::my ramblings:: [[my life lived out before your eyes]] |
12/16/00 Saturday 11:30am-feeling =\ woke up a long while ago, watching t.v and stuff. im not that hungry, but i know i should eat something soon, or else i'll black out later on in the day. which reminds me,i should probably start cleaning up the house some more, and try to study for this TASP test i have in january. thank god i dont have school for the following 2 weeks, i could really use the break. im listening to "closer" by <<NIN>>, what a groovy song. there are a few people on my buddy list, only about 2 that i'd talk to, but one isnt responding,and the other one,well i dont really want to talk to them just yet. 1:11pm-feeling =| our family has been going [[well not lately..]] to the same church since i was like born, and during those 18yrs we've become friends with a lot of families from there. one of them being the Campusano family. they are a pretty good group of people, sure they gossip a whole lot and talk bad about families that they dont like [[its mostly the 4 kids that do this, not so much the parents]], but lots of families from my church do that sort of thing...anyhoo. the mother, Clarita, is very sick right now. She's almost dying in fact. she has a disease called Lupus that has no cure. [[i know a bit about this since my art teacher has one form of lupus]] And aside from that, she also has pnemonia, which i think would probably make it even worse. I knew that she's been sick for a few days, but i just thought that she was at home resting in bed. Then my dad, uncle, and aunt all went to go visit her at the hospital, so i thought that maybe she just got some sort of surgery or something. [[hardly anyone ever fills me in with info]] But today my godmother called me and told me that Clarita is like dying, which of course is very sad. So later on today around 5pm my sister and i are going to the hospital [[hitching a ride with my godmom]] to visit her, and somewhat represent my mom. Because my mom is still in mexico, and im not sure if she knows just how sick Clarita has gotten..*sigh* I hope everything turns out alright.... |
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12/17/00 Sunday 2:32pm-feeling pissed >=O my mom got back today. horray, for joy!! wrong. its not as cheery as i hoped it'd be. she got home and just started to bitch about everything. seems the cleaning we did wasnt clean enough for her, and she said that maybe she should have just stayed over there in mexico. and she wont even let me go out with my friends to eat. i havent gone out anywhere with my friends for like a week, and for me thats a long time, cause usually we do things every weekend. so right now, im feeling pretty pissed because she's being bitchy for stupid reasons. aaaaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhh!!! i've said it tons of times, and i'll say it again..when in sleep all is best. 5:13pm-feeling freaked =O my mommy being back is crazy!! i've had to clean a looot, she finds all sorts of stuff to do its amazing. yet she still wont let me out. my dad just got home from work, i think he should like tells her "they did clean while you were away you know, so be somewhat grateful that the house isnt a complete dump" =P ha! so there! but i bet he wont say that. oh by the way, about that lady whose sick...yesterday we went to go visit her pretty late. but they wouldnt have let us in to visit her anyways. because she's on that breathing machine thing. the doctors wouldnt let anyone but immediate family go in, and they didnt even want them going in for that long. cause they want her to build up her strength, and not be bothered. it was very windy and cold outside. afterwards my godmother bought me and my sister some tacos from tacobell. hee hee. i saw my godsister last night too, i havent seen her in awhile. we got caught up in some stuff..thats always nice. hmm, what else..thats it for now. |
12/18/00 Monday 2:39pm-feeling ookay =) yeppers peppers. college sucks. forms rule!! i have no real thoughts left in my head..at least clear thoughted ones. last night i tried writing some poetry, and i just couldnt. all of what i wrote was pure crap. im telling you C-R-A-P! so much for that..and then i tried making a ouija board out of paper, cause i read it in this book that i have that you can do that. i made the damn thing, and it didnt work. go figure. i started to cuss at the spirits that apparently werent around me at the time. and then cursed at my house for being full of such holy objects. 3:10pm-feeling cold!! brr =P i need to get my act together damnit!! i can do it!! ...just requires me not being so much of a procrastinator....shucks. 