I
said I would still be annoying
Zain: *keeps his
distance*
Zig-Urd: Eh? Lets
go!
(They all enter a
tunnel which would make rats rather prefer having rabies)
Ave: Mike Rotch!
Mike Rotch!
Ova: *wham*
Ave: Whoops
Altosean: It sure
smells in here
Ave: Yeah
>_<
(Upstairs...)
Cerra: WAI! OUR
DEFENSES HAVE BEEN PENETRATED! WHAT SHALL WE DO?!
Clarion: I dunno
*falls over*
Cerra: Lord
Fruitcakkkkke! We've been penetrated
Fruitcake: Urgh!
What nut gave me this pathetic name?!
Director: *nowhere
close to there, laughing*
Fruitcake: Go!
Keep the security up in here!
Both: Okies!
(Back
downstairs...)
Altosean: D'oh! We
sealed in by tentacle monsters!
Ave: Ummm...its
time to use Armageddon!
Ova: You baka!
That will destroy all of Seika
Ave: Whoops
<insert picture
of sun supernovaing, destroying all the planets here>
Karmel: Wtf? We're
not dead!
Ave: Thats a shock
XD!
Fruitcake: O_o
*presses button* Those fools
Qvla: AHHHH! FLASH
FLOODDDDDDD
*tunnel is full
with water*
(50 billion ligh-)
Director:
Lightyears aren't years, moron! *thonk*
(A few seconds
later...)
Ave: Medic
Tate: *playing
with Scion's hair*
Scion: Off me!
Tate: o_o
Karmel: Ah...who
shoved me in cold water
Qvla: Meg!
*whapped*
Altosean: Ah, i'm
awake now
Qvla: *reverts*
x_X
Altosean: Everyone
okay?
Key-you-wan: No!
This big metal lug is on my foot! OW OW OW!
Zig-Urd: Quit
whining
Zain: Your sitting
on me!
Zig-Urd: *gets up*
Sorry
Ova: *gets off
Key-you-wan's foot*
Altosean: *runs
upstairs*
Altosean: HALT!
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! ALL YOUR SKITTLES CAN AND WILL BE USED
AGAINST YOU IN THE JUNK FOOD OF LAW!
Cerra: o_O
Clarion: What the
hell?
Ave: YEAH! AND
WE'LL EAT THE SKITTLES TOO! =P!
Fruitcake:
Oh...the horror!
Altosean: Lets
plot our attempt at getting Seika back into our hands
(And so, the bakas
took the B.L.O.G. building to plot on how the heck to stop Douhan. Will they
stop Douhan's Rowbawt Massturs? Find out on the next episode of Kros Nights)
Fruitcake: Because
the author was a moron naming me =<
Chapter 27: The
Undersea Base and Hikaru's truth
(Our heroes use
the B.L.O.G.'s computers to find Douhan's Undersea base. The base is considered
such, but really its too full of kelp and...just say too many soda cans and
plenty of trash XD. Ave almost drowned and Zain...basically got a shocking
experience. Oh yeah, and the fourth wall is on EBay)
Altosean: Urgh,
that was a long swim
Tate: x_x
Qvla: Hmmm
Ave: *spits out a
geyser of water*
Ova: *uses wipers
to clean off the windows on his firetruck body* =X
Zain: x_x *fried
by sword* Next time lets use the sub!
Ave: Subway?! CAN
WE EAT THERE! XD
Karmel: *facepalm*
Scion: Stupidity
wins! Gardenspadality!
Zig-Urd: Hm, are
ALL of these friend of yours stupid?
Key-you-wan: Don't
call them stupid, I saw you try to swim with a great white shark and invite it
to bite your arm off!
Zig-Urd: o_o
Zain: *repeatedly
gets zapped by his sword*
Altosean: o_O Want
fries with that?
Zain: Very funny
(On the other side
of the Fortress, the Thang is trying to make its judgment)
Breedon: Give up
or i'll slam you with an axe the size of Russia!
Blindest: Yeah!
Android army
leader: ...
Floyd: He isn't
responding
Hikaru: Feh
Mudau: This sucks!
My Mehgah "Particle" Cannon is out of ammo!
Nolrex: You baka!
It USES ammo!
Mudau: Damn
Hikaru: So this is
what my army was made into...
Twinkies: HELP
HELP HELP! AH NOT DOWN THERE! DON'T EAT USSSSS! *all get eaten*
Androids: Mmmm,
tasty
Hikaru: *pulls out
a huge spear you'd expect to be a skyscraper* DIE! *slams the spear into the
leader*
Breedon: By the
Thang's Judgment we all sentence you fiends to death! *pulls out the axe the
size of Russia, slams it into an android, which falls in two*
Floyd:
RITALINNNNNNNN *splits into multiple images and runs through four androids*
Blindest: AH I
CAN'T SEE! *blindly cleaves enemies in his way*
Nolrex: Feh, i'll
show how its done! GUILLOTINE BLADE *drops a huge blade on an android*
Mudau: Wahveraidur
Bazooka! *fires shots at androids*
Hikaru: *twirls
the spear madly, impales the very last android with it* So they are all down!
Lets go!
???: TAKE OUT
EVERY SIG!
Some boards admin:
Never! *stabs unknown person*
???: X(
(Back to our
bakas)
Altosean:
Fwahahaha! XO
Mehgahtron: Not so
fast, humans!
Ova: So its
Mehgahtron! WHAT BAKA MADE HIM COME BACK?!
Karmel: Ummm,
cheddar cheese?
Scion: The need of
getting sent back into the scrap heap
Tate: Why are we
all being odd all of a sudden? XD
Zain: ...Someone!
GET ME RUBBER! NOWWWWW!!
Qvla: *dumps
liquid rubber on Zain* There we go =P
Zain: O_o *slash*
Qvla: *turns into
a Meganium* Meg!
