THE AISLE SEAT - by Mike McGranaghan

"CHARLIE'S ANGELS"

You will know within the first five minutes whether Charlie's Angels is for you. The opening scene begins with rapper LL Cool J playing a mysterious secret agent who jumps out of a commercial airliner while holding another passenger. The angel named Alex (Lucy Liu) drops from a helicopter and defuses a bomb strapped to the passenger's chest while all three free-fall. The bomb goes off in midair. Alex and LL open their parachutes and drop safely into a waiting speedboat driven by Natalie (Cameron Diaz), who is attired in a revealing gold bikini. The horrified passenger looks on as LL rips off a mask to reveal he is really Dylan (Drew Barrymore). (The mask would explain the facial differences, but not the fact that LL Cool J is probably at least a foot taller than Barrymore.) This short introduction tells you everything you will need to know about Charlie's Angels: it's over-the-top, has a flavor of camp, and goes out of its way to show a lot of skin. If you hate the intro, you might as well just go ahead and walk out. If, on the other hand, you like what you see, sit back and enjoy the ride.

Somewhere, it is written that all old TV shows will eventually be turned into movies. I could never believe that it took this long for someone to put "Charlie's Angels" onto the big screen. Although dismissed by some as little more than a "jiggle" show, it nonetheless gave audiences what they wanted: a dose of "girl power" for the females and a trio of gorgeous women for the men. The film version filters out the most entertaining aspects of the formula and compacts them into a 92-minute party of a movie. There is definitely an emphasis on the action and the bodies as opposed to the story. In some cases, I might complain that plot development is of secondary importance, but not here. This is like sucking the sugar off the candy.

What little story there is has to do with a kidnapped technology executive named Eric Knox (Sam Rockwell) whose voice-identification software has been stolen. The software identifies voices with the accuracy of fingerprints, which makes it a powerful tool in the wrong hands. Fingers seem to point to Roger Corwin (Tim Curry), Knox's chief competitor. He owns a satellite network for telecommunications. With the software, he could theoretically listen in on any phone conversation being held anywhere in the world - and know exactly who was saying what.

To find Knox and retrieve the software, the angels go undercover. Several times. They pose as waitresses and race car drivers, belly dancers and masseuses. At one point, they even dress up as men. Part of the fun of "Charlie's Angels" on TV was seeing the women go undercover as all kinds of different things. The movie basically uses the story as an excuse to have Barrymore, Diaz, and Liu assume different disguises.


Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz, and Drew Barrymore are the new Charlie's Angels
 
As on the show, most of these undercover gigs require the women to wear outfits that are rather revealing. And when the clothes themselves aren't revealing, the angels make them so by unbuttoning or unzipping them as far down as they can. Let's be honest about it: you can't do Charlie's Angels without keeping the "jiggle factor." For better or worse, it was always a big part of the formula. (It's no coincidence that they cast beautiful women, either.) The film has plenty of the requisite T&A, and it often goes out of its way to spotlight it. For instance, there's a totally unnecessary scene where Natalie is interrupted from dancing around the bedroom in her underwear by a UPS guy at her door. What's in the box? Who knows or cares? It's just a means of getting a close-up of Cameron Diaz's backside. There are so many gratuitous butt and cleavage shots that the film is likely to serve as cinematic Viagra for a lot of men. I have a good friend who is always lamenting the unnecessary amount of skin shown in movies; he feels it cheapens the experience of the story. Charlie's Angels is different, though. If it didn't have all the skin, most people would somehow feel ripped off.

I also think that there's a celebration of femininity inherent in the concept, which is why it's hard to get too bent out of shape about it. This is a tribute to womanhood. The angels are sexy, but they are also shown to be smart, tough, and caring. They kick ass and look great in swimsuits. There's no one else on screen whom they can't outsmart. I think the point is that there are so many elements to being a woman; the characters use every single one of them to full effect.

Music video director McG, who makes his feature film debut here, seems to know this. Everything he does as a filmmaker is geared toward making these women look good. You can really see this in the action scenes, which are stylish and exciting. McG films the choreographed martial arts scenes in ways that show the audience how strong the angels are. Yes, there is some special effects trickery used to allow them to defy gravity, but you still see that stunt people were rarely used. McG goes in for big close-ups of his stars competently performing the moves. It's a simple thing that adds a lot to the overall impact.

Another thing I liked is that the angels' boyfriends are totally subjugated to the background. Luke Wilson, Tom Green, and Matt LeBlanc play the men who love the angels, and they have utterly thankless roles. There's a cruel Hollywood reality that actresses often get offered little more than generic "girlfriend" roles. In this movie, the tables have been knowingly turned.

Charlie's Angels wants to be nothing more than an enjoyable popcorn picture. On that level, I found it incredibly enjoyable. The actresses have a solid chemistry together and they look great, both in their costumes and in action. Bill Murray (whom I have not yet mentioned) lends a comic flair in his portrayal of Bosley, the "fourth angel." The film moves along at a brisk pace, always filled with style. It's silly, but it knows that it's silly. Like I said at the top, you'll know if you're going to like it within the first five minutes. After that opening scene, I knew I was going to have a really good time.

( out of four)


Charlie's Angels is rated PG-13 for action violence, innuendo and some sensuality/nudity. The running time is 1 hour and 32.
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