<<rewind

12/24/00 Sunday oO Christmas Eve Oo
Ahhh, can you smell the Christmas air?? Neither can I, damn polluted Houston!!
Alright...so its not exactly Sunday yet, its actually 11:47pm on Saturday night...but its verrrry close to being sunday right? =) so i figured i'd get a headstart on this 10th page of my ramblings!! i feel like i should celebrate or something. Most people do that at the #10 right?? Yup yup. So i'll celebrate by saying..Its Christmas Eve!! What fun, my siblings and i just announced to each other that we werent getting each other gifts..because. 1. im broke. 2. my sister is broke. and 3. my brother is cheap. My parents im sure probably dont have enough money to get us gifts either. As long as they had enough money to pay the bills and stuff im happy, cause at least that way we have the electricty and running water for us on Christmas day. I went to the movies again today and saw two movies!! We paid to go see Miss. Congeniality [[i think i spelled that wrong]], and then we snuck in to see What Women Want. Now listen here...it maybe stealing...but my daddy said we could. He likes to sneak in, get our moneys worth..hee hee. I'll debate with you about it later if you want... ;) I thought both movies were really funny, esssspecially What Women Want, go see that one!! My breath smells like onions because i just ate a whopper from burger king...how fun!! Today my mommy got a bit pissed cause i wasnt in the mood to help her make cookies. I DID help her make the cookies, but its just not the same. Every year me, my mom, and my sister make these powdered cookies, and starting last year i was getting tired of doing that. Guess im just growing up or whatever..dont know. But the fact remains that i just dont really want to do it anymore. It hurt my mommy's feelings, and i feel bad about that. It just gave her more reasons to want to move back to mexico. *sigh* and then earlier i had also told her that i wanted to spend new years with a friend of mine, and my mom said "well you two can just come and spend it here at the house" she said that cause she worries tooo much. As my mommy she wants to protect me from all the crazy, drunken people around houston. I dont blame her, i'd probably worry too, but gawdamnit!! im 18 and i've spent the past 17yrs with the family!! why cant i just have this one new years with out the family?? blah blah blah, lemme go check out some of my friend's websites...hee hee, they rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh yeah, its already sunday.... happy christmas eve!!!!!!!
6:53pm
i've got a quote that a friend found somewhere on some site...here it goes... "See, this is no ordinary movie Santa Claus. This isn't a guy who's relatively jolly and throws a 'ho ho ho' in where it fits. No, this is Santa on crack. The kind of Santa who laughs at funerals. The guy literally laughs his way through the entire motion picture"

12/25/00 Monday oOChristmas DayOo
1:48pm -i feel like being very open and honest...
Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, la la la la. I say please try and be jolly all year long, its good for you. Choosing to be really giving and cheerful only during one certain time isnt too great in my opinion. So in a way, i do become a bit bitter during christmas, because it kind of saddens me that people cant always be happy all year long. I got a few gifts from my friends, nothing from my family. Everyone in my family is pretty much broke, my mom started to cry when she told us that she was sorry that her and my dad couldnt get us any gifts. We gave her a huge hug and told her we loved her, and we didnt need gifts. Hell, i didnt even ask for anything. When people would ask me what i wanted, i'd make up something, but i dont necessarily need much right now. [[im verrrry thankful for the gifts i did recieve though, thanks a bunch!!]] I told my parents that i was thankful to have electricity, running water, and a heated house for Christmas, and that was all the gifts we needed. That, and their love. Now, dont feel bad, or think that Im tryin to make you feel guilty if you got a lot of gifts or something. It's great that people get lots of gifts and stuff, i just hope that everyone doesnt lose the real meaning to christmas...which i think orignally started with celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Somehow it started to change, people threw in their own traditions, and then the corporate companies got into it, and made it into this huge gift giving holiday. I'm not the only one who said that this year doesnt feel much like Christmas, and i think its because we've sort of lost ourselves...I dunno. Maybe im just going crazy. =) The pretty lights and christmas trees are very cool, but i think its all tradition stuff that was added. Fa la la la la, la la la laaaaa!! You know what REALLY shocked me this year?? And i think accounts for why it does not feel like christmas for me...I HAVE NOT seen the Brady Bunch Christmas Movie!! =O Im telling you, they show it EVERY year, and i see it at least 2 or 3 times before christmas day, and this year i have yet to see it!! CRAZYNESS!!! I havent been updating my page like crazy, like i used to all the time. Because im trying to keep myself busy around the house and stuff, i want to get my mind off of some things, and people as well...That doesnt mean i dont love you all, i do. Ookay, lemme conclude this entry by saying "Hope you all have a happy, safe, and fun filled Day!!" [[cheesy!! *gags*]] ^_^