Altosean: *smacks
Shut up sign on Qvla, reverting him* Shut up!
Qvla: *silenced*
Mehgahtron: *fires
guns at everyone*
Tate: Meanie! My
clothes are burned up! *reveals a huge missle and fires at Mehgahtron*
Mehgahtron: Wha?!
<insert nuclear
explosion here>
Mehgahtron: OW YOU
SHOT ME YOU A-HOLE!
Tate: XD
Ave: I summon The
Boombox of Doom!
Boombox: *plays
Kung Fu Fighting in background, everyone cringes*
Altosean: Ummm
*slashes Mehgahtron repeatedly*
(30 mins later...)
Altosean: Wargh!
*continues slashing*
Announcer:
ULTRAAAA COMBOOOOOOOO!
Mehgahtron: *falls
over like luncheon meat, piece by piece*
Ova: No! That was
too easy!
Karmel: Twinkie!
=P
Scion: I have a
feeling we'll cut some foes soon anyway =X
Zig-Urd: Ummm,
guys?
Altosean: What?
Key-you-wan: The
fortress is rising...
Kros Nights: DAMN
TWINKIESSSSSSS!!
All: *teleport
out*
Golferg: No fair! My
hair's gray now!
Astoria: *Nelson
laugh* Ha ha!
Golferg: Shut up!
*punch*
Astoria: *takes
out Miracle Sword and beats the crap outta Golferg, gets warped off*
Golferg: x_x
(On a costal town
not far from the base)
Altosean:
Everyone! We sadly have to split up-
(The entire area
rumbles, and suddenly!)
Karmel: Look
there!
Tate: Its the REAL
base >_< It also has the "laser"
Dr. Evil: WHO THE
HELL STOLE MY "LASER"?!
Kros Nights: We
dunno, we're with stupid
Tate: Since I was
made there, its split into three sectors, and only one leads to Douhan =\
Altosean: We have
to split up, Ave...take the Alpha sector, i'll take the Omega sector, and
everyone else takes the Sigma sector.
Ave: Whats a
sector?
Ova: ARE YOU THAT
STUPID?!
Ave: *holds up
Baka sign*
Scion: Can't mess
with him =X
Zig-Urd: Ummm,
Lord Altosean
Altosean: What?
Key-you-wan: There
are actually four sectors, the Sigma one is split into two, we'll take the
Sigma 2 one, everyone else takes the Sigma 1.
Altosean: Agreed!
Move out!
Kros Nights:
BLING! BLING! BLING! BLINGITYYYYY!! *teleport*
Zain: Hey! Wait
for me! *gets teleported by someone*
(Our heroes begin
to infiltrate the base, but not before chaos resumes on top of the undersea
base. Since they are split up, what will happen next? Find out on the next-
*muffled*)
Director: Duct
Tape is so useful
(Meanwhile...)
Girl: Nyuuuuuuuuu~
Karmel:
Ummm...uhhh...Nyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~
Girl: XD! *rolls
on floor laughing*
Karmel: Why are
you laughing?
Girl: You couldn't
get it right ^-^
Karmel: Oh... o_o
Chapter 28: The
Thang's Judgment! The Two Gawds!
(The Bluh-ack
Thang's members are still in the undersea base, trying to unlock some
information with the computers that are ran with lots and lots of spam cans.
Yes, and they do run Windows backwards)
Computers:
*demonic voices*
Mudau: Agh! My
ears!
Stable computer:
"If you play the Windows CD backwards you hear demonic voices. But that's nothing compared to what happens
if you play it forward. If you play it
forward, it installs windows."
Nolrex: Damn!
Hikaru: Maybe
thats why they won't shut up...
Breedon: Can't we
just beat the crap outta these computers?
Others: NO!
Breedon: Damn!
Floyd: Damn!
Blindest: You
didn't even agree with Breedon!
Floyd: DAMN!
Mudau: Can we stop
saying damn?
Blindest: No! Damn
is your god!
Hikaru: I don't
GIVE a damn!
Everyone else:
*shuts up*
Hikaru: Crap! This
says Gawd Genrye is suppose to attack the base very soon here!
Nolrex: Then lets
get read to kick its ass then!
Mudau: Who's ass?
Nolrex: YOUR ass!
Mudau: Wait! It
was that Gawd thingy
Breedon: That was
Gawd Genrye you idiots!
Hikaru: Agh, well
now
Golferg: Come out
you wimps! I'm running Gawd Genrye to pwn you!
Nolrex:
Righhhhhhhhttttt!
Hikaru: Men! Ready
to assemble!
Everyone else: Yes
sir!
Golferg: Hmph,
wimps
Nolrex:
DEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GUMDANNNNNNNNNNNNN! *snaps fingers, Mars completely
defrosts, Windows 98 runs backwards*
Director: Ah shit!
(A huge piece of
junk pops out of the ground, armed with huge hands and overexaggerated wings.
Oh lets just keep going!)
Hikaru: *all of
the group jump up* YAH!
Nolrex: BLARGH!
Breedon: Feh!
Blindest: Pwn!
Floyd: Sandwich!
Mudau: *ends up
going up feet first* CANNON SPIK- *hits tree, car alarm goes off*
Hikaru: Idiot o_O
Mudau: Whoops!
Nolrex: Your not
Cammy, get over it
Mudau: *goes up
head first* SHORYUKEN!
Bluh-ack Thang:
*all land in Gawd Gumdan*
Hikaru: Prepare to
die, Prince with ummm...
Nolrex: Thats
strawberry red hair o_O
Mudau: Isn't that
strawberry blonde?
Nolrex: Your
confused =P
Mudau: *directed
at Golferg* HAHAH! POSER!
Golferg: Thats it!
Genrye Punch!
Hikaru:
Bahkentehruu Gawd Shield!
(A huge shield
appears out of nowhere)
Golferg: Grrr! I
WANT MY MONEY BACK!
