"Stuck in the middle with you.. Clowns to the left of me.. Jokers to the right.. I'm stuck in the middle with you.."
Dave opened up his eyes slowly, glued together with dried sleep and blood. His eyes widened sharply and he backed away in a strangled yelped gasp. Cindy was singing.. Her lips moved slowly, mouthing the words and her melodious voice carrying the notes and echoing them around the cavernous stomach. He didn't know whether to run, to cry or just go back to sleep.
His girlfriend's decapitated head was singing Steeler's Wheel tunes.. And quite well for that matter.. When Cindy was alive she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.
"Trying to make some sense of it all. But I can see it makes no sense at all Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor? Yeah, I don't think I can take any mo-Dave... That's it.. Hey.. He's waking up..Dave's girlfriend's melodious voice was drastically changed into that of Shirley one of the surgical nurses in the OR.. Now.. Dave found Shirley very hot.. For an older woman anyway.. He was more after Lucy's meat.. At least he had been when he was waiting at the fairgrounds.
There had been this strange message on his answering machine.. Lucy.. Sounding quite agitated and upset with the weird background noise of cackling laughter. She'd told him to meet her at the gates of the fair grounds and bring a bag of raw hamburger.
At the time Dave had found it very odd indeed, but he wasn't one to ask questions, especially when it involved Lucy alone in the dark, Lucy who obviously had some weird raw hamburger fetish.
Dave moaned softly and struggled to swallow, his throat was raw and sore from the extubation and he coughed painfully.
"Dave?? Wake up Dave.. Come on.. That's it.."
Somebody roughly wrenched one of his eyelids open and blinded him with a pen light. "I've got a five o'clock meeting.. Come on Malatanucci.. For christ sake!"
****
He'd stopped off at the grocery store and picked up four pounds of hamburger and a PentHouse and a Playboy. The clerk cocked a brow at the doctor's purchases and Dave grinned at him as he slapped down a bottle of Wild Turkey and a box of condoms as a few last minute purchases. "Uh.. Man.. What in the hell do you have planned for tonight??"
Dave laughed. "Quiet night at home.. How about you?"
The clerk responded by snickering and rolling his eyes. "Man... You are Sick and twisted.."
Dave picked up his bags and ran out of the store laughing his head off. "Sick and twisted.. Twisted and sick.. and proud of it. Oh man... If you only knew.."
The pier was dark and a thick mist hung in the air like a wet soggy blanket. Dave pulled at the fabric of his tight cotton t-shirt, which was already moist with sweat and humidity.
He swung the bag of meat, porn, booze and condoms lazily in the dead thick heat and advanced on the darkened gates.
Dave swallowed and reached into his bag and pulled out the bottle of whisky and twisted the cap off sharply and took a long swig. A sharp bang rang in Dave's ears and he stumbled forward as bright spots flashed before his eyes. The bottle slipped from his hands and smashed on the wet pavement. The shards of glass glittering in the moonlight like pieces of stars that had fallen from the sky. The thick viscous liquor pooled on the asphalt like blood, and Dave tried to run.
He wheezed as he stumbled, trying to compose himself when the bang came again, this time against his legs. Dave screamed in pain and sunk to his knees as somebody started to beat him senseless.
He laughed softly.. 'They wouldn't have to beat me much..' Thought Dave sadly. 'I was senseless coming out here!' He curled painfully into a ball as they attacked him with a large wooden bat. The bat came down firmly across his left leg and Dave yelped in pain as he heard it crack. They laughed maniacally.. Crazily as they continued to hit his ribs methodically, hearing the ribs crack and vital organs damaged.
Dave panted softly and lay still, till he was certain he was alone, he struggled to sit up. Blearily he attempted to look at his attackers as his blood pooled into his eyes.
He crawled onto his feet and stood shakily on his broken leg, when his attacker emerged from the shadows with several of his friends and knives that shimmered in the moonlight.
Dave sunk to his knees and tried to crawl away as the knives came at him. He used his porn magazines for protection, Heidi Klum's fine round bosom being shred like newspaper. Finally in a vain attempt to hit one his attackers, Dave tossed the raw hamburger weakly.
There was the high pitched squealing and growling like dogs fighting
over a bone, it was animalistic. Evil.. Dave wiped the blood from his eyes
and saw several shadows fading only making themselves known to exist by
the faint noise of their large red shoes, slapping on the
wet pavement.
As quick as they'd appeared, his muggers had vanished. "Clowns.." Dave murmured before he slipped into a dense fog of nothingness.