"The Sweeter Things in Life."
****
"Malucci... What's that in your pocket?" Carol said suspicious, the candy bar sized bulge moving in his jeans as he stumbled backwards.
"My pocket? Nothing.." Dave said nervously, the two women up off the couch now and backing him into a corner. "I... I swear.. There's nothing in my pockets.."
The wounded animalistic screams of a male being stripped and revoked of his Eatmore bar resonated over the flat farm lands of the Croatian landscape. Dave trembled, huddled in a corner, his hands over his head as he eyed them. "I.. I don't have anything else.." He stammered almost tearfully, his clothes thrown in a corner and thoroughly searched. That wasn't the only thing that had been thoroughly examined for any contraband food items.
Kerry nodded, removing the lubricated rubber glove and putting it in the trash. "I was just saying.. I wouldn't have put it past you to hide M&Ms up there. I had to check Malucci.."
Carol smiled in agreement, "I know it wasn't pleasant, Dave. But don't you feel better now that you have no secrets?"
Dave winced uncomfortably, his buttocks clenching and unclenching almost spasmodically. He felt like somebody had driven a Volkswagen bus up his ass. Getting anally probed over a little bit of food. "No." He replied glumly. He should have thought twice before pissing off a bunch of medical professionals.
Kerry paced the room wildly, walking to and fro and contemplating giving the man an impromptu high-colonic to see if the guy had any jube-jubes.
***
As the screams had died down to pitiful whimpering, Peter crawled off the bed and wandered downstairs. "What's going on down here? It sounds like you're beating an anim-" He stopped at the foot of the stairs and saw naked Dave huddled in the corner. "What in the hell?"
"He was hiding food on us, Peter.." Kerry said, her eyes crazed as she crutched to a chair and glared at Malucci.
Peter looked at the baggie of candy in Kerry's hand. It looked like it had been... Noo.. It.. eww.. "Kerry? Uhhmmm! You stripped and did an exploratory rectal on Malucci for a candy bar?" The woman was seriously deranged.
"They have chewy nougat centres!" Kerry said angrily, thrusting the bag in Peter's face.
"The bastard!" Peter glared at Dave, grabbing the tube of KY and a rubber glove off the table. "I want to see if he has any Tootsie Rolls. Bend over Malucci!"
Malucci burst into tears. "Even the beef-jerky guy on Survivor wasn't treated like a prison in-mate.. Come on g-guys.." He blubbered as the three of them closed in. "I honestly don't have any-thiiiiiing else!" Dave yelped as a freshly gloved hand went in for the kill.
"That's what you said last time!" Carol growled, holding him firmly in the jackknife position, her arms pinning his legs to the floor, with Kerry placing her weight firmly on his back, and pinning his arms down so his ass stuck up in the air. Watching him struggle, she sighed, she sure hoped they got home with some groceries soon, because this was just getting weird.
***
"Yes, Dr.Carter. You have a mild concussion, a broken wrist and that laceration is going to need stitches." Dr. Pavic replied, stripping off his gloves and tossing them in the bin. "You were flagging down a car to have breakfast?" He asked confused, standing up from the stool he'd been seated on while examining the Attending physician.
"Yeah.. We didn't have any food back at the farm.. I was hungry." Carter stammered, holding the gauze pack over his forehead.
"Yeah well, you're lucky the old man wasn't going so fast. I'm going to go check on your friend. Another doctor will do your stitches for you, he'll be with you in a moment." Dan Pavic walked into the adjoining exam room, Abby sitting on the gurney, her legs swinging back and forth as she attempted to decipher the Croatian words on the charts and posters that were stuck around the room.
"It's about time you showed up." She grunted impatiently, as she glanced at her watch. Abby sighed, drumming her index finger on the glass casing and shaking her wrist. "Fucking thing's broken.." She muttered angrily before turning from the doctor and yelling towards exam two. "Thanks alot Carter!"
"He saved your life, Dr.Kovac." Pavic said kindly, handing her a gown. "Put this on please, I'll be back in a moment."
Abby cocked a brow, "Wait, my name's not-" her lips parted as she was about to finish her sentence, but the man had already left. "Kovac."
Nikola stood in the door. "I know Luka would like it to be, Abby." He said gruffly. It had surprised him at first. Seeing the woman at the grocery store, those months ago. Kunas and coins falling from her hands as she'd stumbled from the market with her hands full of bags. His heart had swelled and boiled with rage when he'd found out that his slime of a son in law had been dating this woman for so many years now. It was about time they got married, Nik figured.
"You told them that I..." Abby stared at him. "Why? Why would you do that?" What sort of ulterior motive could the man have? The fact that he didn't want his son in law fucking out of wedlock? That he didn't want the city to know that Luka was only dating her and disgracing him by having premarital sex with another woman? What was his angle?
"Because, you're good for him. He has to move on with his life. His life isn't here in Zagreb, it's in Chicago with you." He said tiredly, the woman was entirely too paranoid for her own good. "He should have married you years ago."
"Nikola..." Abby said dumbfounded, the gown clutched in her hands. "I.." Her mouth flapped open, her bottom jaw dangling. "I.."
"Close your mouth, you'll catch flies." Nikola eyed the doctor pacing outside and pointed back at the gown. "Better put that on, Doctor's getting impatient." He muttered, walking from the room and shutting the door.
Abby got off the gurney, shedding her clothing, her legs coming up in scratches and bruises, It looked like she was okay. Just a little bumped around. Maybe Carter DID save her life.
"Hey.... Lockfart.. Nice arse!" Carter snickered, waving from the doorway that connected the two rooms. He sat on the bed in the exam two, grinning at her, admiring her ass, as Abby peeked at him upside down from in between her legs and glared angrily.
