Jack: Hey I...I’m looking for—

Alison: Chandler! Oh my God! I’m...I’m so glad to see you!

[whispers to Jack] Just play along, ok? Please?

So I know that the other night, you know, was totally tight and you can’t get enough of me, but we really can’t be together 24/7. I mean, as much as we’d both like to be ya know? Oh! Jamal! I’d like you to meet Chandler. He’s the new man in my life.

Jamal: Chandler?

Alison: Yeah.

Jamal: Hey, nice to meet you.

Alison: Well he just can’t stand to be away from me even when he knows I have to work. Isn’t that right, Chandler? But don’t you worry, because as soon as I get done with my shift, you and I will have all evening together just you and me.

Jamal: Anyways, it was good seeing you again, bro.

Jack: Hey, what’s up man.

Alison: Again?

Jamal: Yeah, we kinda met last night. Ain’t that right, bro?

Jack: Yeah, right.

Jamal: Yeah, seems like your new man has his own career going. Kind of a dicey business, huh?

Jack: Hahaha. She always like this?

Jamal: Yeah, yeah, non-stop.

Alison: Whoa! Whoa! You totally look like Chandler. That’s...that’s really weird. So, uh, who was it you were looking for anyway?

Jack: Ya know what? Nevermind. This place is a little bit TOO weird.

Alison: Chandler! No wait! Chandler, wait!! Oh-ho-ho! You are just the man I want to see.

Jamal: Wait, he is?

Alison: Yeah. He’s the answer to our problem.

Alison: Chandler, it’s so good to see you again.

Jack: Look, I told you. My name is not Chandler. You got the wrong guy.

Alison: No, I got the perfect guy.

Jack: Look, I’m not interested.

Alison: Don’t be so sure.

Jamal: Ali, hold up. What are you up to?

Alison: Solving our problem with Nana.

Jamal: Oh look, I’m almost afraid to ask, but...alright...how?

Alison: Come on in, Chandler. You just make yourself nice and comfy. Little old Alison here will tell you exactly what you need to know. Will you please get Chandler something to drink?

Jack: Oh, come on! Would you stop calling me Chandler?!

Alison: Look, I have to. I need to get in the habit.

Jack: I’m outta here.

Alison: Wait, wait, wait! Stop! Jeez! God! Alright, I will only call you Chandler when it’s absolutely necessary. What is your name anyway?

Jack: That’s something you don’t need to know.

Alison: Oh, mysterious. Well, you kinda look like a Brad...Leonardo?

Jack: Leonardo?

Alison: Russell?

Jack: Jack. Okay? The name’s Jack.

Alison: Really? Ugh.

Jack: Yeah, you got a problem with that?

Alison: No, I mean, I like Chandler better, but –

Alison: I can totally pull this off, just as long as Chandler – Sorry Whoa!! – Jack!...doesn’t screw things up.

Jack: No sweat, cause JACK is history.

Alison: No wait! You can’t go, ok?

Jack: Watch me.

Alison: I’m just asking you to go out on a date with me and pretend you’re totally crazy about me! Is that so hard?!

Jack: Your girlfriend’s whacked, you know that?!

Jack: Ok, ya know I’m really not into the whole “watching” thing so I’m outta here.

Alison: Wait, wait, wait. You didn’t answer my question. So are you gonna help me or not?

Jack: Oh, I’m sorry. Ummm.....no.

Jack: I gotta change. If you want this to work, I gotta look the part.

Alison: Then we’ll stop by the mall.

Jack: You’re not gonna put me in some of these rich-boy, button-down things.

Alison: Ok, give me a LITTLE credit, please!

Jack: You’re a little bossy aren’t you?

Alison: No, I’m just spunky.

Alison: Ok, so –

Jack: Look, I’ll wait outside while you go smooth things over with –

Alison: No! You aren’t going anywhere!

Jack: Hey! Watch the nails!

