COULD I BE TRANSSEXUAL?

If only, IF ONLY there were a 100% certain, clinically proven, scientifically flawless test that one could do to decide this question's answer! Unfortunately, there isn't. Many transsexuals are self-diagnosed long before they ever set foot in a psychiatrist's room. Others appear one day as a quivering mass of nervous jelly in front of the shrink, clueless as to the source of their deep discontent and take many months to emerge with their identity clear in their minds. There are many shades in between. However, unlike our male to female 'cousins', we FTMs tend to be not quite so good at introspective reflection - that is to say, we're often not so good at sorting out and managing our emotions. We can be unimaginitve when trying to think of the right questions to ask ourselves, and this, added to the probability of being laughed out of town if we try to discuss these things with anyone we know, means we tend to wait far too long before we really decide one way or the other. In fact, it's my observation that those of us who were under the impression that we were lesbians in our 'former lives' tend to take longer to finally snap and say "NO! I AM A MAN!" For me at least, the experience of being the stereotypical respectable mother and housewife that I forced myself to be in an attempt to 'fix' myself and drive away my lurking masculinity, was harsh enough to show up pretty quickly that I was NOT a woman. So, here I'm going to try to present a few things for people who are unsure of their identity to ask themselves, in the hope of helping a self-diagnosis. Quite often the answers to these questions change every time you ask yourself, but after a while you will start to reach a final and permanent conclusion. It's at that point that you will probably decide whether you're going to make an appointment with the doctor, or just breathe a big sigh of relief!

HOW LONG HAVE I FELT THIS WAY? WHAT HAS CHANGED RECENTLY IN MY LIFE THAT HAS MADE ME THINK ALONG THESE LINES? HOW DO I REALLY FEEL WHEN I PUT ON A DRESS AND MAKE-UP? HOW DOES IT MAKE ME FEEL WHEN PEOPLE COMPLIMENT MY LOOKS, AND WHY? HOW DO I FEEL ABOUT THE PHRASE "OPPOSITE SEX"? WHEN I LOOK AT THESE PICTURES, WHICH FIGURES DO I IDENTIFY MOST WITH? WHY?

From now on, think about these things. Decide for yourself whether you feel you could be happy in any type of female role, imagine it as clearly and vividly as you can. Imagine yourself growing old - how do you see your body? If I ask you to think of yourself as an old woman, a catwalk model, a businesswoman. Picture yourself looking your best - as you really want to look. Which would you rather be (not have sex with!)? Look into their eyes - can you remember feeling the way BOTH of them felt for these photos?

ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE!

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