12/26/00 Tuesday
2:08pm-freeeeezzzzinngg!!!!!!!! =P
Its the day after christmas, not too much hysteria over any toys this year, did anyone notice that?? the thing that came closest to that was the Playstation 2, but it wasnt bad at all. Thats crazy. Normally theres always something on the news about how some parents got in a fight over a tickle me elmo, tamagotchi, talking big bird doll, or pokemon stuff. And this year..i didnt hear crap. Maybe they just learned to be a bit wiser..Most of the kids on our street now own a scooter. hee hee, i remember i used to have one in the 80's. slap bracelets were back for awhile here too, but i think thats over with again. Im freezing, my parents dont want the heater on, and typing makes my hands cold. But im willing to do it to work on my site. I've sort of neglected it the past few days. I used to update at least every 2hrs or something, and then it got to where i updated it just once a day. ......You know how dancing around questions and answers can drive some people mad?? I wont deny it, yes it can work out in the long run, and i have done it tons of times. But right now its like, dancing around the things is driving me nuts. I cant wait to hear things, because in the meantime im constantly thinking about it, and wondering what the person is going to say. Its still hard work trying to get over what people think of me. I have been saying "fuck it" a lot more lately, but still...
6:46pm -feeling nothing-
you know when youre laughing, but then you realize that youre laughing alone..you dont really have that person who completely understands you there with you....i feel so alone. its not that i dont appreciate the company that people give me online and when i see people who visit me..it just doesnt feel the same. when i feel, its not the same..its almost like its all the same.
10:11pm
things get a bit better after you talk to some good friends and have a few laughs amongst them...
10:39pm
tomorrows i gets to go eat brunch with my awesome art teacher and some buddies. yay!! i'll get out of the house!! today i only went out twice...and it was to my driveway. hee hee. not much of a life i know, but my mommy felt it necessary, cause i didnt do what she asked me to do yesterday. i said "what? i did everything you asked me to do. what was it you think i didnt do?" "well. the restrooms need some cleaning up" "but you didnt tell me about that, how am i suppose to read your mind?" "the point is that you didnt do it, so you cant go out today" "fine..." and i walked off. what a crazy bunch of people my family is.
11:53pm
do you ever have those moments where you dont regret something you did, but you realize that it did end up ruining something up for you in life?? and it probably wasnt the wisest decision you've ever made...things are happening for a reason. it'll all be okay in the longrun, at least thats what i have to hope for. in a few weeks or months i'll probably look back on this entry, or point in life, and chuckle. and think about how emotional and worrysome i was...hee hee.

12/27/00 Wednesday
12:03am
yeah....i'll look back and chuckle..*cries*
2:21pm -feeling a bit cold...
I'm listening to a Beatles song right now.."All you need is love" Hee Hee. HOw appropriate dont you say?? If you worried like a few of my friends did because of my last entry, dont worry. I'm doing fine. You know lil ol me, i can withstand almost any shit thats thrown at me. Nobody is the center of my world right now, i am the center of my world. hee hee, selfish i know, but hey!! i have to learn to love myself all over again, so i can get more self confidence...by the way. Im in search of a boyfriend, so please email me to apply. *Laughs* Im so silly!

12/29/00 Thursday
1:08am -feeling full of food and happiness from tonights events....
just got back from IHOP [[international house of pancakes]] it was my first time ever going there, and it was a blast! i hope to one day go there again and again and again. i stuffed my face, on the way home i was like "wooah lordy, cut back on the intake of food next time..." hee hee. its pretty late...geesh, and to think in about 3 days it'll be 2001!! ya know what?? of course ya dont, lemme tell you what. for the past year i have been convinced that it is already 2001. so now this new yr coming in is going to totally fuck me over. pardon my language. =P ....me go nite nite now.
3:04pm -feeling like theres bubblegum in my mouth..oh wait..there is!!
my cousin asked me to hang out w/her today and i think thats coo. cause she's only 1yr older then me, but we havent hung out in forever. when we were both like 6 or 7yrs old we would always be over at each others house playing barbies and stuff...but then that stopped. we both changed considerably... especially her i think. so...we might be going to some park and drinking coffee somewhere. i dont really drink coffee...oh well. lately i've been going out a lot..thats amazing to me. i've still gotten my chores done too, so it can be done mother!! hee hee. once school starts back up again im sure it'll all go back to sucking. j/k.
9:36pm -feeling sleepy
wow, its only 9:30 something and im already tired..normally i dont get tired till around 2 in the morning or something. i've been going out a lot lately this week, i think thats pretty great. cause otherwise i'd be at home being lazy doing nothing. i hung out today with 2 vegetarians. we ate at this restraunt called <<niko nikos>> i think. they serve Greek food there, it was quite yummy. also we went to this garden park of some sort, it was really pretty...and cold! brrr. hee hee. i had a great time though, i'm feeling happy that im lucky enough to have a good life. it does kinda suck that im single, i liked having a boyfriend, cause well...partnerships are cool. but i can do just as fine with out them, i managed for 17yrs w/out em. yup yup...Jessimica is A-Okay! ^_^
10:06pm
found out the name of that garden i went to <<Mercer Arboretum and Botanical Gardens>> it doesnt have an official website, but this is the one that most link the garden to.