Alison: Dude, you watch the attitude! Alright? God! Now, we are supposed to be a very happy, very sweet couple. Ok?

Jack: Ok.

Alison: So look happy!

Jack: This IS me happy.

Alison: Chandler! Ha! Nana! Chandler’s here! I was afraid something bad might have happened to you.

Jack: Oh, well, I’m sorry to keep you waiting, Muffin. [Jamal, spying on the scene mouths “Muffin??”] Mother and Father needed me at the country club. I hope you’ll accept my apologies, Ms. Barrington. I’ve been looking forward to us becoming better acquainted.

Amanda: Well then, let’s discuss that over dinner.

[Amanda walks away and Jack begins to follow, when Alison grabs him and pulls him back]

Alison: Wait! Uh, Muffin? Country club? Alright, pal. She’s old, not stupid.

Jack: I’ll tell ya. I owe it all to my little Alison here. Isn’t she cute? She just has a way of making a guy feel like...well, like he hung the moon. Mwah! [kisses her cheek] You’re so cute!

Alison [with fake smile]: Haha...thank you.

Amanda: I’m so happy you found my granddaughter. She needs someone to keep her in line.

Alison: Yes, and Chandler is JUST the person to do that, Nana.

Jamal: Hung the moon, huh? Hahaha. What’s up with that, dog?

Jack: What? The old lady bought it didn’t she?

Jamal: Yeah, but that kiss on the cheek was a little bit too much over the top, too. It wasn’t even necessary.

Alison: Alright, alright! It worked didn’t it? Ok, then. See! Now Nana won’t have me committed!

Alison: YOUR Jack, who’s actually OUR Jack, who’s MY Chandler, is Chris Ramsey’s brother?!

Livvie: Except I wish that the two of them could get along, because...I just like them both so much.

Alison: Because they’re both, ya know, both pretty hot.

Alison [to Livie as Jack walks into the Recovery Room]: Ok, so...incoming. Think and breathe, think and breathe. And now I gotta try and picture him not sopping wet and naked!!

Alison: Hey, Chandler! What’s going on!

Jamal: Jack, Jack, Jack.

Alison: Jack...we know. Don’t worry.

Alison: Take it easy? He's a vampire slayer, Jack.

Jack: Look, he's off duty.

Alison: What?

Rafe: Officially, anyway. I'm just here to visit my cousin.

Alison: Oh, right. Yeah. I'm sure that you traveled all this way from Dracula-land just to say hi.

Jack: Oh, ok, ok. Rafe is here to check things out.

Alison: Oh, I know of the perfect place.

Jack: Where? Where?

Alison: Ok, just listen. Ok, it's you two --

Jamal: Here we go.

Alison: Alone under the stars together on the Barrington yacht.

Jamal: You have a yacht?

Alison: Well, no, you know, I don't. But Nana does, and it's so beautiful. And I could make all the arrangements. I could totally set it up. And she's always complaining about, you know, nobody ever uses it and stuff, and I could totally set that up for you guys! Um -- if that's, you know, what you'd like to do. I don't want to, like, push the idea.

Alison: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Ok, so, I talked to Nana and all the details are set for the Barrington yacht.

Jack: Alison, maybe we should rethink this whole boat thing.

Alison: It's a yacht, Jack.

Jack: I mean, what if there's rough waters?

Alison: Well, Jack, I mean, it's big –

Alison: Hey. Ok, look, so I bought this tie for Jamal, but I think that it would look really fierce on you and I think maybe you should wear it tonight for good luck.

Jack: I can’t wear a tie.

Alison: Why?

Jack: I barely can even breathe right now.

Alison: Oh, Jack.

Jack: Oh, come on, Alison. Now you sound like some cheesy love song.

Alison: What, and you think that girls don't love cheesy love songs? I know what I’m talking about.

Alison: Sit down, Casanova. Ok?

Jack: What?