8:26pm-feeling cold still brrr!!! =P my parents went to some open casket thing tonight. they are going to be singing at it, cause theres going to be a short mass held there too i think...something like that. if youre mexican, then you'll know what the open caskets are like. dont worry, its not a karaoke thing where my parents are going to be taking requests and singing "dancing queen". that'd be really scary actually....im stuck here at home as usual. freeezing, cause my parents persist that we do not need to be warm, cause they arent cold. im the one in the family that freezes up very easily. hee hee. its not my fault =P its their genes that im chock full of anyways!! so blame them!! today my friend <<ashley>> brought over my x-mas gift!! then her, me, and <<hayley>> went to the post office, the line was pretty long. but we werent there for long. horray!! 11:05pm-feeling messed up =P im going to quote a friend "teenagers are stoopid" i'd say thats somewhat true..we are very unexeperienced, confused, and full of angst, frustration. our parents, our friends, school, work, society, its like all of that just tumbles and jumbles around inside all of us and builds up in most of us [[ie. me]] and we freak out. we ALL have problems. some people feel the entire world is against them, when it doesnt have to be, and it isnt. we just have low self esteem most of the time. im still trying to deal with mine, i thought i had gain tons, and i kinda did, just not enough. still got some issues to handle..anyways, back to what i was saying...schniet!! why must i go over this whole schabackle again??? hee hee. bottom line. love yourself a lot. no, it is not concieted, [[unless you do take it to far, to the point where you make fun of people and say "oh im so great everyone should love me" now that is being concieted..]] |
12/19/00 Tuesday 1:18am-feeling sleepy , scratchy throat =P blah!! okay okay okay, i know its really early, but its not that i woke up really early, i havent been to bed yet. i just thought i'd say that its good to be open at times. yup yup yup. i love my friends. i say my opinions because i care. not because im a bitch...which i dont see myself as. thank you very much 5:27pm-i have a little headache =P hello there. im feeling fine, it was windy out today!! whoosh! but overall the weather was nice. sunny, blue, etc etc etc. im not really that hungry..i guess its cause i've been chewing gum all day. i started getting this headache on the way back home from going out with <<ashley>>. i think it was the bright sunlight, and the smoke too. hee hee. [[i wasnt smoking]]. i think i'll be alright though...hmm..maybe not eating also has something to do with it. "dont you ever tell me love isnt true, its just something we do" -madonna rocks!!! =) hee hee. my friend <<muna>> loves madonna. thanks muna for telling me the name of that song!! oh yeah, also today on the way home ashley and i were listening to <<REGULAR UNLEADED>> they kick ass!!! i cant wait till their album comes out, all of you are going to have to get one, im telling you...da bomb. hee hee. i know some of the members of the band, and they are really neat-o. i want to go see that new movie What Women Want. i heard its really funny, and i saw the previews for it a long time ago, it does look funny. now if only someone would take me to go see it....Hmm...*hint hint* My sister said that while i was gone, that my mom was crying for like 2hours really hard. she says its because she keeps on thinking about how she lost her brother 2wks ago...so sad =( i durno how to really help her, but just let her cry and tell her i love her. aaggghh!! if only i didnt have this stupid headache..."dont believe in anything that you cant break, you stupid girl, stupid girl..alll you had you wasted, all you had you wasted..." <<garbage>> is tiz-ight! hee hee. i wish i had lots of money to go somewhere right now....like to a cool concert, or to buy my friends x-mas gifts. blah blah blah. my head is starting to feel a bit better...i smell vanilla.... ;) |
12/20/00 Wendesday 11:05am-feeling sick =( i wish i didnt feel sick....i woke up this morning and kept tossing and turning and wanted to go back to bed. but couldnt, i kept on concentrating on everyone that i know, wondering what they were up to. hee hee. i bet most of them were sleeping!!! so anyways, i just got up and came online to work on my site and stuff. there are some relatives over right now, my dads sister and some of my cousins. they are eating in the living room, i never know what to say to them. and they never know what to say to me either..oh well. i got an acceptance letter yesterday from Stephen F. Austin University [[no its not in Austin]]. It was the only school that i sent an application to, hee hee. I'll be sending out more, just not yet...Blah. I cant believe that Christmas is in about 5 days now, thats too quick man. i like turkey. yum yum yum!!! *coughs* 4:17pm-feeling sick again =( i hate it how i feel sick!! a bit earlier i wasnt. now my tummy hurts, im really hungry...but yet i cant eat. cause i know i'll probably feel nausous and get full too quickly. i just sneezed awhile ago, and it really hurt my throat...i should take tytenol or something i durno. agh, at least i dont have that headache anymore. went to go see some friends, that was really nice. especially since i havent seen them in awhile..i want to go see some more friends this