****
******
Luka stormed down the porch steps, across the lawn, his hands clenched in anger. "I'll kill him.. Hell.. I'll kill them both.. Abby being unfaithful to me! After all I did for her! After all this time, all these years.. I'll-"
"LUKA!" Doug stumbled breathlessly out the front entryway. Crashing down onto his knees as he tripped through the screen door, tearing it away with a sickly ripping noise. "L-luka! Wait!"
The European doctor turned roughly, glaring at the paediatrician. "Go away, Ross.. If I go with you. I'm going to-"
"I'm going to prevent you from doing something you'll regret, Kovac.." Doug panted, scrambling through the gaping tear in the screen. "I'm going to stop you from hurting Carter or Lockhart.."
Luka stood tiredly, watching him as the man righted himself and stumbled to his side. "Ross.. If you come with me.. I'll end up killing you. You know that, don't you?" He replied, amused.
"Yeah.. That's right.. I'll stop you," Doug grinned, punching the man playfully on the shoulder. "Or.. Or at least slow you down. I'm not that easy to catch.." The man laughed, ducking and weaving. "Float like a hummingbird, sting like a b-"
Reeling from the first punch, Doug stumbled, holding his mouth and looking at Luka in shock.. "Y-"
Luka's second punch glanced off the man's jaw as Doug ducked, "Stop it! I get it.. I'm not a bee or a humming bird and I fall like a stone. Come on.. Let's go find Carter and Abby! Okay?!"
Luka dropped his hands at his sides and shrugged. "Fine.. Have it your way.. *That* was for punching me at the Diner.. This, however-" He said disinterested as his hand came up abruptly and smacked Doug in the back of the head. Chuckling, he walked to the truck and got in. "Is just for fun.. You comin' Ross?"
"Hey! You hit me!" Doug whined, following Luka to the Ford and getting in the passenger side.
"Shut up and sit there.. Don't move, don't talk.. Just shut up. Shut up." Luka barked, his hands shaking as he started up the vehicle.
************
"G-god.. What did I do.. Oh.. God.." Nik trembled, inching towards the front of the car.
"YOU STUPID BASTARD! WHY DID YOU PUSH ME INTO THE DITCH!!?" Abby screamed angrily as she emerged from the muck and reeds of the drainage ditch. "Carter.. You idiot!" Wiping the mud from her hair, and parting the filthy strands, she looked around for her friend. "Carter?" Her blurred gaze drifted from the oily pool of water she stood in, to the growing pool of blood on the dusty road side. "CARTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
************* "Have you ever noticed how Tom's butt cheeks clench and release every time that flight teacher is around.." Carol said absently. "I mean.. Not that I'm staring at his butt in every scene.."
Kerry chuckled. "Well.. Even if you aren't I am.. Especially that way he smiles.. Every time they go in for a kiss.. It's helpful that we have a slow-motion button.. Oohhhh here we go again.. Get it ready.. Heyy look! It's Val Kilmer.. I always liked him in that movie biography of the New Kids on the Block.. He always reminded me of a 40 year-old Donnie Wahlberg.. Don't you think?"
Carol sighed. "I'm not going through this again with you, Kerry.. I still think Corey Feldman could have done a good job."
"Corey Feldman!? I highly doubt it.. His face isn't full enough.. He wasn't old enough.. I think he looks ridiculous with a beard.. He was a decent Joey McIntyre.. I didn't like his portrayal of Joe's rapid decent into alcoholism, barbiturates and addiction to male prostitutes, though.. It didn't seem real to me.." Kerry rebutted shaking her head and watching Dave grow increasingly queasy.
Carol scoffed. "Real? You wanted to see Corey take one in the ass for the team or something?? John Turturro as Jon Knight, was.." She paused. "Interesting.. I've never seen Jon's plight with his cross dressing, taken so... seriously.. It was method acting taken to a new height. I mean.. He walked around the streets of Boston in a dress for six months.."