Mudau: I stole
your money! ^_^
Golferg:
NOOOOOOOOO!!
Hikaru: Just to
make a long story short! This middle finger of mine is burning white! It tells
me to flick you off! HERE WE GO!
Bluh-ack Thang:
BAHKENTEHRUU GAWD STUPIDDDDDDDDDDD FINGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
(The r echos too
far, Space Station Mir suddenly reappears in space and falls back down, not to
mention people are screaming and writing in more bad reviews about this story)
Gawd Gumdan: *huge
middle finger slams into Gawd Genrye*
Gawd Genrye: Damn
twinkies! *blows up*
Hikaru: Uh oh...
Base: Bomb
ativated!
Hikaru: MOVE ZIG
FOR GREAT JUSTICE!
Nolrex: Yes sir!
*hits thrusters on max*
(The fortress
"blows shit up", with the Gawd Gumdan barely flying away. Back to our
heroes, will they persevere over Douhan? Or are they going to be plushies for
the local kiddies back in Seika? Find out on the next episode of Kros Nights!)
Kros Nights: NO
FAIR! WE DIDN'T APPEAR IN THIS EPISODE!
Chapter 29:
Yougeeohhhhhhh! Its time to D-D-D-Dual! (Ze Impbossehbles)
(The Baka sign man
wanders through the fortress)
Ave: Grrr! Ph33r
my bakaness! *holds up sign too many times*
Guy in background:
POSER!
Ave: Shaddap!
Guy in background:
Moron!
Ave: *throws shoe,
misses target*
Girl: MEANIE! ;.;
*zaps Ave*
Ave: Yow! Okay
okay okay I won't throw anymore shoes >_<
Girl: Hee hee
Ave: Agh,
frieddddd
(On the other side
of the wall...)
???: Shh, is that
the Baka sign man?
Ave: >:O STHU!
MY SIGN! *holds up high*
Coyelmon:
Coyelmon!
Flewidmon:
Flewidmon!
Maltiplymon:
Maltiplymon!
Unison: We are ze
Impbossehbles!
Ave: Oh
great...not THIS!
Ave: You guys
should go back to your 1969 television and burn in hell. Let me allow you all
to burn in hell
Tate: Yeah! Light
up the fire! *giggles, disappears*
Ave: How the hell
did she get here?
Impbossehbles: We
are the Rowbawt Massturs Douhan sent to defeat you
Ave: I summon the
Kamikaze Watermelon!
Flewidmon: *flies
out of the way, Coyelmon gets hit*
Coyelmon: Damn!
*flings lousy projectile at Ave*
Ave: As I thought
*ignores pain* But the baka lives! =P
Ave: Come and hit
me! XO
Maltiplymon:
MALTIPLY! *sends malt balls at Ave*
Ave: *eats all of
them* Tasty! But they taste nasty! *pukes* I summon Black Eyed Peas Dragon!
Impbossehbles: ?!
Ave: Black Eyed
Peas Dragon! PEA SOUP ATTACK!
Impbossehbles:
AGHHHHH!
Flewidmon: *flies
into Ave, chokes*
Ave: *holds
breath*
(30 mins later)
Ave: *breaks free*
Thats it! *lightning strikes*
Impbossehbles: ?!
Ave: I SUMMON THE
CAN OF WHOOPASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!
Impbossehbles:
NOOOOOOO! WE'VE BEEN PWNED!
Ave: YES! NOW BOW
TO MY BAKANESS!!
Impbossehbles:
*fade into nothingness*
Ave: Ummm *begins
singing out of boredom* You're really-
You're totally-By all means you're stupid, stupid stupid
Bakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabaka
Director: o_o
NS: It fits his
personality
Director: Shush,
we know your secret
Ave: What do you
want to say So what is it Eei! Stupid, stupid stupid
Bakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabaka
Director: Ummm
(As Ave will not
stop singing so annoyingly in the background, where are our other heroes? Find
out on the next episode of Kros Nights!)
Ave: Read it
horizontally bakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabaka Read it vertically
bakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabakabaka
Sound Effects
Girl: *kicks Ave out of the concluding section of the chapter*
Chapter 30:
"But mommy, I really think I saw a dragon! It fell through the roof and
landed on the redheaded guy!" "LIES!"
(Once again, all
of our heroes are hopelessly lost. This time in a fortress. o_o;)
Blindest: It's too
damn dark in here!
Floyd: You're
blind anyway, brother!
(Okay, maybe the
Bluh-ack Thang is lost, too.)
Paige: I told you
to go THAT way, but NO, you had to go down the 'really cool-looking corridor'!
Espilan: You're
the one who burned the map in a campfire!
(What the hell?
They're all lost! And as luck would have it, they're all in the same damn room
XD)
Blindest: *walks
into Espil* Ow! Brother! Watch where you are going!
Floyd: But I am
behind you, and you have slammed into some red-headed guy!
Espilan: Yeah,
tell me about it. Who the hell are you two anyway?
Floyd + Blindest:
We are Floyd and Blindest, of the Sour Thangs, of the Bluh-ack Thang!
Espilan: Well, I
am Espilan! Espilan of Zyndar! That Espilan!
Paige: Jeez. We don't
need a damn Sain mock.
Espilan: XD Sorry.
(Timing sucks.)
Karmel: ...and we
take a right at this--WHAT THE HELL.
Altosean: It's
you!!
Ave: *appears*
That's my line! >:O *disappears*
Ova: Floyd and
Blindest!
Zain: Espil and
Paige!
(Just now, the
wall directly above Blindest bursts, and someone, or something, falls on him.)
Blindest: OWWAH!
Brother! Must you slam me over the head so?!
Floyd: Use your
erroneous eyeballs, you twit!
Blindest: Huh? You
mean it's not you or the Espilan guy?
