Cybill Quotes

Cybill Quotes!

[Episode 4 - "Look Who's Stalking" (1995)]

"The eyes of Maryann are on you...All the live long day...You got a lawyer and divorced me...But you can't get away." ~Maryanne(singing, to the tune of ["I've Been Working On The Railroad])

NEW![Episode 11 - "The Last Tempation of Cybill" (1995)]

"...I bought a telescope." ~Maryanne
"'For what?' she asked. Fearing the answer." ~Cybill
"Don't worry. I checked with my attorney. I am within my legal rights as long as my telescope is pointed at the stars. So far I've seen Orion, The Big Dipper, and William Shatner.

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"Was there any other progress?" ~Maryanne
"No, we're still taking it slow." ~Cybill
"Define slow." ~Maryanne
"Just kissing." ~Cybill
"Just kissing what?" ~Maryanne
"You're a pig." ~Cybill

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"I bow to you." ~Maryanne
"Maryanne, nothing's going on." ~Cybill
"Does Ira know?" ~Maryanne
"There's nothing to know. I'm doing a play with Ira and I'm doing Rick." ~Cybill
"Excuse me?" ~Maryanne
"I mean I'm dating Ira and I want to do Rick. I mean I wanna play with Rick. Ugh! Leave me alone!" ~Cybill

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"So, how long have you two been married?" ~Rick
"What makes you think I'm married?" ~Rachel
"Maybe the wedding ring gave you away." ~Zoey (sarcastic statement)

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"Well, excuse me, I'm going to go get a little something to wash down these chips." ~Rachel
"How about a bucket of gravy." ~Zoey (sarcasism)

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"What are you doing here?" ~Cybill
"Well, I was on my way to a party. A party which I have ungood authority will also be attended by my ex-husband. So I was thinking, what could I wear that would fill him with regret for leaving me? And then it hit me!" ~Maryanne
"Maryanne! You can not wear Rick to the party." ~Cybill
"Come on. He's the perfect accessory." ~Maryanne

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"Still waiting, huh?" ~Waiter
"Yeah, well, you know women." ~Ira
"Theoretically." ~Waiter

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"Peek-a-boo, I see you standing at the door. Peek-a-boo, I see you lying on the floor." ~Maryanne (singing a made up tune)

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"...Hey, you wanna watch Elliot Gould cook dinner?" ~Maryanne
"Absolutely not." ~Cybill
"He's nude." ~Maryanne
"Maybe a peek. (gasps) That man has the biggest...Wait. That's an over mit." ~Cybill
"This is such a wonderful hobby. Last night I saw Kirsty Alley eat an entire pie with no utensils. My turn.
"I'm a terrible person, Maryanne." ~Cybill
"Ah, come on. Anybody would have looked." ~Maryanne

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"I feel like I'm being tested. I hate tests. Tests suck! ~Cybill

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"Cybill, we've known each other a long time." ~Maryanne
"You know me better than anyone." ~Cybill
"Yes I do. But you don't need my advice. In your heart of hearts, you know the right thing to do." ~Maryanne
"Yeah, I guess." ~Cybill
"Jump that boy and use him till there's nothing left but an empty husk." ~Maryanne

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"Hey noisy lady. You like to peek? Here. Take a picture. It will last longer." ~Elliot Gould (opening his robe)
"If you insist. Oh, this is going to make a fabulous Christmas card." ~Maryanne (smiling)
"Say cheese!" ~Cybill ::snap!::

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"...I'm her father, you know. I could talk to her too." ~Jeff
"Jeff, she's having martial problems. All you know about martial problems is how to cause them." ~Cybill

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"...Get Rachel a cupcake! Quick!" ~Cybill

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"Your daughter's really sweet." ~Rick
"As long as we keep her fed." ~Cybill

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[Episode 36 - "Three Women and a Dummy" (1996)]

"Do I look okay?" ~Zoey
"You look... fearse." ~Cybill
"Thanks, mom." ~Zoey
"How about me, how do I look?" ~Maryanne
"You look, uh, toxic." ~Cybill
"Score!" ~Maryanne

