Random Fragments of Wacked Out Fiction



This tree here; was a badass tree, the real motherfuckin' forest masta. So when the rainbow kid was bouncin on thru this badass tree's hood and smokin that reefer, this badass tree was understandably mad as hell, because if there's one thing that trees hate (other than each other, as we can derive from the empirical evidence of many tree civil wars) it's the flaaaaame! So this badass tree dropped a branch on rainbow kid's head!! Rainbow kid was like, "shit! I better think rapid-fire speed," and rainbow kid put his joint right up in a hole in this badass tree. So before this badass tree could defend hisself he was KO'd ass-flat by the Chronic Power (TM). So Rainbow Kid survived the ordeal and this badass tree was shown a new side of life. So what's the moral of this shit? If you haven't figured it out yet...



There was this chill bear, in the woods. He was constructing his habitation bordering an abundant proliferation of the cannabis leaf, making it fairly convenient for Dr. Chill (the bear), to make excellent utilization of this phenomenon.

These wee little bears were in the anarchic jungles of Hybernia. Living day to day was a continuous battle for survival and preservation of the family. There were coca-dealing lions, cutthroat thieving parrots. There were psychotic serial killer tigers.

The coke-dealing armadillos of the shady jungles of Columbia were an unruly lot. After numerous unsuccessful attempts to blackmail the Hybernian bears into joining a decentralized global coca distribution network, the armadillos resorted to vigilante tactics. Three Bogota-trained assassinadillos were dispatched to the Hybernian nether to neutralize their economic rivals, but the bears had by this time mobilized into a highly disciplined formation, The Guardians of the Holy Chronic. They would defend their hallowed fields to the death (and beyond).



Jesus was rolling through the house of Saud, Mecca, visiting the disciples of Mohammed. Images of idolatry were scattered throughout the city, but Jesus was impervious to the violation of scripture conduct. Jesus had arrived at this point in space and time to consult with fellow Prophet Mohammed.

The prophets consulted amidst an eery atmosphere of pain and progress, and the clanking medeival factories. Jesus was infused with the impetus of social reform. Mohammed, a sceptic due to the impossibility of escaping their current predicament, was not the same level of optimism as the Christ who hails from Nazareth.
Nazareth was a brutal place, a perpetual Roman police-state under the iron hand of Caesar. Jesus was raised by solely his mother, a durable woman who survived single in the face of occupation and domination. As a consequence of this, the young Jesus faced many hardships, growing up self-sufficient and forging a trade of carpentry, mentored under the watchful eye of Joseph. Jesus came to be adept at his skill, marketing it, leasing it out to the richest Roman landowners.
But Ishmael intervened at the synagogues that Jesus frequented and taught him lessons in life and morality that he would later apply to his own teachings. In this manner, Ishmael's residual influence projected itself through the corridors of time, ripples reaching like octopus tentacles into the deapths of the remote future. Ishmael lectured Jesus with the soothing tones of Gnosticism. Forward to the embodiment of Jesus at his philisophical and political zenith. The crowds bustled at the announcement of an appearance by the alleged messiah, prophet incarnate, in the midst of the Israelites of Jerusalem, Holy City.