Zain: IT'S YOU!!!
:D
Sara: Huh?! *turns
around* ZEEEE~!!! *glomp*
Zain: @_@ Hey, not
in front of everyone!
Blindest: I cannot
see anyway. >:P
Floyd: Shut up,
brother! We are in the face of enemies!
Altosean: Shut up
with your twinkie-rotting script lines! This battle begins!
Espilan: Well,
Altosean, you're technically not in this chapter.
Altosean: Damnit.
Off I go then! *leaves*
Karmel: And what,
leave us here alone?!
Espilan: Not
quite.
Qvla: That's what
you think. We're stuck with these two. o_o'
Floyd + Blindest:
We are Floyd and Blindest of the Sour Thangs! Now you will taste misery as we
defeat you!
Paige: But
Blindest can't even see, and Floyd is just... Floyd. :\
Floyd: I'm...
what?! "JUST" Floyd?!
(Another cracked
ceiling collapses, this time on top of Zain.)
Zain: NUU! MY
SWORD IS ALL DUSTY AND CRAPS NOW!
Sara: Oh, lord.
¬.¬;
Espilan: O_o;
Paige: Shut up
already! We need the damn final battle scene to begin!
Floyd: Which then
we shall defeat you!
Blindest: But...
Brother! What the girl said is true! I really cannot see now!! *walks into a
wall*
Floyd: What
trickery...?!
Zain: Whoever is
on top of me can get off now, I've been a chair for enough people in this damn
story!
Ova: There's the
damned fourth wall bash. ._.;
Zain: *rolls over,
forcing Breedon to the floor next to him*
Floyd: Breedon!
Are you alright?!
Breedon: Shut up,
you twit! My country-sized axe says I should hit you a homer! o_o;
Floyd: o_o;
Paige: Jeez. Will
the typical filler nonsense even end?
Zain: Hey! Breaking
the fourth wall is MY job! >:O
(After much
arguing, and much rigging of stuff by Paige, and much more of Espilan acting
like Sain...)
Zain: Right, so
the quote, good guys, unquote stand over here.
Breedon: And us
bad guys over here...
Espilan: Where do
I stand again?
Paige: In the
bucket.
Espilan: Oh,
right. *stands in the bucket*
Floyd: O_O;
Idiot...
Blindest: I still
cannot see, so how do I expect to fight, brother?! *walks into another wall*
Zain: o_o;
(Insert damn loud
roar here.)
Espilan: The hell?
Sara: Did I goof
on my summoning AGAIN?! o_o;
Zain: I dunno.
Sara: *smack*
Zain: >_O;
Wrong answer, I take it.
(Insert gigantic
red dragon falling through the ceiling and landing on Espil. Oh, and the
bucket, too.)
Espilan: MY
TWINKIES!
Zain: o_o;
Ova: o_o;
Qvla: o_o;
Karmel: o_o;
Tate: Why haven't
I gotten any lines yet?! This author sucks! o_o;
Paige: o_o;
Floyd: o_o;
Blindest: I still
can't see! x_x;
Breedon: Why did I
know that would happen?!
Dragon: *throws
something at the wall*
Something:
*bounces off, hits Zain in the head, knocks Zain over, lands on him*
Zain: Damnit! Now
I'm a chair again!
Dragon: *mock Ev
quote* I R TEH NOISEMAKER RAWR.
Espilan: Damnit,
get off me! Zain's supposed to be the chair!
Dragon: NUUUU.
Espilan: Damnit!
;-;
Zain: Look, can we
just beat the stuffing out of it and then beat the stuffing out of each other?
Floyd: I see no
reason to disagree with that.
Blindest: I see
nothing in general. >:P
Ova: Let's just
beat up the damn dragon. >:O
Everyone else:
OKAY! *beat up the dragon*
Dragon: *only has
about 120HP and is defeated within seconds*
Sara: Damnit!
WAIT! I'm not done yet!
(Insert gigantic
FWOOSH here.)
Blindest: What is
going on, brother?!
Floyd: It is the
other girl! She is casting a terrible spell and cannot halt it!
Blindest: You need
to be more descriptive, brother!
Floyd: Shut up!!
(Gigantic FWOOSH
ends here.)
Heh-Man: Heh-Man
OMGWTF!!!!11111oneoneone
Espilan: NO! Not
you! NO!!
Heh-Man: Espilan
ONGWTF!!!!11111oneoneone
Espilan: *runs
away screaming like Karmel on a sugar high after being doused with cold water*
Zain: Ahh, he's
useless anyway. >:P
Paige: So are you.
>:\
* Zain now has the
Failure ISC. (again.)
Zain: Damnit.
Ova: What the hell
is this "Heh-Man" anyway?
Qvla: Dunno, let's
beat it up! >:D
Ova: OKAY!! >:D
(Qvla and Ova beat
the stuffings out of Heh-Man like a SysISC match of Saf against Night. >:D)
Heh-Man:
OMGWTF!!!!111one I LSOTORZ!!!!1
* Heh-Man has quit
IRC (Quit: Connection reset by peer)
Floyd: Now that
both threats are gone, we must fight each other!
Blindest: Have at
you! *swings his sword*
Floyd: *avoids the
swing* Not me, you twit!
Blindest: Right,
right! *swings again*
Breedon: *jumps
back* No! Blindest! Control yourself!
Paige: Blindest
turns about 135 degrees to his left and slashes!
Blindest: *rigged,
does so*
Breedon: AAGH! MY
AXE! YOU KILLED MY AXE! *runs away crying*
Floyd: That
trickery again! You are the problem! *attacks Paige*
(Insert huge
metallic clang here.)
Espilan: *blocked
the attack with his hugeass emerald hammer* You will not.
Floyd: I...
...shit.
