Here’s what’s on my mind on Monday, 2/2/04 as I sit on my bed while I listen to NIN



A windowpane
Through it, I can see the world
A gentle rain glistens off of the foliage
Humans move from point A to point B
Their small glow I can vaguely see
I can view life through this windowpane
But I can only experience with my eyes
My hand slowly reaches out to the world
But is painfully denied by the cold invisibility
How can something that allows life to pour into my room
Imprison me in this shell?

Fire
It’s sparkle and hiss brings me near
The feeling it gives me is almost without comparison
It pours warm goo of closure and euphoria over my head that slowly trickles down to
            my feet
It reminds me of how I feel when I am with
You stand on a ladder with a bucket filled to the brim
Ready to pour with the hint of a ring
I return from my happy state
I am untouchable
I crave as much warmth as I can get my greedy hands on
I reach into the golden flicker
It dances up and leaps at my skin,
Tearing at my flesh with its fiery teeth
My eyes tear and my teeth clench
I am baffled that something with such a benevolent glow
Can make me yelp so
And no, I am not tall and in the European wilderness
And I realize how much of life resembles this moment

But wait!
Stop the presses!
Hold the phone!
No longer will I drone
For there is one thing out there
That will not box or burn
No yang
Wherever one may turn

Love will let you see the world
Love will bathe you in goo

Love will not hold thee back
Love will not bite when one is too close

If I drink too much, I’ll feel sick
If I run too much, I’ll feel sore

But to love too much
Is simply a world over zero

2 February 2004