afternoon..but if i keep on feeling crappy i probably wont be able to. if i were in school right now, during this sickness, i wouldnt look too happy or nice. nope nope, i'd look tired and sad. =P which is kinda how i feel. im sure i'll be fine, i wont die or anything, hee hee. thanks to andy for sending me that funny joke in my email today. i noticed that <<hayley>> has been playing around witht the adobe photoshop, it made me want to start tinkering around with it too. but the stuff i've done doesnt look as nice as what she's done. heh. my friend from st. louis, danielle has been in dublin for the past few days, i think thats awesome. i'd love to go to dublin and visit all the people that i've talked to and heard about. im sure they are all really nice like my buddies over here. except that they'll have irish accents. =) hee hee. agh, pain pain pain. stupid stomach!! why must you ache?!! have i not fed you well enough? what more do you need?? i should go lay down.... 11:39pm-feeling GRRRRRRREAT!!! =D just got home from hanging out at my friend <<diana's>> house!! she rocks!! <<hayley>> and <<sarah>> hung out there too. before we went to dee's house though, we made a little surprise visit to <<muna's>> house!! she was ...surprised. hee hee. i sat around and ate some rice and drank coke, and dee fed me some Kit Kat bars. diana had gotten a cool new gee-tar, it was pretty and stuff. all sparkly. im not really the expert on gee-tars...im pretty sure it was an accoustic guitar. my tummy was hurting a whoooooooole lot around 6 but then it started to feel much better, i had gone with my daddy to go buy some rice at Timmy Chans. hee hee. yummy yum yum. its exactly 12am now. im feeling fine. iim pretty sure it was probably just a 24hr bug that i got. it still might be in me by tomorrow morning, but hopefully will be gone much later. |
12/21/00 Thursday 9:09am-not to shabby right now =\ last night ....i cant quite remember my dream. darnit! i knew it when i woke up, and i thought "i should write it down in this dream journal that i placed by my bed.." but then i thought "nahh..i should try going to sleep again and write it down when i officially wake up" what do i do ? i forget the darn thing when i do wake up. hee hee. it'll probablyb come back to me later during the day. my mommy told me that the DMV [[dept. of motorvehicles]] closes at around 8 today, so im gonna try calling one of my friends to see if they'll be nice enough to take me down there and renew my license. cause yup..its about time that i renew the damn thing. i was suppose to have done it about..2yrs ago?? 1999..yeah...hee hee. thats about 2yrs ago now. My! How time sure does fly. 2 yrs ago if you would have told me that i was going to go through what i've gone through in 2000, i would have laughed at you and said "yeah right! that sounds like some very dramatic soap opera" And yes. It has been dramatic. I'm sure not as dramatic as other peoples...I had let my friend <<muna>> borrow one of my copies of Catcher In the Rye. She's liking it so far, just how i had hoped she had!! I love that book. I should buy another copy so i can have 3. One of the house, one for me to carry around, and one for emergencies or something...silly me. Lets see..i woke up feeling not as sick as i had the other day. I have a bit of the sniffles, but i usually do when i wake up. At this moment im feeling nausous. Darnit!! I have feeling like that, i honestly get nausous verrrry easily, and i gag even more then i get nausous. Hee Hee. Cant help it, just some weird thing i've got...i dont know what it is. Its probably all in my mind. Lemme go eat something for breakfast, and watch the news. I love the news. It keeps me up to date with stuff.....which is what the news is suppose to do. =P 8:06pm-feeling okay =| listening to a song from Willy Wonka "if youre not spoiled then you will go far..you will live in happiness too, like the oompa loompa doopity do" good advice dont ya say? of course..we all know that the oompa loompas were gay ;) hee hee. i've seen that movie waaaay too many times its pretty scary. My sister is going over to a friends house to sleep over...hehehehehe. that means i get the whole room to myself!!! I'm sleepin in tha nude!!! hee hee, just kidding ^_^ that'd be pretty funny actually...just talking to some friends online, i like chatting it up. it'd be way cooler to talk to them in person, but lack of transportation leads me to using the net. =P |