"I don't think it comes close to the lengths that Joaquin Phoenix and Christian Slater went to portraying the.." Kerry sighed. "I guess you could say ‘close' relationship.. Between Danny and Jordan.. Those guys went at it like wild animals on-screen.. You could really feel the sexual tension.. The pain.. The sorrow.. Especially when Jordan was stabbed by the crazed fan with a vegetable peeler in the middle of the Neiman Marcus.. I mean.. Jeez.. When they say it's a hanging offense to cut in line.. They aren't kidding. He did a brilliant death scene.. That last line. ‘I hope you have a funky, funky Christmas.. You bastard!' It was brilliant.. He delivered it perfectly.."
"Okay.. Enough of Tom and the New Kids saga... I'm going to get a snack.. You guys want anything?" Dave grumbled, getting off the couch.
As Dave strode into the kitchen, digging through the fridge and wondering why nobody went out for groceries in the past two weeks, he noticed that the kitchen was strangely empty.
Grabbing an apple, he strode back into the living room, munching on the macintosh and looking warily up at the ceiling, which had started to reverberate with the creaking and moaning coming from upstairs. Dave shuddered. At least he knew where SOME people were. Yuck..
********
"Elizabeth... I...I.." Mark panted, straddling his naked wife. "You sooo perty.." He drawled, his bony hands cupping her smooth white breasts, each mound of perfect flesh caught in each smooth palm. Ducking his head to her neck, he peppered it with warm lingering kisses; his lips tugging at the taut flesh, and leaving wet pink trails of love.
"Mark.. Love.. I.. I don't want you to give me a hickey.. You aren't giving me a hickey are you? I-I don't want you to Ahhhhooohh!" Elizabeth protested, her head thrown back, the tangled red curls cascading down her back as it arched, and Mark thrusted again. Each moan of ecstasy was met with the rhythmic thump of her striking the headboard. "Ohhh.. Lorrrrrrd!!!"
********
"Oh lord.. Won't you buy me.. A Mercedes Benz.. My friends all drive porches.. I must make amends.. Work hard all my life, no help from my friends.. Oh lord, won't you buy me.. A Mercedes Benz.." Doug wailed, his hands drumming on the dashboard. "I love Joni Mitchell. Don't you Luka?!"
The Croatian glared at him, turning off the radio as the squealed down the road. "It's not Joni Mitchell.. It's Janis Joplin! Joplin, damn you!" With an angered twist of the radio dial it was met with squealing and static till Luka's 80s station came in clear.
"Out where the river broke The bloodwood and the desert oak Holden wrecks and boiling diesels Steam in forty five degrees
The time has come To say fair's fair To pay the rent To pay our share
The time has come A fact's a fact It belongs to them Let's give it back
How can we dance when our earth is turning How do we sleep while our beds are burning Four wheels scare the cockatoos From Kintore East to Yuendemu The western desert lives and breathes In forty five degrees"
(author's note. Midnight Oil "Beds are Burning" an Homage to Luka killing the lead singer when he beat Mr.Mugger's brains in during Abby and Luka's wondering post-date walk on dark Chicago streets..)
Luka grinned, almost evilly, his teeth gleaming as his fingers hammered on the steering wheel. Singing along to the words, his head swaying slightly, keeping to the beat. As the song wound down. He looked at his passenger. "You like 80s music, Ross?? Here.. You sing to the next one.."
Doug looked at him warily. Sing.. Sing now.. In this muggy truck with no air conditioning and a crazed lunatic behind the wheel. "Sing? Uhh... "
"Now Ross.. Or I'm running over Carter AND Abby when I see them on this road.. I don't care anymore.. Now sing... Next song.. You promise me.."
"I.. Uhh.." Doug stared at the radio.. "Okay.. I..."
"I am covered in filth, at least it's my own My smell, well, you know you can't get higher One day in my life is six in your old With filth, it's all a little faster
I am off the leash and hot with fleas Family couldn't be stronger I am off your leash and hot with fleas
Hang your head, hang your head in shame! Hang your head in shame!" (Severed Heads -Hot With Fleas)
"That's no fair!" Doug wailed, arms crossed, his face flushed with embarrassment. "That was a bad song."
"Not entirely untrue though.. You are sitting in Tonto's seat.. It's probably riddled with fleas." Luka quipped, his voice hitching slightly, his vision fixed on the road shimmering with heat.
