My poetry is very valuable to me. I love it as if it were my own life. Because most of it is about my life. So I would very much appreciate it if you would NOT copy my poetry, or use it as your own. My stuff is copyrighted, so i can sue your arse if you even try and take it..So there! Now Enjoy! Copyright © 2000 Jessica Hernandez All Rights Reserved

*~Thomas' Head~* The summer buds are never quite in full bloom And the ribbons from her hair are always in flight Screeching to a halt Step out and take a glance at the back of your life Never bleeding Always losing Side swept tears and unforgotten dances Hold on tightly to your package Don't let them see Unwanted punctures and coiled up braces You'll never survive this test Get out while you can Run off to the valley and live amongst the deer They know how to live without fear Split-ends and Razors Catch a cold Don't let them fool you Raise your young in a seed They have no need to see the world And all its haunting truths Articulate is their speech Don't let them win They'll think you've gone crazy Far from it

Poem

Meaning of Poem

*~Smears in Jars~* It's wierd how the world works And when I trip along the lines I realize that death is standing right before me Draining away the blood that once gave me life Hypocritical in his laugh of sorrow He mocks my life by showing me my fears Empty shallow eyes stare back in suprise This once loved girl was never loved at all He holds back my heart and replies, "I'll give you one more chance. Besides. Life on earth for you is much worse off then hell". In my deepest thoughts I could never have imagined death feeling sorrow for me My tears now wider then before As I cry alone The smiles of joy and embraces from loved ones were lies They pittied my pathetic life And only wished they could care Corners are thought to be dark and lonely But they shelter me from the earth The cruel truth hurts Touches from my hands give me no comfort As I've come to hate my own self I screwed up my one chance I screwed up my life

*~Untitled~* Whenever the sun begins to dawn upon the gravel my feet become heavier As they stumble along the words you've spoken to me these past few weeks I laugh Its funny how I think things will turn out Im never right Unguided and struggling alone I look beside me and see a room full of stand-ins Discover the card and unwind the bandages Cover up stand back and watch the accidents occur I always lose

*~King~* Here upon your soul lies a solid grasp Of flies and maggots Suprised by your sudden demise You try to wash away your mistakes Frustrated with the fluent speech of your enemies And obsessed with a girl you cannot possess Shackles and chains Flowers and thread Watching your peasants and wives run off into the night Fall back into your throne of spit and disgrace Pigsty bed full of dust Curtains strewn across the floor Swords await your chest Grin and laugh at all that you have done Little is your legacy Huge is the battle with yourself Inside a bottle your fate is held Drink slowly let it all fade Three cheers for our fallen king He who loved nothing He who knew nothing He who was nothing

*~ Jacques Thoughts~* With a whisky bottle on my back I count the quarters that are left in my pockets No more tears to choke on Only spit and feet lay at eyelevel Newspaper leftovers and grenades fly overhead The world has turned upside for today Nothing is the way it is Shifting my weight on the plane it glides to a tree Eating the apples and pears to survive I make a refuge on that land Clear water and stains on your neck Lift it off with a lick Grinning madly with a look of solace on your face Running round the columns Fall to a stop Skid marks left on your brain Whatever it was you saw its now gone Looking back to make sure Boo! It's got you Tearing off the sheets in a mad dash to the door Bible beating people shoving down words in your not so conscious head Nod and smile Nod and smile Swiveling in your chair Swiveling in your chair

*~Staring~* Under the sun the waves crash against me Pulling at the seams of my dress I break free Climb upon a rock and stand tall Facing the clear blue skies My lashes drip with honey and sweet butter Lie down on the sand Reach Reach Reach Like a lily pad asleep on the pond I drift along this world unaware you are there Staring...

*~Bitter Sour~* At the end of the hallway I see a bulb It shines dully against the locker walls I stand up straight with a crooked smile on my face And lift up the jar that I hold Inside is the world that I've known and held dear my whole life I slowy twist the cap off... And out flies a firefly So fragile and meek

*~Dead Animals~* I like words that I don’t remember the meanings of and spelling them incorrectly to get people all messed up its fun to run around in the sprinklers then walk inside the house with out drying your feet first in school I would draw colorful and bright pictures of dead animals and wars after church I’d take off my altar server gown and go smoke a joint in the back leaving one dollar tips is my thing even if I ordered lobster and whine making a man feel all hot and sexy is great nearing him I whisper in his ear "I'm just a tease" laughing louder then any person at the movies and spilling my soda all over the floor I do all these things to make you question me I don’t want to be accepted and as you can see at least I try to

*~Go~* Walls enclosing Corners shifting My shoulders sag from the bag that I hold the tent inside has no use Swirls of smoke surround the hall while girls dance around inside Carolers sing the songs of old and step aside to let out the cold Merrily merrily merrily we go across the shelter we call home To end this wicked wicked dream I take a potion and let out a scream Walls enclosing corners shifting I wake to see its a dream...

*~Passed Out~* Burning ice on my soul as your wicked grin slaps me across the face Didn’t I please you enough to make you scream? Was there not enough slits on my wrists or bandages on my arms to hold you? Why did you say you loved me while you glanced at girls walking by? My eyes have seen enough My ears have heard their full My lips will part no longer And my ass is out the door

~*Pitter Patter*~ The smell of your cologne is still in my nose And the stains from my cuts are still apparent Your voice still rings clear in my ears as I walk down the streets And the stains from my cuts are still apparent The times we laughed and cried together flash through my mind And the stains from my cuts are still apparent I remember feeling the numbness inside when the door closed behind you And the stains from my cuts are still apparent I could no longer weep for you to return, because it became apparent that my cuts were too deep

The ending line of this poem was made up when i was talking online to a friend named Thomas. He was talking to me about something, and how people think he is crazy. And i was joking around with him, and i just got this urge to write a poem about things that make sense at first, then the more you read, the more messed up it seems. Thats why the poem ends "they'll think you've gone crazy...Far from it" I entered this poem into our schools Scholastic Writing competetion, it didnt make it though. Seems they dont want poetry thats too sad or about love. *laughs* What dumbass. =) But mostly the poem is about all these things that someone is remembering from their past, and how in the end they became fearful and sad. Then, they became synical and pessimistic.