Alison: Ok, so you have to get ready first. Ok, get all dolled up or whatever it is that -

Jack: Right, right.

Alison: Guys do. Take your tie, ok?

Jack: Tie.

Alison: Because your bride awaits you.

Jack: Thanks.

[Alison laughs]

Alison: Go.

Jack: Let's see -- yeah, we can check. Got the ring.

Alison: Ok, so, honey, is there anything that you want to tell me?

Jack: Ahem. Look, Livvie, I -- oh, Boy, that's bad. Ok. Livvie Locke, you're -- ok, Livvie --

Alison: Oh, Jack, she knows her name.

Jack: Right. Livvie, what --

Alison: What?

Jack: I combed my hair. What are you looking at?

Alison: No, nothing. I’m just trying not to stare at your face. I'm, like, looking at your head. I’m sorry. I’m just trying not to distract you. Livvie will be better at this. Go again. I am so ready.

Alison: Don't let Livvie get to you, ok? When you're upset, you just need to talk things out.

Jack: Yeah.

Alison: Unless -- ahem -- you're Valerie, to which you should just zip it and go far, far, far, and far away.

Jack: Alison, they're just having a conversation.

Alison: Well, does he need to stand so close to him?

Jack: Hey --

Alison: What, is she deaf? I'm --

Jack: We think you're losing yourself in here.

Alison: Jamal, what is he talking about?

Jamal: Me and Jack are here to take you away, baby, that's it.

Jack: It's just for your own good.

Alison: It's for my own good? What -- oh, I see. Are you guys going to, like, force me to leave? Is that it?

Jamal and Jack: No, no, no --

Alison: Yeah, just try it. Over my dead body. You and what army?

Jamal: Because something is seriously wrong, Ali, if a place and a few things start to mean more than anything else in the whole world.

Jack: That's including your friends.

Alison: Well, Jack, you must have me mistaken for your crazy girlfriend who tried to burn the place down.

Jamal: If you're not going to walk out, we're going to --

Alison: Stop it!

Jamal: Take you out.

Alison: This is stupid!

Jack: Take the purse.

Alison: Jack!

Jack: Ali, it's only for your own good. It's going to be ok.

Jamal: We love you.

Alison: Jamal, don't!

Jack: All right. Whatever is in here or isn't, say "cheese."

Alison: What are you getting at?

Jack: Well, back to my first instinct. We are going to go up there and we're going to kick her and whoever she's with out on their butts.

Jack: Alison, everybody knows you didn't kill Kevin.

Alison: Yeah, not everybody.

Jack: Well, Livvie's an idiot.

**[ok, the next three entries aren't really Jack and Alison, but they're just some really funny parts that they had separately in Superstition]**

Jack: You know what? Hold on right there. You and Ali are one thing, me and Livvie are another. I mean, come on, she tried to kill me, let alone go behind my back with vampires and stupid college geeks and now whoever she has up in this cabin. You wanted to kick Rafe's butt? I wanted to kick my own butt for being a chump. But you know what? Never again. Nope -- I'm done, through. What? What's so funny? Did I say something funny? Come on.

Alison: Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. Don't even bother. Ok, don't worry about it. I know, I'm nuts. I am crazy. I see people -- I see dead people and they come out of paintings and i talk to them over lattes -- well, I do -- and now I'm in love with an angel. That's great. That's fine. You know, I should've -- I should've known that you would never believe me.

Jamal: So, Jack, what do you want to do tonight?

Jack: I don't know. What do you feel like doing?

Jamal: Oh, man, I don't know. What do you want to do?

Jack: Maybe we can go down to some club downtown or something.

Jamal: Yeah, yeah, we can do that tonight.

Jack: Or we can sit around here like a bunch of losers and try to figure out women, which might take the rest of our lives.

Jamal: Yep, yep, yep. Hey, but, seriously, you ok with everything now? I mean, you ready to move on?

