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blinding rays stab my eyelids. i groan, turn and reach out to put my arm around you, but you are gone. slowly i force an eye to open and inspect my half empty bed. my side: blankets are scrunched, sheets hanging to the floor, pillow mangled and twisted with the indent of my head. your side: undisturbed, sheets still tucked under the mattress, pillow still puffy. i lay back in sleepy bewilderment as i ponder where on earth you could be... you were with me as i went to bed. i felt your tongue penetrate my lips as you leaned over and kissed me. i tasted your sweet lips and inhaled the scent of your breath as you whispered goodnight. i shivered as your teeth nipped at my neck and i knew you were not ready for sleeping. you straddled my hips and teased me as you removed the t-shirt you always sleep in. you slapped away my hand as i tried to caress your nipple and laughed as i playfully pouted. you stood on the bed, i tried to pull you down fearing someone might see you through our windows. you danced around, uncaring, just wanting to excite me as you did your strip tease. then you stopped. i sat up and asked you what was wrong as you dropped to your knees. you asked if i loved you. i caressed your cheek and lifted your head so you could watch the emotion in my eyes as i told you i love you more than life itself. you grinned that devilish grin that sets my heart on fire and your doe eyes glistened naughtily as you pushed me back and held my hands above my head. again i felt the hot wetness of your tongue force its way into my mouth and i was powerless to resist you any longer. i rolled you over. you giggled as we wrestled and you offered no resistance as i parted your legs. i felt the white hot knives of you fingernails raked down my back as i tongued your nipples. heard the soft moans of desire as i kissed down the soft white skin of your belly. i traced the curves of your buttocks and smoothed the gooseflesh with my hand as you raised your pelvis. your sweet aroma coursed up into my brain and switched on every sensory receptor in my body. i tingled as i leaned in to taste you. you flowed over my tongue and down my throat. as always you were exquisite. your hair tickled my ear as you kissed the curve of my jaw. barely audible i heard you whisper "i love you" as you snuggled into the crook of my arm to sleep the peaceful sleep of the post-orgasmal. i noticed your hair smelled of peaches as i kissed the top of your head, whispered an "i love you" of my own, and with the taste of you on my tongue fell to a blissful repose... i turn from the bed and the slowly spreading stain of tears on my pillow, and look to the screen of my computer. my heart leaps and a smile sneaks wearily upon my face to banish the salty water. there you are. the blinking message waiting to bid me good morning fills my heart with a happy depression. to love you is joy, not to know you is torture.
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phoenix mckenna © Tue. 12 September, 2000