12/29/00 Friday
1:03am -feeling wide awake...
im wishing my cousin and brother would share more french fries with me, but noooo =P meanie heads. hee hee. uhm, its early in da morning, lately i've been going to bed around 1 or 2 or 3 am, and then waking up at like 9 or 10am. my mom is very loud in the morning and once i wake up ...i wake up. im going to say woopee, cause a friend found out about <<coldplay>> before me...but at least he knows of them. and that rocks, the more and more you people get to know that band, the more happier you'll be. hee hee. "and i saw stars..." i should probably get to bed soon..
1:21am..
.yup yup. still up. just chilling, talkin to a buddy online, nice fella. some other dude was sending me a song, but nooo, he has to get offline. =P oh well i'll get it off of napsta later on. just like usual...which reminds me...people who wanted me to burn them a cd, i havent been able to do it at all yet..cause urr..yeah. so anyways. =) its friday, 2 days till new yrs. awesome.
5:32pm -full from eating Ramen
la dee dah, my sister wants me to make her RAmen soup right now..so i'll go do that and be back later. alright, its still cooking, lemme get back to my lil story of todays happenings thus far...went to the DMV with my buddy Win, nice guy wanting to take me there today. i had to renew my license, thank god i FINALLY got that shit done. whew, the line there was loooooong. i had to wait like 40 minutes to finally get my picture taken and stuff. i probably came out looking stupid, hee hee. i liked people watching there, most of the guys were cute. then there was this old man in front of me who kept on striking up conversations with this cute girl and younger guy. im sorry, but the old man smelled nasty. i had to keep on moving around to get to a spot where i couldnt smell him. imagine having to smell beer + piss + shit + cigarette smoke. =P nasty nasty nasty..anyhooo. the line started to pick up pace, gave the lady my info, signed up to vote, gave her the money, snap took the pic, and left outta there. i felt bad for all the people there who had to wait longer then me. hee hee, this one lady i think couldnt speak too much english, she was asian, and giving the lady at the front desk the most hardest time. *sigh* i could have just left home today with no problem, i had all the ID that i need in life to be able to get a job, travel....but of course i didnt just cause im not ready for that yet. ....just knowing though and having that feeling for a few minutes was good. =) yeah...very good..*smiles*

12/30/00 Saturday
1:32am -feeling full of food and not sleepy at alllllll
whoa nelly its early. i was just eating a cheeseburger, chicken nuggets, and french fries from <<wendys>> yum yum. we [my sibs and i] were hungry and so we went out and got ourselves some grub. it doesnt seem late out though at all. our front door neighbor is out in like 30 degree weather raking, mowing, and sweeping his lawn. talk about nutty. nice fella though. my mommy really wants my sister and i to go to bed though, i dont blame her. it is pretty late. i like staying up on vacation though..gosh darn it!! just remembered that i have to study for this test on wed. i durnt want to take it *pouts* but i gotta. if i fail it, i'll just sign up for it again later on...yeah...oooh. just popped 2 of my fingers, i like never pop my fingers. i hate doing it, mostly cause i get scared that i'll break something. silly me i know. cant help it though. its almost new yrssss, at this time tomorrow it'll be 2001!! how awesome...yeah..lets hope that the world wont end. ha!! i know it wont...well, i cant tell the future, but im pretty sure it wont. so just trust me on this okay.
4:44pm -pissed.
my mom is fucking nuts. wont let me go out to spend new yrs w/anyone. she says its family time and that all families should spend it together, and thats why we are. so i cant spend 12am anywhere but home. FUCK!! im sorry, but right now im pissed. i ask for too much, but in this case i think its a bit simple. AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!! i hope i calm down soon, or else i'll go nuts!!!!!!!!!
9:12PM- FEELING BETTER
HEY EVERYONE, IM FEELING MUCH BETTER, AND IGNORE THE FACT THAT IM WRITING IN CAPS. NEW YEARS IS JUST ANOTHER DAY, BUT WITH A LOT OF DRINKING, SEX, FIREWORKS, AND SCREAMING. ..HEHE. IM SURE WHATEVER IT IS I DO, IT'LL BE BETTER THEN WHAT I DID LAST YEAR. WHICH WAS SLEEP. YEAH, SO....CONTINUE WITH WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANTED TO DO. THANKS FOR READING UP ON ME. MWA!!