Jack: Don't have much of a choice. My ex-girlfriend's not only cracked up, she's shacked up with some other guy.

Jamal: Yeah, well, mine -- she's in love with an imaginary friend.

Jack: Ok, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You're right. But you're never going to get through to Rafe if Livvie's all over him. You need to be alone.

Alison: Well, I know, but how?

Jack: I haven't got a clue. Oh, the barn. That's, like, a special place, isn't [Alison starts to cry] -- uh, sorry.

Alison: No, not the barn.

Jack: Ok, why not?

Alison: Because they got married there.

Jack: That's a terrible idea, bad idea. Uh -- um -- oh, no, that's a bad -- there's got to be someplace, you know? I mean, someplace that was special.

Jack: 99 -- let's go. One more, one more. Come on, rock. Ah, there you go. Good workout.

Alison: Thank you. Are you sure that we should even be out in this park frolicking about after the shadow man just attacked his last victim? Because I'm too tired to run.

Jack: Well, that is why you got to keep pumping those abs. Rumor is shadow man's going to need a sidekick.

Alison: Can you just see me? That's -- that's going to be my next career move. I'm going to be shadowette. Help me up.

Rafe: She's upset. She's pregnant. She's missing!

Jack: And she's playing you like some cheap guitar.

Alison: You guys --

Jack: Look, I know you lost your memory, Rafe, but what happened to that brain of yours, huh?

Alison: Jack, this is not helping.

Jack: So where do we start?

Rafe: Excuse me?

Jack: Did I stutter? Looking for Livvie.

Alison: Thanks. Ok, shadow man is out there, so i'll just stand here so that someone can attack me. Thanks. I don't think so. I'm coming, too.

Jack: Oh, I could not believe pizza shack would not deliver to a park bench. This is ridiculous, you got to be kidding me.

Alison: So here it is -- my very first legal drink.

Jack: Uh-huh. Bet you thought you'd be spending your 21st birthday somewhere a little more exciting than a park bench, huh?

Jack: It is pretty good. I was just thinking about the first time we met.

Alison: Are you talking about how I tried to make Jamal jealous with pretending that you were my boyfriend?

Jack: I don't know which was worse, that or posing as Chandler at dinner with your Nana.

Alison: Oh, I forgot about --

Jack: What were you trying to do to me?

Alison: I completely forgot about that. You must've thought I was some nut case.

Jack: Yeah. I thought you were the most whacked-out chick I've ever met.

Alison: Yeah, and now I'm just so put together.

Jack: You ok?

Alison: Sorry. Whoo, I'm such a party girl!

Jack: Hey, easy. Don't talk about my date like that. Will you apologize, please?

Alison: I'm sorry.

Jack: Thank you.

Jack: Now watch out! Here comes Alison Barrington on Madison avenue! Look out, Gisele! Whoo!

Alison: Gisele? I'm so impressed. I'm so impressed, Mr. Ramsey. Now get over here and help -- ok, did you hear that, world? Did you? No, because I didn't say it yet. Alison Barrington has now arrived. This is the new, improved Alison Barrington and I've achieved it at the ripe, old age of 21. I'm going to be the biggest supermodel this world has ever seen. And my good buddy here, Franco, is going to be the biggest photographer you've ever seen in your life. And we are going to take the world by storm! Pow!

Jack: That's right.

Alison: Pow! Pow!

Alison: You know, jeans, and this cute little red top looks really cute with that, and also these black pants. It's kind of a sexier look. And then I brought this little skirt, but I don't know. In the case of a motorcycle, that might not work. But I did bring this miniskirt and this super cute little bustier if you want to do something like that.

Jack: Well, I would say that you came prepared.

Alison: Yeah, I did. I came prepared pretty much for anything. And I even brought underneath stuff just in case. I don't know if you want to do something like that with the jacket or something.

Jack: Ooh. That's nice. That's really nice. Right there, right there. Hold it right there. Nice.

