So many months have passed since the last time I wrote here. Since then, the world has changed in immeasurable ways, yet stayed very much the same. The terrorism hinted at by the subject of my last entry - that time committed by "one of our own" - has unfurled into a greater horror. Yet so many of us still wake up each morning, go to work, love or grumble about our jobs, love and/or fight with our families and friends, work at making our lives better, and go to sleep at night in hopes that the next day will be a better one, or at least as good as the one before.

I don't want to go into detail about my thoughts about September 11th. Like many I was horrified and shocked, and remain so, but not terribly surprised. It was only a matter of time before the US was dragged into the terrorism that plagues much of the world. But, here it is, nearly four months later, and I'm still not quite sure about my feelings about the current state of affairs. I'm a pacifist at heart, and always will be, but I recognize the need for justice. I believe that Bin Laden and his cronies must be held accountable for what they did. The Taliban is finally being brought to its knees for harboring such terrorists and for the atrocities committed against its own people, which I do think is a good thing.

Still, I'm deeply suspicious about much of what I hear on the news regarding the war, and scared as hell about many of the laws being passed or proposed in the name of "security" and wonder if we're definitely on our way to a police state, or if we can switch tracks before it's too late.

(Did I say I didn't want to go into detail? Silly me.)

My own life has been a bit topsy-turvy of late. It actually started before September, the end of June, to be precise. All my fears about leaving Disney, and not taking the voluntary package? Bad move. As of June 29th I became one of many Disney employees "involuntarily separated" from my job. Needless to say, I was scared as hell, never having been let go from any job before, but I looked at it as an adventure of sorts, knowing that I would be better off in the long run. So I filed for unemployment (another first for me), signed up with tons of temp agencies, and proceeded to look for a job. To no success.

I was able to do a lot of TV extra work during August, which was very cool. I worked on NYPD Blue, ER, Judging Amy (2x), Spin City, Maybe It's Me, Thieves. It was a complete blast. If I could actually support myself doing extra work, I would be doing it now. But for a non-union extra, the base pay is $50. After eight hours, it goes up, but for me those days were few and far between.

So now I'm temping in Accounts Receivable at an entertainment company, which bores me to tears, but enables me to try to catch up on some (very late) bills, though the forty-five to sixty minute commute is much longer than what I've been used to in the past. (Granted, my previous commute was ten minutes or less, so anything more than that makes me pout. I know, I've been so spoiled.) But I'm still looking for a decent paying job, so cross your fingers for me. Please?

I changed the parameters of one of my long-term friendships in September and I'm praying that I haven't irreparably damaged it. I don't think I have, but there were some things that just had to change and, though I'd been thinking about it for a while, the events of September 11th focused my thinking. The last time we talked we said that we would still remain friends, but I haven't heard from my friend in a while.

In October I hooked up, very briefly, with an old friend of mine that I used to have feelings for, back in my early 20's, with the knowledge that nothing serious would come of it. Still, I managed to let my some of those old feelings revive (silly me) and proceeded to have those feelings tossed about. Well, it was something I went into with my eyes wide open, so I don't really have anyone to blame but myself. Well, he should shoulder some of the blame, but that's because he's a bit on the cowardly side. Something may still come of this whole incident, but if so, it would only be to have fun. (What can I say? The boy's really good in bed.) My feelings for him have definitely undergone something of a change.

As for the holidays, they've been busy, yet quiet. The lack of funds for most of my family meant my siblings and I bought gifts only for the kids and Mom and Dad, with no drawing of names like we usually do. I've thrown a party, which was really just a small gathering, and went to several other parties, including two Whose Line Is It Anyway? parties thrown by my brother and his girlfriend. Surprisingly enough, I wasn't too bad. Pretty much everyone laughed and the funniest guy there told me I should look into doing comedy professionally. Who'da thunk? (Too bad this guy is married. And he's really cute and smart, too!)

I went to the folks' on Christmas Eve and to my sister's place in Fresno on Christmas Day and ended up working at Paramount Pictures for two days over the holiday week. As an avid Trek geek, you can imagine how much I enjoyed that, even if there was no filming on the lot that week. I'd love to go back!

And here it is, a brand spanking new year, and I have no idea what to do with it.

Well, that's not entirely true. There are many things I want to do, and I'm going to try my damnedest to do them, but I'm hesitant to make them resolutions because I don't know if I'll be able to keep them.

But first on my list is to get a new job. At this point, it doesn't even have to be in entertainment, though that would be my first choice, of course. But I really need a good-paying job with benefits right now, and hopefully I could leave in a year, after I get all my bills paid and the entertainment industry is in better shape.

Not surprisingly, I'm also sick of not being in a relationship. February 1st will mark five years since my last one broke up. That's just too damned long. I've never gone that long without one. Thank heaven I've had sex in that time, otherwise I'd be unbearable. But I'd really like to change that whole "no relationship" thing.

Since I've recently been getting into classical feng shui (oh, shaddup), I've come to the conclusion that part of the reason for the last relationship going south and no relationship since is the fault of my apartment. (Because none of it could be my fault, could it? Nah!) So I need to find a new place.

Which brings me to my next goal - getting a roommate this year. I need to get a new place and I miss not having companionship, so a roommate is the best way to go. I already have one in mind who would love to room with me, but she was recently laid off, too, so once she gets herself all situated, that will probably be the way to go.

Of course, there are lots of other things I'd like to do (exercise more often, write more often, audition more often, etc.) but those are the main goals for this year. Gawd, I hope I can do them.

As for the future of this journal, well, I'm not sure there is one. I might write again or I might not. Maybe I should chuck the current layout of Fleeting Imprints and try something new. I haven't made any decsions yet, but I don't recommend waiting with baited breath. You'll pass out before anything happens.

But if I don't come back, I just want to say these last few years have been fun. Thanks for reading, I really do appreciate the small audience that I have had.

If I do come back, I'll let you know when and where. For the meantime, take care, everyone, and have an incredible 2002. While you're at it, have the most kickass life you can. We all deserve it.