Espilan: *overhead
whams Floyd, and doesn't miss like he did in Chapter 24*
Floyd: *pancaked
like a Peahat under the Skull Hammer in Wind Waker, poofs into purple smoke,
and leaves an item ball*
Zain: *hacks the
item ball open*
* Zain has been
rigged and automatically misses this attack!
Zain: Damnit!
*tries again*
Item Ball: *pops,
flinging hearts everywhere*
Link: *runs
through the room, grabbing every last one before anyone else can* HAHA!
Zain: ;-;
Espilan: .....
Something:
*finally gets up and looks around*
Link: *runs back
into the room* O_O; Crap!
Kirby: HIIIII~!
>:O *copies Link's bow attack and shoots him in the butt*
Link: AAH! *jumps
about 30 feet into the air, through the hole int he ceiling Breedon came
through, and lands in a moat somewhere*
Zain: o_o;
Karmel: o_o;
Ova: Oh, no. We're
not starting THAT again.
Tate: Hey look!
This is my second line in the Chapter! This author really DOES suck!
Blindest: You have
forgotten, I am still here! >:O
Paige: But you
still can't see. >:P
Blindest: Don't
rub it in! T_T *runs away*
(Insert another
gigantic FWOOSH here.)
Espilan: AGAIN?!
Jeez... o_o;
Sara: It's not
even me this time! :O
UFO: *comes along
and abducts Blindest as he's running away*
Blindest: Whoa!
What the...! ..!!! NO! NOOOO!!!!! *abducted*
UFO: *flies away
at ludicrous speed*
Zain: @_@
...They've done plaid!
Sara: Maybe we
should check Mr. Video Rental to see if they have any copies of Spaceballs so
we can confirm the mockery.
Zain: *facepalm*
Espilan: Damn
twinkies...
Director: Espil!!
That's my line!!
Espilan: Right. :P
Paige: Okay, now
all this crap's finally over with. Last comments from the co-author?
Espilan: Fine,
fine... Here goes...
1) Sorry to Saf for not doing too much with
Kirby in this chapter. o_o; *dodge wok*
2) I saw no mockery of the "Four
Fangs", so don't blame me for what I did with the "Sour Thangs"
3) I R TEH NOISEMAKER RAWR. *shot away by
the Director*
Director: Good.
Now I can continue this damn story MY way.
Chapter 31: Cloud
Strife gets pwned (The commander bakas move in)
(Zig-Urd and
Key-you-wan wander around, basically just walking in z's around the fortress)
Zig-Urd: I told
ya! Move zig!
Key-you-wan: You
know what you doing?
Zig-Urd: MOVE ZIG!
FOR GREAT JUSTICE!
Key-you-wan: o_o
Zig-Urd, what were you drinking?
Zig-Urd: Vodka!
And i'm proud of it! XD
Key-you-wan:
Better keep walking...
(5 hours later)
Zig-Urd: Urgh, we
aren't getting anywhere
Key-you-wan:
CHEETOS! I NEED MORE CHEETOS!
Director:
*munching on cheetos*
Key-you-wan: No
fair! Hand them over!
Zig-Urd: ...
(5 more hours)
Key-you-wan: We
made it! Finally! My feet!
Zig-Urd: But my
arms are in joy
???: Who goes
there?!
Key-you-wan: Agh!
I feel like a weirdo is passing by
Zig-Urd: The Lying
shall beat them all!
Key-you-wan: Time
for the Gaybarge!
Cloud Strife: Aye,
so its you fools!
Zig-Urd: You don't
deserve that sword the size of Jupiter!
PA: Isn't
someone's ego that large?!
Guy at counter:
*picks up PA, THROWS*
PA: x_X *stuff
falls out of bag*
Guy at counter:
-=PA LOSES 100 PANTS!=-
Director: wth?
Key-you-wan: Ahem,
will you shut up back there?
Director: Damn!
Zig-Urd: Time to
beat down Cloud XO
Key-you-wan: Cloud
Strife got ran over by a Gaybarge! Gaybarge! *hits Cloud with the Gaybarge*
Cloud Strife: This
is messed up *attacks with Omnislash*
Zig-Urd: *lies,
Omnislash has no effect*
Cloud Strife: O_o
Key-you-wan: Hah,
you can't beat us! We're too l337 for you!
Zig-Urd: Yes!
Cloud Strife:
Ummm...uhhh
Zig-Urd:
Twasmettall timeeeeee
Key-you-wan:
Righto
Cloud Strife: This
is getting stupid...
Zig-Urd and
Key-you-wan: LINK CABLE POWERS! ACTIVATE! *connect two GBAs together*
Cloud Strife: ...
Zig-Urd: ...
Key-you-wan:
Hahaha! You shall fear my outfit! I demand for! *Dr Evil pose* One million
dollars
Zig-Urd: ...x_x
Key-you-wan: Whats
wrong Zig-Urd?
Zig-Urd: Agh! I
look like Sailor Chibi Moon! *gets patted on the head* Hey! No fair!
Tate: But your
kawaii =P *teleports off*
Key-you-wan: XD!
Ummm...anyhow
Cloud Strife:
*notices he's in his odd outfit again* Agh! Not this! I don't deserve this
dress again!
Zig-Urd: See what
ya did? You screwed all our outfits!
Key-you-wan: Maybe
I should've got a CLEAR GBA
Zig-Urd: Wasn't
fruity for nothing
Cloud Strife:
Fuichia and Indigo...hah, fools!
Zig-Urd: Ummm...
*pulls out N-Gage, inserts Duracell batteries*
Key-you-wan: Turn
this on! *throws it at Cloud*
Cloud Strife: ...
*turns N-Gage on, gets blown away*
Cloud Strife:
ARGH! LOOKS LIKE TEAM STRIFY'S BLASTING OFF AGAINNNNNNNNN! *turns into star*
Key-you-wan: Since
when were you pictured as cute?