Alison: "Nice"? Wait, jack, I'm sort of playing for more, like, you know, sexy or smoldering or sizzling or something.

Jack: All right, well, why don't you give me your sexy, smoldering, sizzling smile like that? Oh, man! Whoo! Ali, I've never seen this side of you.

Alison: Oh, yeah? Well, how about -- how about this side? Take the picture!

Jack: No, Alison, you're coming with me.

Alison: No, I'm right in the middle of a photo shoot! I'm doing my big debut!

Jack: You want to come with me, or I'm going to call an ambulance.

Alison: An ambulance?

Jack: An ambulance. Come on.

Alison: Jack, no.

Jack: Let's go. No arguing.

Alison: I'm fine.

Jack: We'll continue this later.

Alison: But I need to change.

Jack: Ok, come on.

Alison: I'm not sick.

Jack: I know.

Alison: I swear.

Jack: I know.

Alison: I'm really --

Jack: I know, I know.

Jack: Guaranteed to blow out every aggression, transgression, obsession, and depression right here.

Alison: Where did you learn how to talk like that?

Jack: I worked a few odd jobs in my day. Now, little lady, you ready?

Alison: Fine, carny boy. You win. I'll do it, but I don't really know what to do.

Alison: Oh, my god! You did it!

Jack: Ha-ha! How about that?

Alison: Oh, good for you!

Jack: Yeah.

Alison: Who were you thinking about when you did that, hmm?

Jack: No one really important. Only the girl of my dreams, which is now the girl of my nightmares. But, hey, your turn. Come on.

Jack: Let's go.

Alison: Ok. If I throw my back out, you get the chiropractor bill. I'm going to send this bell to --

[Bell clangs]

Jack: Whoo!

Alison: Oh! I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it better than you!

Jack: Hey. There you go. Good job.

Alison: Oh, I did it! I did it! Oh, good for me! Oh, good for me! Good for me!

Alison: Can you win me a turtle? No. I want a unicorn.

Jack: Oh, ok. Yeah, I know I can.

Alison: I think you're a lot of talk.

Jack: Barrington, you just watch them fly.

Alison: I really like this one. It's very nice. [Jack throws the huge stuffed bear at her] Oww -- Jack!

[Jack laughs]

Alison: Well, don't just stand there. Help me up.

Jack: Well, just hold on one second. Nothing like a little bear loving. Oh!

Jack: Look, Alison, I'm just trying to be your friend.

Alison: Are you? Because I sort of feel like you're trying to be my boyfriend -- my jealous boyfriend.

Alison: I just don't want -- you know, I don't want anything, like, weird in my life.

Jack: Oh, because I'm a weird kind of a --

Alison: Right, no. But you know what I mean --

Jack: Ok, so Rafe just John Wayned this guy and he took off?

Alison: Pretty much.

Jack: Why does this stuff keep happening to us?

Jamal: You know what? I have no idea, bro.

Alison: I keep thinking that maybe one of these days our lives will go back to normal, but, you know, it's just me.

Alison: Hi.

Jack: Hey.

Alison: Um -- what are you doing?

Jack: I'm looking for your shadow. Where's Rafe?

Alison: You know, you've been a real pain in my butt lately.

Jack: Me?

Alison: Yeah, you!

Jack: Hello. Rafe and Livvie are married, Alison! They're having a baby!

Alison: I know that.

Jack: And you keep banging your head into the same stupid wall, trying to think it's going to change, and it's not. The only thing it's going to do, it is just going to break your heart. What else do I have to say? What else do I have to do to get you to stop?

Alison: Well, it's really no big deal. I mean, Livvie just sort of came in and sat on his lap like a little, small dog, going on and on, oh, about their baby together and how "we should all just be friends," talking to me like we were sisters at girl scout camp.

Jack: And I'm sure golden boy just sat there clueless, huh?

Alison: It's not really his fault.

Jack: Oh, yeah, forgot. He has get-out-of-memory-free card.

