2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. (Mood swings)
3. You write post-it notes with your kids' names on them. (Memory loss)
4. Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." and your reply, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie f---ing Nelson." (Irritability)
5. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. (Sleeplessness)
6. You find guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner. (Fatigue)
7. You change your underwear after every sneeze. (Mild incontinence)
8. You need Jaws Of Life to help you out of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant. (Sudden weight gain)
9. You take a sudden interest in "Wrestlemania." (Female hormone deficiency)
10. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales. (Hormone therapy)
