"Even in our own world, sometimes we are aliens."

"Today is tomorrow yesterday"

"Seize the day!"

"You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them..."

"all my life I prayed for someone like you"

"I caught the moon today!"

"Beware of all enterprise that requires new clothes."

"Be good or I'm calling the gypsies..."

"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk passed you again?"

"Those of you who think you know everything, you're annoying those of us who do."

"Life goes on."

"Make your own mistakes then fix them"

"God loves everyone!"

"Forgive them sire, they know not what they do."

"The world is what you make of it."

"If you mind your own business, then you don't have time to be in mine!"

"I didn't forget, I just don't remember."

"Live and let live"

"Live life to its fullest"

"Kindness is the mightiest force in the world"

"Whenever you think you've hit bottom, someone throws you a shovel."

"The best revenge against your enemies is living the life you love"

"Time and tide wait for no man But you can obviously wait for them! "

"Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer"

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what you're up to."

"You can't lose what you don't have."

"Life is too important to be taken seriously"

"Always, follow your heart."

"Popularity is kind of like Tupperware-expensive plastic sold at parties."

"I wish my mother told me the same thing about guys as she did horror movies, don't worry honey it's all fake"

"Good girls go to heaven... Bad girls go everywhere"

"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?"

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."

"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."

"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

"Time wounds all heels."

"Whatever it is,... I'm against it."

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

"It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end."

"It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere."

"Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun."

"If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees."

"Never knock on Death's door; ring the doorbell and run (he hates that.)"

"When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?"

"The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open."

"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking."

"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism."

"He who hesitates is probably right."

"No one is listening until you made a mistake."

"Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view."

"The hardness of the butter is in inverse proportion to the softness of the bread."

"The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach."

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."

"To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles."

"Two wrongs are only the beginning."

"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."

"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard."

"Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life."

"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up."

"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."

"If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before."

"Change is inevitable...except from vending machines."

"Don't sweat petty things...or pet sweaty things."

"Money can't buy love, but it can rent a very close imitation."

"Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow."

"Always try to be modest, and be damn proud of it."

"If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments."

"Chastity is curable, if detected early."

"Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener."

"Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks."

"Borrow money from pessimists. they don't expect it back."

"Half the people you know are below average."

"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot."

"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good."