Tate: *reappears,
turns Key-you-wan into a FOnewearl* Right now! And I decided to do this for no
reason! *teleports off* Hehe XD
Zig-Urd and
Key-you-wan: Greattt, not this
(The two bakas
just got pwned XD! What will happen to Altosean and whoever was ignored last
chapter? Find out on the next episode of...of...)
Director: *causes
Mario to die in SMB3* Wait wait, wrong way! *runs from Pretty Pretty Princess
ray*
Narrator: I love
being a moron near the end
Director: That was
messed up! You should've not let the Camera Girl get that *zapped*
Chapter 32:
Noydyon's Brigade! The "final" battle
(I decided to be a
moron)
Narrator: *sicks
8-bit Pacman off an Atari 2600 game on PA*
PA: o_o Not again!
*tries to godmod*
8-Bit Pacman:
*eats PA*
PA: >_<
8-Bit Pacman: I
pwn you =P Tasty, too =P!
(Anyhow, after
doing that, our leader of the Kros Nights is wandering around in the Omega
Sector of the fortress, seeming to have just been slaughtering everything for
no reason)
Altosean: Killing
spreeeeeeeee XO
Metools: *hide*
Altosean:
Damn! I need something to attack
Soldiers with
spears: *retreat*
Altosean: Wimps
-_-'
Pikmin: *have no
reason why they even appeared*
Altosean: Hm? I
think I heard something
(Meanwhile...)
Douhan: Excellent
work, the Victory Saber has been assembled. Now those Kros Nights will be
totally destroyed with this and my Mass Sell on EBay attack! Gahahaha!
ZK336: Master...
Douhan: What is
it?
ZK336: I
understand this Lord Altosean you wish to rid of is here
Douhan: Oh blazes
yes...I wish to take him out!
ZK336: I'm the
best android you ever made! Allow me to deliver the painful blow to their
leader. The Victory Saber..
Douhan: Certainly
*hands it over* Just don't DIE!
ZK336: I won't,
and if I do it was the best of battles *spins her braids as she wanders off*
Douhan: ...Grrr
(Altosean gazes
behind him, to notice that he's actually in a huge battle arena)
Altosean: So this
is where the end of that 'fro idiot happens to be
(However, our hero
does not know who the hell snuck behind him)
???: Hmph, now
isn't this who i'm programmed to kill?
Altosean:
...Another android
ZK336: ...Its time
to kill
Altosean: Blast,
you aren't defective, eh female android?
ZK336: Thats
exactly right, and I was already a human assassin in my past life! SO DIE!
*fires a barrage of missles at Altosean*
Altosean: Agh...it
hurts!
ZK336: Rururururu
*pulls out the Victory Saber and swings*
Altosean: Oh no
you don't, silly AI *flies up into the air*
ZK336: >_<
Damn! *stabs Altosean*
Altosean: Listen
kid, I know you don't got those mad l337 skills, your just another silly
android. So its time to teach you a lesson about dealing with the leader of the
Kros Nights
ZK336: ...*swings Victory Saber in front of her
again* Hehe
Altosean: Agh!
*barely blocks with Mistlelin*
ZK336: Maybe you
can join my android squad...>=) Cute little girl with a sword like
me...haha. ZK448 *evil snicker*
Altosean: I don't
think so *does his best trying to push the Victory Saber away*
ZK336: Eep! Still,
you can't beat me with this in hand
Altosean: Try me
*spin slashes*
ZK336: VICTORY
BURN! *sword glows with fury* ATTACKKKKKKK! *sends huge wave of energy at
Altosean*
Altosean:
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *stunned for a second or two*
ZK336: Give up
yet, silly little kid? *points Victory Saber at Altosean's neck*
Altosean: Hmph,
you happen to be the kid. And I have my Megumi to fight for. So here I go!
Altosean: *holds
up Mistlelin* I don't care if you have the legendary sword! You and Douhan must
have assembled it, but these cuts will not destroy ME! MISTLELIN!
ATTACKKKKKKKKKKK!! *slices a huge black slash onto the android*
ZK336:
...I...can't...be..lieve...this...*falls over, sparking*
Altosean: I hated
to hurt you, but you pressed my limit
ZK336: Well met,
sir...I didn't expect this...
Altosean: Can you
please stop being soft? I barely spared your older sister
ZK336: ...But
thats why I couldn't bring myself to keep going, my objective was a failure,
and i'm nearly going to blow up
Altosean: I have
to beat the crap outta Douhan, so at least finish this sentence
ZK336: ...
Altosean: What is
it now? I have a love to reunite with you know
ZK336:
Megumi...sir?
Altosean: How the
heck did you know?
ZK336: I...I
noticed she was locked away in here. . .
Altosean: Please!
Save your SPARK! I understand you came to kill me, but I would do anything to
save Megumi
ZK336: Thats the
point, your memory of your love...you deserve the key to victory more than I do
Altosean: Memory?
ZK336: Even though I will die off, remember our fight...and save your love!
Altosean: -_-'
These type of fights make me a little sick. Listen Director, I want to file a
lawsuit!
ZK336: But you
sound like such a little kid at heart >:O
Altosean: XD How
so? =X
ZK336: *paints a
few hearts on Altosean's face* Like this! =P Now...Farewell *explodes*
Altosean:
Waiittttttttt...the Victory Saberrrrrrrrrrr!! *notices it disappear in a
teleport*
Altosean: Urgh,
that prized weapon. Why'd it go away?
Director: Because
I thought the Metroid way was BEST! XD! *pwned again* Look! Everyone can stop
pwning me now
Guy at Counter:
You brought it upon yourself, Bry
Director: HEY! So
much for my "cloak"
Altosean: Hmmm
*touches the hearts on his face* Okay, that was odd. But maybe there was a
reason. She was Douhan's best assassin after all *wanders ahead*
Soldier up ahead:
What?! She's been defeated? Urgh...and we had the Victory Saber in our grasp!
