Hiya Bubbas and Bubbettes! Roving reporter,
Kutten Paste here! I got a hot lead today from
a source who shall remain nameless (don't
mind that picture over there).

It seems as though a couple of the 40's gals
were deemed unfit to order from a menu that
did not require speaking into a clown's face.

I caught up with them in the 40's Paltalk room.

 

 

"Ah thweer ah can
order me up some
vittles jest the way
mah mama taught
me ta do."

...Bubbette Luv

 

"Whaat she be
sayin's is bout how
ah feels too. Mah
mama done taught
me some of dem
dare manners."

...Bubbette Texy

 

"Well, slap mah mama
silly! That dang Zipn's
bout shoved his whole
dang foot in his mouth!"

...Bubba Tall

 

"Ain't no dang way
I'm gonna listen to
this chit. Somebody
buy my azz a drink!"

...Bubbette Gayle

 

"Ack! Don't you be
talkin' bout my girls
like that!"

...Bubbette MO

 

"Hey you! I knows these
gals got more class than
that. They be havin' indoor
plumbin' and those freezer
boxes! Hell, just look at
these pictures!"

...Bubbette Pink

 

 

 

"That Zipn dude don't
know what he bees
talkin' bout. Them
ladies order up nicely
from my rest-e-rant
all the dad gum time!
Hey, ah'm off to visit
White Trash Jac!"

...Bubba Ghost

 

"You back off'n mah
girlfriends! They be
cookin' up goodies
lahk Possum Stew
and Crawfish Cake
fer tha trailer park!
Cain't get much
classier than that!"

...Bubbette D3

 

"What wuz tha question?
Dayum that Bubbette up
thar is one hot mama!"

...Bubba Tony

 

"Yo Mr. Reporter! How
bout you report mah
boobie size stead of
them broads'es eatin'
habits!"

...Bubbette Traffic

 

"Honey, we call it
a rosebud, not a
boobie."

...Bubbette Mysto

 

"Ah done tole that
Bubba Zip I wuz
feelin' trigger
happy!"

...Bubba @RoomHost

 

"Hey Kutten, you's
cute. Now give me
a fukn donut and
bring me my dang
mule."

...Bubbette Audra

 

"Hale, ah don't knows
nuttin bout them gals'
restaurant skills, but
when they calls me
on the teleephone,
they never say nuttin!"

...Bubbette Elm

 

"Why won't someone
ask me what's under
me kilt?"

...Bubba IPM

 

"Kuutnn sho me yaa
nkeid piic i wnao f kuc
ya noww!"

(Translation: Kutten, show
me your naked pic. I want
to fug you now!")

...Bubbette Lulu

 

"Yikes!"

...Bubba Rusler

 

"Hey, I ain't eaten with
them girls, but they
done bought some
a mah extree large
baskets for dem holes
out backa thar trailer!"

...Bubbette Giggle

 

"Don't look at us. We
don't be havin time to
worry bout nuffin wid
all these rugrats poopin
thar diapers. We just
squirted down Junior
with tha garden hose."

...Bubba Mars and
Bubbette Mist

 

"Catch me after ah
put my lil ones down
for a nap. I got mah
eye on you, big boy."

...Bubbette Penny

 

"Dem gals is peachy.
They always be bringin
fresh vittles from tha
Roadkill Cafe when dey
come watch football on
mah 13 inch wide screen
teleevision set."

...Bubbette SPF

 

"What you askin' me
stuff for? They all
think I'm friggin crazy.
'Sides, I gotta make a
imaginary sandwich
fer mah imaginary
daughter."

...Bubbette Sunrise

 

"Hiya big boy! Finish
that report and cum on
bah mah place. Ah'll fix
ya up some chittlin's,
then show yew why
everyone loves white
trash. Jest don't be tellin'
mah boy toy, Bubba Ghost!"

...White Trash Jac

 

"Ah loves mah girlfriends!
They always be right
gracious when they come
to tha clinic fer their shots.
And Chef Bubba done tole
me they can read that dang
menu ever time!"

...Bubbette Nurse Snowy

 

"Yew wanna pray? Go
find another Sista! Ah'm
too busy downloadin'
the newest 'Devil Be Gone'
software fer all these
trailer park exorcisms."

...Sista Heart

 

"Ah ain't never arrested dem
gals fer nuffin'. They always
be ladies. But that Bubbette
Traffic is 'nother story. She
bees flashin' me all da dad
gum time so I gots ta keep
her cuffed!"

...Bubba Cop Respond

 

"Hey Kutten, glad ya found
me. I spend mah days sloppin'
dem hogs and recording da
turkey gobbles. But ah wanted
ta tell you that dem gals is a
hootin and a hollerin all hours
of da dang night! Oh, how does
I know? I ain't sayin' chit!"

...Bubbette Ohio

 

"Hi Kutten! I'm the trailer park
school marm. Our curriculum
includes 'Fitting in with the
Outside World / Reading a
Menu 101' so I can vouch
for these ladies."