12/22/00 Friday 2:28pm-feels like its saturday.. im listening to "raindrops + sunshowers" by Smashing Pumpkins, nice song..it was off of their newest CD, and apparently their last since they had their last concert awhile ago. i went to the place to get my license renewed, and it was closed!! how stupid i say. oh well, i'll have to go sometime next week...agh!! new years eve is coming up soon too!! i just totally forgot about that. i know about 2 people whose b-days are coming up. good gracious..i went to some record shop to look for this one cd, but they didnt have it. although, they did have some pretty rockin posters that i wouldnt mind having. they are all 6.99 people!! they had a cool radiohead one, and some others that i know my friends would like. ;) but since im broke..i cant get one. my daddy was telling me that he'd get me a car if i got a job. cause he doesnt want to get me a car if i wont be able to help pay for the insurance. how come i cant be lucky like some other people? their parents make enough money to pay for their car, insurance, and gas!! thats just crazyness and luckyness i say. i sure hope they appreciate all of that stuff. "friday im in love" by The Cure is playing now on winamp. =) yay, what a coool song. today my brother plans on inviting me and my little sister out to the movies. Theres some martial arts movie called<< "Crouching Tiger Hidden DRagon">> playing like at only about 3 or 4 theaters in Houston. Apparently its suppose to be this really good martial arts movie, with some romance in it as well, but not done in a cheesy way. So it should be good. Hmm..i think some other friend of his might go with us as well..We'll see how it all goes. Then he also promised to take us out to eat!! Woohoo!! What a nice treat dont ya think? Yesterday i was talking with someone a bit about how im pretty close to my siblings, and that i think how it'd be nice if everyone else could be too. Usually when you watch the Brady Bunch and shit like that you think that siblings cant ever get along that great...and youre probably right. Cause the way they got along was...well gay. Hee Hee. I maintain a healthy relationship with my older brother and younger sister. I talk to my brother a lot about the things that are going on in my life, and he gives me advice, [[even though i dont follow it..]] but mostly he listens to what i have to say. I do the same for him, give him advice and..partially listen.*laughs* Im j/k, i do listen. =) VEry well i might add. My lil sis and i talk tons about stuff. I talk more then she does though, cause she hardly ever goes out or has much of a life. [[im being honest here, not putting her down or anything]]. I've shared the same bedroom with her for over 14years now, so of course we have to get along...we do butt heads often. Very, over stupid things. Like who has to clean the room, wash the dishes, wash our clothes..things like that. Overall we are great, bestfriends. If i didnt have these good relationships with my siblings i think i'd be worse off. Because they help keep me grounded, they tell me when i start to act a bit bitchy, immature, big headed, or overcautious. And in them telling me that, it reminds me that i just have to be myself and be confident in what im doing all the time. *SIGH* Alright, that is all for now. I'm gonna go make myself of some use around this house for sometime. Mwa!!!! <--thats a kissing sound. ;) |
12/23/00 Saturday 3:12pm-feeling sick.. today does not feel like a saturday...im telling you that Yesterday was saturday..i dont know what that would make today then..."Could you please summerize your entire life story in one sentence??" All of these essays, i havent actually written one for a college yet...but im in the midst of a draft for one college. All of this bullshit is so stupid i swear. I guess its necessary for their picking in who they want at their school or not. If i wrote a moving piece, im sure they'd accept me. Now, if i found out they also accepted someone who wrote about something stupid like, "My cat Foo Foo has the cutest little nose and that helped me want to become a vet..." I am literally going to barf all over them and their stupid essay. My father insists that i dont spend so much time online..how many times have you heard me write about this??? Too many i say. Ahh yes, if you read in my rambling for yesterday, I went to go see a movie with my brother, sister, and a friend of my brothers also named Jessica. The movie was called <<Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon>> i thought it'd probably be one of those usual Martial Arts movies, where the guys are all macho and fighting over stupid things. [[ie. "you stepped on my shoe!! you shall pay!!" they begin to fight for too long, ,kick, punch, jump, kick etc etc etc]]. Much to my surprise i actually LOVED this movie, not only were the fighting scenes gorgeous and just great to watch, but there was also a lot of emotion and beautiful cinematography in the movie. The movie had subtitles, it was filmed in Taiwaiin. Even though i had to keep on reading at the bottom of the screen to see what they were talking about, it didnt take away from the great movie. Being girly now...I also liked the clothing and the romantic elements of the story. DONT WORRY!!! it wasnt like mushy all, or a girl flick. It was an EVERYBODY MUST GO SEE THIS MOVIE kind of thing. Its only playing in 3 movie theaters here in houston, we had to go all the way out to the Galleria area to watch it...but it was very much worth it. =) Go see it please!! You'll really like it. I put a link to the movie website up above in the movie title. |