Alison: Ok, well, what about -- what about the big, fat, red one, the red sign I see all the time in big, white letters -- the one that says, "s-t-o-p, Alison, s-t-o-p"? "Brake, don't go that way, take a left." But no. No, no, no. I go straight for it. Instead, I don't take a left, I go straight, and i think, "you know, Alison, maybe you should just drive yourself crazy and make everyone else around you miserable." I mean, is -- is that wrong? I mean, are you saying that that's not what the sign is saying? Am i reading you wrong?

Jack: Look, Alison, there -- there are all kinds of signs, ok? "Danger ahead," "detour," uh --

Alison: "Do not merge."

Jack: "Don't pass."

Alison: "Don't even think about passing."

Jack: "Rough, rough road."

Alison: "Slow down."

Jack: "Livvie's a fruit loop."

Alison: I can see it on the highway in red, orange, and yellow flashing lights -- "Livvie's a fruit loop."

Jack: Those lights won't be half as bright as that smile. It's good to see it again. Haven't seen it in a while.

Alison: Well, I haven't felt super-duper happy enough to flash it.

Alison: One minute I'm feeling like my pet goldfish has bellied-up, and then the next minute you're making me laugh.

Jack: Yeah. Well, you're just pretty weak. You're not tough.

Alison: I'm weak?

Jack: Yeah, and you have a cheesy sense of humor. It's bad.

Alison: Cheesy? I do not.

Jack: You got to work on it. Yeah, you do.

Alison: My sense of humor is not --

Jack: Whoo!

Alison: I'll take you down.

Alison: And if our lives couldn't get any worse, we have to worry about now the Avatar and him putting roots down here in Port Charles. So we might not only run into Rafe, but we might run into the Avatar at parties, too. Oh, I'm sorry -- we haven't even been invited to any parties lately. That's my bad.

Jack: You'd think an ex-jailbird and ex-vampire would be on everybody's party list.

Alison: You know, Lucy is always talking about taking new directions. Maybe we should do that. She's always talking about signs coming from the universe and everything, and right now i would just absolutely love it if one would come straight down from the sky and hit me right in the head. Maybe a neon one. That'd be great.

Alison: Why shouldn't I kiss Jack? I mean, really, why shouldn't I? We've been friends forever. And we practically died for one another. Why shouldn't I give it a chance? I'll tell you why, Alison -- it's because you can't stop thinking about Rafe, even thought that is a very hopeless situation. It'd really be easy if I could just talk to maybe my best friend right now. However, my best friend is Jack, so that doesn't really work.

Alison: What is -- well, who was that?

Jack: That was the universe.

Alison: Oh!

Jack: I think our luck might have changed.

Alison: Good! No, really. All right, who was it?

Jack: Alison, they didn't just like the pictures, they liked the girl in them. They want you to be my model.

Alison: Me? No. No. Jack, I don't -- I'm not a model. I don't even know what I'm doing. I just sat there.

Jack: Ok, did I tell you that it shoots in Bermuda?

Alison: Bermuda?

Jack: Bermuda.

Alison: Oh, my god. I'm your girl. It's me. I really need it. I -- it's me!

Alison: Ok, great. Thanks. That was Mary. She wanted me to pick up an extra shift at the recovery room, but I told her that I couldn't because I was going to go off to be this big, fat supermodel, and my best friend, Jack Ramsey, was about to take pictures of me in Bermuda! We're going to Bermuda! This is going to be so fun! We're going to Bermuda!

Jamal: Hey, Jack, Jack, where you at, dude?

Jack: Well, I'm not far. I -- I just kind of needed to get away.

Jamal: He just needed to get away, that's all, ok? He's fine, he's fine.

Alison: He what? He needed to get away?

Jamal: Yeah, he's –

[Alison grabs the phone away from Jamal’s ear]

Alison: You needed to get away!? Jack Ramsey, we have been looking all over for you. We were scared to death that maybe something had happened to you.

