Turn Away From Me



There were three in the bed,
And the little one said
-Roll over- Roll over-
So they all rolled over and
Rachel fell out.
(Fucking surprise.)

There were three in the bed:
Two present, one alone.
Is my arm too heavy on you?
Turn away from me.
(She has a fucking boyfriend.)
Turn away from me.
(Fuck you too.)
Kissy-kiss noises,
Whisper- sweet nothings, darling,
(I can't hear you when you whisper.)
Kissy-kiss noises.
(I can't hear you when you whisper at all.)
Rachel, but Hannah said to call me
Imogen.
Imogen- I could see you as that.
I could see you as Imogen.
(You don't fucking know me.)

Trial tomorrow.
Color it all in.
These aren't my people:
Abercrombie and Fitch.
Turn away from me.
This your CD?
Turn away from me.
These aren't my people.
Ugly one sleeps by herself.
Heave-ho, then.
To the bathroom you go,
To write shitty poetry and wish you were sitting in the bathtub.
(It's too wet.)

If I return, is there room for me?
These aren't my people.
He's like a furnace!
Take off your shirt!
(Scared to touch the hot skin.)
And then, a realization:
Not touching at all.
Close quarters no doubt- Is my arm too heavy on you?-
Not touching at all.
Turn away from me.
I think and speak.
Turn away from me.
I am ashamed to be ashamed of myself.
Turn away from me.
I have a pimple on my chin.
Turn away from me.
My breasts are too small for my frame.
Turn away from me.
I take anti-Depressants.
(How fucking hip am I?)
Turn away from me.

I wonder:
Do they know I'm in here?
Do they know I counted to three minutes and then
Left?
Do they think
Fucking loser?
(Fuck you.)
She wanted more space?
(I wanted to not be so repulsive that you had to lay on top of her to avoid touching me.)
Glad she's gone?
(Glad to be gone
I probably would have sucked you
If you'd said something sweet and at least
Pseudo-genuine to me.
Or said my name.
Or looked me in the eye.
Or acknowledged my existance.)
Turn away from me.

April 2, 2004