The Geezers of Democracy

One of the most important principles of democracy is that no ideology is so popular that it should go unchallenged. Democracy isn't supposed to be like the Autobahn, it's supposed to be like the 401: slow, bumpy, and full of geezers set on keeping you from getting where you're going. Here, Opposition Parties are those geezers, around just to dig up the dirt on what the government's doing wrong. There they are, every night, on the news, trying to prove that the government is run by idiots. Of course we don't need much convincing, but if nobody's checking the government's basement for bodies then we might as well throw a big "L" on the flag and rename the place Liberaland.

So where's the opposition in Canada? Since the Liberals balanced the books the opposition has slowed the them down about as much as Keri Strugg trying to stop a train. The Liberals have stolen just enough policy from each of the other parties to keep them at bay. Look at the '97 Reform platform. Tax cuts, debt reduction, sounds familiar, doesn't it? What about the NDP platform? Increased spending, tax cuts for low-income earners--wait, they did that too. They hover in the middle so well that most Canadians give them the what-the-hell vote out of apathy. After all, it's not like the Liberals are gonna rock the boat.

And as if that weren't bad enough, Stockwell Day has essentially stolen the show from the government. He's the Leader of the Opposition. He supposed to be keeping an eye on the Liberals, but every time he stands up in the Commons Sheila Copps is calling Dan Akroyd on the cell for a quick one-liner. Turn on the news now, and all you see is Day making an idiot of himself.....again. In the Commons, at a press conference, at a charity dinner, the backdrop is always different, but it's always the same simpleton pretending he knows what the hell he's talking about. What's the government up to? Who's sleeping with who? Who's shooting up between votes? It's not newsworthy any more. Ottawa is supposed to be like Melrose Place, but thanks to Stockwell it's starting to look more like Road to Avonlea. The Liberals might as well advance to Go and collect another majority government.

Listen, Stock, you can destroy your party all you want, but with an opposition as convincing, and as funny, as a dirty limerick, you're doing more damage to the country than you can possibly imagine….and that's the government's job.