Anime Deathmatch

   

Ash and Pikachu (from Pokemon) vs. Jubei and Kagero (from Ninja Scroll)

Ash: I choose you Pikachu! Jubei: I choose you ninja girl, Kagero Kargero: Hey I'm not your pokemon Ash: Pika chu off Jubei's pokeballs ::Jubei dodges protecting his most important assests:: Jubei: Kagero, hit pikachu with a crushing ninja attack (and look sexy while you do it) Ash: Pikachu, counter with a thundershock ::Kagero's clothes burn off from the thundershock:: Pikachu: PIKA?!?!?!?! Ash: Ewwwwwwwww, yucky, what are those things? Jubei: This is like, the fifth time that we have seen a naked woman in this movie. I can't take it anymore. ::The audience seems to like it though:: ::Pikachu faints from the horror:: Ash: Pikachu, return! Go Ash! ::Ash throws himself into the battlefield:: Jubei: Make love to the little whimp boy, so we have an excuse to put a rape scene into this movie. I mean, poisoning those you sleep with is your only weapon, right? Ash: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Don't touch me like that. Brock......um I mean Misty is the only girl I love. Kagero: Jubei, that's kiddie porn. That's not allowed in this movie. And besides, when have you even seen a girl rape a boy against his will in an anime? Jubei: You have a point there. Kagero return. I will win this battle. Kagero: Fine, you stupid bitc..... Jubei: HEY! There are kids in this movie! Kagero: Shut yo mouth. Use you super rice ball toss, slash 'em attack. Ash: ::upset:: Pikachuuuuu, tell me an attack to use. Pikachu: Pika? Pika! Pikachuuuuuuuuuuuuu? Pika! Ash: Ok. ::Ash pulls down his pants and sticks his middle finger up at Jubei:: Jubei: Why, you impolite little brat. You are just jealous because I am animated much better than you and my movie is so much more popular than yours. Ash: Ha! At least I had a sequel. Kagero: Stop it! You two sound like little girls. Ash: But I am a little girl! Pikachu: PIKA??!?!?!?!?! Ash: Just kidding ::Pikachu electrocutes Ash to death and Kagero slices Jubei into millions of pieces:: Jubei: What did you do that for?!?! ::audience wonders why he can still talk:: Kagero: This movie is degrading. I'm quitting and becoming a wholesome pokemon master. ::Pokemon theme plays in backround. 2 B A Master, Pokemon master!:: ::Pikachu and Kagero ride off into the sunset:: The End

   

Kero (from Cardcaptor Sakura) vs. Mokona (from Magic Knight Rayearth)

Kero: Hey, Sakura, can I borrow some clow cards? Sakura: No way kero, you can’t use them! Kero: Fine you ditzy, whimp, at least I don’t need Li to save me every time I can’t catch a card! Sakura: You little freak of nature, that’s only in the English version of my show! In Japan, girls can actually catch cards by themselves! Kero: Alright, how can I beat this marshmallow puff of fluff? Mokona: Puuuu? Kero: Puuuu? That’s so gross! He’s even a rude little thing too. Kero: PUUUUUUUUUU ::Kero flies around and steals some cards out of Sakura’s shirt:: Sakura: Kero, I’m only in 4th grade! That’s not allowed in the show… Well at least not in the American version. ::Sakura runs off crying:: ::Umi, Fuu and Hikaru crack up at Sakura:: Tomoyo: Hey you dumba*ses (opps not on geocities!) Sakura is my best friend, don’t be mean to her. Umi: Haha, what are you going to do, little, pale girl? ::Tomoyo proceeds to dress up Umi in a funky costume and then begins to tape her:: Umi: What the hell is this?!?!!?!?!? Are you a lesbian or something??? Kero: HEY, DID WE FORGET THAT THIS IS MY BATTLE? Fuu: Sorry, Kero-San. Go Mokona-San! (I love Fuu, I can’t make fun of her) ::Umi and Tomoyo proceed to smack each other with large rubber hammers:: ::Hikaru spins around and flower petals fling out of her butt for no reason at all:: Kero: Windy, I choose you. Opps, I mean release and dispel!!! ::Mokona proceeds to Puu Puu off the walls:: Kero: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Windy blew you away. ::Mokona makes the diamond on his forehead glow and out comes a blow up girl Mokona:: Mokona: Puu Puuuuuuuuu… ::sweatdrop:: ::Mokona tries again and out comes a digimon:: Mokona: PUU PUU! Kero: Time Card, Release and dispel! ::The digimon freezes, but the endless bundle of energy, Mokona continues to Puu Puu:: Kero: You little, THING! Mokona: Puu Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! ::Mokona whips out a pokeball:: ::Kero Skillfully pulls out Sakura’s clow key:: Kero: Oh key of clow, power of magic…….. blah blah….. (REALLY the Japanese version isn’t this corny!) ::The clow key grows in what looks to be a sexually suggestive way:: Mokona: Puuu PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU = What the hell is that?!?!?! ::The magical duck stick falls on Kero’s head:: Kero: Ouch… Mokona: PUU PUUU = Sucka! ::The pokeball rolls over to Mokona and the stupid thing trips and is caught by his own pokeball:: ::Umi takes a spaz and stomps on the pokeball:: THE END!

   

Lina Inverse (from the Slayers) vs. Motoko Kusanagi (from Ghost in the Shell)

This is a very good match. We have the cute, annoying, small breasted, red headed Lina versus the callous, arse kicking Kusanagi. Lina happens to have the advantage in cuteness and magic. Her huge explosion attacks might be able to take out those monsters in her series but not Kusanagi. Kusanagi happens to pack some heavy artillery and some weapons of mass destruction and stars in her own critically aclaimed film. (Lina's film was pretty lame. Sorry Lina, but it sucked. Didn't you even look at the script?) Before Lina can even start chanting her lame spell, Kusanagi whips out her huge gun and blows Lina off the face of the Earth. Of course, Kusanagi does it with some serious style and rips off her tight leather suit in the process, only to give Lina a naked butt kicking.