ALLAH'S FALL GUY
SHAYTAN IR-RAJEEM
| Aliases: Iblis, Mahound, Old Nick, Krumpus, Old Horny, Mephistopheles, Mara, Lucifer, Beelzebub, Azazel, Belial, Moloch, Mork |
DESCRIPTION
| Date of Birth: | Unknown | Hair: | Bald |
| Place of Birth: | Ancient Persia | Eyes: | Black |
| Height: | N/A | Complexion: | Blue |
| Weight: | N/A, Gaseous, just like the evidence for such a creature | Sex: | Male (how typical) |
| Build: | Fire | Tribe: | Bani Nar |
| Occupations: | Temptation, Granting the Wishes that Allah never grants through du'ah prayer. | ||
| Remarks: | So, now we know the reason for Robin William's popularity... | ||
| Scars and Marks: | Earring, further evidence that Shaytan is a homosexual... | ||
CAUTION
SHAYTAN IS IN EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY,
CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY PRONE TO HIDE IN MUSICAL GATHERINGS, ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES, LAS VEGAS, FICTIONAL NOVELS, SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE, COED GATHERINGS, USURY, AND AMERICA in GENERAL
IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS DISOBEDIENT WRETCH, IT'LL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE DAY OF JUDGMENT- THE ALMIGHTY DOESN'T WANT TO TAKE CARE OF THIS CRITTER 'TIL THEN. ALTHOUGH IT'LL MAKE A GOOD EXCUSE FOR ANNIHILATING APOSTATE DEVILS IN THE MEANTIME, OR THOSE MODERNISTS WHO JUST AREN'T "ISLAMIC" ENOUGH FOR THE ISLAMIST TASTE.
REWARD
ETERNAL DAMNATION. FACE IT, YOU AREN'T GOING TO WIN AGAINST THE SEA OF TEMPTATION.
February 2000