"I'm going to sing the next one!" Doug growled. "I'll sing the next one.. That wasn't fair."
"Stop your messin' around Better think of your future Time you straightened right out
Creatin' problems in town Rudy a message to you Stop your foolin' around
Time you straightened right out Better think of your future Or else you'll wind up in jail Rudy a message to you <> Stop your messin' around Better think of your future Time you straightened right out
Creatin' problems in town Rudy a message to you ..." (A Message to Rudy -The Specials)
Doug sputtered, turning red and staring out the window. Tears burned his eyes and he sighed.
Without taking his eyes off the road, Luka spoke. "How many times did you cheat on her.. Carol.."
"Before or after we got married, Kovac.." Doug said bitterly.
"After."
"Too numerous to mention. Want to narrow it down a bit?? I mean.. You mean after Tess and Kate were in school? After Terri was born or was it after Sam was born? I've fooled around.. Okay?? Not proud of it.. Not any of your business either." Doug replied hoarsely.
"With who though? It's not like you could revert to your old ways.. You haven't been sleeping with nurses or any of the specialists upstairs.. We would have heard something.. It's a sieve in County.. There's no secrets, you know that.." Luka said quietly. "Sometimes patients.. Sometimes ladies I pick up in the grocery check out line. Depends.. I'm handsome.. I'm a doctor.. It's not that difficult.." Doug muttered angrily. Was the man that thick?
"But it's hard to stay faithful to a woman like Carol? Ross.. You sicken me. She'd been telling me you were so wonderful.. You have four children, Doug.. How could you do something so..." Luka broke off, sighing.. "sad.. You're a very sad person, Ross.. I'm sorry you're not happy.. Especially with a woman like Carol."
"She stopped making me happy, many, many years ago, Kovac." Doug said bitterly, the hot sun streaming through the open passenger window. "She came to my house that day.. Rushed over on the plane.. She came to me.. But it was too late.. She'd kept so many things from me. She came to me because she said I was her soul mate.. I wasn't.. It was a forced relationship.. It always had been.. We had our moments.. but that's all it was.. Moments in time.. Not a marriage."
"But.. Ten years of marriage and children.. All based on lies?" Luka said incredulously.
"Not lies.. Just old faded hopes and dreams.. She isn't the first mistake I've made in my life and won't be the last. Hey.... Isn't that your Father-in-law dragging a body out of the ditch?" Doug said tiredly.
**************
"Get up you idiot." Nikola grumbled, dragging Carter to the center median. "I didn't completely run you over. "Get up."
Carter groaned painfully. Last thing he remembered was jumping in front of a car. Now he was flung halfway in the ditch and hurting all over. "I am.. Just wait a damn second.. I.. I think I sprained something. Wait would you? Do you know how much my family is worth? Do you realize who you just nearly killed with your shitty little car, sir? Do you realize who is about to phone his lawyer and sue your ass?!" Carter snarled angrily, as he pulled out his cell phone.
"Carter.. Don't!" Luka and Abby shouted almost in unison, Abby struggling from the mire of the ditch, and Luka leaping from his truck. "It's my/Luka's father in-law!"
"What? He just nearly ran over Abby and he DID run me over.. How does him being a former father in law change anything!?" Carter snarled, dialing out the international long distance codes and cursing at his phone. "Fuck.... Fucking thing doesn't work on these damn backwoods roads.."
"Carter.. Calm down.. Let us take you and Abby back to the farm.. Get you both cleaned up, and check out that leg.. Okay?" Doug said encouragingly. "Okay Carter?"
The younger man sighed, and nodded as he allowed Luka and Nik help him into the truck. "Abby you okay?" Carter asked, watching her walk a few steps behind.
"I'm fine Carter.. Let's just go back to the farm. Okay? Get some food and-" Abby stopped. "There ISN'T any food.. I meant to go grocery shopping and.." She trailed off.
*****
Kerry and Carol eyed the last of Dave's snack. "You mean that's the last thing to eat in the whole house Malucci?" Kerry said menacingly.
"Uhh..." Dave looked at the two women, frightened and wondering if he threw the apple STRAIGHT UP in the air, if he had enough time to make a break for it. "It.. m-might be.. Why?" He squeaked nervously.