Chapter Twenty:
The Nineteenth Hole
and Cruciverbalism
(1993 - 2002)

20.4 Esther and Her Illness

During the last years of John's life, the sons were actively looking for different options of offer them. One of the options was for them to go into some kind of special home. The locations of ones considered are shown on the map below:

The three that we would come to know the best are:

1. Leisureworld (located under the last "o" of Toronto) where John would go in March, 2002.
2. Ina Grafton Gage Home, where we would take Mom for visits in 2002, (Blue diamond, located below the "k" of East York).
3. and the Angus Ewitt Home, where Mom moved in March, 2003, (location indicated by the red diamond just West of "East York").

20.5 Other Fletchers

At the end of the 1990s, Ron retired, Bern was still teaching full-time, and David tooks leaves of absence to work with the teachers' unions in Russia and Ukraine. The photo at right is in Kiev, in front of their Teachers' House, in 1999:

20.6 John's Fall and Bedridden, January 2002

John's Reactions to Esther's Alzheimer Disease

1. Denial: John refused to accept that Esther was ill. He insisted that she would get better if she would simply listen to him and be more determined and strong willed. For him it was strictly a matter of will.
2. Anger: John could not stop himself from becoming angry with Esther. She would ask the same questions time and time again, which would irritate John.
3. Withdrawl: John and Esther became reclusive during this period. They stopped visiting friends and relatives. They sent fewer cards and phoned less often.
4. Anxiety: Facing another day became a source of stress, as he would refuse to make plans for the future, and then worry about not having plans.
5. Depression: John came to feel sad and hopeless much of the time.
6. Exhaustion: The ordeal was also very tiring. He no longer had the energy to collect songsheets and certainly not to golf.
7. Sleeplessness: Esther would get out of bed throughout the night and this would wake John.
8. Emotional Reactions: John came to react emotionally to most things --and often in an irritable and judgemental way.
9. Lack of Concentration: John, who had previously prided himself on his concentration, found that he could no longer focus on the things he wanted to do.
10. Health Problems: And lastly all of this took a toll on John's general health. He gained weight, became ill much more often, and became a couch potatoe.

4 Jan. 2002 John suffered a bad fall in his second floor workroom. It was likely that it occured when he stood up too quickly after working from his chair. He partially blacked out, or at least lost his balance, and crashed to the floor, banging his head on the way down. Mom called me and I called an ambulance. Ron and I then met at East General Hospital and visited John. He had many x-rays and sent him home. Later they called with the news that he had cracked ribs. Caregivers Maria, _______, and later Elizabeth were all very good.

Fletcher, John Gordon --Born 29th of March,
1911, Tilbury, Ontario.
Peacefully passed away, on 24th of December, 2002.
Survived by beloved wife Esther, sons Ronald,
Bernard, and David, grandaughter Laura,
great-grandaughter Emily, and sister-in-law Edith
Fletcher. Predeceased by brother Arch, and sister
Marjorie. Musician in several orchestras, including
Air Force Band. Teacher, Valetta Public School, 
1934 - 1941. Pilot Officer, Royal Canadian Air Force, 
1941 - 1945. Married Esther Mackness, Ottawa, 
1943. Graduate Bachelor of Arts, Master of Arts
(English Literature), 1949, University of Toronto.
Taught English at Harbord C.I. 1949 - 1950, Central
Commerce 1950 - 1951, and Malvern C.I. 1952 - 1973.
Member, Scarboro Golf and C.C. Friends may call
at Sherrin Funeral Home, 873 Kingston Road

The Visitation

The Funeral Service, 30 December, 2002

There were many people at the funeral. Ron did a good job with the eulogy.

The Burial

20.14 Epilogue

The written records of my father, John, reveal a obcessive man who was very frustrated by his lack of success and several conflicting tendancies. For example, he was internally conflicted by his insistance on independence and his reverance for authority.

The picture of John as a senior which emerges is that of an exceptionally strong-willed man desperately anxious to keep control in his own hands, just as his physical health was not enabling to do so. The contrast between his determination to stay in control and his failing abilities increasingly dominated his last years. This frustration engendered by this struggle exacerbated his stress levels, and his health problems.

20.15 Esther Moves to Ewitt Angus Home