Collection of Slattery Hymns

These are to be sung during or in between the Reverend's sermon, or whenever you visit the church. Our organist, Richard Vranch, provides the music during the masses.

Mah brothers and sisters, when you're in love, just think of this song.

In Love With the Barman

Tony: I'm the bacon, and you're my chips.

I'd like to shipwreck in those standy-out nips.

You are the center of my life,

If you weren't a big butch man I'd ask you to be my wife.

Mike: You know a lot of people say strange things,

But very few of them get through to my heartstrings.

I've put up a front for oh so long,

But that burning in your eyes is oh so strong,

You see through me, then do me, right here.

Or when you are in love with yourself, hum to this little tune.

In Love With Himself

I got a little problem, I can't get enough

You know what I'm talking about

I'm talkin' 'bout me--I'm hot stuff.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I just start to sweat

'Cause I'm the most beautiful person that I've ever met!

Hate your middle name? This'll cheer you right up.

Angry About His Middle Name

Tony: I got a middle name and I feel malicious

'Cause my parents called me Patricius.

This middle name is such a heavy load, that when I say it,

I can feel my testicles explode.

Josie: You've been drinking far too much,

Make sure you don't get in a car.

And remember it's not the name your mommy and daddy gave you,

It's the person inside that you are.

So be proud, Patricius, c'mon, take my flattery.

It's much better than being called Tony Slattery.

Are you not getting enough loving in your life that you have to resort to inflatable objects to get it?

In Love With An Inflatable Pig

I've got a problem I'd like to report

When I see Porky Pig my pants distort.

Oh yeah you know what I mean

When I see that porker, I spill my seed.

You know animals are my ilk, I spray them with man milk

I go yeah...Porky...Porky...you're the one for me.