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"I've looked forward to our first date for a long time...pinch me." ~Maryanne
"Yeah, this does kinda seem like a dream." ~Ira
"No, I mean, pinch me. I've looked forward to that for a long time too." ~Maryanne (laughs)

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"Relax, Ira. Have some bree." ~Maryanne
"We're spinaling to uncertain death and you're offering me cheese!" ~Ira
"Is that bree?" ~ Michael Feinstien
"We talked about this Feinstien! You eat up front with the pilots!" ~Maryanne

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"So, Zoey, how was the prom?" ~Maryanne
"It was a pitiful attempt to recreate an erra that is fundamentally irrelevant to my generation." ~Zoey

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[Episode 23 - "The Odd Couple" (1995)]

"I've never played crocket in a cemetary before..dodge ball, yes, but..." ~Maryanne

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"That's what I love about Hollywood. You can't hit a crocket ball without tripping over somebody famous." ~Maryanne

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"Charleston?" ~Ira
"Oh, aren't you just the cats pajamas." ~Maryanne

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"You've crossed the line, mother! Shawn is a part of my life that you have no buisness getting anywhere near!" ~Zoey
"Let's get one thing straight missy! I'm the mother and if anybody's going to be self-righteous and condescending around here it's gonna be me! I just wanted to make Shawn feel welcome! I didn't do anything wrong!" ~Cybill
"Oh! Then that explains the police then, doesn't it!" ~Zoey
Oh, lighten up! We sawed off a mailbox! You were young once!" ~Cybill

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"I like her. She reminds me of you." ~Shawn (talking to about Cybill)
"You're really not good at this, are you?

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"I've come to say thank you and uh, good-bye." ~Ira
"Good-bye? You mean it's over?" ~Maryanne
"I'm sorry." ~Ira
"I wasn't crazy enough. Tell me the truth..there's another muse, isn't there?" ~Maryanne

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"My muse. My sweet shiny muse." ~Ira
"Wow. I've never been dumped so beautifully before. I don't even think I'll stalk you." ~Maryanne
"Well, that's my loss. I've seen your work and uh, you're the best." ~Ira
"Aaaw, you. Now get out of here before I saw halfway through your break cable." ~Maryanne

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"Hey! Anyway we could put out an all points bulletin on Dr. Dick?" ~Maryanne
"Kids stuff. Let's have him indicted." ~Cybill

[Episode 71 - "Where's a Harpoon When You Need One?" (1997)]

"Look at these flowers." ~Maryanne
"They're beautiful." ~Cybill
"They're from Dr. DicK. ~Maryanne
"Get down!" ~Cybill (after tossing the flowers out the window)

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"...Dick doesn't want you back. He's trying to spoil your wedding." ~Cybill
"You're right! Of course! It's the ultimate retaliation! Well, I have the element of surprise. I'll get married tomorrow. We'll rondez-vous at O900 hours and execute the mission by 1100 hours." ~Maryanne
"Wait! I have to do my cooking audition somewhere between 800 hours and 10 hundred hours." ~Cybill
"Fine! We'll move it to 1300, that give you 300 hours to get ready." ~Maryanne
"Maryanne, I'm lost. Just tell me where the big and little hand are and I'll be there." ~Cybill
"10-4." ~Maryanne
"Cut that out!" ~Cybill

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Dick-Dock Dick-Dock Dick-Dock Dick-Dock Dick-Dock Dick-Dock...!" ~Cybill

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"Waiter! Darling, give this to your mother." ~Maryanne (handing the waiter an expensive watch)
"My God! She has never had anything this beautiful..and she never will." ~Waiter

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"I'm so sorry I'm late. If we hurry we can just make the ship." ~Maryanne
"No, I knew you'd be late so I told you to be here an hour earlier then you needed to be." ~Cybill
"Yes, but I knew you'd do that so I got a facial. Now we are in fact late. But I dare you to find a pore." ~Maryanne

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[sniffing the air] "Wait a minute. I'd know that cologne anywhere. It's Ode DicK!" ~Maryanne

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"Let go!" ~Maryanne
"I can't." ~Cybill
"It's my letter!" ~Maryanne
"But it's bad for you." ~Cybill
"So are 'Ring Dings' but do I yank them out of your mouth?" ~Maryanne

