Funny Poems
A collection of funny poems, rhymes,
skipping
songs, clapping songs and the
like
Monday's child is fair of face
Tuesday's child is full of grace
Wednesday's child is full of woe
Thursday's child has far to go
Friday's child is loving and giving
Saturday's child works hard for a living
But the child who is born on the Sabbath day
is wonderful kind, loving, giving and gay.
There was a little girl
who had a little curl
right in the middle of her forehead
and when she was good
she was very, very good
but when she was bad
she was horrid
Girls are made of
sugar and spice and
everything nice
Boys are made of
snakes and snails
and puppy dog tails
When God made little boys he made them out of
sting
He found he used a bit too much and left a little
thing
When God made little girls he made them out of
lace
He found he didn't use quite enough so he left a
little space
There once was a farmer who took a young miss
Into a barn where he gave her a...
lecture on horses and chickens and eggs
and told her she had the most beautiful...
manners that suited a girl of her charms
a girl that he wanted to take in his...
ironing and washing and then if she did
They would be married and raise lots of...
sweet violets!
Now I lay me down to rest.
I pray I pass tomorrow's test.
If I should die before I wake,
that's one less test I'll have to take.
Cinderella dressed in yella
Went upstairs to kiss a fella
Made a mistake
And kissed a snake
How many doctors will it take?
1, 2, 3, 4...
Gilly oh golly
How I love my lolly
Right down to the very last lick
But what can I do with it
When I am through with it
And all I have left is the stick?
I went to the animal fair
The birds and the beasts were there
The big baboon
by the light of the moon
was brushing his auburn hair
The monkey fell out of his bunk
And slid down the elephant's trunk
The elephant sneezed
and fell to his knees
But what became of the monkey monkey monkey?
Not last night but the night before
24 robbers came knocking at my door
As I went out they came in
This is what they said to me:
Spanish lady turn around
Spanish lady touch the ground
Spanish lady do high kicks
Spanish lady show your nicks! (ie knickers)
See See my playmate
Come out and play with me
Bring your dollies three
Climb up my apple tree
Slide down my rain barrel
Into my cellar door
and we'll be jolly friends forevermore
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy wan't fuzzy
was he?
Teddy bear, teddy bear turn around
Teddy bear, teddy bear touch the ground
Teddy bear, teddy bear tie your shoe
Teddy bear, teddy bear that will do
(or)
Teddy bear, teddy bear turn around
Teddy bear, teddy bear touch the ground
Teddy bear, teddy bear climb the stairs
Teddy bear, teddy bear say your prayers
Teddy bear, teddy bear turn out the light
Teddy bear, teddy bear say goodnight
(or)
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, touch the ground,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, show your shoe,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, that will do.
Teddy bear, teddy bear, brush your hair,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, climb the stairs.
Teddy bear, teddy bear, reach for the sky,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, wave goodbye.
I am a Girl Guide dressed in blue,
These are the actions I must do,
Salute to the Captain,
Bow to the Queen,
And turn my back ,
To the boy in green.
Miss Lulou had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Lolou went to heaven
The steamboat went to...
Hello operator
Please give me number nine
If you disconnect me
I'll kick you in the...
Behind the yellow curtain
There is a piece of glass
And if you sit upon it
You'll hurt your little...
Ask me no more questions
I'll tell you no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Doing up their..
Flies are in the city
The bees are in the park
Miss Lolou and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the the...
Dark is like a movie
A movies like a show
The show is in a theatre
And that is all...
I know I know my ma
I know I know my pa
I know I know my sister
Where's a B-cup bra
The bra is very white
The bra is very clean
Miss Lolou and her boyfriend
Are kissing behind the magazine.