| Home - Exalted |
Tonight on Exalted Tonight (ET) |
|
3 May 2005 |
LOST: Will our big damn heroes ever find the plot? Viewers watched amazed as for yet another session, the cast of characters avoided coming together as a group, staying for the most part happily immersed in their own plotlines. Surprisingly however, whether by design or cunning accident, this group of adventurers brought together by Fate has succeeded in unearthing clues that will help them discover what's actually going on. But will they ever get together long enough to figure it all out? Will they ever find out what they all can do? Who will be the next to come out of the Exalted Closet and flare their aura in public?? Stay tuned for the next spine-shattering, essence-tingling episode! Top THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL: King's Personal Scribe tells her friends: "No, trust me - he's just my boss". Sources close to the daughter of Tavern Keeper Abraxus Nellen say that although Maryn has confessed to spending lots of time in the King's private apartments, there is nothing special between them. "I'm just helping him with some, um, scribing, is all", she has reportedly confided to her closest friends. "Like, he's under a lot of pressure with running the Kingdom and all, and he gets so busy and tense, you know? So every now and then I just pop up to the Castle to help him with his, um, scribing. You know - letters, treaties, that sort of stuff". Sure, honey - we believe you! (hmmm ... was that french letters, I wonder?). When asked to confirm the emerald-skinned beauty's position of Personal Private Scribe to the King, Seneschal Aristarchus would only roll his eyes and murmur cryptically, "His Majesty is most impressed with her diligence". Top SUPERNANNY Exclusive! Kasha and the Lost Tribe - will these cute cubs keep Kasha from the Keg? In exclusive interview with ET, self-confessed drunkard and ale-house brawler Kasha has told how her life has changed forever - with an adopted tribe of beastmen. Deep in the borderlands outside the Kingdom of Ramun, this remarkable young woman has taken on a unique challenge. The one-time smith and inveterate lush has described how a charming tribe of beastmen has given her a new direction and focus on life. "You know, until now, my life has been an endless round of beating red-hot metal, getting pissed, beating guys senseless, getting locked up, then beating red-hot metal again. Then one day I woke up and found myself here, surrounded by these weird beastie guys. They kept staring at me, looking at me like I was some kind of god or something. It was a bit weird at first, but they were nice enough. They reckon I'm their leader, a special kind. I'm sort of used to it now I guess, all the adoration and worshipping. Look, I like being a smith, right, and going down to the tavern for a pint or ten and a bit of a brawl - but right now, these guys need me". When asked what special talents or skills she has that helps her in this challenging humanitarian task, Kasha replied, "Special Talents? Me? Um, no, nothing, nothing at all. Nothing special ....um, I mean, I'm just this girl, you know ...". So what does this mean for the smithies, pubs and watch-houses of Ramun - will they see the old Kasha back? "Yeah, absolutely! Me, give up drinking and brawling? Hell no! Just because you're a god doesn't mean you have to be fuckin' boring!". Top WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? Arnon in mad grab for Manse booty! When will he ever learn? Who'd have thought it? Self-effacing import-export entrepreneur Arnon is believed to have recently diced with death in a reckless raid on a hidden fount of power, or Manse. A reliable witness says that Arnon braved certain death (or at least near-permanent crystallisation) in a daring snatch-and-grab from a Manse in a secret-squirrel location. "He's just so brave!" whispered our source, who would only identify herself as "Mistress X". "He confided to me (he does that, you know, he knows he can trust me, you see) that he found some beautiful little crystals that did all sorts of wonderful things - yellow crystals that stored essence, he called them "Coppertops" though they didn't look coppery to me, just sorta yellowish, you know? and purple ones (no, no, not those ones, thank goodness!) that he called "Xerox crystals" - funny names, I know!). He could make a fortune selling them, but no - he's going to give them to the King as a gift to help the protection of the Kingdom! I know he'd never say a word to anyone about it, he's such a modest young man. He'd never say how he went out there all alone, into the wilderness, fighting off who knows what horrible peril, all for the good of the kingdom and not a thought for himself! So brave! So selfless! Someone has to tell his story, so everyone knows the good deeds he does. Look, I've written it all out for you, so you don't miss a thing - now, here it is - I've done it in Riverspeak, oh, and one in Low Realm and one in High Realm ....". Top X-FILES Mystery Solved - Location of Marshall Arawn revealed! With the King's Marshall not sighted in weeks, rumours have run rampant in Ramun on his whereabouts. Has he been rent by wyld beasts, curdled with pox in a whorehouse, skewered in a tavern brawl with itinerant jongleurs, or banished to the icy northern wastes for insubordination? No-one will admit to knowing for sure, and Castle sources won't say. However, a copy of a secret scroll leaked to our correspondent deep in the heart of Castle Ramun has revealed that Marshall "Go ahead - there can only be consequences" Arawn is actually on a highly sensitive and super-secret mission to the Mask of Winters. It turns out that according to an ancient First Age prophecy the current ruler of Ramun (King Tarlon) is destined to marry the Mask of Winters, and giving the Mask dominion over Ramun. While no doubt the King is chuffed at being mentioned in a Prophecy, he must be feeling just the slightest bit iffy at the whole Ramun-being-conquered thing (and having to marry a bloke as well). According to our castle-correspondent, the secret scroll reveals that King Tarlon has entrusted Marshall Arawn with the delicate task of approaching the Mask to negotiate a settlement: anti-aggression - or pre-nup?? Either way, I suspect that our noble Marshall will