"Carter, you're a pig.." Abby growled, slamming the door, and forcibly shoving on the gown, the sleeves pushed up and the back gaping open.
"You're ready now, Dr.Kovac?" Pavic entered the room, closing the door behind him as Abby hopped back up on the gurney.
****
Kerry sat beside the weeping Dave, holding his naked body in his arms as she rocked him, "I'm sorry honey.. We're all just a little starved around here.. I didn't mean to hurt you.." She said softly, planting a loving kiss in his tousled dark hair that now creeped over his shoulders in a shagged unkempt 'do.
"Y-you.. violated me for candy.." He whimpered, snuggling into her arms, too weak to move. Peter had explored him every which way from Sunday. Dave had a sneaking suspicion the man still held grudges from years ago and found this afternoon the perfect time for revenge, he'd done everything except grab his crotch and tell him to turn his head and cough.
"Aww.. Sweetie.." Kerry said comfortingly. "I'm so sorry.. We didn't mean to get that crazy on you.. It's just when Carol saw that candy bar.."
"I.. I know.. Rabid females, chocolate, PMS.. Never withhold candy from females.. I.. I know that now." Dave said weakly, trembling as he played with a length of hair on his legs, twirling it around in his fingers absently.
******
"Have you had a physical lately, Dr.Kovac?" Abby shook her head, staring at the ceiling as she lay back on the examining table.
"Nope.. It's probably been about a year.. I gotta make an appointment with gyno when I get back," she said absently.
"You have some regional midline tenderness.. It's probably nothing, but I'd like to order a pelvic exam. I can do it now, if you like." He offered. "If you have the time.." He glanced over at the exam room next door, to see the other doctor reduce the fracture and start to set it.
Abby looked at him. A gyno exam in a strange country.. With a male doctor.. Life seemed strange. She smelled like manure and she was getting a pelvic. "Can I take a shower first?" She asked almost nervously.
"Yes, certainly." He said kindly, directing her to the showers and helping her disrobe.
A few minutes later, she reemerged from the showers and sat on the table, the stirrups pulled out as the doctor prepped the room. "You know the procedure. We'll draw some blood, do some routine tests..." A young nurse entered the room, smiling at Abby as she walked to the table and started setting up the instruments. "Abby, this is Reina.. She's the supervising nurse and will be watching the procedure today. So if you'll lay back and extend your arm, she can take some blood and I'll begin the exam.
Abby nodded staring up at the ceiling again as her legs were placed in the stirrups and the muzak piped into the room addled her brain.
****
"Is she okay?" Carter said worriedly, trying to peek into Abby's exam room, but the blinds had been shut, and the doctor conveniently stood in his view through the window in the door.
"I'm sure she's fine Dr.Carter. She only had a few bumps and scratches from what I could see. You took most of the hit from the car." He finished casting the arm, smoothing out the plaster and started wrapping it in green fibreglass.
***
"Dave.. I'm sorry.. Please talk to me." Kerry murmured, a kind hand brushing the hair from his tear streaked face. "Honey.. Please.. It's not like you to be so quiet."
"Yeah. Well it's not like you guys to forcibly grab me and search me for food.." Dave said wounded, now clothed in a long t-shirt and baggy jeans and sitting on the couch, facing away from her. "You guys were wrong. Y-you hurt me.." He whimpered almost tearfully, the shaking returning.
Kerry sighed, climbing onto the couch with him, sitting at his feet. "Dave.. I told you I was sorry. We had no right at all to do what we did." She grasped his hands in hers and pulled him towards her into her arms again. "Please, sweetie.. Don't be mad at me.." Enveloping the trembling man in her arms, she stroked his head fondly, till he fell asleep in her arms.
Peter stomped through the room again, on a mission of finding food that hadn't been up Dave's ass. So far he hadn't any luck. "Peter.." Kerry said in an exasperated tone, throwing her keys at his head. "Take the station wagon.. Go get some fucking groceries will you!?" She hissed, rocking her Dave slowly in her arms.
"Ohhhh Kerry.. Don't act so innocent, Carol said you were the first one to pin the little bastard down and shove your hand up his ass.. Not me." Peter snarled, grabbing the keys in mid-air.
"Yeah! But at least I'm sorry about it!" Kerry called after him as the surgeon stomped out of the house and could be heard squealing out of the drive way. She was sorry about it.. It had been an extreme moment of weakness. Something of such an extreme violation that she wasn't sure Dave would ever fully trust her again. Even if there WASN'T nougat filled candybars near by.
******
"Abby.. Your labs have come back.. Perhaps you'd like your husband in here with you, do you want Reina to fetch him?" Pavic said kindly,
Abby watched him fearfully wondering if she was reading him correctly. Maybe he was being kind because he was a nice guy.. OR maybe she had cancer.. Abby shuddered, nodding her head. "Yes please.."
Soon Luka sat on the bed with Abby, a comforting arm around her as he pulled her close. "It will be okay honey.. Everything will be fine." He said soothingly.
"Doctors Kovac.." Pavic smiled, grasping Luka's hand and shaking it vigorously. "You're pregnant."
"WHAT!?" Luka's eyes widened and he passed out cold on the floor.
"Is.. Is he okay?" Pavic said worriedly and Abby nodded, shrugging.
"Yeah.. he's fine.. It's a guy thing I guess eh?? He got excited about being a Dad so all the blood rushed to his groin. He'll be okay soon." Abby said with a smile, her hands over her belly, stroking it. She was going to be a mama.. She was killing 2 birds with one stone. She was getting married AND she was going to be a Dr. Mama Kovac.. With a deep sigh of relief, she lay back on the gurney and hummed happily to herself. Life was good.