<insert walkie
talktie contacting here>
Douhan: Grrr, she
shouldn't have gotten into battle. Keffkah!
Keffkah:
Uwhehehehe, yes sir?
Douhan: Make the
idiot go mad! I do not want him getting near
Keffkah: You have
my honesty on that one! *teleports away*
Altosean: Megumi,
where are ya? I thought you were doing a voice actress role, but maybe I was
misunderstood...
Altosean: Hm? I
heard a stupid clown-esque laugh! SHOW YOURSELF VERMIN! *readies*
Keffkah: Uwhehehehehe
*appears in a warp* You are a fool to think you'll take Douhan out alive!
Altosean: You know
what, wuss? I'm sick of you, I could take all of you on at once in fact! Now!
COME AND GET ME!
Keffkah: *spreads
out wings and takes to the sky*
Altosean: Okay,
this is REALLY sucking...
Keffkah: *fires
off a huge wave of energy at Altosean*
Altosean: Mirror
Blade attack! *twirls his sword, which acts like a mirror as he swings it*
Keffkah: Agh!
Nailed by my own attack!
Altosean: Thats
right, stupid
Keffkah: *engulfs
Altosean in a huge damaging aura* NOW HOW ABOUT THISSSSSSSS?
Altosean: Urgh,
this is getting stupider by the damn moment
Keffkah: You won't
even live through this! *Fallen One*
Altosean: x_x
Keffkah: Hah! See?
I already crushed you!
(1 hour later)
Douhan: Hmph, well
done
Keffkah: ...
Altosean: *gets
back up* I will NOT fall any longer. BECAUSE I CANNOT TAKE DEFEAT!
Espil: Hmm
* Altosean now has
the AutoCrit ISC
Altosean: YES! YOU
WILL LET HER GO!
Douhan: o_o'
*teleports away*
Keffkah:
What...the hell?
Altosean: *glows*
Mistlelin! Demon Wrath attack! *twirls his Mistlelin, slices Keffkah many times
over*
Keffkah: Agh! I
can't retreat!
Altosean: Exactly
*slices Keffkah one last time, causing blood to splatter all over the place*
Keffkah: x_x *dies
from blood loss*
Altosean: Serves
you right!
(5 rooms away)
Douhan: Urgh!
*deploys the rabid twinkies*
(Back to Altosean)
Altosean: Man,
this sucks! I can't find Megumi
Rabid Twinkies:
Ahoy there, matie!
Altosean: ...Rabid
Twinkies? BAH!
Altosean: DEEP
FRIED TWINKIES! *kicks all of them into a frying pan*
Rabid Twinkies:
Aghhhhhhhh! So much for our mission!
Altosean: I'll
take note to NOT eat those twinkies *keeps running on*
Megumi: Altosean!
Altosean:
Megumi-chan...*picks the lock in a hurry*
Megumi: I'm free
finally! *kisses*
Altosean: Ah!
Megumi, please run at once
Megumi: Will you
return for me at least?
Altosean: Of
course *_*
Megumi: Okies
*runs off*
Altosean:
Megumi...I can't dare fail you *slams a huge door open*
(The door opens,
revealing a huge lit up, Star Wars-esque enviroment)
Douhan: *turns
around his chair* So we meet again, Lord Altosean
Altosean: Shut up,
I wish to end you and your miserable shit once and for all!
Douhan: Make me
you goody bastard!
Altosean:
*sharpens his eyes* How about you stop thinking your a DBZ character
Douhan: *pulls out
green lightsaber, fires it up* Hmph, i'll take you out
Altosean: Time to
be a bad ass *pulls out a double bladed lightsaber, two red blades pop out*
Douhan: Damn you!
*assumes position*
Altosean: Its best
to surrender, because your gonna die right here!
Douhan: *swings at
Altosean* Yeah right
Altosean: *blocks*
Naive idiot *slashes Douhan with the other blade*
Douhan: Agh!
Altosean: *twirls
the saber carefully to not cut anything off* Try me, i'll beat you down
(Douhan and
Altosean keep swinging at each other madly for hours on end, in fact the
Director just fell asleep)
Altosean: I'll
ignore the hit on my shoulder! YAH! *swings at Douhan*
Douhan:
Kame...hame...
Altosean: Baka
Douhan: HAAAAAAA!!
*fires off attack at Altosean*
Altosean: *uses
the horse to send the blast right back at Douhan*
Douhan: Ouch!
Altosean: Wimp,
get up overlord of evil, your no match
Douhan: Or so you
think, fool
Altosean: All
talk, no sock *stabs Douhan*
Douhan: SPIRIT
BOMB!
Altosean: Another
pathetic Dragonball Z move! Mirror Blade attack! *blades act like mirrors,
knocks attack back at Douhan*
Douhan: Oof!
Altosean: You have
no skill, your just a loser with Dragonball Z attacks and EBay on your side
Douhan: Grrr
*slashes Altosean*
Altosean: Agh, try
that again!
Douhan: I am your
fatherrrrrr!
Altosean: Right,
your my father...my father's CHEWTOY!
Douhan: ...
Altosean:
Bakenteru Shuffle Alliance Fist! *fist glows and punches Douhan right in the
face*
Douhan: ....Grrr,
I won't take this
Altosean: Just
give up, you stand no chance
Douhan: *holds up
lightsaber* By the powers of Grehayskull!!
Altosean: This
guy's a moron
Douhan:
I...HAVE...THE TOWERRRRRRRRRRR!
(The area bursts
apart, Douhan turns into some freaky lion looking thing that sorta like Victory
Leo from Transformers: Victory)
Altosean: ...
Douhan: *slashes
Altosean, freezing him and almost killing him*
Altosean: ...
Douhan: NOW! You
will perish! MASS SELL ON EBAY ATTACK!! *sends off a ray from his index
fingers*
(Suddenly the area
begins to glow...)