~*In My Dreams*~ Cloudy waves of nothing push hard against my being Feathers and tar cover my house Lil bumper cars race around in shopping malls full of frogs Farris Wheels are brought into flight, and land on a beach in Tahiti Candy Canes and chocolate are thrown from towers surrounding me Pillows and Covers, surround me in bliss As I wake from my dreams...

~*Hands not in Place*~ Crackers pop and water fizzles My life has gone down in flames I sit and stare at the padded walls around me And think of past times of fun How the grass never looked redder then before And how his lips touched my neck in the right places all at once Bubbles dance and liquor dribbles My hands were not in place at the table They glided and flew to the doorknob beside me Outside awaited a pigeon to carry me home Inside under and Outside over How clearly now I see the weather It sprinkles not in my head no longer

~*Sweet Slumber*~ Sweet sweet slumber It looks so tempting and right With all the covers pulled up nice and tight My eyes are drooping and my mouth is dry I lay awake staring up at the cloudy skies They gently touch my eyelids as they close Oh sweet sweet slumber How I longer for thee My eyes now part as I lay half asleep I’m coming to you now, as I gently weep The moment has come for my chance to dream Yet I miss the train I lay awake swollen and cold Nothing is right nothing is more Sweet sweet slumber I pull away the covers and walk to the light It remains off till I flip the switch No longer can I sleep Oh sweet, sweet slumber How I long for thee Why cant you return to me

~*Lead Me Away*~ Faeries come into my sheets and whisper lil tid-bits of their day How the frogs take them for swims in the lake, and of the fireflies that light the night for them... Wouldn’t you love to come join us they plead And as I wake up I scream yes! They flee...

I was very depressed at this point in my life, when i wrote this poem. I wanted to write about how i was feeling, and it came out as a poem where Death comes to visit me. My life seemed so shitty at the time, that even Death, i thought, didn't want me. Everything that everyone was saying to me, or trying to do for me wasn't really working. And if it was, it only worked for a short period of time. After writing the poem i felt a lot more better, they usually say that writing down about your death or how you feel, is theraputic.

I am using this little space down here to thank everyone who has supported me and my poetry. -love- jessica P.S. I will still put up more poetry!! But only once I write some more. ;)

[ bacon ]     [ poetry intro]

I think i titled this poem later on, i'll have to go back into my papers and see. There was this guy that i was very much smitten over, and things were always choatic in my mind during our relationship. So i wrote this poem, about how i would tend to see things from a negative point of view. "i always lose" That line shows that i know thinking this way will never have any good in it.

I had just finished watching a movie with a king in it..I dont remember what movie it was now though. And also, at the same time i was thinking about this person i knew that was very negative. [[maybe me..]] The King rules over a horrible kingdom, because all he seems to do is sleep around with women. He doesnt love his wife, and the one women he does want he cant have. So at his all time low he starts seeing all the crap around him. The kindgom that wishes he was dead, how he is never really loved, how his enemies always seem to win, and just how much he has never suceeded. In the end he decides to commit suicide by drinking a potion. The last 3 lines are just the last few things that cross his mind as he dies, he pictures his kingdom shouting them out as he dies.

No comment at this moment... make your own guess in my post board at the bottom. Or email me if you really want to know now.

I had a huge suspicion that this guy was liking me more then he admited to. So i wrote a poem about how im just walking around having a beautiful time alone. Just thinking and going about my life. While all along, theres this guy..whose there loving me, but not letting me be aware of it. He stares at me.

When i started writing poetry, i was in elementary school. They were stupid lil poems and such..Hee Hee. About like Mickey Mouse and flowers. Alll very dorky i swear to you it makes me laugh when i read back on it. =) For the longest time i didnt seriously sit down and write poetry. I'd maybe write one like a year or something. Then, last year that changed.. I wrote this poem. Its about me if you really want to know. And after i wrote this poem, i just started to write more consistently. I was going through a different change in my life, and i figured why not write it down? Because it helped me feel better, and sometimes even realize how i was really feeling within.

I like the title of the poem. Pretty catchy huh? Sometimes i do like to mess with peoples minds, not a lot though, because im not evil. At times i do it without even knowing i am! So i wrote this poem about how a girl [[not me]] loves to appear to be something, but really isnt. We are all like this. Dont judge a book by its cover kinda deal... But the girl in the poem loves to mess with peoples minds, and she loves to be outragous. So she is. And she thinks its much better then being completely fake. Cause you see, she's doing what she wants to do.

I'll write about these poems meaning later.. Take a guess if you want in my Post Board at the bottom... or if you want to know now, email me

I was in a situation in which i felt i couldnt really get out, like everything kept on getting more and more complicated. And i'd try and escape by daydreaming about beautiful and pleasant things. Like girls dancing, people singing. But eventually i cant dream forever, and hence the screaming and the walls enclosing again... I always wish i can wake up from bad situations. *sigh* Let me sum up my meaning of this poem.. i couldnt really remember why i wrote it, so i just made up some crap. *laughs* hee hee