August 12, 1999 |
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I don't even know who this is to yet. I am just going to write my thoughts and figure out who gets it when it's all written. THIS THIS is what it looks like when AL and I play together. I will explain what THIS means to me. Just be patient. You must see the set I have been living on first. Then we will get to explaning THIS. I am at work right now. It's Thursday morning August 12, 1999. Yesterday was a weird day for me and AL. Wednesday morning, my car was still making those scraping and popping noises I started hearing the day before. I knew it was something bad. It sounded like something metal was pressing on the wheel as it went around. But I had to take my Mom and her husband to the airport this morning. My Mom was sleeping on my livingroom floor for a week and the relief was off when Mom gets back on the plane this morning. Some 15 or 20 miles down Eye Five, hearing that odd scraping noise the whole way. Come on Baby, Come on Red Pimp. Just a few more miles to the airport, keep hauling. I wasn't prepared for a panic that might ensue if my car broke down on the way to the airport. Come on Car. Guts out now or forever I scorn you. Just get MOM to the airport! Luckily, nothing went wrong and Mom got safely to the airport. KC couldn't wait to get the hell out of Seattle. All of it was just too much for him. My Mom kissed me good bye and another happy birthday. I do love her you know. She's my Mom. So I drive another solid hour back out to work. Car gets me all the way there, right up to the parking lot at my work building. At lunch, the guilt gets to me and I bring the car in. This wasn't the kind of sound you should ignore for too long. I had to walk back to work from the 76 station. Some odd 4 miles or so. It took me an hour and a half of walking along highway 522 to get back to the office. I wasn't missed much. My stupid computer would've crashed 3 times by now anyway. So I might as well be wasting my time walking down a Bothell highway. It's as good a place as any to waste time at. So I get to work and crash my machine 3 more times. That was when I realized I didn't have a car. How was I going to get to AL's if I didn't have a car within 4 miles? I needed a ride. Stumble onto a half friend co worker named Turk. He's the guy who has a crush on me. (He insulted my nipples last night. He doesn't know he insulted me because I kept my cool about it. I dismissed it when he said big areolas disgust him. And I happen to have very sensitive nipples because of my big areolas, and I would take more nipple-sensitivity over asthetic-areolas ANY day.) Turk sees a cute jogger. Oh Jeezes. He says into his rear view mirror. FUCK look at that jogger. That's it. I'm turning around. I looked and saw a tidy female in red jogger shorts. Mmm you like her. You want to snack on her don't you? God, he says into the rear view mirror. Damn, and she's a redhead too. All men love redheads. It just should be common knowledge. Except my coworker Chauncey, every guy is attracted to redheads. But Chauncey doesn't know a real redhead anyway. So his opinion is irrelevant. Anyway, Turk doesn't have the sack to turn his car around, so he insults the joggers tits. Eh, tits are too big anyway. I couldn't handle anything bigger than a C cup. But Turk, you just don't realize how fucking BIG some C cups chicks are! Yeah, but if the tits get much bigger than a C cup, you risk getting breasts with those huge nipple things. God, sick ass hell. I like the perky little nipples .... Yeah, Turk. The nipples that feel and taste just like real sylicone. OOOoo. Ah! Tiny areolas are fine and all, but mine get sucked so smartly by my Ummfriend anyway and those big sensitive areolas are right there to help me feel him better. Suck, suck. THIS is what it looks like in my head. I am vivid in my daydreams. For moments in a day, I will completely phase out of my real world and drift into memories of perfect sex. God. I woke up next to AL that morning, in my tent. Naked and gentle. Fuck, fuck fuck..... THIS is my daydream of AL's mouth as he kisses me. THIS is how I phase out of work all day. I can't get AL out of my head. He and I had some brisk, passionate sex Tuesday night while my Mom worried about me back at my apartment. Passionate, oh yes. Believe THIS when I tell you. AL and I have brimming nights of passion. Not to BRAG or anything. It's all in my head, and THIS memory of sex with AL has become more vivid than my conscious world. I had to see him again. I still have half my urges left. THIS vision of AL and I..... naked.... squirming... this is the closest I have ever gotten with anyone. The most charming, velvet touch, insightful, creative 24 year old friend of mine. He's a thinker and an actor. He's a nice ride home. He's a hand worth holding. He's a vision of stature and joy to me. And you AL are welcome inside of me anytime you so wish. THIS is what I feel about AL. It should be bottled. Liquid THIS. And upon an hour of consuming anyone above the age of 21 can feel exactly how good I feel, all contained inside THIS bottle! Back at the 76 Station, Turk asks if I need a ride home tonight. At this point, I had already left a message at Ummfriend AL's place asking him to pick me up. So, when you have a message on a machine somewhere, you kind of have to stick to what you said on the message. If I took the ride home from Turk, then there was a possibility AL might get sent on a wild goose chase looking for his phantom Best Friend. (I like it that you don't entitle me as your girlfriend, your lover, or even as your significant other. I like it that you call me your best friend. God, that means more to me than even a wedding ring could.) Sending AL on a wild goose chase wouldn't be very nice for Ummfriend AL. So I declined Turk's ride offer. I had to stick to my word on AL's answering machine. In the meantime, my car is undrivable until the axel is replaced. The mechanic said the wheel was moments from popping off. And you know what happens then? The mechanic said. "You pay $100 to get your wreck towed off the highway. So I leave my car with the mechanic, too afraid to drive the ole Kid Geo. And I get a ride back to work with Turk, and start waiting for AL to call and save my day. The point is, how do you have passion? You have to have build up time. Because THIS vision in my head, AL and sex and me. Warm blood, skin and hair, smiling and feeling it in your deepest parts. I need the time to let the vision marinate in my mind. It takes an average of 4 days away from you AL. Not always, but here's what happens in my mind: Here's how I decide not to see you on Day 1 away from you: I just got done sexing with you, enjoying you AL. For 2 days in a row usually. But this morning after 2 days of intense sex, I felt my passions ebb off a little. I still want AL a lot, and the sex was incredible. But I had a feeling if I saw him again tonight, the passion wouldn't be the same. I say, I bet if I abstain from him tonight, I will feel my urges rebuild again. I better not call him tonight, I am thinking currently. It's buildup time. I usually start thinking of something we could do together in the future. I will need your escort service on Saturday AL. No kidding. I have a plan. Day 2: Oh yeah. I usually hang with Dooley. He and I watch Chimp TV and get stoned. I talk about AL and Damon and how annoying my Mom was. And Dooley talks about fags, chimps and searching for a job. Day 3 away from AL: I feel it could possibly be passionate if we met up on day 3, but I need to ripen a little longer. Day three I go to the Lava Lounge to ripen another night away from AL. Day 4: I give in. I have to have him again. But sometimes AL and I get wrapped up in something on day 4 away from each other. If so, day 5 gets to be nothing but THIS all day long. (Is it happening? Are you visualizing incredible sex every time I write the word THIS? Because the knee-jerk visions I get just jump up and surprise me. No matter if I am in rebuild time or not. Always thinking of Sex with AL All day, all I ever see in my head. All I see is THIS.) |
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