Alison: She -- um -- she's still around, but Rafe is going to get their marriage annulled. And, um, there's one more thing i want to tell you. We're getting married.

Jack: Married? Wow.

Alison: I was wondering if you would be my maid of -- my man of honor.

Jack: Your -- your man of honor? Oh, come on, alison. Is there such a thing?

Alison: There is now. [Woman laughs] What was that?

Jack: What?

Alison: Don't "what?" me. You have some girl there, don't you? You're shacking up with some girl!

Jack and Jamal: Hear ye! Hear ye! The bridesmaids are here!

Alison: Already?

Jamal: At your service.

Alison: What time is it?

Jack: What's going on here? The bride's not supposed to see the groom.

(Jack and Jamal walk in on Elizabeth and Alison talking)

Jamal: Anything else for the bridesmen?

Jack: Hey, hey, the brides--

Jamal: Sorry about that. We'll come back.

Elizabeth: No, no, no, it's ok, it's ok. I'm going to go on ahead to the church, all right?

Alison: Ok.

Elizabeth: Oh, I'll see you there, baby.

Alison: Ok.

Elizabeth: Ok.

Alison: Ok.

Elizabeth: And you guys get her to the church safe and sound, you hear me?

Jack: Yes, ma'am.

Elizabeth: It's a big responsibility.

Jamal: Yes, sir-- Yes, ma'am.

Jack: Will do. Speaking of that, I've never been a bridesman before, so, Miss Barrington, Miss-

Jamal: So what do we do, shoot some hoops, order you pizza, golf? I don't know.

Jack: Basketball, box?

Alison: Yeah. No, most of the time, bridesmaids actually help the bride get ready. So --

Jamal and Jack: Oh. (they reach into her make-up case and start pulling things out)

Jack: Sure. Yeah, yeah, we can do that.

Jamal: No problem.

Alison: Yeah, but since we're going to be bypassing that tradition this year --

Jack: Oh, no, no, no, no.

Alison: On this occasion --

Jack: We're going to do this 100%.

Jamal: Yeah, yeah, 100%.

Jack: Yeah, yeah.

Jamal: Seriously.

Alison: No.

Jamal: Seriously, no, we can do this.

Alison: What do you think you're going to do with that?

Jack: Well, I might do your hair with this. (he picks up an eyelash curler)

Jamal: What is that?

Jack: I don't know, but --

Jamal: Hey, look, I got this lipstick, so --

Jack: Oh, I've got the best new hairstyle.

Alison: No. No.

Jamal: Oh, yeah, come on. (They start to chase Alison around the living room)

Alison: No, I'm serious!

Jack: You get the lipstick on --

Alison: You guys, don't! You're going to get me dirty!

Jack: Will you come over here, young lady? I am going to fix your hair!

Alison: Don't! (Jack and Jamal pin her down on the couch)

Jamal: Hold her, hold her, hold her. Ah!

Alison: Jamal, stop it! Don't! You guys! You're going to get me dirty.

Jack: Hey, we're just trying to be good bridesmen, that's all. Just good bridesmen.

Alison: I love hanging out with you guys.

Jack: Yeah, well, are you still going to hang out with us when you're a married old lady?

Jamal: (looks at Jack and mouths: "Old"?)

Alison: You can make me over anytime you want.

Jamal: This is it. Sure this is what you want to do?

Alison: I am absolutely positive.

Jamal: Well, all righty.

Jack: Are you ready?

Alison: Yeah.

Jack: Let's go to the chapel. Come on.

Alison: So?

Elizabeth: Honey, you are breathtaking.

Jack: Unbelievable.

Jamal: I got to say that Rafe is very, very, very, very, very lucky.

Alison: Now, don't, because you're going to make me cry and I'll be mad at you because I'm going to ruin my mascara.

Jack: Ok, ok. We'll see you out front.

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