Mark grunted, bending at the knees and bracing himself as he pitched a
load of manure into the trench. "I smell like... Crap.." He muttered, scraping
and pushing another pile into the gutter.
"Stop bitching Greene, you sound like a woman.." Benton muttered angrily from the hayloft as he tossed down a clean bale of straw for the animals' stalls.
Carol pitched a forkful of manure at Benton's head. "Oh.. Is that so!?" She growled with mock-anger, grinning as the wet fertilizer smacked against the doctor's overalls.
Benton stared at the large brown stain on the bib of his overalls and peered down the hatch at Carol who leaned on her pitchfork and grinned. "You smell so sweet Peter..."
Peter climbed down from the loft and stared her down, his gloved hands clenched around the twine of the bale, that he held against himself, banging it against his knees.
"You know.. You're going to have to pay for that.." Benton replied, his jaw clenched. He stooped and cupped a handful of manure into his gloved hand before flinging it at the startled nurse.
Carol ducked, toppling backward into the trench, landing up to her armpits in warm manure. She grunted in disgust as she picked up her arms from the filth and glared at Peter. "Doug!? Help me up..."
Doug shook his head, backing away from his wife. "I'm not getting into this.. You can fight your own battles.. You started this hon'..." He grinned, chuckling nervously as Carol heaved a chunk of manure at him, it landing with a warm squish at his feet.
"DOUG!!!!!!!??? Help me up!!!" Carol whined struggling in the warm muck.
"Nooooooope.. Sorry.. You're on your own." Doug grinned, throwing his hands up in the air, in defeat as he left the barn.
The cows mooed softly and the horses' whinnied in response. It was time for them to let out to pasture, what was with these silly strangers and their fascination with their poo??
Elizabeth exited the chicken coop, slamming it shut with her shoulder, her arms loaded with cartons of fresh eggs. She walked to the barn and set the cartons by the door as it was flung open and out ran Doug Ross being chased by a very smelly and very filthy Carol Hathaway.
"GET BACK HERE DOUG ROSS!! I WANT TO GIVE YOU A *GREAT BIG KISS*!!!!" Carol yelled before she launched herself across the yard and tackled her husband at the knees, knocking him forward, splayed on the grass.
Doug laughed in sharp gasps as he tried to regain the wind that had been knocked out when he'd fallen.
"C-carol.." He chuckled painfully as his manure covered wife climbed ontop of him and kissed him. Doug writhed under her touch and moaned. "C-carol.. Get off.. You smell!!!" His eyes watered and his body tingled from the sheer putrid stench.
Dave piled the last sandwich in the cooler and firmly placed the lid. "So that's good Chief? I could be out there helping you know, instead of.." He winced, rubbing the bump on his head and slumping into a chair at the kitchen table.
"You're not going anywhere Malucci..." Weaver said sternly. Walking to a kitchen drawer, she pulled out a penlight and checked his pupils.. "I think you should get some rest, Dave.. That's an order.."
He nodded staring at the kitchen floor where Carter lay spread out and limp. Dave poked him with his toe and Carter grunted in response.
"Drinkin' baaad Dave.. Please.. Tell that Marachi band to practice someplace else.. Don't like them in my head.." Carter moaned.
Kerry tsked under her breath and poked the hungover resident with her cane. "Serves you right Carter.. Getting us kicked off the plane.. Dirty farmers and their pet pigs.. Serves you right.."
Dave chuckled and let Kerry lead him upstairs.
As he curled up on the intricately sewn quilt, wrapped his hands around the pillow and drifted off, there was a loud crash downstairs.
***
"Doug!! AUGH! DOUG! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!" Carol squealed, kicking her legs frantically, squirming in his embrace.
"You smell.. I'm giving you a bath.." Doug replied, marching through the open door that Carol had kicked open during the struggle.
"DOUG!! PUT ME DOWN!!!!!!!!" Carol ordered, laughter turning into rapid hiccups. "Doug! P-please!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He slowly deposited her into the large old-fashioned cast-iron tub that had been left in the closed-in porch. His jolly grin, turned to one of menacingly evil as he switched on the hose.
"DOUG!! THAT'S *COLD*!!!" Carol squealed as he hosed her down. "Doug... P-please stop!"
"Stop?? Why??? You flung poo at Benton!! I mean.. How stupid is that??!! I'm not saying it's not the dream of every doctor at County.. but you threw manure at Peter! How childish is that!?" Doug sputtered in disbelief, trying to hide the huge grin on his face.
Carol nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry.. You're right. It was childish.." She stared at her hands and the murky water that surrounded her, the hose that fed cold clean water into the bath. With a shivering, trembling hand, reddened from the cold, she picked it up and aimed it at Doug who grunted in surprise.. "But not as childish as this!!!!!!!!"
Kerry struggled with the cooler of sandwiches as Dave lay asleep upstairs and Carter lay on the floor unconcious in the recovery position.
She used her back to open the door and stumbled backward and into the
jet spray of ice cold water. "Augh!" The sandwiches tumbled from her hands
and onto the concrete floor, soon as wet and soggy as Kerry was.. But not
nearly as deadly.....
********