A
Vision Of You and Me
Chapter
2 --- Life Under the Stage
By: Neo-Queen
Serenity
E-mail:
serenausako@hotmail.com
Webpage:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Shrine/6436
The door of a
luxurious apartment swung open, and a woman dressed in a white outfit stepped
inside. Serena shut the door
tightly behind her and leaned against it with a tired sigh. She was exhausted
and hungry. Dropping her white high
heels wearily on the hard wood floor, she walked straight to her fridge.
Throwing it open, the young girl seeked inside for something she could eat, to
fill up her empty stomach.
Milk. sandwich?
No, that was a week before. Fast
food? She forgot to do her grocery shopping last week. Order something? It's nearly midnight
now, all shops were already closed.
The fridge was
empty. Serena sighed and pulled out a microwave dinner from a cupboard. Throwing that inside her microwave, she
set the time for 20 minutes.
Serena dropped
herself lazily on the black leather sofa with a can of coke. Tired and exhausted from a day's
modeling. Sipping absentmindedly
over the brownish liquid, she closed her eyes. Serena wanted to have at least
few hours of sleep before the up coming of dawn.
*First I will
have to fix myself something to eat; second for somecleaning ups... When was the
last time I did a vacuuming? Last month? Or last year? Silly... At last, some hours of
sleep!*
She looked around
her apartment while lifting her heavy eye lids tiredly. It was a rather large, elegant and
luxurious apartment unit. Black
leather sofa lined neatly in a line next to her snow white walls; beige carpet
plus hard wood floor; forest green marble coffee table; large, clear bay window
joined to a pull aside glass door to the balcony. Spacey living room, decorated
with paintings and pictures; light green curtain contrasted nicely with the snow
white ceiling. A little distance
from where she was sitting, a huge TV stood with a pile of movie
videotapes. Of course,that's where
Serena's time goes when it comes to holidays. Across from the little hall, Serena's
bedroom joined to her private bathroom.
Almost all the furniture in her apartment was white or plainly colored;
yet elegantly placed and decorated, showing its mistress's great taste and
judgment. Serena loved white and
pale colors, she liked to be plain.
But is her life that colorless and pale like those of her snow white
walls?
Serena got up
from where she sat and walked towards the balcony. Lightly she pushed the door aside and
stepped into the night's dark cloak.
The night time of Paris is absolutely breathtaking. Millions of neon lights flashed here and
there, dressing up the dark sky line, winking and dancing like stars against the
navy backdrop. Red, green, blue,
and yellow sparkled from hundreds of restaurants, hotels and clubs of the well
known city. From the distant
highway, hundreds of tiny cars raced forward looking like small ants. It was a
stunning vision of our modern world, so bright, so dizzy.
Serena sighed and
inhaled the fresh scent of the spring night. She hadn't tasted the fresh air for so
long, she was always busy. Now she
missed them all.
Serena looked
down from her balcony, down from the 23rd floor. All grand scenery was captured by the
girl who stood by it. The cool
breeze lifted Serena's shining blonde hair, caressed its smoothness back and
forth, like a loving mother stroking her sleeping child.
Serena was in her
early 20's, 23 to be exact. Maybe
quite young to be a successful model of her age. 5 feet 8, tall, straight and
elegant. Most of all, her blonde
hair was her most fond symbol, it was the most natural and rich blond, flowing
across her shoulders and waist to form a waterfall of gold. A length that could make one jealous of
it's beauty, smoothness and perfect color. Serena could do whatever she wanted
with her hair, able to make it suit with the style which she was wearing.
As a famous model
Serena was considered beautiful but not just ordinary beautiful; enchantingly
beautiful. There is this certain
elegance that radiates from her, which makes her a special woman. Large
shiningsky blue sapphire always hold coolness and confidence, straight nose, a
pair of very curved lips that is the color of rosy pink. Occasionally small hue of red would
appear whenever she laughed or smiled. Curls of gold tendrils fell loosely from
her forehead, framing her face with more grace. No wonder she's a model, she as to be an
extreme beauty.
Serena leaned on
her elbows that now rested on the railing of her balcony. After a whole week's
worth of work she was finally home again.
'Home' what a familiar and cozy feeling, only it doesn't mean anything to
Serena. To her, it's just a resting place, like hotel, only to be stepped in and
out occasionally when she passed them by.
She did admit however she had a successful page in her life.
Serena Murphy, a
well known and successful woman in the history offashion. Paris knows her and the world respects
her. Designers and companies paid
her dearly in the past just to have her to model their clothing. Money seemed to fly like paper into her
pocket and the digits of her bank account kept increasing rapidly. Her pictures, her smiles occupied
newspaper articles and magazines.
Herself crowded by camera lights of media no matter where she went.
Everyone talks about her, everyone loves and admires her.