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"Did you read this?" ~Maryanne
"No! And it's all lies!" ~Cybill

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"Darling? Didn't you want to talk? Okay. Maybe now isn't a good time, but that's not a problem because I'll always be there for you...DicK! When there's acid rain coming from your sprinklers, I'll be there. Whenever there are fire ants in your tanning booth, I'll be there. When you've deluted yet another poor unsuspecting X-ray technician into excepting your loathsome advances and a PACK of rabid doberman JUMPS into your jacuzzi and RIPS THE VERY SOUL FROM YOUR BODY, I'LL BE THERE!!! Still don't feel like a chat, sweetheart? I can wait. But what will I do while I'm waiting? Ooh look! Isn't that your brand new Bently?" ~Maryanne

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"I can not believe him! That tear gas was one part sulfer dioxide and two part ammonium cloride! It will never come out of my throw pilliows!" ~Maryanne

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"Bastard! This is war! And God help me I do love it so!" ~Maryanne

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[Episode 81 - "Whose Wife Am I, Anyway?" (1998)]

"Oh! I'm an anarchist." ~Zoey
"Did she say Anti-Christ?" ~Grandma Robbins
"YES!" ~Zoey-(in a low demonic voice.)

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NEW![Episode 82 - "Dream Date" (1998)]

"Zoey, you don't pay the rent and I buy all the food. What exactly do you need the money for?" ~Cybill
(sarcasism)"Gee, you're right, mom. Why don't I just live here forever?~Zoey
"Back off, Ira. She has to work. ~Cybill

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"I dread this." ~Cybill (talking about her blind date)
"I'll just let myself out the back. I don't want him to know you've had better." ~Ira

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"So what are you drinking, Bruce?" ~Richard (looking at his menu)
"Oh, I just think I'm gonna have a sip of whatever Cybill's having." ~Bruce
"I'm having six glasses of wine." ~Cybill
"And how about you, Maryanne. Would you like a cocktail?" ~Richard
"It had crossed my mind. ~Maryanne

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"Good. Irritate the person who will be alone with your food." ~Waiter (after Bruce had whistled and called him "Garkon" rather than "Garçon")

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"There's one thing we're sure of is that money can't buy happiness." ~Richard
"It's like I don't even know you anymore." ~Maryanne

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"Cybill, you deserve an apology for this whole blind-date thing. Richard, apologize!" ~Maryanne
"Maryanne is sorry." ~Richard

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You! What the hell are you doing in my house, you bastard!" ~Zoey
"What she said!" ~Cybill
"You are the scuzziest, cheapest, most morally bankrupted man I've ever met! ~Zoey
"He's dating Zoey too?" ~Ira

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"Psst! Maryanne!" ~Cybill (loud whisper)
"Please God, you promised me no more talking wallpaper." ~Maryanne

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"Look at these clothes! So this is where the 70's came to die." ~Maryanne (in Cybill's closet)

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"You may not want to come in here. I'm counting my money." ~Maryanne (to Richard)

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"...I mean, face it. You're meant for each other. I mean, you're such a giver and she's such a taker!" ~Bruce
"This strange tormented man speaks the truth." ~Maryanne

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"THAT'S IT! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!" ~Cybill
"You can't send him into that storm." ~Ruth
"He saved my ma." ~Ira
"He paid in cash." ~Zoey
"He made us whole." ~Maryanne/Richard

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"Cybill, I can see up your dress." ~Bruce
"Well then, wave it good-bye!" ~Cybill

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Golden Girls Quotes

Golden Girls Quotes!