...School Marm Anna

 

"I only go out with them
gals when they bees
wantin to drink dat dare
fancy booze. They like
ta balance their glasses
on all mah piercings.
They tell me ah gots
holes in mah head."

...Bubbette Just

 

"Yo dude! I don't hang
with them two twits. Hale,
I's only hang with mah
relatives. That's wha they
calls me Cousinfocker,
Unclefocker, Auntfocker,
Brotherfocker and more."

...Bubba Focker

 

Send yore sweetie pie
a right nice love pome!

Redneck Love Poem

Ah gots it from Bubbette D3.
Ain't she sweet as molasses?

You, too, can be a redneck! Fill out the application below!

Name:________ Nickname: Bubba_______ Skeeter_______ Other____
Can you spell your name correctly? Sometimes______ Never_____ With Help_____
Current Addess:________________ Number of Months Behind on Rent:_______
Neck Shade: Light Red_____ Medium Red_____ Dark Red_____ Peeling_____
Number of Teeth in full grin: 1___ 2___ 3___ More?_______
Approximate size and weight of beer belly:___________
Brand of Beer____ Brand of Chewing Tobacco:_________ Brand of Snuff:______________
Make of Pick-up truck:________ Size of Tires:________ 4 Wheel Drive?__
Number of Months Behind on Payments:__________ Does it have doors?_____
Altitude of Running Boards: 3'______ 6'______ 12'______ 16'______
Number of Empty Beer Cans Under the Seat:________ Broken Windows?_______
Is Truck Appropriately Equipped with the following?
-- 8 track Hank Williams tapes: ___________
-- Pit bull: __________
-- Air Horns: __________
-- Roll Bar: __________
-- Steer Horns on hood: __________
-- Musical horn that plays "Dixie&qquot; __________
-- "David Duke For President" bumber sticker __________
-- "BOCEHPUS" bumper sticker ___________
-- Red Man chewing tobacco bumper stickeer __________
-- I love grits bumper sticker ___________
-- "America, Love it or Leave it&quuot; bumper sticker __________
-- Desert Srorm bumper sticker ___________
-- 12 foot CB antenna __________
-- Illegaly altered 1 gigawatt CB transmmitter __________
-- Spitoon __________
-- Mudflaps __________
-- Curb Feelers __________
-- Shot Guns in back window __________ How many of the following items are in your front yard: (working or not)
-- Gardens made of old tires (tractor orr truck) __________
-- Trucks or cars __________
-- Chickens or goats __________
-- Household appliances __________
-- Old Trailers __________
-- Bath Tubs __________
-- TV sets __________
Describe your last Elvis sighting:________________________________
Have you ever taken a date to a tractor pull?___ Hog calling contest?___
Do you own any of the following? Fertilizer hat?____ Feed hat?_______
Shoes?______ Belt buckles that way more than three pounds?_____________
If so: Have you worn them to Funerals_____ Weddings______ Church_______
Job Interviews________ Fancy restaurants like Dennys's?__________
Do you bathe with: Soap_______ Relatives________ Small animals_______
How often? Weekly______ Monthly______ Once a year_____ Twice a year____
Have you ever been shot at by: Ay-rabs___ Gooks___ Angry Husbands______
Wives_____ Fathers-in-law______ Mothers-in-law________ The Law_______
Does your wife weigh more than or less than: Your guitar___ Your truck__
Have you seen her in the past: Two weeks____ Two months____ Two years__
Have you seen her when she wasn't: Pregnant____ Barefoot____ Mad______
Have you ever stayed sober for a whole weekend:_____________
If you have had someone read all the above questions to you and you have completely understood them then place an "X" on the line below.
________________ Witness Signature________________________________

Thanks Lulu

ROADKILL CAFE MENU

You Kill It, We Grill It!


Chef Bubba
 

---ENTREES---

Taste of The Wild Side

"Still in The Hide"

That Mess!

A Daily Special Treat

---Side Orders---

---From The Bar, Your Drink is our Delight!---

 

RoadKill Basic Recipe
Rules of The RoadKill

1. Freshness is always the rule (if it's still there on your way home, it's too late).
2. Semi-squashed is much better than squashed; anything clobbered by an 18-wheeler is absolutely undesirable.
3. Blacktop surfaces are much preferred over dirt roads; concrete is a gourmet's delight.
4. Remember the early bird catches the....ah, worm!

Road Chicken

Saute RoadKill until tender. Add onion, cook until onion is translucent. Add the rest of the seasonings, mix well and add beer and bullion cubes. Cook 10 - 12 minutes on medium heat.

 

 

SANDY's SPECIALS!

One breast of Buzzard - with or with out Feathers .... $10.00.
Slab of Lab .... $7.50 per pound.

LISA's DINNER SPECIAL, ONLY ON THURSDAYs!
Poodles and Noodles ... $1.25.

 

This page was a collaberative effort between
Luv, Texy, Ghost and Pink

Back to Forties Flashes

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