This is Serena
Murphy's life, swallowed and piled with the word 'success'. But is this what she wanted and wished
it to be? No, Serena sighed. Of course, she loved fashion, it's her
dream and her life. She is now in
the middle of that sweet dream, fullfilling it as she wished for it a long time
ago.
She loved her
career, she loved everyone and she appreciated the respect and support they
offered her. But were all these
enough? No, she concluded
again.
Working had
occupied most of her time, getting herself busy is the best method to run away
from the reality of life. Of
course, Serena Murphy is still single, there isn't' a single person in her life.
No one. But she wanted someone,
someone to love her and take care of her.
She wanted to be cherished and to be made special. She wants to love him back, to give him
love as much as her heart can offer.
She wanted to be cared for and loved in the embrace of the man she
loves. She wanted to have a real
home, not a represented apartment when she's alone. She wanted to be kissed and held when she stepped through the door by a
pair of arms, belonging to her loved one.
Not fixing a cold dinner after the lonely click of her shut door, not
sitting dazed, facing four empty white walls.
Who in the world
would have guessed the hottest model, Serena Murphy's life was like this under
the flash light of the stage? On
the stage, a confident young woman showed her world of her dreams and color with
the materials on her, is actually a lonely girl behind it? Who could have
imagined that behind her sweet, charming smiles, and the graceful figure, a
crying heart prays and arches? Who could have believed that in the shadows behind the spot light,
her elegant pace could be just as heavy?
Who else would trust that a bright person's life is even darker, who
knows the bitterness of success?
Silk, satin,
velvet, gold and silver, a dream built by a colorful person, who's here to
understand her, who's here to swallow the bitterness after the joy of success
with her?
Serena knew,
everyone worshipped her, they praised her, but who is there to point out her
flaw, to correct the mistakes in life for her? She didn't want praise, she wanted
understanding. Media? No, Serena
hates media. In her opinion, media
is a liar, a lair who wears that fake kindness while deceiving and killing. Camera lights would cast to her
direction no matter where she went.
Their narrow and critical eyes watched her with cold and cruel silence,
waiting for her to make a mistake, waiting for her to fall apart.
Serena knows very
well the media could help her but, they could also tear her world apart. They could pull you up into the height
of heaven, making everybody respect you and they could also push you into the
under ground layer of hell, then gloat over your pain and suffering.
In newspaper articles, Serena Murphy's the face of a
beautiful, cold and arrogant beauty.
In the eyes of many, she cared for nothing but money and wealth, as if
money is what she loves and lives for.
Money, what is money, it's merely a cold sum of green paper! It doesn't
have feelings or love, it only serves those who's cold and heartless!
Serena could feel
her eyes damp and her vision blurring. Pride, coldness were her disguise. She needed them to protect her from the
cruel world outside. How could she
deal with the dark world around her with a vulnerable heart and faithful smiles
filled with caring, trust and innocence? No, that's not possible, the world
would crash itself up on her, loading its heaviness upon her weak shoulder,
making her heart cry and bleed.
Pride, she needs
them, no matter how much she dislikes them. Serena Murphy, a strong woman could not
afford to be vulnerable under thecritical eyes of the modern world. She needs pride, she needs
confidence. Who would have ever
guess that a pretty models' cold and arrogant mask, actually covered a heart of
pure gold?
Serena shook her
head, this is ironic, life itself is an ironicconfusion... As everyone would
wonder, what's the story behind a famous model's dream? What was her legendary
past?
Serena could feel
her tears rushing down even more when thinking about her past. Serena's childhood was a tragic one, one
that was full of pain and bitterness.
She had never even had a glance on her own father, he died before she was
even born. Leaving behind his
pregnant wife and unborn daughter, leaving them helpless, alone...
Young Serena
would always understand her lonely mother.
The death of her husband brought the life of her daughter. Mrs. Murphy
hated this cruelexchange of life.
Yet she's comforted to some level, she has a wonderful daughter, someone
who's related to her by blood, someone who's her only kin in the world. Serena would always love her and comfort
her, calling her mother. The most
painful part of Serena's childhood was to watch her mother's tear stained face
after a tired day's work. She's used to wash her days with tear. She was aging, sickness never left her
side.
Serena vowed to
herself. She will work for her
dreams, to build up her own world of wonder with her own bare hands. She would have lots of money, for her
mother. She would buy anything in
the world for her because she had lost too much before... Serena dreamed, worked and pleaded to be
a famous model. Her mother had
always supported her silently with her love and care. Serena knows how much her mother loves
her, how much hope and prayers had she placed into the only daughter of
hers.
Now, Serena
Murphy stood, alone, without the satisfied smiles from her mother's curved
lips. She died. She died when she was only 44. She left
too early, following the path to her dear husband, to a world wherethere is no
violence or poor, but peace and love.