[Episodes 127 & 128 - "The President's Coming! The President's Coming!" Part 1&2 (1990)] (*Some scenes may be from differnt episodes due to flashbacks)

"Have you ever heard of dirty dancing?" ~Blanche
"Yes. They did it in that movie." ~Dorothy
"What movie?" ~Rose
"Lawernce of Arabia." ~Dorothy

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"Mrs. Nylon, could you answer a few questions?" ~Secret Service Man
"As long as it's not math." ~Rose

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"So you're 5 years older. So am I. So is Blanche. So you have a few wrinkles. So do I. So does Blanche. So you're thicker around the middle. So is Blanche!" ~Dorothy (talking to Rose)

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"Ma, Rose isn't talking to me." ~Dorothy
"Enjoy it while it lasts." ~Sophia

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"What am I a 7 Eleven? I'm not open all night." ~Sophia

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"Dorothy, why don't we have a pet?" ~Sophia
"Does anybody want a cracker?" ~Rose
"Forget I asked." ~Sophia

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"Was that a plumber?" ~Sophia
"No, that was a little girl selling Girl Scout toilets." ~Dorothy

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"Hello, Mr. President. My, you have a lot of Secret Service Men." ~Blanche
"Hi, Blanche." ~Secret Service Men
"Hello, fellas." ~Blanche

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NEW![Episodes 174 & 175 - A Midwinter Night's Dream" Parts 1&2 (1992)]

"So who's the luckiest girl in the whole wide world?" ~Rose
"Well it wasn't your mother." ~Sophia

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"What did you win?" ~Dorothy
"A free prostate exam." ~Rose

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"Do you think this necklace compliments my bossom?" ~Blanche
"If the necklace could cheer, it would." ~Dorothy

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"I won. I won another prize." ~Rose
"What this time, a visectamy?" ~Dorothy

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"I think I'll go to my room, turn out my light, and wait for the voices." ~Rose

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"I have to kiss a fool to get rid of the curse." ~Sophia
"Why don't you kiss Rose and get it over with?" ~Blanche

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"There's only room for one young devastating female." ~Blanche
"Oh great. Then I just came in under the wire." ~Carol Weston

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"Last night I dreamt I ate a giant marshmellow and when I woke up, my boyfriend was gone." ~Carol
"I don't get it." ~Man (smiling)
"It wasn't a joke." ~Carol

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"I want you to be my Maid of Honor." ~Rose
"...I won't have to wear horns and a metal belt." ~Dorothy
"No Dorothy, this is my wedding." ~Rose

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"Barbara. I always loved you Barbara." ~Sophia
"I'm not Barbara. I'm Carol." ~Carol
"Oh yeah. The winy one." ~Sophia

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"Miles, will you marry me? I'll make you the happiest woman on earth." ~Rose

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"Dryfuss. I guess I did invite every male in town." ~Blanche (after opening the door and seeing Dryfuss, the Weston's saint bernard)

"Ma, it was little kiss." ~Dorothy
"A little kiss? I haven't seen that much face biting since 'Silence Of the Lambs." ~Sophia

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"...There's a few things in life that you have to remember. You got your health and you can walk, right?" ~Sophia
"Yeah." ~Blanche
"Then go get me a glass of water." ~Sophia

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"A tossed salad could out wit you, Rose." ~Blanche

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"Your eyes are as clear as the meditarian in the summer." ~Derrek
"I've been told if I cross them, they'll stay that way." ~Rose

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"There's nothing wrong with kissing a friend." ~Miles
"Or a stranger." ~Rose

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"If we shadows have offered think but this and all is mended. That you have but slumb'red here, while these visions did appear. And this week and idol theme, no more yielding but a dream." ~Dorothy
"Oh pardon me as I play the grand piano." ~Sophia

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I Love Lucy Quotes

I Love Lucy Quotes!

"Ever since we said 'I do,' there are so many things we don't. ~Lucy

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"I love you." ~Lucy
"Lucy, what do you want?" ~Ricky

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"Hey listen, do you know anything about rice?" ~Ricky<
"Well, I had it thrown at me on one of the darkest days of my life." ~Fred

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>"Wouldn't you feel terrible if you went home without seeing the queen?" ~Lucy
"I'd feel much worse if I went home without spending the money Fred gave me." ~Ethel

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"Ethel tells me your faucet's leaking."~Fred
"Well, you didn't have to rush over. I told her two years ago!" ~Lucy

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"Dishwater is very hard on diamond rings." ~Lucy
"When we got married, you said you would never take your ring off." ~Ricky
"When we got married, you said that dishwater would never touch these lily-white hands!" ~Lucy

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