Back in the time when shit mattered

  I had my dreams shattered

Perceptions scattered with the wind

  Preconceptions dissolved before my eyes, a mirage

All illusions and disillusionment

       Can’t love anyone

             if I don’t love myself

  Caffeine and cannabis

          Constant consumption

  No exercise, not much sleep

             Don’t really eat

Unless you count

            coffee, coke

                 pizza, pasta

                     burgers and bagels

    and 3^rd world sweatshop labor

         and television and music, and music television

  and bullshit

Spend a lifetime searching the world for solutions

  while my own solution remains elusive

               ephemeral and untouchable

I can already see for twenty years

                                chained to a cubicle

     emotions castrated

in the interest of profit

                humanity leaving me

disinterest of the machine

        neutral observer of myself

Escaping to a dream

         of attachment and feelings

Can’t go back.

 

4 April 2004