Date: Tue Aug 31 05:08:53 1999 From: murphy@MYBLUEHEAVEN.COM (Phil Murphy) Subject: Ten Years Later To: AZRKBA@asu.edu
Well, I've given up on going to sleep tonight -- too much on my mind.
In the words -- the very last words -- of Steve McQueen in The Sand Pebbles,
"What happened? ...What the hell happened?"
Ten years ago today, I made a phone call. I was making a conscious decision to make a difference. At least, that was my hope.
I'm afraid that may have been the dumbest mistake of my life.
After being snubbed by a local TV reporter (Bud Foster) when I called KGUN (funny call letters, eh?), I called the NRA and asked a man named Tom Wyld in Public Affairs if the NRA could use a story about what had just happened to me. He said yes. I said, "Okay, what's next?"
Oh, if I'd only known then what I know now...
My intent was innocent enough. I knew that the school shootings in Stockton, California had triggered a wave of unprecedented anti-gun hysteria (sound familiar?) nationwide, but after that foul deed had been committed, I had done little to personally aid our side in this fight aside from joining the NRA. Suddenly, my circumstances seemed to dictate that I might be of some help in a purely PR sense. The press was simply aghast that one of *those* guns had been used in a positive light, so I thought the NRA was the next place that should be contacted.
In a nutshell, that phone call was made a few hours after a particular 911 call I'd made. I guess it was about 7:00 PM Eastern Time, and it was a sheer fluke that there were still people in the NRA's DC office who could speak to me.
Jesus, what the hell was I expecting to accomplish? Why couldn't I read the writing on the wall? How was it that I'd missed the fact that it wasn't the guy with 34 prior felonies and violating his third adult parole (he was only 19 -- you do the "post-18" math) while he stood there, pissing on the floor, staring down the barrel of the gun I was pointing at him who had lost the battle, but it was *WE* who had lost?
I should have sat down and let Johnny Johnson (yeah, sometimes you just can't make up a name better than the real thing) ransack the place and kill me. After all, he'll be out in a little more than a year (to carry out his threats against my family and me) while I'm being hunted down by various government agencies because the goddamned gun I used to bag that piece of shit will be considered illegal.
Think about that.
When the hell did I become the bad guy in all this?
The rifle I used to bag a thrice-convicted felon who was breaking into my family's home is now the sole preoccupation of every political hack who ever dreamed that a nice, safe society begins when the streets are free of people like me. This very rifle cannot be sold as new firearm because of the way it *looks* according to federal law, but this very rifle -- if possessed by a Californian -- will be the reason police will be kicking in doors as soon as they get the go-ahead from that sick state's governor.
Think about that.
Innocent people -- like me -- will be forced to comply with a law that's based on the laws of Nazi Germany, and most Americans will cheer on the black-suited jackboots who will enforce these laws as did the German people in the 1930's. And if the gun-owners don't comply with the Nazi laws, and those cheering Americans keep cheering?
You watched "Schindler's List" didn't you?
Ten years, two congressional campaigns, co-founding a civil rights organization and a zillion media appearances later, I know I -- I know that *WE* -- haven't made a difference changing the hearts and minds of the vast majority of those cheering Americans. They're going to keep right on cheering when the State comes for us. Most of the fools will keep right on cheering when the State comes for them.
So, here I sit -- broke; physically and mentally exhausted; disgusted beyond words.
Can we change it?
We could, but I doubt it... Not the way we've been attempting to so far.
We're the outlaws now. We're the ones they want in jail. They have their new Jews. We are merely waiting for our yellow stars so "decent" Americans will know to walk on the other side of the street and shield the eyes of their children from the disgusting sight of a people who dared speak of Freedom and Justice in a reverent tone that defied media convention and the pundits' bigotry.
The only question that remains is, "Will we go quietly into that dark night?"
My friends, please understand, I really do see something positive out of the chaos of my political awareness that I don't wish to be swept aside in my rather dower treatise.
I want you to know that the only reason I can muster the guts to get up in the morning these days is that, over these past ten years, I've met enough men and women of honor and courage to know that these people will NOT go quietly into that dark night, and that they will NOT allow their children's future to be built upon the lies and misdeeds of those evil men and women who have made a fascist, racist and hate-fille America their life's ambition. I am eternally in your debt for giving me the strength to carry on.
Thank you, and God bless you.
My thanks to all for allowing me the bandwidth to reminisce and remonstrate.
Sincerely,
Phillip W. Murphy
Phil Murphy PMB #338 3400 E. Speedway Blvd., Ste. 118 Tucson, AZ 85716 murphy@myblueheaven.com www.myblueheaven.com/murphy/