Victory Saber:
*slices way in, throws a chair in front of Douhan's attack*
Altosean: ?!
Victory Saber:
*begins to heal up Altosean*
Douhan: ...RAR!
*slashes Victory Saber, reducing it to its sword form*
???: Now! Defeat
him! I tainted the blade...but it still will work!
Altosean: I'm
freed!
Douhan: *tries to
grab the Victory Saber, but it keeps moving away from him* Argh! WHY WON'T IT
GET TO ME?!
Altosean: *jumps
up* Yahhhhhhhh! *grabs Victory Saber* It is now mine, foolish tyrant!
Douhan: ...Urgh, the braids, the hair color change,
the odd outfit change
Altosean: *notices
the VS just gave him a weirdo ZK336-esque look, almost like its some sort of
BN4 Soul style* Hmm...well now
Douhan: !! *tries
sending his huge claws at Altosean*
Altosean: *flies
up* Yahoo! *slams his sword into Douhan, who's head gets blasted back like an
uppercut hit him*
Douhan: Argh! This
hurts!
Altosean: Exactly,
let the pain flow! >:D
Douhan: *fires a
huge beam down at Altosean*
Altosean: *gets
hit* Hm, try harder *channels energy into the Victory Saber*
Douhan: ?!
Altosean: YEAH!
Ph33r! LET THE PAIN BE KNOWN TO YOUR TYRANNY! VICTORY BURN ATTACK! *sword
glows, sending a huge wave at Douhan, however, its so much larger than the one
Altosean was hit with*
Douhan: . . .My. .
.world. . .how dare you
Altosean: Burn in
hell, the world permits you to, bastard
Douhan: *scream
echoes into Seika* AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *blows up slowly, activates
something in the background*
Fortress: Warning!
Self-Destruct sequence!
Altosean: ...Crap!
Wait...what the *a pegasus is formed in front of him* Wha? Alright! Lets fly
away! *flies off on the pegasus*
(The fortress has
began to explode, has everyone got out safely? Find out on the very last
episode of Kros Nights!)
Epilogue: One
Hope, One Light, One...A&W Root Beer?! o_O
(The Kros Nights
and Bluh-ack Thang stand on a cliff, watching the fortress destroy piece by
piece)
Altosean: Men!
Tate! Megumi! We finally have Seika in peace!
Megumi:
Altosean...I thank you! *kisses*
Altosean: Excuse
me for a second *kisses back*
Ave: *holds up
Baka sign in victory*
Ova: I wonder what
we'll do now
Qvla: =\ *drinks a
huge bottle of maple syrup*
Scion: No more
foes to kill for now
Karmel: Peaceful?
Figures
(Meanwhile)
Director: *slices
Ash with Tritoch*
Ash: x_x
Director: Ash,
shut the hell up about BN dude!
Crowd: ZzZz..
(Back to our
heroes)
Tate: ^_^' Hearts?
=\ Poor little sis, oh well XD! *colors in the hearts*
Altosean: ...Aye
Megumi: lmao! Cute
Tate: *ties a bow
in Altosean's hair* Hee hee ;P
Altosean: Ack!
Ave: Lets
celebrate with! DISCOOOOOOOO!
Everyone: You
baka!
Ave: *holds up
Baka sign*
Zig-Urd: This is
great, but what will we do now?
Key-you-wan: That
I wonder
Altosean: We can
rebuild from Douhan's damage, thats all we can do now
Kros Nights:
RIGHTO!
(And so, Seika and
its neighbors were being rebuilt, slowly but surely. And now the story
ends...yes I know all those sad faces! =<)
Ave: Hmm, hey, any
of you got a king?
Ova: Royal Flush!
Ave: Aghhhh!
Altosean and Qvla:
XD!
Altosean: Good job
*sarcasm*
Ave: Heh
Megumi: Hmmm, that
sword no longer has an effect for now, huh?
Altosean: I had to
turn it off for now XD
Megumi: Aw, at
least use the Victory Saber so I can have some kawaiiness laterrrr
Altosean:
Oh...^_^''
Kros Nights:
*laugh all their heads off, not literally*
(Meanwhile)
???: Put that
twinkie back and be warped 7 days back
Dude: Okay! *puts
it back* AHHHHHHH!
(Because we ran
out of crap...extra mockery!)
Altosean: EGGO
WAFFLE SWORD!
Qvla: *eats it*
Altosean: D'oh!
----------
Ave: I summon
the...Can of Baked Beans? ICK!
Loser Rangers:
*run away*
----------
Ova: Purple Monkey
Dishwashers? Can I use one?
Altosean: What the
hell?
---------
Kros Nights: HEY!
WHY DO WE LOOK LIKE....SERRA?
Serra: *points and
laughs*
---------
Ova: WATER
CANNONS! *empty* Damn!
---------
Karmel: My name is
Camel!...Wait, whoops
--------
Nolrex: BLADE
ATTACK! ...Wait, where ARE the blades?! WHO SCREWED THE EFFECTS?!
--------
Director: AH!
*runs from Puni Puni Poemi Ray* Wait?! THAT?! HIT ME PLEASE! >:D
--------
Douhan: Mass sell
on Toilet Paper attack!
--------
Ave: *holds up
sign* Hey! Wait! This says Smart! I R SMART! =P!
--------
Altosean: Mon!
Lets move out!
Pokemon in
background: Chu?
Altosean: ...
-------
Altosean: TASTE MY WRATHHHHH!
*Altosean has the
Failure ISC
Altosean: Hey!
That was the wrong one!
------
Ave: I summon the
You Got Pictures Magician! ...Ew its pr0n *kicks the pictures away*
(FIN! XD!)
Director: Aw,
well, thanks for reading =P We were all bored people! Thanks to Espil, Saf, and
Roara for the fillers of course