be busy for quite a while! Top McTARLON'S DAUGHTERS: Servant to Savant - what's next for Padua? A horrific accident left Padua without her eyesight - and without a job. "I was terrified," confessed the 17-year-old former castle Ramun servant. "I mean, one minute I was emptying the chamber pot in the Lady Aeryn's rooms, and the next I was agony with the eyes ripped out of my head. I didn't know what to think!". Thankfully, quick action by castle staff meant that Padua's life was saved, although tragically her eyes could not. Weeks of painful healing and super-strong pain-killing potions left poor Padua feeling isolated, alone and depressed. And, she thought, destined for the castle scrap-heap. "I'd lost my eyes, so I couldn't see to do my job any more. I mean, who wants a blind serving girl? The King was great, he said that I could stay on until I healed. But I didn't know what I was going to do after that - I knew they'd sell me, so I figured I'd be out on the streets begging I guess - I'd try and find a corner in the poor quarter somewhere to sit on". But fate had something different in mind for young Padua. Unknown to her, Aeryn (new confidante of the King and, like him, a Solar Exalted) had decided to take Padua under her wing. According to Padua, Aeryn bought the serving girl's contract from the King and promptly tore it up, declaring Padua a free woman and vowing to help her learn new skills to help her be independent despite her vision impairment. Says Padua, "I want to be just like her - she is so kind and wise. She's teaching me to speak new languages, I'm learning history and about different lands and all sorts of things I never imagined. She's even trying to teach me to ride a horse," she laughed, "I'm still a bit scared of them - they're so big! But I know that with Aeryn's help, I can be brave, and I'll be riding all by myself one day". The former serving girl smiles disarmingly - "It took me a while to believe it, but it's true - just because I can't see any more doesn't mean I can't be useful!". Top QUEER EYE Special: Liqour, leather, and a hot, hot forge - Mad Frederick struts his stuff. Newcomer to the Ramun smithing and armouring scene Mad Frederick has set the city on its ear with his brightly-coloured leather goods and avante-guard armouring styles. While traditionalists have poo-pooed his bohemian attitude to design and colour, those with more liberal tastes have flocked to the artisan's workshop-cum-distillary in the village of Hardde Knott outside Ramun. "I don't see myself as rebellious", the madcap maestro of metallurgy declared. "I just create as the mood strikes me. We see so many swords these days in basic shades of iron, jade and bronze, and scabbards and harness in plain brown leather. There are so many colours and textures out there, its simply criminal not to enjoy them all!". While his crafting skills are centred on the forge, Frederick has recently started experimenting with a new medium - leather. His 'Ha-wah-ee' range of stylish cuirboilli armour and debonaire leather trousers, jerkins and floppy hats in stuning shades of scarlet, daffodil and snow-white has simply walked off the shelves of his workshop, while reliable sources note that the city guard has just placed an order for 100 custom-designed red leather cat 'o' nine tails with diamante tips. "I just love the supple strength of leather," Frederick confessed, running his capable hands lovingly over a fine example of a custom-made plaited stock whip. "It has just so many possibilities!". Demand has been so great for Frederick's things that the workshop area may have to be expanded. "You know, I started out making fine distilled beverages, and that is still my first love and main income. But this whole leather thing is just getting so huge, and there are so many ways it can be used - on its own, or with other substances such as metals, lace or hemp - we can make items for the battlefield, the court or even for the home. Who knows what we'll come up with next!". Top LAW & ORDER - SVU: Senschal pleads for help for the needy. Seneschal Aristarchus surprised many when he came out in public recently to ask for expressions of interest to build a hospice for the maimed and sick. "It is the dawn of a new era in Ramun! No longer will we allow those with total and permanent disablement to fester uselessly in the cesspits and lower socio-economic strata of Ramun. I invite all of you with warm hearts and deep pockets to come forward and help us with this exciting new project. On behalf of King Tarlon I say to you now: by the Year 790, no Ramun cripple will be living in poverty!". Top SIX FEET UNDER? Daneus Holt lying low after raunchy sex romp through Ramun city - but will he survive Rosira's wrath? A sheepish Captain of the King's Guard was lying low today after being spotted leaving a string of seedy whorehouses and taverns in downtown Ramun city during the night. Freelance reporter and portrait-taker Sorghum Bargenowt followed a thoroughly pissed Daneus from a wild drinking spree at Gaia's Bosom to over fifteen different establishments of ill repute throughout the city. It was close to dawn when the obviously exhausted but still upright Holt was assisted by two unidentified friends back to the Castle after his night on the town. While many men (and ladies!) of Ramun can't help but admire his stamina, there are no doubt some who are less than impressed. The lady Rosira (daughter of Baron Beynar Jathan), who Holt has been courting in recent months, is reportedly distraught at the very public night-time antics of the dashing Captain. The ravishingly beautiful heiress has secluded herself in her apartments and refused absolutely all engagements. "How could he do this to me?" she wailed, tears welling in her deep blue eyes. "He swore he loved me, that I was all he ever wanted - but it was lies, all lies!". The Baron, while refusing to confirm off-the-record reports that he has already contacted the Captain's apothocary in attempts to determine the source of his amazing stamina, has publicly sworn to see Holt dead, or at least given the lash for such thoughtless treatment of his daughter. "A good lashing, yes that's what the boy needs to get these urges out. One of those nifty new red leather numbers, with the iron spurs on the end, hmmmm, yes ......". Top |
|
|