"DAD!!!! Where's the shampoo!??"

"Under the sink, behind my shaving cream.." Mark muttered irritably as he shoveled in a spoonful of Corn Pops.

"Dad! It's not there! I gotta get ready for school, Lindsey will be here any m-" Rachel was cut off as the doorbell rang.

"Rachel! Are you ready yet!? We're gonna be late for school."  Lindsey yelled from the porch.

"DAD!!" Rachel wailed as she rummaged through the bathroom cupboards.

Mark sighed, propping his head up with the heel of his hand as he idly stirred the sugary milk that syruped in the bottom of his bowl. His gaze rose to the door and he waved in Lindsey half-heartedly and the thirteen year old walked in the house and closed the door behind her. "She's in there.."

Lindsey looked in the direction of all the muffled curses and sobbing. "Dr.Greene.. I.. uh.." Lindsey stared at the floor and scuffed her toe on the kitchen linoleum.

"Okay.. Fine.. Take a seat.. I'll go get her." Mark grumbled, rising from the chair and shuffling down the hall. "Rach' did you find the sham-"

"DAD!" The door was suddenly slammed in the face of a red-faced embarrassed father by a mortified, half naked teenager. "Yes! Yes I found it. Now leave me alone!" Rachel wailed, as she stumbled in the bathroom and went crashing into the tub.

"Rachel!? Are you okay!?" Mark said worriedly.

"I'm fine Dad!"

He sighed heavily, dragging his feet back to the breakfast table and plopping down in his seat. Mark stared at the soggy mess at the bottom of his cereal bowl. Blobs of soggy corn floated eerily on the yellow tinged milk and his stomach churned. "You want something to eat, Lindsey?" He muttered as he pushed away the bowl and stood up from the table.

Lindsey stared at him and shook her head, clutching her books tighter to her chest. Rachel was right.. Dr.Greene was weird.. "No thank you Dr.Greene.." She murmured politely, returning her gaze down to her purple sneakers.. The shade of grape matching the young teen's bingo-markered hair.

"I've said before that you can call me Mark.." He smiled, shaking his head thoughtfully.

"No thank you Dr.Greene.." She repeated and Mark sighed.

In the back of his mind, Mark heard the drone of the water pump in the background, as he walked to the sink and plunked his bowl in and turned on the tap.

"DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rachel shrieked, stumbling from the bathroom, slick with soap and a towel half draped around her middle. The shampoo dripped in her eyes and the water puddled underneath her.

As Rachel screamed and the bowl, Mark had been holding in partially in his hands, shattered on the floor, Ella woke suddenly from her nap and started to scream.

Lindsey's blue eyes widened as she looked at Mark, who had stooped to pick up the broken bowl,  Rachel who had grabbed her towel and stumbled into the bathroom and slammed the door, and to Ella who continued to scream from the nursery. "Uhh Dr.Greene.."

Mark looked at Lindsey and a shard of the bowl, sliced cleanly across his closed palm. As the blood welled, he closed his hand into a fist. "Go home Lindsey.. I'll drive Rachel to school.." He said resignedly as the baby continued to scream and Rachel continued to mutter and curse in the bathroom.

Lindsey, bent down and picked up her knapsack, her purple fringed hair falling in her eyes and the 'permanent' tattoo melting and running down her arm from the already extreme heat of the morning. Teenagers... Teenagers and infants.. Mark sighed as she scooped up the school bag and banged down the front steps.

What in the hell had he been thinking, trying to combine the two? He slumped back into the chair and craned his head back, staring at the ceiling. That was the answer.. Forget kids, he should have gotten a Chia Pet.