Lance sighed happily, His love curled up next to him. Justin had fallen asleep there while they had been watching a movie. Lance had now been out of the hospital for around twelve hours, and already he was going crazy. He hadn't gotten a moment alone since then. Everywhere he went in the tiny apartment, either Justin or JC was there. Neither of them had let him out of their sites since he'd walked out the door of the hospital.
But Lance wasn't complaining now. He was quite content. He had Justin curled up on his good side, fast asleep, looking like the little angel that Lance always knew he was. He had his other best friend in the next room, cursing at his inability to get some melody worked out right. 'Yes,' Lance thought to himself, 'Life is good. Well, almost. Now if I could get this asshole to back off and get this pain in my side to go away, everything would be just peachy.' Lance smiled ruefully at that thought. Neither of his requests seemed to be going to happen any time soon.
Lance looked down at Justin when the younger boy stirred against him. Lance placed his hand on the boys head, running his fingers through the silky curls. Resting his head against the back of the couch, Lance closed his eyes and attempted to clear his mind of all negative thoughts, only focusing on the good ones.
His acts were doing really well with their respective record companies. Nsync themselves was doing exceptionally well on the charts. Their new album was in the works and almost finished. They had almost total creative control over this newest addition to their album collection. Joey's scripts were getting some good recognition by great producers. The movie Lance and Joey had done was getting decent reviews. They hadn't really expected much better than that. They were just happy that they were taken seriously about it. Chris's clothing line was doing really, really well out in the stores. JC was getting offers to produce right and left. Justin's foundation had just supplied fourteen inner-city schools with all the musical instruments they could need.
Justin. Lance could finally admit his love and show it to the man who meant the world to him. He finally had Justin, and that made him happier than anything else he could possibly think of. Yes, things were good.
Lance was wondering what kind of romantic thing he could do for Justin, when a whimper from his young love made it to his ears. Lance's hand stilled in the younger blonde's hair as he looked down at him. Justin's brow was furrowed, as if in worry, or pain. He was whimpering and mumbling in his sleep.
"Justin?" Lance whispered softly to his young lover. Worry was beginning to crease his own brow, Lance leaned down closer to his love, despite his side's protestations, trying to hear what his lover was saying.
"No. You can't. Please. Please, don't" Justin whispered in his sleep, barely loud enough for Lance to hear, but he did hear and the pain in Justin's voice tore at his heart.
'What is he dreaming about?' Lance wondered silently. "Justin, wake up baby. You're worrying me. Wake up, please?" Lance begged shaking Justin gently, so as not to startle him when he did wake. "Justin?"
"No, Lance. You can't leave me. Please. You can't. I don't want you to? Please stay here? Don't let them win. Beat them. You can't die. Please, don't leave me.?" Justin was pleading. Lance paled hearing his words. Lance's heart broke in two knowing that Justin was dreaming about him dying and leaving here there all alone.
"Justin. Justin you have to wake up now. It's only a dream. I'm ok. I'm right here. Please wake up." Lance begged, jostling the boy around more. When he got no response, Lance got louder, his voice choked by tears. Tears for causing his love pain. "JUSTIN!"
"NO!" Justin shouted, sitting up quickly his eyes wide. "Lance?" Justin asked, the relief in his voice evident.
"Yeah, Justin. It's me. I'm right here. You were dreaming." Lance explained, looking worriedly at his boyfriend. "What were you dreaming about, Justin?" Lance asked. He had to know.
"It wasn't anything important. It was just a silly dream." Justin said, nonchalantly, showing Lance that it was more than nothing.
"It had to be important. You were begging and whimpering in your sleep. It obviously upset you, so tell me what it was." Lance pushed, needing Justin to tell him what he already knew.
"It was nothing. Just a stupid dream" Justin said, walking away from the couch and starting down the hall.
"You were telling me not to leave. You were telling me not to die. I died in your dream didn't I, Justin?" Lance said, effectively stopping Justin in his tracks. Slowly Justin turned to face his worried and upset lover.
"What are you talking about?" Justin asked slowly, deliberately.
"I'm talking about your dream. The one I died in. The one where you were begging me not to leave you. Not to die and leave you. But I died, didn't I?" Lance asked. For reasons unknown to him, he had to know what happened in Justin's dream.
Justin's eyes filled with tears, giving Lance all the answer he needed. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, which he suspected to be his heart, since that's where it leapt to when Justin affirmed his thought, Lance just nodded. Looking away, Lance continued to nod.
"Lance?" Justin called softly, not sure what was going on with his green eyed angel.
"It's ok, Justin. I'm fine. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean anything." Lance said, still facing away from Justin.
Justin could hear the scared tone in Lance's voice and he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all. "Lance. It was a stupid dream that doesn't mean anything. Actually, it does mean something. It doesn't mean you're going to die. It just means that I don't want you to leave me. Ever." Justin said, his voice full of conviction, as he approached the man he'd loved for years.
"I wouldn't leave you Justin. Not if I had a choice. You know I wouldn't. I love you. I never want to leave you." Lance said looking back to his love, his life.
Lance could see the pain in Justin's eyes. He knew that pain. It was the pain of fear. Something he recognized from experience. "I know what you're thinking Lance. That won't make things better. It'll only make them worse, on me and you. Don't you dare regret this, because whether you ever told me you loved me or not, I'd have still loved you and it would still hurt if you left me." Justin said, his voice stern.
Lance's eyes widened at Justin's perceptiveness. "How did you…?"
"How did I know you were thinking of taking off? How did I know you were thinking that if you had kept you mouth shut and not said anything I wouldn't be hurting if something happened to you? Because I know you, Lance. Because I love you. I loved you before you told me you loved me. If you'd told me you hated me I'd have still loved you and it would have still killed me if anything happened to you. So if you walk out that door, you'll kill me twice."
Lance and Justin just stood there, staring at each other, reaching a new understanding of each other that they hadn't had before. Lance could see the love burning brightly in Justin's eyes for him, and he was sure the same could be seen in his.
"I just don't want to hurt you, Justin." Lance sighed, his eyes stinging with the tears gathering there. "I love you so much, I don't want to ever hurt you."
"Lance," Justin whispered, stepping closer to his lover. Justin reached one hand up to caress Lance's cheek, wiping away tears that had escaped his eyes. "Just love me, and be here with me, and you can never hurt me."