The departure of her was too early, too early for her to witness the
success of her beloved daughter; to see her confident smiles on the stage and
graceful pictures on the front page of newspapers. She left, silently, without knowing,
leaving Serena alone...
The most tragic
part is, Mrs. Murphy departed from the world on Serena's 18th
birthday.
*****Flash Back (5 years
ago)*****
"Happy birthday,
Serena dear." Mrs. Murphy
smiled.
"Thanks mommy, oh
chocolate cake! Candles!" A happy Serena squealed.
"I knew you would love it. Come on now,
blow out the candles?"
On the little
table, a chocolate cake sat neatly in the middle as the words 'Happy Birthday'
stuck out, written in a nice white cream italic style. Surrounding the chocolate center, little
flowers and stars made of colored cream decorated the cake's outer border. 18 little candles flames danced in the
center. 18 of them, Serena is now
18 years old, a mature adultwho could take care of herself. When the moment Serena blew out the
candles in the quiet singing of her beloved mother, Mrs. Murphy's face suddenly
turned white and she fainted.
"Mother?! Mother!
Mother!!! Wake up, what's wrong
mother??!!"
Serena screamed
to her with fear and panic in her
voice. With little sense she rushed
to the telephone and dialed 911.
(40
minutes later)
"Doctor? How is
she?..." Serena asked with large tears whirling in her eyes, her voice so low it
was merely a shaking whisper.
She was so
scared....she was afraid she'd lost the last relation she ever had in the world,
her mother.
"She, she had a
sudden heart attack. We tired our
best but the attack was too sudden, I am afraid that she's helpless now... We
are truly sorry, there isn't much we could do..." The elder female doctor replied with
great pity for the young girl who stood with shock in front of
her.
Serena felt like
a heavy stone just hit her hard on the head, her mind whirled around
dizzily. She grabbed the wall for
support, fear she might lose her conscious and collapse right here. Serena wanted to see her dying mother,
to see her leave...
"Mother...Wake
up, wake up mother... Please don't leave me...I need you, I can't lose you mother..."
Serena cried
softly into her mother's cold hands. They're so cold. She rubbed them on her
warm cheek, desperate to take the lifeless coldness away with her body
temperature. Mrs. Murphy's blue
eyes were locked, few white bangs mixed with her original blond hair fell weakly
down her pale forehead. Serena
caressed her mother's face, feeling the lines and wrinkles under her very own
finger tips. She's old, she's
aging, now, she's leaving...
"Mother, open
your eyes... It's my birthday remember? Cake, candles, we haven't yet finish our
song yet... mother please, open your eyes...smile, tell me you're all
right...wake up mother, let's go home..."
Serena pleaded
helplessly, she felt as if the end of the world is coming. How will she survive to face those empty
walls of their littleapartment with her mother's bidding no longer ringing
beside her ears?
"Mother, please
don't go.... don't leave me alone. I am scared, I don't want to be alone... I am
only 18, how am I going to live on in the world without you? Don't leave me... Don't leave me and go
to father, I will be all alone, thinking about the two of you when it's my
birthday again...Please mother, I want nothing now, let's go home, open your
eyes...I know why are you going...it's all because of me...it's all my fault...
you worked too hard mommy...you're so tired, just because you wanted more money
for me. Mother, I don't want money,
I want you...I will get money for us in the future, I will buy everything in the
world for you, if you want. Promise
me, don't leave, wait for that day... Tell me, what can I do to get you back?? I
will do anything in the world... Mother, open your eyes, don't scare me, let's
go home..."
Serena felt her mother's hand moved a little weakly. She quickly looked up and wiped away her
falling tears. Mrs. Murphy forced
her eyes apart; she knew she was going to leave soon, but her daughter...
She loved her so
much, she didn't want her to be alone and helpless. The older woman gazed at the
crying girl in front of her eyes, her hands shakily wiped away Serena' falling
tear.
"Don't cry
Serena... I am not going to leave, I will be fine, I will only be sleeping. I am happy now my child, I will see your
father in a few moments, then we could watch you down here from heaven. Be happy for mama...I love you too much
to leave you Serena...Be strong, I believe in you. I will never be too far away from you
daughter. You can find me in your
dreams, deep in your heart, a place where you can reach into when you're scared
and lonely. Serena, promise me,
right now... Don't give up. Nothing
will ever stop you from going further and heading for success. Be strong, you can conquer anything in
life if your heart desires. Promise me, mama willbe counting on you. You're 18 now, an independent and mature
adult, I believe in you, take care of yourself for me. Don't cry, a big girl should be
strong... I know I leave you too
early...but your birthday, I haven't finished your song yet... Happy birthday to
you, happy birthday to you,happy birthday to Serena, happy birthday to-"
Mrs. Murphy sang
the little birthday rhythm which everyone in the world knows so well, she wiped
away Serena's tear out of her sky blue eyes, even though they keep on
falling... But before she could
finished the last word, her hand suddenly dropped weakly and slide out of
Serena's tear strained face softly.
Casting a last glance at Serena, her eyes closed up
tightly...
"Mother!!!!! Please don't go!!!!!!!!!!! Don't leave
me!!!! You love me, open you eyes..."
Serena screamed
from her heart and soul when she realized what had happened. She shook her mother's now stilled body
and buried her face into her mother's white cover. But above her blond head, Mrs. Murphy's
blue eyes were closed, their blueness will never again be able to look at Serena
with their motherly caring anymore.
They shut tightly under the cruel hands of death, never to open again to
see the crying Serena. She left,
like this, so quiet, forever...
Serena cried her
heart out that night. "Mother! Open your eyes!!! Please, let's go home, please... just go
home with me!!! Don't die on me
mother!!! I love you! I need you!!!"
Serena spun
around looking at the monitor screen that displayed the movement of her mother's
heart beat. Yet, that green line
had changed from a ragged one to a plain straight line...
Serena remembered
herself been pulled away but the kind nurse, they placed a white sheet over her
mother's pale face, shielding it from her own daughter's blurring vision. All the patients, doctors and nurses
present stared at the young girl with great pity, sharing her pain and grave in
deep silence...
Serena got up
from her mother's death bed, she ran as fast as she could out of the hospital,
blindly, into the dark cloak of Paris' night...
*****End of Flash
Back*****
Tears now rushed
madly down Serena's cheek, her heart pained by that piece of dark memory of her
18th birthday. From that day on,
Serena learned to take cared of herself and live without the guidance of her
loving mother. She sometimes felt
that there is no hope of living, yet she kept her words and never gave up.
But deep down her
heart, she knew she was never far away from her,she's always around herself, in
her soul, in her dream, to guide and leading her between right and wrong. Serena is now happy for her mother,
she's not alone in heaven, she's got her father, he would love her and take care
of her as he did 18 years ago. Her
mother is now surrounded by love and happiness, in a place ruled by gods, where
there is no war, no violence, but tranquility and harmony.
But the life
ahead for that 18 years old Serena wasn't easy, she went to university and
studied hard, in mind she vowed that she would never fail her mother, never to
let down those who offered her love and strength. Serena had struggled over her dreams,
with pain and bitterness, but overtime,she battled challenges with her mother's
word's in mind, "never to give up."
Now 5 years have
passed by, a 23 year old Serena Murphy replaced that once 18 year old heart
broken girl. She is now an
independent and mature woman, that plain school girl disappeared from Paris,
only the famous model Serena Murphy stood firm and cool.
The world today
is different from the one we lived from yesterday, everything around us is
changing, including us, ourselves.
Serena is now a well known model to everyone else, a successful woman in
life and a figure which graced the stage with ease and elegance. She worked and
climbed her way to the top, without the help from anyone, but her own bare
hands.
She deserved
respect, she deserved success.
Serena knew everyone envied her life, everyone was blinded over by the
word "success", none of them would see through her confident disguise, to that
bitter and dark paragraph of her childhood, that lonely and miserable figure
under her smile. Only if they could
see..
Serena stood up
while wiping away her falling tears with a white handkerchief. A bitter and
ironic smile spread across her tired and sad face. Who in the world would know that
their famous and worshipped woman now stood by her own balcony, crying, pained
over by the sadness in her
life? Who would noticed that the
lonely figure on the 23rd floor is actually a vulnerable little girl who needs
love and understanding most of all?
People, they're
enjoying themselves over the colorful world their are now in, dizzy over the
neon signs of streets, who is here to comfort and listen? People, are you all
blinded by the tide of wealth and artificial elegance, yet cast aside what is
called inner beauty?
Serena sighed
again, looking above her head, millions of shinning stars winked at her from the
sky. From far away, she's merely a
white dot contrasting with the dark night of Paris, a model's life under the
spotlight of stage...
Things are
changing, life is never perfect, including herself. she knew very well, that in front of
fate, she was not a lucky one, she needed to fight...
Now, she would go
and take out that re-heatable dinner she had placed in the microwave earlier,
fix herself something to drink, and finish her late supper while flipping across
some news channel through the TV screen.
After a little rest, she would clean up her now crowded apartment and
then go to bed to have at least a few hours of sleep before the coming sunshine
of dawn. Let the past stay as the
past for the future is much brighter ahead... The coming of dawn, another new
day ahead in the hands of destiny........
Neo-Queen Serenity's Crystal Tokyo was originally established on August 18th, 1998.
It is owned and operated by Neo-Queen Serenity
